Hardest of Hearts
by meliz875
Summary: Years after fleeing La Push to start over, Leah is numb and determined to forget, burying her scars under the only lifestyle she knows. But will a chance encounter from her past teach her to feel again? To remember the beauty in the person she used to be?
1. Hunted

___**Disclaimer: **__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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_Author's Note:_ _This story is a canon-divergent AU. In other words, I altered a couple canon elements for the sake of the plot. In this story, Leah and Sam were still together when she phased. The Emily imprint happened later. Leah didn't stick around La Push like she did in canon, and I threw in one extra twist that drove her away._

_If you read my oneshot, Sweetest of Words, parts of this will seem familiar. It should. The oneshot was based on this idea and while some ideas will transfer over to this story, parts will be completely different, including the fact this version is NOT all-human, as well as some of the conflict, the resolution and the ending. __Overall, this story will explore how pain and loss can destroy someone's self worth, as well as the journey Leah will take to restore it. _

_I don't see this being a gratuitously long story, but I am willing to bet it will have at least a dozen 5-7,000 word chapters or so. My GOAL for updates will be once per week. In conclusion, I hope you all enjoy and stick around for another crazy ride with me! :)_

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_**Suggested Listening: "Hardest of Hearts" by Florence + The Machine, "Come Along" by Vicci Martinez, "Painted On My Heart" by Cult, "Hurricane" by MS MR**_

"_There is love in your body but you can't hold it in_

_It pours from your eyes and spills from your skin_

_Tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks_

_And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts."_

The red beneath her eyelids only intensified the more the warmth – the _heat_ – pressed against her.

Each thrust driving her horrible day, the feelings of helplessness and emptiness, further into the depths of her subconscious.

Tension built within, mixing deliciously with the whiskey-induced haze in her brain. The combination causing parts of her to go numb. All except the parts that mattered. Right now, the only thing she allowed herself to feel was the hot flesh of someone else's hands digging into her hips. The sensation created when he drug his teeth across the exposed skin of her neck. The friction as he moved in and out of her.

Trying to see his face, she knotted her fingers in his hair, pulling back his head. He struggled to keep his hold on her thighs, her back slamming gracelessly against the door to the bathroom stall. The unsteady structure shuddered beneath the force of it.

Growling, she tugged again.

She needed to see a face. Just for a second. It was the best way to remember.

So this wouldn't happen twice.

But he didn't budge, a labored grunt leaving his throat as he unceremoniously fell against her. Clenching her teeth, she released his shoulder with her other hand. Reaching up, her fingers curled around the top of the partition to her right, his cold hand pushing the black dress further up her thighs. Heel-clad feet uncurled from his waist and fell limp, finding the back of the toilet behind him with a thud. Bracing herself.

Swearing silently, the frustration simmered. It overtook the pressure building inside her, diverting her focus from the end result. This wasn't new to her, and this wasn't a new concept, yet it obviously wasn't a task to which _he_ was cut out for.

_What the fuck is his name?_

_Oh, well._

_It doesn't matter anyway._

Closing her eyes again, her other hand stretched upward, anchoring herself, using the leverage she had with her legs to match the man's movements.

They'd already gone this far.

She was going to get every last bit out of this guy.

It was going to be worth it.

Taking a deep, labored breath, she focused on the friction once again and pushed back the rest. The fact he wasn't tall enough for this. The way his muscles stretched taut under skin. They didn't ripple, moving gracefully when they strained beneath the force of his grip. How his flesh wasn't dark enough. How it wasn't warm enough.

She shuddered viscerally, squeezing her eyes shut.

Stopping herself from looking too long.

Stopping herself from remembering.

Not here. Not now. Not like this. Not when the man before her was the only salvation she had. A brief moment of darkness, obscuring what she desperately needed to forget.

Gritting her teeth, eyes still closed, she matched the man's labored movements with her own. The advance of her hips just enough to set the heat on its course once again, she could feel her skin tingle. In the same moment, the numbness inside returned as the pressure grew. As it overtook everything.

With one cry – the only one she allowed herself to make – her entire body exploded, an intense, delirious sensation. Limbs quaking, she clenched her fingers around the wall, sweat collecting on her palms as her pulse throbbed through every inch of her veins.

This was it. This was what she wanted.

Nothing but fire. Nothing but exploding light behind her eyelids.

_No pain._

Only pleasure.

Swallowing thickly, she loosened her fingers against cool metal, listening to the man in front of her. He was panting as he let himself finish, a pathetic whimper leaving his throat as he did. She allowed her eyes to open just in time to roll them, her gaze flitting to the ceiling as her body relaxed. As the feeling subsided and recoiled into her stomach, just in time for the twisting knot in her gut to flare, remembering – for probably the hundredth time – this never worked out the way she wanted it to.

It only lasted a second. A second she was always in search of. The sensation was always too brief. The feeling always went away before she could fully savor it for what it was.

Pure and intense.

Simple and uncomplicated.

Unruined.

The numbness was gone and almost every part of her was back, her head where it belonged as she felt the man's hands on her ass, giving her permission to let go of the partition.

Within a moment, she was back on her own two feet, the saliva thick in her mouth. Searching inside herself, she found nothing. No shame. No regret. Yet the nothingness settled heavily in her stomach as the man pulled back to look at her, a smirk spread across his features as he reached down and zipped up his pants, chuckling as his fingers fumbled with the button.

It always worked out this way too. They got proud. They got cocky.

This time, she really got a good look at his face. _So different_. With the curly blonde hair and the wiry muscles of his arms peeking out from beneath his t-shirt, even she had to admit he was a little too much of a frat boy for her taste. But after he bought her a fourth whiskey and water, she figured it would be okay to make an exception. This one had made it easy. Sneaking a glance at his ass when he went to the bathroom the first time, she had the sudden urge to see if the college boy could keep up.

She also wondered what that ass would feel like if she drug her nails across it.

So the second time, she followed him. She was the one who slammed him against the outside of the bathroom stall, fingers curling into his flesh, making her intentions clear from the beginning. Letting him know this on her terms, not his.

_She_ was calling the shots.

Not him.

And judging by the oblivious look on his face, he became confused somewhere along the way.

Sighing, she leaned against the stall door and ignored his grin as she reached forward, plucking her panties from where they were tucked in the pocket of his jeans. Bending forward slightly, she hitched one leg through them and then the other before pulling them up in one swift, unabashed movement, her eyes now focused on the black tile lining the far wall.

"So..."

His voice interrupted her rapt effort to avoid his glance, and her eyes bounced his way in spite of herself. The knot in her stomach tightened and her jaw tensed.

_Here it comes_, she thought.

He'd served his purpose, and he had no idea.

"Can I call you?"

Running one hand through her long, black hair, she scoffed, remembering rehearsed lines she spoke several times before this one. "Why?"

The man blinked at her, clearly taken aback by her pointed rebuttal. "Uh, well...I don't know. I guess I just figured you enjoyed yourself, so maybe we could get together again sometime."

This time, she stood up straight, adjusting the black strapless dress so it once again rested correctly on her body.

"It is what it is," she retorted, reaching behind her and releasing the door lock, easing it open before taking a couple steps away from the man. His mouth was now hanging slightly agape. "I've got plenty of people I know should I ever need a good fuck," she continued, arching one eyebrow almost as if challenging him. "And trust me, you won't be one of them."

Sometimes her exit was punctuated by a string of four-letter words or less than endearing names, but this time, the only noise as Leah Clearwater turned and walked out of the bathroom was the sound of her heels clicking on the tile floor.

The thick, warm air of the bar slammed into her when the heavy wooden door closed behind her. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her dress one last time, not missing the petulant, attitude-filled glare she received from the girl leaning rigidly on the wall just next to the bathroom door. She resisted the urge to wipe the snotty look off the girl's makeup-caked face herself, choosing to smirk over her shoulder instead.

"He's still in there," Leah muttered, just loud enough for the girl to hear. "If you hurry, you might get a turn too."

The busy Chicago bar had filled up quickly in the short span of time she was in the bathroom, which was uncommon for a Thursday night. The air inside was sweltering and pungent with sweat. Bits and pieces of conversation overpowered Leah's silence as she lithely made her way toward the counter, avoiding elbows and trying not to push back when some drunken asshole decided to run into her. Her eyes scanned the room as she walked, and her ears could pick up every lyric of an overplayed song filtering from speakers, fighting for space among the noise.

It wasn't the most savory of places, but it served its purpose. And it never failed her.

Leah's breath escaped her in a grateful puff when she finally made it to the bar, discovering her stool still empty and her half-empty glass resting where she left it. She slid gracefully onto the seat, lightly running the pad of her thumb across her bottom lip before leaning one elbow lightly on the counter.

As her chin came to a rest on the top of her knuckles, it only took a moment for her eyes to meet the bartender's.

She didn't miss the flash in them, the phantom bit of judgment she always saw when there was still enough night left for another drink or two.

Eyes jerking toward the marbled counter, Leah took a deep breath, steeling herself on the inside. Refusing to feel anything. Locking down the flicker of self-remorse she felt deep in the corners of her stomach, at the hands of one of the few people in that city she could call friend.

A chuckle formed in her throat, but Leah swallowed instead, refusing to release it. _Friend_. He was paid to be friendly, and even she couldn't deny how ridiculous it sounded.

When she finally looked up, the shadow in his eyes was gone, replaced by a neutral fondness she'd come to expect.

"Thought we'd lost you there for a minute," Kyle called out above the din, grinning at her as he swiped a bar towel across the inside of a glass he was holding. Winking at her, he turned and placed the glass on the shelf.

The twisting in her stomach gone, Leah adjusted herself on the leather barstool, a cutting smirk working its way across her lips. Crossing her right leg over the left, her fingers trembled slightly against copper skin, glowing beneath the room's faint light. Accentuating it in contrast to the dress she wore.

"I was only gone fifteen minutes," she muttered, throwing a glance at the clock above the bar before cocking one skeptical eyebrow in Kyle's direction.

"Touché," Kyle agreed, clearing his throat when he bent to snag a beer out of the cooler for another patron, muscles involuntarily flexing beneath his black t-shirt. "I kept your seat warm for you. Made sure no one stole it while you were...occupied."

Even though a part of her liked Kyle, she bristled inside. She was a regular there, and the...benefits she reaped from the frequency of her visits also were no secret to him. It was his job to be observant, and he didn't miss a thing.

But he also asked too many questions. Questions about her life. Questions about her past. Questions about what, like clockwork, led her there at least three times a week.

Questions she never answered.

Which didn't matter because she had a feeling he already knew the answers.

Because he was her first.

The first to feel the smooth flesh of his back pressed against the cool bathroom wall, inexplicably trapped beneath hands and a body more powerful than his. The first one in a town far from home to touch her, to taste her burning skin. To make a dead heart feel _something_ as it pushed blazing warmth through every vein in her body.

The first to hear words not meant for him as they fumbled their way from her lips.

After that night, it never happened again. Neither mentioned it, but she could feel the questions even when he didn't ask. Night after night, drink after drink, the heaviness in his eyes grew with an admonishment – _a concern _– he had no right to feel. An opinion she wasn't interested in.

But that didn't mean she didn't feel it too.

Still, she was good at ignoring it. She was good at pushing it away.

Because what she did worked. It put a bandage on a wound she would give anything to forget.

Even if the cure was only temporary.

Leah blinked, clearing the haze from her mind, her vision focusing on the bar in front of her. "Thanks," she replied quietly, curling her fingers around her glass, the condensation causing her hand to slide up it. Bringing it to her mouth, she closed her lips around the straw, drawing the cool liquid through it while her eyes did a quick scan of the space around her.

Turning back to the bar, Kyle was suddenly in front of her, one corner of his mouth curled slightly as he wiped off the counter, cleaning up the slippery mess left by her glass. "Need me to call a cab or you sticking around for awhile?"

Placing the drink on the fresh napkin he left for her, Leah ran one hand through her long, ebony hair, casting a glance over her shoulder. Her eyes bounced from face to face, table to table, looking. Waiting to see.

She didn't have to wait long, moments later her gaze locking with a dull but magnetic pair of green eyes.

The corner of her lip twitched, the start of a cunning smile, eyes holding the man's stare. A brief invitation. Her heart pounded silently in her ears with each passing second. _One...two...three_, before she dropped her gaze, shifting in her chair and turning her back on the stranger.

Setting the trap.

She kept waiting, even though she could hear the man moving behind her, the erratic rhythm of a crowd disrupted when he stepped back from the table.

It was an instinct she never lost, no matter how far she distanced herself from it.

She was being hunted.

She could feel it – the eyes on her, the movements each one made when they approached her. She could smell it in the air, a matter of chemistry she didn't understand but something she could detect all the same.

Fighting the urge to close her eyes – to succumb to some fucked up, inherent need to submit – Leah focused on something else. The eyes in front of her, even though she could still feel it. A heady high that always came during pursuit. The moment before she took control and kept the power and control where it belonged.

With her.

_Always_ with her.

Kyle was watching her skeptically, one eyebrow cocked in stunned amazement. He'd seen it all. Her smile fell, and the swell of something in her gut changed to ice for a split second, her eyes bearing down unforgivingly on the bartender.

"I'll keep your tab open," he murmured before disappearing, leaving the spot in front of her unoccupied.

By that point though, it didn't matter. Her boiling blood, pulsing through her veins, overtook the bartender's veiled disappointment, setting her nerves on fire just before she felt a cooler, thicker arm brush the flesh of hers.

Taking a deep breath, she relaxed her mouth. She focused, letting the corners rise in the faintest of smiles.

Turning her head, she looked up. Finding the same green eyes and a cookie-cutter smirk peering down from beside her.

And it was gone.

The throbbing buzz in her veins had disappeared.

The hunt was over.

It was textbook, really.

_And easier than ever._

A vicious and inexplicable resentment bubbled in her stomach, but she swallowed it down with a deep breath. Blinking, Leah kept her eyes on the man beside her. This one was different than the last. Shorter. Darker hair. A narrow nose resting below those emerald eyes. Eyebrows that knit close together, framing them.

It wasn't over.

There was much more to come.

It was child's play really. Predictable, the way he fell into her game. It wasn't even a challenge, and the agitation that scratched at her insides flared again.

_Let this one serve his purpose too_, she reminded herself stoically. Like a mantra she wouldn't allow herself to forget._ And then you can leave him like you're supposed to._

She'd forgotten exactly how it had come to this.

How that belief seemed to be one of the few things that got her through her days.

The smirk was still there when she threw her full attention back to Emerald Eyes.

"See something you like?"

Leah cringed inwardly at his voice, the not-so-subtle suggestion dripping from it. She fought the urge to grimace, instead replacing it with a passive, sly smile.

"Guess that all depends on how hard a girl has to work to get a new drink around here."

He chuckled a deep, rumbling laugh before pulling a twenty out of his pocket. His eyes abandoned her long enough to locate Kyle and flag him back to her end of the bar. Once Kyle had taken his money, he turned those eyes back on Leah.

"So..."

The conversation was almost always mandatory, and it took everything inside Leah to act interested, pretending she cared about these men and their lives. This one was a personal trainer at a gym in Lake Forest. He was twenty-nine years old, grew up in a small town in Minnesota, and moved to the city as soon as he turned eighteen. He never once paused to ask about her, and Leah fed into it by fixing a rapt gaze on him as he talked, interjecting at the right moments, and laughing when the words called for it.

It would be about him until it wasn't, but letting him believe it would be was important. Necessary.

It assured she got the best out of them. Every single time.

The deal was pretty much sealed, and she knew it the moment he reached out, eyes affixed to her lips, his fingers trailing down the length of her copper cheek.

_Two. _

The voice in the back of her head was prominent, fighting for space with the feel of his cool fingers against her skin. It had been a long time since she'd had two in one night, and it should have disgusted her. It should have made her stop.

But it didn't.

Her fingers reached up, eyes following when they curled around the fabric of his t-shirt. She'd gone this far, and once she reached this point, there was no going back. There was no stopping.

She tugged. The smirk was back, and her head tilted back as he bent over her.

As she begged her heart to beat.

"Leah?"

She froze.

She _stopped_, and so did the man hovering over her.

Even though her eyes were still affixed to his, she couldn't see them. She barely noticed as her mind raced, as his bounced over her shoulder, trying to find the source of the voice that said her name. Trying to figure out who was trying to piss on the tree he'd already marked.

But it didn't matter. _He_ didn't matter, especially as the voice filtered through her mind, registering in a place she'd tucked away. A place she kept hidden. A place she never visited.

It was close.

It was familiar.

_Too_ familiar.

As much as Leah wanted to turn around and tell the owner of the voice to go fuck himself, it was the familiarity in it that stopped her. A knowing knot in her stomach forming as the hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention.

_The softness of it._

One she hadn't heard in so long. Practically an apparition, but one she'd recognize anywhere.

Not the one she'd ran away from, but one she'd left behind all the same.

And her heart _pounded_.

Which is why she understood what came next, even though it should have made no fucking sense.

A frenetic energy – a need to know – thrummed beneath her skin, and she felt her head turning toward her shoulder. To look behind her. To see to whom the voice belonged. She needed to know, even if she was right. Or, God willing, if she was wrong.

Leah wasn't wrong.

And she suddenly couldn't breathe.

Her mouth fell open when she located him a few feet away, standing at the corner of the bar. Watching her with awe and shock, almost like he'd seen a ghost.

He may as well have.

And as her mouth dried and she blinked in disbelief, tearing this person apart with skeptical eyes, she may as well have too.

Because she could feel it. He wasn't supposed to be here. In _her_ city. In _her_ bar. So far from home. So far from what she left behind.

With a single glance, she could feel the past six years slipping away. Dissolving faster than she could comprehend. Crumbling around her as a past she'd ran from, a symbol of it, literally stood three feet from her.

"Oh, god..."

The words were choked, barely audible, and she knew no one could hear them. He could though, and that was all that mattered.

Seeing him in front of her stirred up something inside her she hated. His tousled ebony hair fell over his forehead, almost shrouding one of the darker eyes attached to her. Copper arms that matched hers leaned against the bar, and she could see the dark ink, the bottom markings of the tattoo on his right bicep.

One that matched hers.

One she never talked about when people asked her what it meant.

And she didn't know how, but he'd changed. He seemed different. Six years had added a firmness to his jaw, a natural maturity to his features that she'd never noticed before. One that only time could give.

This wasn't the same person she knew when she left home.

But in some ways he _was_ still the same.

Those eyes were the same.

They were the same pair she looked into the night he pulled over to pick her up off the side of the road, soaked to the bone from walking in the rain to God knows where.

The night before she left.

The same pair that bled with pity the moment before he pulled her into his arms, after she told him how the man that made her this way had asked for his ring back to give to someone else.

After she'd done something from which there was no going back. Something she could have avoided had she been stronger. Had she not allowed herself to be weak.

If she had left first.

A visceral shudder ripped up her spine, and she closed her eyes, hoping when she opened them, he would be gone.

But he wasn't.

If he noticed the disappointment on her features, he didn't let her know.

"Holy shit," he murmured, his full lips pulling into a smile as he pushed away from the bar, squeezing behind the woman next to him. Approaching her. As he drew closer, Leah could feel herself leaning away from him. She only stopped when she felt her back hit the chest of Emerald Eyes behind her.

"Leah? What the hell are you doing here?" Before she could respond or protest, she was pulled from her stool, shaky feet hitting the floor when a pair of blazing arms – a heat that matched her own – wrapped tightly around her. Squeezing, almost like he had no plans to let her go now that he'd found her.

While he may have changed, Embry Call's arms were exactly as she remembered them.

But she didn't return his embrace. Her arms fell loosely at her sides before she decided to pull away, placing her palms on his biceps and pushing. Ignoring the miffed grumbles from behind her. She had to, because that wasn't who she was anymore. She wasn't the same stupid girl she'd been then.

She didn't need those arms now.

She didn't want him here.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," she replied curtly. "A little far from La Push, aren't you?"

Embry looked taken aback, blinking in surprise. "Nice to see you too, Leah."

His eyes were calling her out now, asking questions she didn't want to answer, so she looked away. "Why are you here, Embry?" she repeated.

He paused before forcing a smile, his eyes averting hers for a moment when he nodded. "I'm here for work," he replied, taking a small step back and shoving his hands in his pockets. "You're pretty much the last person I expected to run into while I was here though..."

He didn't know where she lived. None of them knew where she lived. She made it a point not to tell anyone when she left, and those who did know had been sworn to secrecy. She hadn't told them to avoid this. To avoid visits from people – from a life – that was no longer a part of her.

When she didn't answer, replying only with an expectant stare, Embry swallowed again. But his eyes softened by a fraction.

"So do you live here?" He paused, his expression earnest yet hesitant. "Is this where you've been the past six years?"

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Leah nodded tightly, unable to think of a way to deny it now that he was standing in front of her. "Yup...you found me."

Embry blinked, a flash of concern rippling across his features. "Does anyone else know you're here?"

A defensive fire licked at her insides and Leah felt herself bristle, taking a step forward before she could think twice. "My family knows, but no one else..." She released her arm, reaching out and jabbing Embry's chest with her index finger. "And that's how it's going to stay, Call. I've managed to lay low this whole time, and I plan on keeping it that way. I have a life here and I don't want anyone from home ruining it."

Gaping, Embry held his hands up in defense. "Hey...your secret's safe with me, if that's how you want it."

Hesitating, Leah took a step back, smoothing her dress with clammy palms. "Good," she murmured.

She wished he would just go away, but he didn't. Instead, he watched her, intense eyes focused on her face as she stood her ground. Refusing to look away first.

"So how've you been, Leah? It's been a long time..."

"I'm great." The words left her mouth before she could question them. "Never better, actually."

Embry nodded, leaning to one side to let an anonymous bar patron past him. "That's good to hear. Your mom said you were good. That you started over somewhere, but...I still wondered. We _all_ did."

Leah's blood simmered, her mind jumping to unproven conclusions. Assuming the worst as her brain frantically searched for a better explanation as to why this man was standing in front of her. Why, after six years, he was suddenly there. It didn't make sense. It didn't add up.

"Did he send you?"

Embry grimaced. "What? Leah, I told you...I'm here for work."

"Yeah, that's what you _said_," she grumbled, once again crossing her arms in front of her. "But did he send you?"

Taking a deep breath, Embry released it with a sigh, a disappointed expression pulling at his lips. "_No_, he didn't send me. As far as I know, he has no idea you're here."

"Well, somehow _you_ managed to find me..."

Embry's lips pursed in a thin line, a gesture veiling his disappointment. "Dumb luck, I guess."

"I guess..." Her voice drifted off, and she shifted uncomfortably beneath the scrutiny of his stare. A feeling she wasn't used to.

A feeling she needed to get away from.

"Well, I was just on my way out," she ventured hurriedly, looking to her left and finding her clutch on the edge of the bar. Reaching out, she took it between quick fingers before turning back to the man in front of her. She didn't bother to check on Emerald Eyes. She didn't even know if he was still standing there. To be truthful, a larger part of her didn't give a fuck if he was.

Embry's head bobbed in acknowledgement before he drew in a sharp breath. "Listen, I'm going to be here for a couple weeks actually. We should get together while I'm here. Catch up." The tone in his voice was concerned, hopeful.

Leah's face screwed up as she tucked her clutch between her arm and body. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Expression falling in dismay, she watched Embry's shoulders rise and fall with a heavy breath. "Leah..."

"It was good seeing you, Embry."

And with a nod, she pushed past him, barely avoiding two small, blonde girls standing in her way.

Leaving behind Embry, his god damned compassionate eyes, and a past that no matter how far she ran, somehow always managed to find her.

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_**Woohoo for chapter 1! :)**_

_**So lots of loose ends and unanswered questions. Everything will become clearer in subsequent chapters, so stick around, maybe? See how it all plays out? ;) **_

_**Feedback is always appreciated. So let me know what you think – I'm betting I can get chapter 2 out quicker than anticipated... :D**_


	2. Leave

___**Disclaimer: **__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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_**Suggested Listening: "I Gave You All" by Mumford & Sons, "Infinity" by The xx, "Wolves" by Fossil Collective, "Fate" by Lydia, "Over The Love" by Florence + The Machine**_

**Six Years Earlier**

_Leah kept her eyes trained on the ground, feet sinking into the mud as a crack of thunder ripped from the clouds above her, shaking her soaked frame to its core._

_But she didn't stop. Feet pressed on along the side of the road. She didn't look for shelter. Instead, she viciously pushed the rainwater from her eyes, ignoring the cold deluge enveloping her trembling body. Brushing moisture from steaming skin long before it could evaporate._

_She knew where she was, but had no idea where she was going._

_It didn't really matter. The emptiness in her chest – the regret – screamed with each step she took, throbbing with an intensity she wouldn't have thought possible. Telling her to get away. Telling her to leave._

_Just like he had._

_A loud, maniacal laugh slipped from her lips as she tightened her grip around her frame._

_Leave._

_She didn't need to leave._

_He'd already left her._

_And she'd never seen it coming. _

_There was nothing she could have done to stop it, at least that's what he told her. Just after he spoke the words that would take him away from her indefinitely._

_Just before Leah caught a glimpse of _her_, standing on the front porch, peeking timidly through the frail screen door._

_Just before Leah ruined everything._

_But first, she screamed at him, the anger rolling off her limbs in primal, unforgiving waves. Pushing her palms through her hair, she stood in front of him, barely managing to control the rage threatening to tear her body apart. She screamed of regret. She hit him, her fists pounding against his chest. She told him she should have known better. That she should have left him before he left her. Before fate intervened and took the only thing she had left away from her._

_But she hadn't. She hadn't because she was stupid. Because she was naive for thinking it wouldn't happen to them. That it wouldn't happen to him._

_She tried to leave, but it was too late. She stayed too long, allowing the anger to boil over._

_It wasn't soon enough. Not before..._

_Leah brought the heels of her hands to her face, digging them into her eyes, her teeth gritting together to suppress another scream. It was in her head. His words, the look on his face, the look on her face._

_Even though her legs were weak beneath her, Leah kept moving. Each one grew heavy, bare feet caked with mud, but she refused to go any other way. She couldn't do it. Not then. Maybe not ever._

_She ignored the sound of a truck approaching. She paid no mind to it slowing down beside her, to the unmistakable squeak of a window being lowered. To her name being called, not quite carried away by the sound of sweeping rain..._

_._

Leah blinked, the Chicago skyline coming back into focus through the glass of her office window. She looked down, realizing it was the pen between her fingers, its cap against the desk the cause of the obnoxious thumping noise that brought her out of her memories.

Her phone was ringing too, but she couldn't answer it. Not yet. Not right now.

It had been years since she dreamed about home. Years since the memory of that night haunted her sleep, jarring her awake just in time to feel the scream building in her throat. Just in time to swallow it down, to untwist herself from damp sheets, and spend the next several hours staring at the lights from outside as they danced across the ceiling of her bedroom.

It had been years, and she knew why it happened last night. All it took was one reminder – one face intricately woven in those memories – to bring it front and center.

Embry Call.

When she left La Push, the small Native American reservation of her people – the Quileute Tribe – she had nothing tying him to her. Nothing that should have mattered. He was still a kid when she left...all of them were. Someone she'd known her entire life. Seeing his face shouldn't have brought on an assault of memories she tried every day and night to bury, but it did. He was enough. Who he was, what he had done, what he stood for, who he knew. What he was a part of.

Who he reminded her of.

And seeing him had been too fucking much. Even now. Even after all these years...it was too much.

She got out of bed that morning, eyes heavy with the sleep that evaded her. Still, she pushed through it, moving robotically through her one-bedroom loft in Chicago's Bucktown neighborhood. Taxi horns blared from outside, and she could make out the faint music coming from the newspaper stand on the sidewalk near the door to her building.

They were sounds she was used to, ones in which she sought solace. The bustle of the city reminding her that no matter how she felt, she had to push it down. She had to keep moving.

She wasn't going to let one freak encounter from her past unhinge her or undo the life she'd built here. To undo everything she'd spent the last six years trying to forget.

_Trying..._

Still, a part of her wondered why he was here. What had brought him all the way to Chicago? How much had changed in six years? He'd told her the trip was for work, and a part of her still suspected there was more to it.

She also couldn't help but wonder how his life had evolved...how _everyone's_ lives had. Her mother knew better than to tell her. Even though their calls were few and far between, Sue Clearwater knew better than to speak of anyone other than her and Leah's brother, Seth. Leah's father had passed away about a year before she left, which meant there was never much to talk about. Five minutes would pass and it would be three months before she'd hear from her mother again.

A lot had changed for her, but she hadn't stuck around the bar the night before to tell Embry how much. She didn't tell him how she'd ended up in Chicago after she left home, moving into an overcrowded studio apartment with three other girls after answering an ad on Craigslist. Hating it, because she was never very good at making friends. A month later, she had a job waitressing at a burger joint in Wrigleyville and was enrolled for the fall semester at Northwestern, provided her grant and loan applications went through.

Leah ignored what she left behind. Counted her blessings where she could find them, and decided it was time to start over. By herself. Putting the past behind her. Relying on no one.

On the surface, she was able to. She made it through all four years of college with flying colors, graduating with honors and a degree in public relations. An internship at a large Chicago PR firm her senior year landed her a job right out of college. One with a generous salary that finally allowed her to ditch her flighty roommate and rent her own place.

But beneath the good job, the spacious, modern apartment, and the college degree, things weren't so in line. The puzzle pieces didn't fit so neatly together, and no one saw it. No one knew the truth of it quite as well as she did.

An impatient knocking brought Leah out of her reflection, her head jerking toward the door to her office. Autumn Gallagher, her assistant, was leaning against the doorframe, her fist resting against it and her emerald eyes peering at her over thick, red-framed glasses.

Autumn was one of the few people in Chicago she might consider a friend. She was only three years younger than Leah and outwardly was her complete opposite. Autumn was short and skinny, her frame consistently adorned with mismatched, vintage clothing she found at secondhand stores, and her cropped hair changed colors at least once a month.

However, inside Autumn was full of fire, opinions, and a passion that reminded Leah of herself. Reminding her they were a lot more alike than any stranger would assume.

Leah took a deep breath, finally dropping the pen on the desk and focusing her gaze on her assistant. "Need something, Autumn?"

Autumn cocked a knowing eyebrow. "I have Tony McIntire on the phone. He said he's tried to call you twice and you're not picking up your phone, so he decided to call me instead."

Sighing, Leah ran a quick hand through her hair. Tony McIntire was one of her high-profile clients, a football player who couldn't seem to keep his name out of the news – or his cock where it belonged, for that matter. He was rich, beautiful and a chauvinist asshole, but his forays kept both Leah and everyone at the firm with jobs.

"Did you tell him I'd call him when I got a moment?" Leah asked expectantly, pulling her laptop toward her and swiping her finger across the mouse pad, watching as her email account appeared on the monitor.

Autumn reached up, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with one hand and clutching the stack of paperwork tighter to her chest with the other. "You do know who I'm talking about here, right?"

A smile pulled at the corner of Leah's mouth. "Did he forget the world only revolves around him on Tuesdays and Thursdays?" she quipped, barely looking up from her laptop as she typed out a response email to another client. "Since it's Friday, you should tell him this week doesn't look promising."

Her fingers finished the last word before she looked back to Autumn, who was peering at Leah skeptically beneath a fringe of crimson bangs. That time Leah grinned, clasping her hands and resting her chin on her knuckles.

"Was he that insistent?"

"Oh, he _insisted_," Autumn retorted sarcastically, her eyes rolling and her face screwing up as she said it.

With a sigh, Leah leaned back in her chair, throwing another glance out the window. In most cases, she refused to do business on weekends. Usually she had other plans. Plans that didn't involve crisis management and press releases. Plans that she desperately needed tonight.

But this client easily paid her rent most months, and with a barely audible groan, she knew she'd make an exception this time.

"Ugh, fine," she grumbled, swiveling her chair as Autumn pushed herself off the doorframe with her shoulder, nodding with a grateful smile.

"Thank god," she replied, throwing her head back in exasperation. "I don't think I can handle that jackass calling me Princess one more time."

Leah chuckled, the sound foreign considering everything on her mind. Still, it was a facade she had to keep in place. "You get used to it after awhile," she murmured, although sometimes she desperately had to keep herself in check around the man. It had been a show of faith from her supervisors when they'd given him to her to manage and she knew what it meant for her professionally if she proved herself worthy of it.

"I will never get used to it," Autumn argued blandly, even though a smile spread across her lips. She paused, and while Leah expected her to turn around and head back to her desk, she lingered. Watching Leah, a look of concern flickering across her pronounced features.

Lifting an eyebrow, Leah looked back to her assistant. "Did you need something else?" she asked bluntly.

Autumn took a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling with the movement. "You look sad..."

The question caught Leah off guard, even if Autumn's concern did not. Since the two were pretty much the only females in the office under thirty, Autumn had tried fruitlessly to build some semblance of friendship with the other woman. Leah really did like her, but she wasn't interested in being friends. Even at twenty-seven years old, she was _still_ no good at it.

Friends liked to pry. Friends liked to ask questions.

Leah didn't welcome either.

Which is what caused her to bristle slightly at Autumn's regard.

"Isn't Tony still on the phone?" Leah asked steadily.

Autumn's eyes fell before bouncing back up. "He can wait. Are you sleeping okay, Lee? You know, if you ever want to talk..." She hesitated, tentatively testing the waters. When Leah didn't respond, she backpedaled. "Or go to lunch or something...to talk, if you want to."

Taking a deep breath of her own, Leah knew she wasn't hiding her horrible night and its side effects very well, so she let an overly genuine, polite smile spread across her lips, focusing it on Autumn. "I'm fine...really. You don't need to worry."

"But I do," Autumn interjected, finally taking a step away from the doorframe. "You work too much, and you know, Chicago's a great city. There's a lot more to love here than your job. You gotta get out, girl. Have a life. Have some fun. Meet people."

Leah held her breath, bits and pieces of the night before filtering through Autumn's words. Of her back pressed against a bathroom stall, cold hands on her hips. A signature smirk, followed by fingers trailed along her jawline.

She had fun. She met people.

Even if it was in her own way, and even if it wasn't much of a life. It was still hers, and it did for her what it needed to.

This time though, Leah relaxed her features but steeled her eyes, focusing them on her assistant. Letting Autumn know the conversation was over.

"Tell Tony I'll meet him at seven tonight. He can pick the place."

* * *

Heels echoed loudly on marble as Leah walked through the lobby of the Park Hyatt Hotel in downtown Chicago.

She stopped in the middle of the space, looking around and scanning the area before checking her watch. _7:05 p.m_. She was a little late, but normally Tony showed up anywhere from fifteen to thirty minutes behind schedule, so it didn't faze her. Taking a deep breath, Leah pushed a strand of ebony hair behind her ear before turning to her right and walking toward the hotel lounge.

Much to her surprise, Tony was already waiting for her, tucked into a corner table, impatiently checking his own watch.

Throwing her purse onto her shoulder, Leah smoothed her simple black sheath dress with her palms before starting toward him.

If she hadn't detested the man so much, a part of Leah might have been attracted to the twenty-something football player. He was tall and broad, sculpted muscles always strategically peeking out from beneath the sleeves of his t-shirt. His jaw and features were chiseled, and the cocky smile he constantly wore on his lips was the kind that made women weak in the knees and think twice about turning away.

But even if she sometimes fell victim to the same charm that often landed the man in trouble, this one was off-limits because _he_ was business, and she never mixed business with the whirlwind of her personal life.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," Tony grinned when he saw Leah approaching the table. "Nice to see you, Princess."

Leah fought the urge to roll her eyes, chewing on the inside of her lip instead while offering him a fake, cordial smile. "How long's it been, Tony? Three weeks? Couldn't keep your dick in your pants any longer than that?"

"Ouch," he mumbled, bringing his hand up and rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes never left her though, even as she slid into the chair directly across the table from him. As she placed her purse on the floor, she noticed the man already had a glass of red wine waiting for her – the only thing she drank in this kind of setting. The wine did nothing for her.

"You're early tonight," she quipped, reaching out to take the wine glass between her fingers.

"And you're late," Tony retorted, leaning forward, his forearms pressed against the table.

"You got a date tonight? Or is it another prostitute?"

Tony chuckled, her jab barely making a dent in his over-inflated ego. "Touché, Princess."

"So care to tell me why I'm here then?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and leaning back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other. She didn't miss how Tony's eyes watched her, mapping the contour of her thigh peeking out from her dress, following it as it arched gracefully over her knee.

Blinking, Tony tore his gaze from her flesh, finally finding her eyes. "It's the ex again. She's trying to get more alimony out of me, so she's called up her blogger friends at the Sun-Times, claiming I slept around on her when I was on the road the season before the divorce."

Swishing the dry wine around her tongue, Leah swallowed, her expression unchanging. "Did you?"

"Don't see how that matters... The divorce is over."

"You know the drill, Tony. Even if the courts don't care, the papers will. I need to know what I'm working with here."

Tony sighed, his shoulders lifting in a half-shrug. "Meh...maybe once or twice."

Leah scoffed, shaking her head and allowing a knowing smile to spread. "You can't ever make this easy for me, can you?"

"Just getting my money's worth, Princess."

Sighing, Leah leaned forward, grabbing her phone off the mahogany table.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked.

"Emailing your ex's blogger friends at the Sun-Times," Leah answered quickly, not looking up as the pads of her fingers flew across the phone's keyboard.

"You're outstanding, you know that?"

Leah snorted. "Just making sure you get your money's worth, big shot."

She hated how his laugh sent a shiver up her spine.

"Worth every fucking penny."

By the time Leah set the phone back on the table, Tony's crystal blue eyes watched her, rotating his glass of scotch between thick fingers. Tilting her head to one side, she raised her eyebrows, urging him to speak.

"You know, you should use that phone and call me sometime... or pick up the phone when I call you."

"I think you're missing the point of my job, Tony," Leah replied, taking another sip of wine. "My job is to keep you out of trouble, not get you into more."

He smirked. "So are you telling me you're trouble?"

But Leah barely heard him.

Instead, her eyes were focused to the right, burning holes through a familiar figure. A head of raven hair and a tall, lean frame she recognized the second her gaze was pulled to that side of the lounge.

_How in the hell?_

He was leaning against the bar, talking to the female bartender, whose obvious grin and batting eyelashes made Leah sick to her stomach. It was a look she knew well, one that graced the faces of women back home who couldn't seem to keep their attention away from the company Leah once kept.

Yet, in that moment, Leah didn't give a shit about the woman. All she could feel was the anger, a furious resentment bubbling in her stomach as she found herself leaning to the right and snatching her purse from its resting place.

"So I'll get to work on that release, and I'll let you know if I hear back from the Sun-Times. But first thing Monday, you need to make a statement." Her words were rehearsed, scripted, ones she knew by heart. "I will call you tomorrow with the details, okay?"

"Leaving so soon?"

Leah nodded furiously, still not affording Tony a glance as she watched the figure at the bar straighten. She had to get there first, before he left. To find out why he was there. Why he in front of her.

_Again._

Closing her eyes was the only way to distract herself. Her insides twisted, fighting the instinct deep down, until she finally turned her head. Facing Tony as her eyelids lifted.

"Yes. I will call you tomorrow. And drinks are on me."

Without so much as another word, Leah pushed her chair back and rose from the table, her steps purposeful as she made her way toward the bar and left her client sitting at the table.

Leah's heart pounded as she approached the bar, pulsing in her ears, overshadowing the sound of her heels on the floor. Her skin crawled with an unfamiliar sensation, one she hadn't felt so long.

Her body responding to a threat.

She knew he could hear her coming – that if he paid attention, he would know it was her – but he made no move to turn around. To acknowledge her.

And for some inexplicable reason, it grated at her nerves.

She didn't greet him. Didn't say hello, instead approaching the bar, her feet stopping directly beside him as her fiery gaze caught the doe-eyed glance of the bartender.

"Can I get Mr. McIntire's check, please?"

The bartender's eyes widened before nodding wildly, taking a step back before turning to the cash register. In that moment, Leah could feel him turn as well, his eyes now focused solely on her. She swore she could hear the shift in his pulse, but that was it. There was nothing else.

And when he finally spoke, she had to swallow back the fire in her throat when she heard the smile in his voice.

"We gotta stop meeting like this..."

Clenching her jaw, Leah tore her eyes from the back of the bartender's head, her stare fixed directly on him.

"Are you following me?"

Embry's eyebrows rose in genuine surprise. "_Following_ you? Are you serious?"

Leah gritted her teeth. "Twice in less than twenty-four hours? I don't see you for six years, and now I've seen you twice in one day? Don't fucking play coy with me, Embry Call..."

And then he laughed at her.

He _laughed at her_.

"Jesus, Leah...living in the city has made you paranoid."

But she didn't budge, holding his stare until his smile faded and the jovial laughter disappeared from his eyes. A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned one elbow against the bar, his eyes still not leaving hers.

"No, I am not following you," he replied determinedly. "I'm staying here while I'm in town."

Leah raised an incredulous eyebrow, the revelation surprising her. "The Park Hyatt? Really? A little swanky for La Push, Washington, no?" The words were aloof, even for her.

Brow furrowing, the corners of Embry's mouth turned into a frown. "Nice. Good to see the city's turned you into a snob, too."

The comment pricked at Leah's insides, red appearing in her eyes at his sideways judgment. Gritting her teeth, she tore her gaze from his, finding the credit card slip in front of her and grabbing the pen the bartender left for her. With a flick of her wrist, she scrawled her signature across the line before tossing the pen back on the bar.

She barely glanced at Embry before turning on her heel, fingers curling around the purse strap resting on her shoulder. Affording him no goodbyes as she strode purposefully from the lounge toward the lobby.

It didn't matter. She could feel him following her and hear his muted footsteps on the marble floor behind her, even if he didn't call out. It didn't matter. He was still there.

And he wasn't letting her leave.

Her steps picked up speed as she hit the glass door, pushing it open until a burst of warm summer air hit her face. The sounds of the city assaulted Leah's ears, and she narrowly missed colliding with a passer-by as she headed toward the curb.

When her arm lifted to hail a taxi, she was surprised when she felt a quick, deft hand curl around her wrist.

_Blazing fingers..._

Suddenly reeling, Leah easily twisted out of his grasp, facing Embry. He stood next to her, fingers still outstretched.

"Hey," he finally spoke, his voice soft and regretful, and Leah was surprised when she let her hand rest at her side. When she let his eyes hold her for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she mumbled, finally ripping her gaze from his. Knowing that in reality he had nothing to be sorry for.

"Listen, Leah," he pressed on, and she could hear the sounds of his shoes shuffling against the concrete sidewalk. "We got off to a bad start, and I'm not sure why...but I can promise you, I didn't come here on anyone's orders. I didn't come here to find you, if that's what you think."

"Then why are you still standing here?" she snapped, shooting a quick look at him, long enough to see a grimace flash across his features. Long enough for a small part of her to regret her words.

But he didn't miss a beat.

"Because maybe things have changed for you, but I'm still not the guy who walks away from a friend. Not unless you tell me to..."

Her stomach wrenched, the words accompanying a memory that had come to her the night before during bouts of fitful sleep. His words rattled her, squeezing at something deep inside. Something not forgotten, but something she tried not to think about...

Shaking her head, she blinked rapidly, pursing her lips in forced defiance. "I have plenty of friends," she lied, pushing a piece of windswept hair from her eyes. "I'm not really interested in revisiting old ones."

She could see him nod out of the corner of her eye. "Fair enough. But how about you humor me...," he pressed on tentatively, taking a step so he was better positioned in her field of vision. "Have dinner with me."

With a sigh, she gave up, finally lifting her gaze to meet his.

Holding it long enough for his earlier words to register somewhere inside her. To dredge up another memory, one burned in the back of her mind despite the time and the distance...

_The warmth of arms around her. His breath moving through her hair, mouth whispering comforting words she didn't want to hear..._

It had refused to fade throughout the day she was trying to leave behind, but it was enough. Enough to remember that deep down, she knew. He had always been a little better than the others. That he had always, for whatever unknown reason, been kind to her.

And she owed him more than the way she'd been treating him, even if it killed her to admit it.

Because it made her feel indebted to him.

It made her feel weak, and she hated it.

"I don't do dinner," she murmured quietly, eyes trying to look away.

One corner of his mouth turned upward in a half-smile when he shoved his hands in his pockets. "So you don't eat?"

"You know what I mean..." Leah crossed her arms in front of her chest before bringing her eyes back to him, trying to project sincerity, even though the insistence in his was wearing down a part of her that never allowed these things to happen in the first place.

"Listen," he pressed on, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "You don't even have to talk if you don't want to. You eat...I'll talk. I'll tell you why I'm here. Why La Push is staying at the Park Hyatt in Chicago these days."

The corner of her mouth fought a smile, his words a sign of forgiveness. An amicable, kind gesture despite her hostility toward him and his ties to her past.

_You owe him more than this._

But that was the thing...it was a truth that only fueled her reasoning behind turning him down.

She didn't want him to know about her life here. How she lived it.

Or the kind of person she had turned into, unlike the one he'd tried to help so many years ago.

The silence hung heavily between them until Embry let out a rough breath. "Okay, how about this..." She was still watching him, the new confidence in him – a subtle stubbornness she wasn't used to – faltering for a moment. Watching as the boy she remembered flashed across his features. "If we make it to dessert and you're still having a good time, I'll leave you alone. Plus, since I'm only here for a couple weeks, you'll probably get your way regardless. Deal?"

Leah's jaw tightened as she considered it, as she fought her better judgment. As she considered flagging a taxi and getting the hell out of there while she still could.

But he wasn't going to give up, and he had said it himself. If she gave him what he wanted, he'd leave her alone. Embry would go back to La Push. She could go back to her life and he would take the memories with him.

It was a small price, and all she would have to do was for one night pretend to be the Leah Clearwater he remembered.

Even if she had no idea how to be that person anymore.

"Fine!" she finally exclaimed, the word drawing out a smile before she could think. Before she could stop it. She raised an eyebrow at him. "When?"

"Tomorrow night?"

Releasing a defeated sigh, Leah nodded, letting her purse slide from her shoulder long enough to reach in and pull out her business card. She handed it to Embry, the small square of cardstock shaking slightly between her fingers.

It took a moment but eventually Embry reached up, taking it from her grip. His eyes lowered, scanning the card, fighting another smile as his eyes traveled over the words. She waited for the questions. The comments. The curiosity.

But they never came.

Leah's lips parted, still waiting before she blinked, her head searching for words to fill the space. "Call me tomorrow. I'll let you know where I make a reservation."

Taking a step back, Embry nodded, thumbs still hitched in his jeans pockets.

"_Now_ will you go away?" she added for good measure, asking him that time, the tone a little too cutting as she lifted her arm to hail a cab.

Embry held his breath, a small, sad smile still resting on his lips before he eventually sighed. Almost like he was missing the brief truce that had passed between them. "Going." He threw a glance back to the hotel, widening the gap between them as he took another step.

"Okay," she agreed hurriedly, keeping her eye on the taxi as it pulled over to the side of the road. Watching him in her peripheral vision as he took a step back.

_Just go away_, she wished silently.

"See you tomorrow, Leah."

His voice was distant as she reached for the door handle of the stopped taxi. As she opened the door and swooped into its back seat without so much as another word.

Except for two, pounding inside her head. Thrumming through her veins.

Go away.

_Go away..._

.

"_Go away, Embry."_

"_Leah..." The truck moved at a snail's pace, keeping up with her sluggish movements. Through the pouring rain she could see him, leaning over the seat toward the window, one hand gripping the wheel. Eyes pleading with her to stop walking. "Get in the damn truck."_

"_Go the fuck away!" she screamed, head jerking toward him, her expression feral and uncompromising. _

"_Where do you want to go, Leah? I'll take you anywhere. Right now."_

_The words hit her with a welcoming force, enough to make her footsteps falter, to make her think. For the red in her vision to clear for a split second so she could stop, so she could look at him with a surprised sincerity he wouldn't be able to see. _

_Yet he held her gaze anyway, and it was then she realized she'd stopped walking completely._

"_Get in the truck," he repeated._

_And she felt her feet move again, only this time it was toward the truck. Toward him. _

_She couldn't explain why she was shaking when she pulled the door closed behind her, fingers fumbling against the window knob, cranking it until the glass was in place. Shutting out the rain and the cold. Water dripped from her body, soaking the upholstery, hitting the vinyl mats beneath her feet, and if Embry noticed or cared, he didn't say a word._

_Expecting him to drive, she watched as he reached up, shifting the truck into park and removing his foot from the brake._

_Leah's heart pounded in her chest, and she tried to feel angry, but there was nothing left inside her. Nothing but defeat. At least not in that moment. _

"_Drive," she growled._

_She could hear Embry take a deep breath from across the cab. Nothing in her life was a secret, and she knew what was coming. She always knew, because they always knew. Every move. Every word. Everything that happened before she had a chance to speak._

_Her pain was theirs, but in that moment, she found that very hard to believe. _

_But something told her to trust Embry. Call it an instinct, but it was something she always felt. The day she first phased, when the legends of their tribe proved to be true – when the fever consumed her body and her frame shifted, bones realigning and skin giving way to sleek, silver fur – his voice was the first one she heard in her head, clear among the terror, among the jumbled mess of her own frantic thoughts. Telling her to breathe. Telling her to wait. Telling her he would be there._

_Just like he did when it happened only an hour earlier._

_Just like he was in that moment._

_He took another breath. "Are you okay?"_

_She scoffed, the noise turning into another irrational laugh. Hiding the truth beneath it. "Am I okay? Am I _okay_? You know what happened...you saw it," she murmured, rubbing her face with her hands, slicking the remaining raindrops from her flesh. _

_Embry paused, the silence thick in the cab of the truck. "Sam imprinted..."_

_She nodded violently, the word burning like acid in her mouth. Imprint. It was something inherent to their kind. To shifters. A way to perpetuate the gene. A way for their spirit animal – their wolves – to recognize their perfect mate in another._

_It hadn't been her. _

_She was not Sam Uley's imprint, and if choice had mattered when it came to what they were, it would have been enough._

_It hadn't been enough. _

_But his imprint had been the closest thing to Leah. Her cousin. Her best friend. Emily Young._

_And Leah didn't understand. She burned as the truth replayed in her mind. As she saw Emily's face in her mind's eye, just moments before..._

"_He asked for his ring back...I was almost to the door." The words spilled from her mouth, saliva thick in her mouth. "I lost it, Embry...I lost control. I just..." Leah couldn't breathe, the air in the truck suddenly stifling. A heaviness settled in her chest, twisting at her insides. She could still feel moisture on her face, but when she reached up to wipe it away, it wasn't rain. Salty, searing tears spilled from her eyes, and she hadn't even noticed. _

_And they wouldn't stop._

_She was losing control again, but in a way she didn't recognize. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to stop the tears. To hide in the darkness behind her eyelids._

"_I lost it," she repeated, shaking her head. It was her voice, but she had no control over the words. "I lost it, and she was too close. I...she..."_

_The images flashed through her mind, remembering. It was impossible not to. Leah shook beneath the weight of it all. Of her vision shimmering, of her cousin's wide eyes, her body frozen in place. The sound of bones realigning. Of the screen door giving way beneath a pressure it couldn't withstand. Of Sam's cries, pleading with Leah to stop. For Emily to run._

_But she hadn't run. _

_She should have fucking ran._

_Leah could hear voices in her head, familiar ones, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. All she could focus on was the anger, consuming her from the inside out, the reds of rage overtaking it all._

_Until it was replaced by something else. Another red, cascading down her cousin's beautiful face in crimson streams. The silence was thick and heavy, save for sound of Leah's rough, purposeful breaths escaping canine lungs. She hovered over her cousin, all reason lost, until those brown eyes looked up at her, watching her with horror. Like Leah was a stranger._

_And it hit her all over again. _

_What had happened – why it happened – was reinforced when Sam appeared in front of her as well. Ordering her back. She could feel a semblance of control returning, powerless to his demand. Body pulling in on itself until she was once again standing on two legs, naked and struggling to breathe. Sam knelt beside Emily, talking quickly about a doctor and a hospital, pausing just long enough to look up at Leah, whose feet were rooted to the floor. _

_One word was all he said._

"_Leave."_

_The rain had washed it all away, but Leah swore she could still smell it. The blood beneath her fingernails. On her forearms. In her hair. It burned her nostrils, despite the fact she couldn't see a single trace of it on her flesh._

"_I wanted to kill her..." Leah's voice was a whisper, almost swept away by the sound of rain splattering against the truck's windshield. "I wanted to kill him...for leaving. But it should have been me...like he said..."_

_She opened her eyes then, slowly turning her head, facing the man in the seat next to her. He was watching her, his jaw tight and his eyes blazing with sympathy but not quite masking something else that rested in them._

_Understanding._

_Lips parting, her eyes refused to leave Embry's. "It should have been me," she repeated. "I should have left. I should have never let it get that far."_

_He moved quickly, breath leaving him in a helpless rush. As he tried to figure out what he could say. What he could do to make it right. To make it better. He'd always been a fixer. At seventeen years old, he still thought even the most lost causes could be saved._

_He was as stupid as she was._

_Still, she was surprised how willingly she let herself be pulled into his arms, the hard plastic of the truck's console digging into her hip. No one else had come looking for her, and still she barely felt it. She barely felt _anything_, except for the warmth of the arms around her. Except for the way his breath moved through her hair, his mouth whispering comforting words she didn't want to hear. _

"_It'll be okay...It wasn't your fault."_

_Words that didn't matter, regardless of who said them. _

_Pushing Embry away, she turned, pressing her body against the door. Leaning her forehead against cool glass. Feeling the last tear escape her eye._

"_Where do you wanna go, Leah?" His voice was a pained, desolate whisper._

_She sighed, expelling the last bit of feeling or regard she held for that world when the air left her lungs._

"_Home," she whispered. "Just take me home."_

_And he had, but the next night – as Seth slept and her mother worked the night shift at the hospital – Leah packed a bag, tucking all the money she'd saved since turning fourteen deep inside a pair of shoes at the bottom. After leaving a note for her mother, she left the house shrouded by darkness, but she didn't dare phase. She didn't dare run._

_Never again, she promised herself. _

_She walked all the way to the bus station in Port Angeles, the soft oranges and yellows of the early-morning sun peeking over the horizon by the time she finally got there._

_As the bus pulled away, Leah stared forlornly out the window. Making a plan to forget. Making promises to herself. Swearing none of it would ever happen again. She didn't need Embry's help. Telling herself he and Seth and the others could have their pack and their legends and everything it cost them. That Sam and Emily could have their perfect life. That he'd never see the scars he left on her, and she'd never see the ones she left on her cousin._

_Promising herself she'd never let herself get close enough to hurt someone else. _

_That she would never let someone get close enough to hurt _her_.  
_

_That she would forget this life and what it cost her. _

_No matter how far she had to go to do it._

* * *

**So, SOME answers in this chapter hopefully, and a little background. Obviously this is canon divergent, so what did you guys think of the twist? Of how it's affected Leah in conjunction with everything else?**

**Then there's Embry...all grown up. *sigh***

**Updates will be once a week after this week, unless my chapter cushion continues to grow, which I like to keep in case life gets in the way of writing time. :)**

**Thoughts?**


	3. Hesitate

_****____**Disclaimer: **____All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "O Sister" by City and Colour, "Hearts A Mess" by Gotye, "Everything and Nothing" by The Boom Circuits, "Knife" by Grizzly Bear, "Heart of Stone" by Iko, "Dead In The Water" by Ellie Goulding**_

"_So how's it going out there? The first meeting is scheduled for Monday, right?"_

Embry pressed the cell phone harder to his ear while leaning his forearms against the metal railing of the terrace attached to his hotel room. His eyes swept over the Chicago skyline, scanning Lake Michigan behind the glistening skyscrapers. While the city was definitely exciting, a part of him already missed home. The peace, the wide-open spaces, the scent of fresh rain and pine greeting him every morning when he woke up.

Regardless, the sun had barely been up two hours before his phone rang. He was daft enough to think the trip might actually pass as some kind of a vacation where he'd get to sleep in, but the absurdity of it was hammered home when he reached out to silence the shrill ringing, face still buried in an oversized feather pillow and five hundred thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets.

_The accommodations here definitely have one up on home_, he admitted to himself before locating the phone.

Embry wasn't surprised to see Jacob Black's name on the caller ID when he finally emerged from his den of pillows and blankets, but he didn't hesitate to release a groan before hitting the key to answer.

"Don't you have a pack to alpha or a garage to open or something?" Embry had grumbled into the phone, rolling over on his back and using the back of his hand to groggily wipe the sleep from his eyes.

Jake had talked long enough for Embry to roll out of bed, peel back the curtains, and open the terrace doors, letting in morning noises he wasn't used to – car horns, road construction, and the constant hum of traffic several floors below him. Listening to Jake ramble, Embry couldn't help but wonder what it was Leah found so appealing about this kind of life.

_Leah..._

He was still reeling from it, to be honest. From seeing her after so many years. She wasn't just some random person, an old acquaintance who had decided to move away from home one day. She was pack – a person inextricably bound to Embry, Jake, and all the others who were part of something bigger than the everyday. They were spirit warriors, protectors of their tribe. Bound for life, no matter what direction they went. Through the mental link they shared as part of that bond, Embry had seen the deepest corners of Leah's mind. He'd touched her soul, just as she had his and every other person in their pack.

Perhaps his more than others, and he cared about her. In a way he couldn't really explain, except for the fact he had been there when it happened.

When it _all_ happened.

The night she first phased - a female wolf, the first and only one of her kind. He'd gotten there first – before Sam, before Jake. Before any of them. She lay there in the trees just to the north of her house, still in wolf form, trembling, anxious whines escaping her throat. Her thoughts a mix of tangible fear and confusion.

He was a protector, not only as a wolf but a man as well, and what laid before him pricked at something he was all too familiar with. He'd spent his entire life taking care of his mother, who had no one except him and a perpetual sadness in her eyes that never seemed to go away. From the time he was old enough to speak and understand, he was required to be a pillar of strength for her. Growing up long before he should have. Understanding fear and sadness in a way very few people his age did.

So once he was there, he hadn't said a word. Instead, he simply went to Leah, lying down on the ground beside her, his muzzle brushing along hers. Simply touching her – being there – until her thoughts slowed. Until her breaths were even.

Coaxing her back, until she was able to return to her human form.

It was the only time she'd needed him in such a way, and she'd shifted back for him.

She had taken well to the transformation. Much better than he had, even more so than Jake. Embry was in awe of Leah, admiring her from afar. It was something he wasn't used to – her strength, an inherent fire within, the love and determination she was capable of carrying in her heart for her family and the pack.

For Sam.

Despite the burden she was asked to bear.

Until it all ended. It all crashed down because of that very same burden.

Until she needed him again, even though she never asked.

Yet Leah had removed herself, unaccepting of anything he tried to offer her. She'd left, gone before any of them could really process what had happened, and her absence was something none of them could forget. Something none of them could stop feeling.

But years passed, and the likelihood of them hearing from her - of finding out where she went - decreased with each passing day. Their lives went on. They adapted. Covering the hole the best they could but never really filling it, they kept going without her, and most of them had given up hope of her ever coming home.

Except for Embry.

Yet the shock he'd felt at seeing her in that bar, and then again at the hotel lounge, was still thick in his system.

Outwardly she had changed, that much was certain. To anyone else who might not have known her, she probably came off as cold, but to Embry, she seemed...guarded. Distant, like she'd built walls so high it would be impossible for anyone to climb them.

Walls created by the very things that drove her away from La Push in the first place.

Embry couldn't blame her, although a part of him had always hoped the distance would help her. That the space would help her find another identity. Perhaps a better one. A place in a world outside the one that had forced her to deal with more pain than any one person should be expected to.

But standing on the curb while she waited for a taxi, avoiding his eyes at all costs, it was clear he might have hoped for too much.

Until he saw her smile. Until he'd seen that person she was before...

If there was one thing Embry believed it was everything happened for a reason. There was a reason he went to that bar, and there was a reason this was the hotel Jake made arrangements for him to stay. One with a lounge where Leah happened to meet a client the night before.

Even if he had no idea yet what that reason was.

"_So everything should be in line then. You getting out at all, bro? How's the city?"_

Blinking, the sound of Jake's voice brought Embry out of his daydreaming. Fingers curling around the terrace railing, he had to fight the urge to tell Jake the full truth about how his trip was going. He knew Jake would want to know, but Leah had made it clear she didn't want anyone from home knowing she was in Chicago, and he wasn't the kind of person who would break a promise simply to get something heavy off his chest.

"Yeah, a little," he murmured, scrubbing one hand through his shaggy, ebony hair as he straightened, turning back toward the terrace door. "Wouldn't want to live here though."

"_Yeah, I suppose the streets of Chicago are a little different than the forest trails of La Push, huh?"_

Embry chuckled, sliding open the door and slipping through it into the silence of his hotel room. "Not quite the same, no." Walking toward the bathroom, he flipped on the light, bathing the room in a soft, yellow glow. "How's Bella doing?"

"_You mean besides the unexpected emotional breakdowns and wacky pregnancy cravings? She's great..."_

Smiling, Embry let his fingers run along the marble surface of the bathroom sink. Jake's wife, Bella, was about six months pregnant and was just reaching the stage where things in their house were starting to get weird. Embry had lost count of the number of times he'd shown up at the garage in the morning to open only to find Jake sleeping on the ratty couch in the office. Or the times Jake would make _him_ run to the store in the middle of the day to fetch Bella crap like canned sardines, ice cream, or salt and vinegar chips.

"Well, tell her I said hi," Embry added, his fingers landing on the square piece of cardstock he'd taken out of his jeans pocket the night before and placed on the counter for safekeeping. "And that I'm sorry I'm not there to get her those double-bacon chili burgers from the diner she loves these days."

"_Ha. You should be apologizing to me for that, man, but I will. Call me Monday after the meeting, got it?"_

"Jake...I've got it."

"_Yeah, yeah, I know. Call me anyway. And get out and do something. Enjoy yourself a little. It's a tiny part of the reason I sent you to do this."_

Sighing, Embry nodded at thin air, letting the smile lessen by a fraction. "Got it, Chief."

Embry lowered the phone from his ear, hitting the end key before setting the phone on the counter. His eyes shifted down to the business card on which his fingers now rested, eyes scanning the name and locating the cell phone number tucked in the corner, typed out in small numbers.

Taking a deep breath, he picked up his phone again while scooping up the business card in the other hand, fingers sweeping over the keys and dialing the number.

In terms of why he was there, he had everything under control.

But Jake had told him to get out, and he planned on it.

* * *

"This is fucking stupid."

Leah stared at her reflection in the mirror attached to her closet door. She was now on outfit number three, and for some reason, nothing she tried on seemed to look right. She had something in mind for this dinner she'd give anything to get out of. An image she needed to project. One that would satiate Embry's insistence and ensure that after tonight, he'd go back to La Push and live his life without worrying about her and her well-being.

But nothing was working. Everything she tried on that _wasn't_ meant for business – plunging necklines, shortened hems – was all wrong.

So instead she stood in her underwear, fingers grazing aimlessly over silky, caramel flesh, staring at her own frustrated scowl as she tried to think. It was now a quarter to eight, and she was supposed to meet Embry at Blackbird restaurant in less than forty-five minutes.

It really was the last place she wanted to spend a Saturday night, away from the bar she was used to. Away from the life she lived under the cover of low lights, loud music, and Templeton.

That place didn't feel like she did at that moment, and she fucking hated it. It was the exact feeling she was trying to get away from.

But there was another feeling buried deep inside her. An odd anticipation she couldn't place, but one she couldn't seem to dismiss either.

Regardless, she didn't waste any time trying to figure it out.

She didn't _have_ time to figure it out if she was going to get this over with.

"Fuck it."

With a groan, she stomped back into her walk-in closet, letting her hands hover over the hanging garments for a moment before making a decision, telling herself she wasn't changing again.

She took only a moment to slip into the dress – a black, one-shoulder number with a banded waist that draped in all the right places. It was still too short for a casual dinner with someone she could barely call a friend, but it would have to do.

Even so, she told herself it would transition well if she somehow found a way to call it an early night. In reality, it didn't matter what she wore; she'd convince Embry she was fine one way or another. He'd likely come to his own conclusions, and it wouldn't be through some facade she put forward, mostly because he was always too observant for his own damn good.

Regardless, whatever they were, he'd be forced to deal with them.

Giving herself one last once-over in the mirror, she stepped into a pair of silver pumps before grabbing her clutch off the dining room table and leaving the loft.

It was a short taxi ride to the restaurant, one she'd been to with clients many times. She fiddled with the hem of her dress as the car made its way there, her foot twitching anxiously the closer they got to her destination.

Leah took a deep breath and closed her eyes, desperately trying to pull herself together. To prepare herself for what waited for her. She could do this, even if she felt horribly out of her element. It was too exclusive. Too...intimate, but he promised he wouldn't ask questions, and at this point, she was holding onto that vow as if it were her last lifeline.

It also was the only thing stopping her from telling the taxi driver to turn around and take her anywhere other than where she was headed.

_You're stronger now_, she told herself.

_You can do this._

Her nerves settled a bit just before the cab turned onto Randolph Street. Taking one last deep breath, Leah felt her phone vibrate inside her clutch, causing her stomach to twist in knots yet again as she reached to pull it out.

The name appearing on the screen immediately squelched the burn.

Jason.

Holding the air in her lungs, Leah opened the text message.

_Out tonight?_

Hesitating, she looked up from the phone, watching the restaurant come into view as the taxi started to slow. She had met Jason more than a year ago in the bar she frequented, and he also was one Leah had decided to keep around. It wasn't anything more than the text displayed on her phone, but something about him the first night they were together prompted her to give him her number before she walked away.

Leah swallowed, looking back at her phone. He had put up a fight that night. Challenged her. He had made the hunt worthwhile, both during and after.

Now, he filled that need for feeling when she wasn't in the mood for games. When all she wanted was something quick, consuming, and raw...

And he was entirely _too_ good at giving her what she needed.

Pulling her lower lip between her teeth, Leah took a deep breath, replying with heavy fingers as the taxi pulled to a stop outside the restaurant.

_Not right now. Dinner with a friend. Maybe later._

A warm gust of air hit Leah's overheated skin as the restaurant valet opened the taxi door for her. With a grateful smile, she tucked the phone inside her clutch before her frame unfolded, stepping from the car. Barely noticing the feel of her phone vibrating against her wrist, she pushed it to the back of her mind, thanking the valet and approaching the restaurant.

Inside, the small dining room was packed with patrons. Pausing, she scanned the room quickly before the hostess just inside the entrance greeted her, offering Leah a friendly smile when she turned her gaze on the woman.

"Under what name is the reservation?"

Leah cleared her throat, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Uh...Clearwater. For two?"

"Of course," the hostess pressed on. "The other half of your party is already here." Knowing eyes flicked toward the end of the long row of seating against the far wall of the restaurant.

"Thank you," Leah acknowledged, giving the hostess a nod before throwing every ounce of strength into her long, slender legs, forcing them to carry her forward.

He was sitting at the last table closest to the kitchen. Lips parting, Leah hesitated for a moment, trying to find an airtight place to put the crawling sensation just beneath her skin. Wondering if she should say something first.

But he beat her to it, peering over his shoulder just slightly, his ebony eyes immediately finding hers.

_Those eyes._

Leah's footsteps fell short, and she was no longer moving. She didn't know how it was possible for so much to change – how so many things in their lives could be different – yet those eyes were exactly the same. The look in them. The _goodness_. Like time hadn't touched them or the person who possessed them.

It was unnerving in the worst possible way.

Leah remembered to breathe when he rose lithely to his feet.

"Wow..." Embry's eyes were wide, fighting a smile as he stood, fingers pushing awkwardly through his hair. Almost like he wasn't sure what to do with his hands. "You look...amazing."

Taking a deep breath, Leah smiled gingerly, although it wasn't as hard as she expected it would be. Pausing for a moment, she held Embry's gaze, allowing him to watch her while letting her own eyes sweep unabashedly over his frame. He was wearing a tailored white shirt, the top few buttons casually undone and the sleeves rolled to his elbows. His dark wash jeans looked brand new, and he'd swept his hair back carefully across his forehead.

Pursing her lips, Leah again found herself fighting a smile. "You look...exactly the same."

At her words, Embry let out a hearty laugh, shaking his head in amusement as he finally looked away. "I guess I'll take that as a compliment," he murmured, his eyes bouncing back to hers. "Wanna sit?"

Nodding, she gripped her clutch in front of her midsection, stepping around Embry and sliding gracefully into the booth seat against the wall. "Did you have any trouble finding the place?" she questioned, peeking at him once more as she smoothed her dress over her thighs, carefully crossing her legs beneath the table.

Embry shrugged. "Concierge at my hotel has been pretty good about those kinds of things."

The corner of her lip pulled upward again as Leah reached toward the table, realigning her silverware by a fraction of an inch. Trying to find something to do with _her_ hands. The shadow of their waiter appeared over the table by the time she reached for her water glass, rigidly bringing it to her lips before taking a sip. Wishing desperately that the glass contained something a little...stronger.

"Can we get a bottle of the Pedestal Merlot, please? Yes...thank you."

Leah paused, peering at Embry over the rim of her water glass before lowering it. He leaned his forearms against the table, meeting her gaze with an easy smile. One eyebrow lifted as she watched him. "Merlot, huh? I'm impressed," she murmured carefully, trying her best to not put him off.

Embry shrugged, and Leah couldn't help but notice how at ease he seemed. Save for his greeting, he wasn't missing a beat.

"This isn't my first time," he replied. It was his turn to raise his eyebrows. "Is wine alright?"

Leah waved her hand in front of her, shaking her head slightly. "No, that's...perfect."

"Good," he murmured, eyes flicking downward. "Wasn't sure what you'd like. If I had my way, I'd be okay with a plain old beer, but...this place doesn't look like it carries anything like that." He let his eyes quickly sweep the small restaurant as the words left his mouth.

The anxiety was ebbing slightly the more Leah breathed, the more she watched the ease radiating from the person across the table from her. The more he silently reassured her he wasn't going to bring up things she wasn't ready to talk about.

"Well, they have beer but it usually doesn't go very well with foie gras and elk loin."

Embry's face screwed up in amusement as the waiter reappeared with their bottle of red wine. "I have no idea what you just said, except for the elk part...but I'm pretty sure it goes with everything. That may just be me though..."

Leah didn't respond, pulling her bottom lip awkwardly between her teeth, letting the silence settle over their table as the waiter uncorked the bottle and poured them each a glass. She interjected only to order for an appetizer. Once the waiter was out of earshot, Embry's eyes settled on her, lips parting to speak.

"So let's cut the small talk," Leah interrupted pointedly, raising an eyebrow as Embry gaped at her, mouth still open from the words he never got a chance to say. "You...in Chicago. What's up with that?"

Embry released a breath, relaxing against the back of his chair while his fingers played with the stem of the wine glass. "You don't waste any time these days, do you?"

"Not really," she replied unapologetically, the slight smile returning when she said it.

Inhaling, Embry held it in his lungs before letting it out in a rush. "I'm meeting with a potential investor."

The words caught Leah's attention, and her eyes widened instinctively. "An investor?"

Embry nodded, taking a sip of wine and grimacing a little bit before continuing. "To finance a new business."

He paused, almost as if waiting for Leah's reaction. Feeling her out to see how much he should say. When she nodded diplomatically, he continued. "_My_ new business hopefully...if everything plays out the way it's supposed to."

"Really..." Leah couldn't think of anything better to say, the words surprising her. Replaying each one in her head, she let them sink in. It was hard for her to picture it – the thought of Embry being in town because he was trying to start a business. A _business_. The last time she'd seen him he wasn't even out of high school.

_The last time she'd seen him..._

"Tell me about it." Changing the subject, the words slipped from her mouth before she could stop them.

Embry's features warmed at her permission. Taking a deep breath, he busied himself with the appetizer in front of him while he spoke. "Well, a few years back, Jake had started fixing cars out of Billy's garage. He took money for it, but he couldn't really keep up with the demand, you know?" He glanced at Leah, and she nodded again. "So his dad helped him apply for a tribal grant...and he got it. So then it was just a matter of finding a space to open an actual garage. Luckily, he was able to convince the tribal council to lease him that old warehouse down the street from the Rec Center."

"How's that fit in with you?" Leah asked tentatively.

Smiling, he took another drink of wine, and Leah hid her smirk behind her hand at the agonized facial expression he made. "He asked me and Paul to help him run it, Paul mainly because he has Rachel to take care of now. He also offered us both a small share in the business. Quil works there too, but he wanted to stay out of the business side of it." Embry followed up his explanation by swigging a quick drink of water. "Jake's reputation around the county helped out a lot in the beginning, and the garage took off pretty fast...faster than any of us were really expecting."

"So he wants to open another one," Leah concluded, running her thumb against the side of her wine glass.

Embry nodded. "We all work on the cars. We all get our hands dirty, but I do a lot of the books. The accounting and stuff. Jake never was one for the math side of things, so it worked out pretty well. Anyway, one of our customers is a lawyer in Port Angeles. He was in one day when we were working on his car, and he was chatting with me in the office...telling me about his dad's company, which is based out of Chicago..." He hesitated, looking to Leah and watching her knowing expression as the story started coming together. "The guy likes to invest in small businesses on the side. Ones that show a lot of promise when it comes to profit and return, and Jake's been talking about expanding for a while now. So in reality, he pretty much jumped at the opportunity when I told him about it."

Leah felt an odd feeling inside her as he told his story. A strange sense of pride for the person sitting in front of her, for the boys – the _men_ – she had once considered family. To hear the way their lives had turned out.

It surprised her to feel the warmth tingling in her veins. To realize how no matter what she told herself, a tiny part of her still cared about them.

Even though she'd spent so much time convincing herself she no longer did.

"And that's why you're here," she whispered, reaching for her wine glass.

Embry nodded, his lips curling into a small smile. "That's why I'm here."

"Because Jacob wants you to run the second garage."

"Well, it won't be _all_ mine," Embry interjected, his brow furrowing, "but Jake is making me a partner in it. He needs someone to manage it since he'll have to stay at the one in La Push, So yeah...instead of the twenty percent I get now from the business, that number will go up. He'll get the rest, and this company will get their share. We're just hoping the cut they ask for isn't obscene or Jake'll never go for it, and then the whole idea will go to hell pretty quick."

"So why didn't he come with you?" Leah asked, barely noticing as the waiter came and placed their appetizers in front of them. "Why send you by yourself?"

Embry shrugged. "Guess he trusts me enough to handle it on my own." Hesitating again, he picked up his fork before continuing. "Well, that and I don't think Bella would let him leave for two whole weeks."

"Bella?" Leah blurted out, leaning forward in her seat, unable to hide the blatant surprise on her face. "You mean...she finally pulled her head out of her ass and decided to go for someone warm and living?"

"Yeah," Embry replied knowingly, unfazed by Leah's choice of words before picking up his knife and cutting into the small piece of meat in front of him. "They got married about two years ago. They're gonna have a baby here in a few months."

"Jesus," Leah breathed, the news sending an inexplicable shiver through her veins. "That's...well, great for him."

"It is," Embry agreed, chewing thoughtfully. "That's why this whole investment thing is kind of bad timing. Guy has enough on his mind with a baby on the way, and now he's worrying about opening a second shop." Swallowing, he shrugged. "So if anything, besides the obvious, I'm just happy to take something off his plate for him."

"Huh." Exhaling swiftly, Leah leaned back in her seat, unsure of what to say as her appetizer plate went untouched. She wasn't sure what else she could say, so she released the first words that formed on her tongue.

Words that deep down, she was pretty sure she meant.

"That's fantastic, Embry...really." She glanced up, finding him already watching her with a soft expression on his face. "That's great for you."

Smiling sheepishly, he nodded. "I'm pretty excited about it, yeah. Hopefully this guy here likes what I have to say and the deal goes through."

"It will."

Embry hesitated, fork hovering in the air as he watched her, almost like he was trying to figure out where the sudden burst of faith had come from. Leah's fingers curled tighter around her thigh beneath the table. "What makes you say that?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Because I work in public relations. I get paid to spout bullshit all day, and that?" Raising an eyebrow, she nodded toward him before reaching for her wine glass. "The way you talk about the business, the passion you have for it...it's written all over your face. It's not about Jake. It's not about helping him out. It's a dream _you_ have."

Taking a drink, she tried to ignore the way his smile fell slowly from his lips, eyes clouding as she spoke. Like something had shifted.

Like he was realizing it was the first time she'd truly _talked_ to him all night.

Shifting in her seat, Leah tasted the wine on her tongue before swallowing. "They'll see that, Embry...and they'll make the investment," she insisted, holding those eyes with hers. "If they know what's good for them, they'll give you their money."

Several moments passed before Embry cleared his throat, eyes faltering for a moment as he set his fork on his plate. Leah noticed the waiter once again approaching their table. "I hope you're right..."

"I am," she reaffirmed, offering him a confident yet small smile. "You'll see."

Embry didn't look away until the waiter reached their table, and Leah didn't really hear his dinner order as he spoke it to the other man. All she could focus on were the words she'd just said to him. Wondering where they had come from, only she couldn't figure it out. All she knew was somehow it wasn't about the past. It wasn't about the life she left behind.

It was about the man sitting in front of her, and it was about _his_ future. Something that wasn't so painful to talk about.

Something that had nothing to do with her, which was a lot easier to swallow.

When the table in front of her finally came back into focus, Leah realized the waiter was watching her expectantly, so she offered him an apologetic smile and reached for her menu, ordering the first dish her eyes landed on.

"Anything else for you, miss?"

Leah snuck a glance out of the corner of eye to see Embry still watching her, his face relaxed and expressionless.

"Yeah," she spoke up. "Get this one a beer when you get a chance."

She pretended not to see the smile spread across his lips when the waiter finally walked away.

* * *

It wasn't until Embry pointed it out, Leah's fork poised ravenously above the plate of sweet banana cake, did she realize what had happened.

"You made it to dessert..."

Frowning, she peered up at the person across the table. "What?"

"You made it to dessert," Embry repeated, a knowing smirk threatening to overtake his expression. "That was the deal. If you made it to dessert and you weren't having a good time, I'd leave you alone."

Smiling, Leah shook her head. It was weird really. How often in the past hour she'd found herself smiling. Although she had no explanation, it grew increasingly easier to smile the longer she sat there.

Embry had talked more about the garage and the company who was interested in investing. Leah recognized the name and the business behind it – they were clients at a competing firm. In turn, she'd talked a little about her job and a little less about college.

The conversation topics had stopped there. Embry did his best to avoid words and references that hit too close to the past, and Leah did her best not to think about it at all. To forget about the questions probably sitting on the tip of his tongue.

Questions he never once asked, and answers he never went searching for.

She was grateful for it.

"You bought me a hundred-dollar bottle of wine and banana cake," she murmured, finally giving up and shoving a bite of the sweet dessert into her mouth. "What woman in her right mind _wouldn't_ be having a good time?"

"Well, I took a chance," he replied, opening the black folder containing the credit card slip. Signing it quickly, he closed it before pushing it to the edge of the table. "A lucky one, since we both know women aren't exactly my specialty..."

Leah snorted, the words coming directly from the shy, awkward teenage boy she remembered. "Still? I find that kind of hard to believe."

Shrugging, Embry flashed her a shy half-smile, turning his hands up in defeat when Leah shook her head. "You really haven't changed all that much," she laughed quietly, taking another bite of cake. Watching as the smile lessened on his lips by a fraction.

Sighing, Embry leaned back, offering her a small smile of his own. Like he knew something she didn't.

"Neither have you."

Face falling, the piece of cake in her mouth was suddenly difficult to swallow. He had no idea really, yet it wasn't until she looked back to him, meeting his gaze, that she heard the sincerity in his words. That his eyes told a similar story, looking at her like she _wasn't_ damaged. Like she wasn't an empty shell of the person she used to be.

Like she wasn't something to be hunted, in desperate need of rescue from a barstool.

It was the same way he'd _always_ looked at her.

But she pushed it away, ignoring the warmth it sent pulsing through her veins. A foreign sensation buried by the truth of the matter.

Warmth was something she no longer welcomed. Not like this.

"You keep telling yourself that," she murmured, swiping the last bite of cake from her plate and popping it in her mouth. Pretending like she didn't notice the smile fall from his.

A few minutes later, they were standing outside the restaurant, waiting for the taxi the valet had called for Leah. Arms crossed in front of her chest, she stood rigidly next to Embry. Now that it was over, she was unsure of what to say, but she _hadn't_ forgotten what she was supposed to do next.

She was supposed to leave. That was when she was supposed to walk away, just as she had before.

She could feel him turn next to her. Hear him take a deep breath, his exhale long and hesitant.

"I'm glad we did this," he finally said, the words almost getting lost in the night and the unusual silence of the road in front of them.

Swallowing thickly, she nodded, trying to find the words. "Me too," she replied, even though she wasn't entirely sure the words were true. Suddenly feeling a mixture of unease and relief, she knew it would probably be the last time she saw him. Still, she knew that was the way it had to be because she had no room in her life for him.

Not anymore.

But the way he was looking at her – _again_ – made it all too clear that was exactly what he wanted. A place..._somewhere_, somehow, and that wasn't something she was willing to give.

"Six years is a long time, Lee..."

Taking a deep breath, she could feel it churning inside her. The same reaction she felt when things started getting a little too personal. When the ones who didn't understand started coming a little too close. She could feel herself closing off, all the smiles and laughs she allowed threatening to fade into the background.

Yet she fought the overwhelming urge to walk away. She _couldn't_. Her legs were too heavy, feet rooted to the ground.

_He wasn't one of them._

"That was the point, Embry," she whispered, eyes searching. Breath leaving her in a silent, grateful rush the moment she saw the taxi round the corner at the end of the street. She didn't want to talk about it anymore. She didn't want him to ruin it.

But he did, the moment he stepped in front of her, his shoes appearing in her vision. It was all she could see, but she felt everything else. His heat reaching out, surrounding her.

Keeping her from leaving.

It was too much, bringing back a flood of memories she'd tried all night to push down. Ones he exacerbated by simply being too close. Closing her eyes, she swallowed thickly. Holding it back, steeling herself despite the fact each one clawed at her insides. Whispering at her to turn around. To find another way out.

Yet he held her in place, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her without waiting for permission. Body tensing inherently, she held her breath, suddenly consumed by that same heat. One she recognized but hadn't felt in so long.

One that reached inside and squeezed a buried piece of her so tight Leah found herself unable to breathe.

"Don't let it be another six years," he whispered, breath warm on the top of her head. Ignoring the fact her arms dug into his chest, refusing to let go of herself. Refusing to return his embrace.

Shivering, she could feel it starting. That need for release. That buzzing beneath her skin. Her own heat building. A need to purge the anxiety growing within her.

She was losing her hold on control, and she needed to go. Shaky hands robotically uncurled from her forearms, pressing against his chest instead. Slowly pushing him away.

_Again..._

He released her without a fight. He didn't pull her back, and Leah peered up at him as the heat around her receded. As the boiling inside her continued to grow, he looked down, a small, unassuming smile playing on his lips. But he didn't speak. Even as she glanced behind him, watching the taxi as it came to a stop at the curb, she could feel him watching her. Waiting for her to say _something_.

"Thank you for dinner." She finally forced the words from her mouth, affording him the briefest of glances, ignoring the expectation in his eyes. A question she could answer if she really wanted to. Instead, she clenched her trembling hands into fists, stepping around him and feeling the heaviness in her stomach dissolve little by little with each step she took toward the taxi.

"Leah..."

Something about his voice made her hesitate just before getting in the vehicle, her hand curling tightly around the top of the door. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, slowly glancing over her shoulder before opening them.

Embry's brow was pulled down with concern, with an anxiety of his own. One she couldn't place, not until he finally spoke.

"Will you keep in touch?"

Stomach wrenching, her lips parted, unable to form the words on her tongue. Two words were all she needed. Just two fucking words and she could walk away and he would go home and never come back.

_I can't..._

It was all she needed to say.

But standing there, withering under those intense, contemplative eyes that spoke more words than he ever could, she closed her own because her words wouldn't form. Still, she eventually let her lips move and regretted it the moment she did.

"Thank you for dinner," she repeated, sucking in a deep breath as she opened her eyes, fingers clinging even harder to the taxi door. Threatening to dent the metal if she put forth any more pressure. "I'll pay you back...for dinner. It was expensive..."

Embry's face relaxed by a fraction, and he let the small smile return to his own. "Don't worry about it," he insisted, his hands inherently finding the pockets of his jeans.

"No." She shook her head wildly. "I'll pay you back."

Forehead creasing in resignation, Embry sighed. "Just keep in touch, okay?"

The words were gone again, but the shaking turned into a nod. Over and over, her head bobbed without waiting for her permission.

"Okay..."

When he smiled, she could feel her muscles rippling beneath the surface of her skin. Blood surging through her veins, she tensed, holding her breath. She wasn't sure how she made it into the backseat of the taxi, but when her eyes opened again, she was there. The door was closed and it was pulling away from the curb.

What she said...that wasn't what she wanted. Hands clenching into fists, she swore silently to herself the moment she regained a semblance of control over her anxious frame. The moment she was sure she wasn't going to phase in the backseat of a Chicago taxi.

What he wanted wasn't something she was willing to give, no matter what she said. No matter how many laughs. No matter how many smiles.

No matter how much she owed him.

He was too close, and if having dinner with him had proved one thing, there was no way in hell she could ever be herself around him...not without going back.

But she couldn't figure out what to do. Not then. Not when her hands were shaking so bad she could barely hold on to the clutch in her hands.

She gripped it tighter.

As the taxi drove toward Bucktown, fingers accidentally closed over the silhouette of her forgotten cell phone.

Chest tightening as she unclasped it, Leah reached in and grabbed the phone. Holding her breath, trying to calm the inexplicable churning in her stomach as she hit the button and allowed the text message she'd received earlier to light up the device.

_Well, you know where to find me..._

* * *

_**Well, how about that. Leah had a good time...but then...**_

_**Things are going to start to pick up and get a little more intense after this chapter. More questions to be answered as well. These first three really set the stage. Action and angst are on deck. ;)**_

_**P.S. Little known fact - I've actually been to Blackbird restaurant in Chicago. If you ever get there and consider yourself a "foodie" (which I do NOT, I just happened to be dating a professional chef at the time), I'd highly recommend it. :)**_

_**Anyway, thoughts on this chapter?**_


	4. Crash

_****____**Disclaimer: **____All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**Additional Disclaimer: **__This chapter contains MILD allusions to drug use. I'm notifying you all as a courtesy. I'm not condoning or advocating it, simply using it as a device. However, if you don't approve, just skip over the first section of this chapter. ;)_

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "Into The Past" by Nero, "Roads" by Portishead, "You Will Become" by Glen Hansard, "Thankless Marriage" by Spokane**_

Everything was on fire.

She could see him move in the darkness, body rising, her own rocking back. Everything in slow motion. The familiar room completely dark except for the red light of a sign seeping through the window. Matching the flames. Spreading agonizingly slow across his features. She blinked, the movement much too slow. Much too drawn out.

Fingernails scraped across the flesh of her back, and her eyes opened wide. Knees pressed hard into a mattress that wasn't hers. Lips parting, her voice taking its time to catch up to the rest of her.

A rough cry escaped Leah's mouth, head tipping back as cool arms jerked her body toward a hard chest. Her flesh glistened, covered with a thin sheen of sweat. Mixing with his, the scent simmered through her body.

The fire was everywhere by then. Inside her, around her, on his tongue as he drug it roughly up the space between her breasts. Tasting her. She trembled viscerally, arching her body toward him, when he didn't leave a single drop behind.

He hummed against her skin, lips parting as warm pants of air puffed across her skin.

"How's it feel?"

The high. He was talking about the high. She didn't want to think now. It's why she had done it. Why she'd simply smiled when he handed her the little white pill. Swallowing it without a second thought.

Sometimes, what she was doing – hips flexing as Jason pushed himself inside her – wasn't enough. Sometimes, it wasn't enough to feel anything. To forget...

Sometimes, she needed a little help.

And at that moment, she could feel _everything_. The heat racing through her veins was euphoric. His movements ethereal. Her head swimming with a vicious want. The scent of passion, arousal, and a carnal desire tangible in the warm air.

_This_ was what she wanted.

What she _needed_...

Leah writhed in the man's lap, wrapping her long, copper legs around his midsection, crying out as he pushed into her again. Rocking forward, she took his bottom lip between her teeth, tugging until he moaned.

Releasing it, she drug her mouth down the skin just next to his lips.

"Shut _up_," she growled, the sound coming in a voice she didn't recognize. Lower. Filled with a need she wasn't capable of on her own. "Just fuck me...that's all I want to feel..."

Closing her eyes, she let herself surrender to the heat. To the feel of his rough, thick fingers digging into her back. To the movement of her body leaning back, one hand curling tightly around crumpled sheets. Bracing herself. To the way the drug coursing through her veins heightened everything, even though the blood in her body made it impossible for it to last more than a handful of minutes.

It didn't matter. For now, she held onto it. Making every movement unreal. Allowing her lips to curl into a delirious smile as he pushed. As he pulled.

As she fell, his hands digging hard into her hips. Hard enough to hurt her.

But he never did.

None of them did, and that was how she liked it.

_This is who I am..._

Something she could walk away from whenever she wanted...

.

_Trying to pull her fingers through her rain-soaked hair, Leah realized it was useless a moment before she heard the footsteps behind her. The rest of the house was silent, and even from where she stood she could hear the soft pattering of rain on the roof two stories above._

_But his footsteps were louder._

"_You didn't need to come in here with me," she mumbled, her body swaying forward. Her mind a hazy mess, eyes stinging and swollen. Swaying forward, her fingers caught the edge of the sink, curling around it for dear life. She closed her eyes when she heard him breathe in. When he didn't move. _

"_I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Embry's whisper bled with worry, and it stole the breath from her lungs. She didn't deserve his concern. _

_She didn't want it..._

"_I'm fine," she lied, which was pointless. She was certain he could hear her heart pounding. That there was some way he could feel the tight, consuming ache in her chest, just like he'd be able to if they were phased. That he would know it wasn't the truth. "You should go," she pressed on, the words choked as they worked from her throat. "My mom's gonna be home soon. I'm gonna have to...explain to her...and Seth too. "_

_The ache throbbed at the simple mention of her brother's name, and it killed her. It killed her because it would touch him too. She wasn't sure how, but he would pay for it...what she'd done. Just like she was._

_At the same time, it killed her because she couldn't think of him without thinking of Sam. Without thinking of Emily. What he was a part of..._

_It all tied together. _

_It all came back to that._

"_Sam's gonna come looking for you, Leah...you know he is." Embry's voice was closer now, like he'd finally stepped into the kitchen. Far away, but still close._

_Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head wildly. "Well, there's nothing you can do to stop it then..."_

"_No," he murmured, "but I can be here. If he comes..."_

"_And do what?" she cried out, eyes snapping open, her legs suddenly turning her around to face him. He was standing just inside the kitchen door, watching through narrow, insistent eyes. His lips pursed with determination._

_By the look on his face, it was almost like he would do anything she asked of him. All she had to do was speak the words._

"_What the hell do you think you're gonna do, Embry?" she pushed, the ache lowering. Settling in her stomach, fanning through her veins as she once again started to tremble. "He's your Alpha...there's nothing you _can_ do."_

"_I know, but..." He was still looking at her, but his eyes shifted. Bouncing back and forth like they were searching, trying to come up with a better reason. Trying to come up with some kind of argument against hers._

_Leah sighed, arms heavy, her entire body lethargic. On the verge of shutting down completely, she couldn't take much more. _

"_You need to go," she breathed, doing her best to steel herself. To hide the war inside her. "I'm not...worth the trouble."_

_Her jaw tight, she forced her feet to move, approaching Embry. Ignoring how he watched her, lips parted helplessly, unspoken words lingering. _

_Her arm brushed his fingers when she went to pass him._

"_Leah..." _

_She couldn't move, her wrist suddenly encased by sturdy fingers. He was standing next to her, and her eyes traveled down to see where his hand curled around her arm. Landing there, trying to comprehend it before they moved up his frame, eventually finding his insistent eyes looking down at her._

_Wanting to pull away, she could if she tried...but she didn't. She couldn't fight; there was none left in her. When he turned, she didn't step back. She didn't move away. He moved too fast, and suddenly her wrist was freed but his hands were somewhere else. On her cheeks. Framing her face. Forcing her to look at him. Forcing her to listen._

_Brows pulling low over his eyes, he took a deep breath through his nose, holding her there._

_She was frozen, his eyes holding hers just as they had in his truck. Just as they had the night she first phased. She didn't understand...why he was doing it. Why he seemed to want to fight for her._

_But staring into those sincere ebony eyes – watching as they drifted below hers, settling for a brief moment on her mouth – for a split second she thought maybe he was right. As his lips parted slightly, unspoken words lingering in his mouth, she thought maybe she could let him. Maybe he could help her. He had before..._

_Maybe he could make it better._

_It would be so easy to let it happen. _

_So easy to lose herself in it. In that moment with him._

_So easy..._

_She wasn't sure who moved first, if it had been him or her, but she suddenly could feel his breath on her mouth. She could feel his lips brush hers. Hesitantly...gently...unsure. His heat consuming her, even though it matched her own._

_When she leaned forward just slightly...pushing up against her toes, taking his bottom lip between hers...the pain withdrew. The emptiness faded. She forgot about everything._

_And it felt so fucking good. _

_So good..._

_A feeling she could get used to..._

_But it only took a second for runaway thoughts to invade, for the red to recede. For it to be replaced with something else the moment her hands curled possessively around his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. The action filled with desperation...with _need_. For the rest of the day's events to obliterate the irrational haze that overcame her. Sam's words. Emily's face. Crimson on her hands. The pounding emptiness in her chest._

_What a similar need had cost her._

_Embry was suddenly too close._

_Her senses returned faster than she lost them, because if she didn't pull away...if she didn't leave...she would only hurt him._

_He would only hurt her too._

_So she did, a soft cry escaping her lips as soon as they separated from his. Her fingers curled into his wet shirt as she pushed him away, her gaze falling toward the floor. Refusing to see what he looked like in that moment. Trying to hide the moisture frantically gathering in the corners of her eyes._

"_Fuck, Embry, I can't..." she choked out, speaking to the floor beneath her, still hanging onto him. "I can't..._you_ can't. Dammit..."_

"_Leah..." She could feel his hands on hers, trying to get her to let go._

_She couldn't do that either..._

_But she did. She had to. _

_So one by one, her fingers unfurled, letting him go. Letting it all go._

"_If you want to help me," she was finally able to whisper, "you have to leave...please."_

_She could feel him retreat; hesitantly, but the step he took shot through her in the form of a vicious shudder as it ripped up her spine. Tearing her eyes from the floor, her hands curled into fists at her sides, finding his gaze just in time to see him nod._

_Just in time to see the sad, conflicted clouds in his eyes. Turning them black._

_His gaze fell. He took a step back._

"_I know...I'm sorry too." Another step. "If you...need me, you know where I'll be."_

_She nodded forlornly, eyes suddenly unable to find his. She'd almost done it. She'd almost made things worse, but she stopped it just in time. She'd pushed him away before it was too late. Before she'd done something else she would not have been able to undo._

_She walked away._

_Even if a part deep inside silently begged him to pull her back. To ask him to stay. To plead with him to help her. To help her forget. To fix this. _

_To fix _her_._

_But she didn't, because she knew it wouldn't work...because he was one of them, and there was nothing he _could_ do. _

_What was done was done. With Sam, with Emily, with him...and she would have to live with knowing. Knowing she could never let her guard down when one moment – one belonging to a world where she had no control – could take it all way._

_His footsteps echoed through the front entryway, the door opening and closing. It was only when she heard the sound of it latch, ricocheting through her like a gunshot, that she knew she was the only one who could fix it...just like Sam had told her to._

_She should have left._

_She still could..._

.

Embry lay awake, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling of his hotel room.

The sun was just starting to rise on the city outside, the muted glow of daylight filtering through the curtains of the terrace doors. He'd opened them earlier, suddenly needing the noise. Needing anything to drown out the thoughts he couldn't seem to shut off.

It hadn't really worked.

He didn't anticipate it, what seeing Leah for longer than a handful of moments would do. What it would bring back. What he would see once he finally had the chance.

Even when she smiled, it was all there on display.

Every single day she'd been away. Every single memory she was trying to hide.

And he could feel it all. How long it had been. How noticeable her absence was now that he was there. Now that he had seen her. How much he missed that confidence. That fire that left a gaping hole in the lives they led...the life he led...without her.

Even though the sparks were harder to see than they were then. Obscured by the demons she allowed to rest there instead.

It felt too familiar, like he'd seen it before...before she left home. The moment in her kitchen, before she'd asked him to leave too. Before he listened, the look in her eyes permanently burned into his memory. A look he hated.

Only now it was worse, and he shouldn't have walked away.

He should have told her she was worth it.

Because he couldn't forget, the person she was trying so hard to. The woman she had been. Where she belonged. How much she was needed.

_What she had left behind..._

Head falling to the side, Embry released a silent breath, eyes landing on the nightstand.

On his cell phone, sitting just within reach.

.

Leah's forehead pressed hard into her hands, elbows digging into her knees, cradling her head between her fingers.

With an exhausted sigh, she managed to look up after a few long moments. Glancing forlornly around the small, silent bathroom she'd locked herself in, her toes curled into the woven mat beneath her feet.

Her body was satiated. It ached, but not like it should have. It ached in places she didn't recognize...places she didn't know she had inside her. She was used to this happening when everything was over. She was used to the high receding, leaving next to nothing in its wake.

But there she was, hiding in a man's bathroom, because once the drugs faded – once her body had come from its natural high, the one she constantly chased – it left so much more behind than it normally did. When Jason rolled over, his breathing even after only a few moments, Leah laid on her back, naked and trembling, her chest heaving with suppressed breaths.

Remembering.

Coming down.

Crashing. Harder than she ever had before.

And she knew why.

She'd let her guard down. For a split second, sitting across that table from Embry, she'd let him in. Just like she had done years earlier. Except this time, she hadn't asked him to leave. She walked away, but not like she was supposed to. Instead, she'd left him with an open invitation to somehow work his way back into her life.

Just as she had that night in her kitchen back home.

He'd taken it. Six years later, he showed up.

And Leah was losing it. She was remembering _everything _because of it, and it was eating her alive all over again.

And it was so fucking easy. He made it _too easy_.

To remember _everything_.

To make her miss something she left behind, even if she didn't know what that something was.

It was exactly why she couldn't let him stay...because she didn't need it, whatever it was. She didn't _want_ it, to feel the way she was feeling, even if the tight ache in her chest told her something different.

Even if Embry – with his words and his smiles and those _exactly the same_ eyes that seemed to stare straight through her – had wanted her to feel differently too. Even if he'd asked her to without really saying a word.

The man, sleeping soundly on the other side of the bathroom door...what they had done...

That was who she was, and Embry couldn't look at her like that anymore. She would prove it to him.

She would prove it to _herself_.

Not a muscle in her body moved when her eyes fell on her phone, resting on the edge of the sink a few feet away. It had vibrated a while ago, the buzzing sending an anxious shiver through her body. Bringing one fist to her lips, she eyed it warily for several moments. At first, she wondered who it could be at that hour on a Sunday morning, even though she already had a feeling.

Despite the fact she already knew.

Lips pressed nervously together, her arm lifted from her thigh, finally reaching out. Curling around the phone and pulling it back to her.

It was her own fault...

She barely had to look at the screen to see the name, lit up like a warning sign. Reminding her how badly she screwed up the night before.

Drawing in a ragged breath, she pushed the button, displaying the message across the phone's screen.

_Thanks for last night. It really was great to see you._

The words were innocent. Amiable, but a reassurance nonetheless.

Affirming the fact she needed to do something about it.

That she needed to do better job. Better than she'd done the night before.

Better than she'd done six years ago.

Pulling her lip between her teeth, the phone poised between both hands, shaky fingers moved fluidly over the keypad...

_Yeah you too. Wednesday...do you have plans?_

Her thumb hesitated just before she hit send, eyes closing, heart pounding in her ears because in reality, there would be no going back from it.

Even though she held her breath, she lost it the moment she did.

Knowing history would be buried. Knowing the past would finally be pushed where it belonged.

The phone buzzed again in her hand.

_Not that I know of..._

Knowing if she did things her way this time, it would finally be over.

_You do now._

* * *

**The plot thickens... *cue ominous music...or something* ;)**

**So what do you think Leah is up to, hmm? How about what happened the night before she left La Push?**

**Sorry this chapter is so short (by my standards, at least). The next one should be big and meaty and will hopefully make up for it. :)**

**Can't wait to hear your thoughts!**


	5. Miss

_****____**Disclaimer: **____All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "A Bad Dream" by Keane, "I Guess I Miss(ed) You" by The Daylights, "Walk Away" by Sarah Fimm, "Winter" by Daughter**_

.

_He had no idea what he was doing. _

_Not one fucking clue._

_Yet standing in his Alpha's kitchen – hair __dripping_, water creating small puddles beneath his feet – it didn't matter. The fight became clear when Embry took one look at Sam's tired eyes...his too-calm face. He could feel the anger simmering just beneath his skin, wondering why he looked so collected. Wondering why the hell he was simply standing there.

"_Did you need something, Embry?" _

_Sam's deep, gravelly voice scratched viciously at Embry's already frayed nerves. His tone was agitated and defeated all in a single breath. Lips parting slightly, Embry had to swallow. He had to take a deep breath to push the knot back the rest of the way. To tame the red gathering in the corner of his eyes._

_He closed them..._

_Embry wasn't sure why, but before he could say it – the words he'd heard over the phone, pushed out despite the fact Seth Clearwater had tried to hide it, swallowing back silent, frustrated tears – he had to close his eyes. _

_To buy himself a moment._

_To let the red wash away beneath an ocean of darkness._

"_She...left."_

_The resigned sigh from across the room pricked at a place deep inside Embry. Something caused by the weight behind it. Proof of something Sam already knew...of a truth given to him long before Embry had decided to walk to his house, pushing through the rainy dawn with a determination that scared that shit out of him. Fueled by a desire to know what Sam planned to do about it..._

_How he planned to find Leah._

_How he planned to bring her home._

_Embry's jaw tightened inherently, remembering two days earlier. Remembering how she had been there. In front of him. How he'd stared into her eyes and watched as the life in them...the fire he'd always been drawn to...dwindled more and more as each moment passed. Threatening to disappear completely._

_Remembering how he tried to pull her back, even though he had no idea what he was doing. What he would start inside him, the taste of her lips still fresh on his, inhabiting every corner of his mind. _

_But she had slipped away the moment he let go, and no one had done anything to prevent it. To stop it._

_Himself included._

_Embry opened his eyes just in time to see Sam drop his own toward the floor. Avoiding the piercing accusation Embry couldn't seem to keep from his. He took a step away from him, toward the kitchen door. Almost like he was being pulled away from the spot where his feet rested._

"_I know."_

_The two barely-audible words were all it took for the tight knot gathering in the base of Embry's stomach to unravel, his limbs trembling as he brought both hands up, pushing thick fingers roughly through hair. He felt helpless, the intensity of it mixing dangerously with the frustration he felt toward the man standing across the kitchen. Embry's frame shook and he gritted his teeth, pulling in a deep breath through his nostrils. Trying like hell to calm down, despite the fact he could justify every single ounce of it. _

_No matter what, he wasn't wrong. To feel that way. To want to fight. To be that angry._

_Leah was gone._

_And Sam was just _fucking standing there_._

"_Why..." Embry pushed the word through clenched teeth. "Why are you just..._here_, Sam? I mean...why the hell aren't you looking for her?"_

_This time, Sam turned away from Embry._

_He _turned away...

_Embry took a step back, tremors rolling violently from his fingertips. At his sides, hands curled into fists as he tried like hell to control the shaking. _

_It only got worse. _

"_So that's it...you're just gonna let her go?"_

"_If she doesn't want to be here?…Yes." Sam still couldn't look him in the eye, his body leaning against the doorframe, one palm wrapping tightly around the aging wood. _

"_So is that what we do now?" Embry choked out, muscles tightening against the inherent heat consuming them. Fighting it off the best he could. "One of us messes up and the rest of the pack just abandons them? Even when you were the one who fucked this up in the first place..."_

_It didn't matter that Sam wasn't looking at him; Embry could still see him visibly wince as the words made their way across the space separating the two men. _

_Sam shook his head wildly, casting a glance toward Embry, to the doorframe in front of him and back to the floor. _

_Like a caged animal looking for a way out. _

"_She made it pretty clear she didn't want to be found," Sam finally spoke, his voice a low, controlled murmur, "and I can't...I can't see her right now, even if I could find her. Not after what..." Sam's words trailed off, his eyes squeezing shut, breath catching in his throat. The recollection of what happened playing out through his expression as it shifted, each memory painstakingly __passing_ behind closed lids.

"_So that's really it..." Embry snapped, the finality of the phrase grating at his better sense. Trying to understand but failing miserably. "Sam..._you_ made it clear. _You_ made her believe she wasn't wanted...that we didn't need her. _You_ made her believe that. _You_ told her to leave and then didn't come after her...to make things right. And now she's gone."_

_Embry wasn't sure what kind of reaction he was hoping to get from Sam, but whatever it was, he wasn't getting it. The Sam Embry knew wasn't there._

_The person standing in front of him was weak. Full of defeat. The love he used to exude when he talked about Leah – when others mentioned her – was gone, right along with the leader Embry had come to respect. _

_The man who always stood strong at the head of their pack – a champion of honor, responsibility, and love – was nowhere to be found._

"_I don't know what you want me to do, Embry..." _

_His mouth fell open at Sam's words, breath escaping his lungs in a swift rush. He wanted to tell him to go to hell. He wanted to phase and rip into him in a way he'd never felt before. In a way that was completely unlike him. He wanted to call him on failing the pack. On failing him._

_On failing Leah._

_But he never got the chance._

"_He wants you to go look for her, Sam..."_

_Embry's eyes snapped toward the kitchen doorway, lips parting in shock. _

_His body tensing even more when he saw Emily's small frame occupying the space several feet away. _

_She was wrapped tightly in a blanket, raven hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, one side of her delicate expression watching the scene in the kitchen._

_The other was obscured, hidden behind a white covering of bandages. Blocking a face Embry recognized but barely knew. One he didn't care about. Not yet, although it was becoming painfully clear in time he would have to._

_At least that's what he thought until her eyes met his, filled with a crippling guilt and resignation of her own. _

_Until he realized that in that moment, she was the only ally he had in that kitchen._

_She tried to smile at Embry, but the action was too much. Too difficult. Her eyes closed, features drooping beneath the pain. Lips parting slightly, she took a deep breath, gathering her strength and finding the courage somewhere inside her to say what she needed to._

_Turning her face, she pulled the blanket closer to her body, redirecting her meek smile to Sam._

"_And you should," she said in a sincere, insistent whisper. _

_By the time the sun was high in the sky that day, Emily was still at Sam's, sleeping soundly because of the medication the doctor had made her take. Her slumber masking both the pain and a forgiving heart Embry had not anticipated. _

_But he was long gone. _

_Four paws pushed into the muddy ground, wind intricately weaving its way through coarse fur. Heading north. Paying no mind to the flicker in the corner of his mind. To Sam's silent search as he headed southeast, his thoughts conflicted and his search half-hearted. _

_Embry only sped up, his determination fueled when he eventually saw a third path, followed by a fourth. As Seth and Jacob joined the search, the former tipping his snout toward the heavens. Releasing a call. A plea for help. An invitation, accepted when three more purposeful minds joined, instinctively linking with the others. _

_The collective strength of a cohesive pack – one with a single mission – tangible and complete._

_Except for one dark spot. One glaring absence. _

_One he couldn't shake. _

_One with its own strength._

_One that no matter what they did, no matter how fast or how far they ran, would never go away._

.

With a heavy sigh, Embry leaned against the light post, trying to watch the traffic driving by the place he stood. Trying like hell to avert his eyes each time he caught them drifting toward the entrance of the apartment building a sidewalk's distance away.

He was waiting. Breathing. Trying to remind himself that if Leah hadn't wanted to see him again, there was no way in hell she would have agreed to it. To dinner. To the concert they were going to that night. To any of it.

Embry knew that better than anyone.

They had searched more than once, always coming up empty-handed. Eventually, they all stopped looking. Giving up when they realized there was nothing else they could do. When they realized Sue Clearwater was never going to reveal her daughter's eventual whereabouts, always avoiding their stares and questions, reminding them sternly whenever they asked that regardless of how they felt, she was safe and alive. That when Leah was ready to come home – when she was ready to reclaim the life she left behind – she would.

Which made it all worse...the conflicting emotions twisting at Embry's insides. He was nervous. Exhilarated. Confused. Mostly though, he was surprised...how easy it had been. How willing she had been to _see_ him again, despite it all. Despite how much time had passed and how well she had remained hidden from everyone she left behind.

The truth was he expected more of a fight now that he'd found her, yet he hadn't even needed to ask. She beat him to it as his eyes read her text days earlier, his phone poised between his fingers, body frozen in the pale, early-morning light filtering through the curtains of his hotel room.

_Wednesday...do you have plans?_

He _definitely_ hadn't expected it to be that easy.

Regardless, he didn't question it because maybe what he'd seen that night at dinner was wrong. Maybe the conversation they shared had been enough.

Maybe this was his chance.

To make things right. To let her know she could quit running. To help her remember that even if she didn't need La Push...even if she didn't need them anymore...the people she left behind still cared about her.

Which was why he was there. Standing outside her apartment, waiting for her to come down.

Even if he had no idea how he was going to do it.

How he was going to convince her.

He was looking at the door again when his cell phone trilled from his pocket. Clearing his throat, almost like he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to, Embry straightened, hand diving into his pocket to retrieve the ringing phone. Pulling it out, he glanced at the caller ID before answering it.

Seth Clearwater.

Embry's breath hitched violently in his chest. Hesitating for a moment, he cast one last cursory glance toward the glass door. Shaking his head slightly, he answered the phone, choosing to turn his back on the building instead.

"Hey, Seth," Embry answered hurriedly, breath finally leaving him. He fought the urge to plug his free ear with his finger to block out the obtrusive noises of the city surrounding him.

"_Hey, man. What's up?"_

The sound of Leah's younger brother's voice pulled viciously at something inside of him. The fact he was standing just outside her apartment, waiting for her. The fact he had seen her...spent time with her.

But even though Seth knew Leah had been in Chicago, Embry let the words die silently on his tongue.

"Not much. Just heading out to grab a bite to eat," he lied effortlessly.

There was an awkward pause on the other end of the line, and Embry's brows pulled low over his eyes as he waited for Seth to say something.

"_So how...how did the meeting go on Monday?"_

Taking a deep breath, Embry found himself once again leaning against the light post, chewing ceaselessly on his lower lip. "It went good..." he ventured, staring at his feet. "Is that why you called?"

Seth's chuckle confirmed what Embry already knew.

"_No...It's not."_

"Alright, man, spit it out...what's going on?"

Embry found himself waiting again. Despite being twenty-one years old, Seth never really grew out of his quiet, awkward teenage demeanor. He was still painfully shy and didn't open up to many of his pack brothers, keeping a steel guard around his thoughts and feelings even when he was phased.

It had gotten worse the longer Leah stayed away.

Seth had taken it the hardest when Leah left. She was really the only person he ever confided in...the only person he talked to about anything, especially after their dad died of a heart attack just after she first phased. Despite Leah trying to pretend like her brother was a youthful inconvenience, she had never failed to step up and defend Seth – who was two years younger than Embry, Jacob and the others – when they picked on him. To pull him aside when the thick, contemplative clouds – caused when the burden of duty and a responsibility he was simply too young to bear – stole the youthful, easygoing smile from his face.

She had been his best friend.

For some reason, in his sister's absence, Seth had eventually turned to Embry. He eventually confided in him.

Embry only had a hunch why...

Because he knew a thing or two about being left behind. Being the bastard son of a man who never took the time to step up and claim the kid he never wanted, Embry knew what it was like to be the one left to pick up the pieces.

But how Seth felt wasn't about him, and Embry never made it that way. He never asked why.

At first, he was the only person Seth would talk to about his sister. How he felt after she took off. What it did to him to hear the news from his mother...not the person who _should_ have told him. How he had to watch Emily slowly step up, drifting into a role within the pack once occupied by his sister. How much he missed her and, on his worst days, how passionately he hated her at the same time.

Not for what she did to Emily...

Because she had left him too.

Embry understood, but he never talked badly about Leah. He never condemned her despite the venomous words that would sometimes fall from Seth's lips without restraint.

Seth's words didn't matter though. He wasn't fooling anyone...especially not Embry, who could see it in his eyes. Beneath the anger and hidden amid the frustration. He could see the way Seth's face crumpled every time he spoke a harsh word.

Seth didn't blame her leaving, but he simply wanted her to come home.

Embry knew that feeling, too...

Seth's heavy breath was sharp in Embry's ear, jerking him from his thoughts and back to the present.

"_I did it, man..."_

Blinking, Embry straightened instinctively, immediately throwing his full attention toward the conversation taking place between him and his pack brother a thousand miles away. "Did _what_, Seth?"

More silence. Embry could still hear Seth's anxiety-ridden exhales on the other end of the line, gathering the courage to speak the words he wanted to say.

"Seth..."

"_Look, Em, I'm sorry to bother you on your trip and all...I know you're busy, but I didn't know who else to call. I don't have anyone else to tell really since I already told Mom, so..."_

A smile tugged at the corner of Embry's mouth when Seth let his words drift off, pausing for response. "You mean you couldn't even get Quil to listen to you?"

"_Yeah, right...we both know he's got the attention span of a golden retriever."_

Embry chuckled, peering quickly over his shoulder. "Good point. Alright, so...spill it. What did you do?"

This time, Seth sucked in a lungful of air before he let the words fall out in a rush.

"_I asked Grace to marry me..."_

Seth's declaration knocked the breath from Embry's chest, and he slumped against the light pole in shock.

_Grace..._

Seth's imprint.

Embry should have seen it coming. He should have anticipated what Seth was going to say. Better yet, the tiny shred of excitement Embry felt for him should have been bigger, considering Seth had already told him he was going to do it. He had stood in Embry's living room only a couple weeks earlier, sputtering and stammering until he finally pulled the modest ring out of his pocket and begged him for any advice he had to give.

In that moment though, there were too many other considerations...where Embry was, where he was standing.

Who he was waiting for.

And that stronger, more overwhelming truth nagged at him. It scratched at his insides, reminding him he _shouldn't_ have been the person Seth called next.

Embry let his head fall back against the light post, pressing the phone harder to his ear. He let a genuine but entirely too small smile spread across his lips.

"So did she say yes?"

"_I barely got the words out of my mouth before she was yelling and crying..."_

Letting his eyes fall back to the pavement, Embry took a breath. "That's great, man...I told you she would. I'm happy for you."

"_Yeah, I'm not sure why I was so nervous. I don't know what we're doing, but Grace kinda wants to have the wedding soon...before the summer is over and everything gets crazy. Before the new garage opens, before Bella has the baby. That's all I know, but..."_

Embry allowed Seth's words to shift into a silence between the two, at the same time letting his gaze tip toward the sky. Scanning over the facade of the apartment building he was standing in front of. He took another necessary breath before he pushed his own question past the tightening in his throat.

"Have you told Leah yet?"

Seth's sigh was audible and resigned.

"_No...not yet."_

Embry swallowed. "You need to call her, man. She's missed a lot...but you're getting married. Maybe this will be the one thing she won't want to miss."

"_Yeah...maybe."_

In that moment, Embry's phone vibrated in his hand. Stomach twisting anxiously, he pulled it away from his ear long enough to peer at the name on the screen.

"Seth, I got another call coming in. Can I talk to you later?"

"_Yeah, dude. Just wanted to tell you the news. Have fun, and um...enjoy Chicago."_

"Thanks, man, I will," Embry smiled before lowering the phone and pushing the end call button. Moving his fingers over the keys, he reminded himself to keep breathing. Pushing Seth's news to the back of his mind for that moment, reading the text as it popped up on the small, illuminated screen.

_Be down in a few... _

.

Leah's hands shook as she turned the key in her lock, unnecessarily checking it twice to make sure it was actually locked before releasing her grip on the door handle.

With a deep breath, she turned, making her way across the hallway to the elevator in her building. The phone in her hands felt like a lead weight as she leaned against the back wall, watching as the doors closed in front of her.

A dinging noise registered somewhere in the distance as the elevator lowered, her eyes finally doing the same, falling on the phone. His text message from earlier still there.

_Out front. See you in a minute._

Leah's stomach wrenched violently, her nerves on fire. If she could have slowed down time – if she could have avoided Wednesday coming altogether – she would have. Work had proved a miserable distraction, and it seemed like every ten minutes she was checking her phone. Wishing for some kind of message to come through, a small part of her hoping it wouldn't have to come to this. That maybe Embry would come to his senses on his own and realize what she desperately hoped he would.

That he needed to leave her alone. That he needed to go home.

But he hadn't, and she hadn't heard from him until that morning. A short phone call asking where she lived and what time he was supposed to be there.

Leah closed her eyes, the words on her phone burned behind her eyelids, swallowing back the reality of it. He wasn't going home, at least not right away, and there was nothing she could do to change that. Yet she knew she could have simply asked him to leave her be and he probably would have listened.

It wouldn't be enough. She'd asked him before, but there he was. Downstairs. Waiting for her.

Refusing to go.

Still.

Leah's eyes jerked up the moment the doors opened and her feet moved forward, walking into the building's small entryway. Taking a deep breath, she held it, pushing through the glass doors leading to the street.

He was standing near the curb, one hand shoved lazily in his jeans pocket, his attention on the phone resting in the other. Wearing a simple black t-shirt that clung to his arms and midsection, his clothing highlighted a frame that had continued to fill out over the years. Leah paused for a moment, letting her eyes take him in. The way lean, defined muscles moved when he shifted his arms, the bob of his Adam's apple when he swallowed, just below that strong, pronounced jaw.

He was unaware of her, completely lost in what he was doing.

She let her eyes linger on the contours and lines of his body, leaning lazily against a light post.

_Knowing if things went her way..._

The knot in her stomach flared, and for a moment – just a moment – she considered turning around. Changing her mind. Leaving him out of this life she desperately didn't want him to be a part of.

Even if it was the only way to drive him away.

He chose the same moment to look up, his gaze finding hers. The hand holding the phone dropped to his side, slipping it into his pocket as a small smile spread across his lips.

"Hey," he murmured, the light from the street lamp above him bathing his face in almost ethereal glow.

Swallowing thickly, Leah tried pushing down the tangible unease within, swearing silently at her inability to get a handle on it. This wasn't part of the process. This wasn't something she had to work through...ever.

But she smiled anyway.

"Hey," she repeated, taking a step toward him.

It was his turn to let his eyes sweep over her frame. She'd opted for something more casual for the concert she was taking him to – black shorts that clung to her curves and highlighted long, slender legs. A loose-fitting cream-colored tank top that accentuated the copper hue of her skin. Simple jewelry. Ebony hair cascading in loose curls down her back and shoulders.

Except that time he didn't say anything, and she ignored how that same gaze made her feel...too much like it did the night at dinner.

Instead, he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, fighting a widening smile. His eyes snapped back up to meet hers. "Ready to go?"

She nodded, taking one last deep breath – knowing it would have to last – before she pointed down the street. "So the venue is only a few blocks that way. I figured maybe we could walk."

It was Embry's turn to nod, his hands once again finding a home in his pockets. "Sure."

The pair walked in silence for a minute, the only sound coming from Leah's heels on the concrete beneath them. Eyes closing, Leah searched her mind for something to say. Questions to ask, only a few immediately coming to mind...

_The first meeting he had with the investor. His mom. How she was doing. If he had checked out the Museum of Science yet... _

None of it was right.

"So...good news..."

Lifting her head, Leah held tighter to her clutch, looking to her left to find Embry already watching her. His eyes were soft, his expression filled with a subdued excitement. One she could see by the way his eyes danced when they looked at her.

She raised her eyebrows expectantly, even though she already had a feeling she knew what he was about to say.

"The meeting Monday went...well," he continued, his gaze trained ahead of him as the smile once again played at his lips.

Leah's eyebrows arched expectantly. "Just well?"

Embry shrugged, his hands still in his pockets. "I met with the guy's lawyer and with a couple people on their finance team. We went over numbers, the business plan, all the fun stuff..." He glanced at her briefly before looking away. "And they liked what I had to say. They only want to take forty percent, which was kind of a relief..."

Fingers playing with the hem of her tank top, a knowing smile threatened to overtake her expression. "So I was right," she breathed knowingly.

Next to her, Embry chuckled. "You were right," he repeated. "I think it's good news. We have another meeting scheduled for Friday, only this time I get to meet with the head guy himself."

Raising one eyebrow, Leah watched him. The modest pride he wore on his features, how the corners of his mouth were turned into an easy smile. "That's great, Em...," she finally said. "You got past the hard part. The legal flak and number crunchers are usually the hardest to win over."

"I know," he said quickly. "Jake was pretty relieved when I told him. If things keep going good, we might be able to get the money and get started before Bella has the baby..."

Leah's steps faltered slightly at his words, the reality of each one registering somewhere inside her. She hadn't really thought about it until that moment – the fact he had probably been talking to Jacob on a regular basis since she and Embry first ran into one another.

A subtle fear panged in her gut, and she eyed Embry warily. "You haven't...told him, have you?"

Peering down at the ground, Embry shook his head. "No, I haven't told him you're here." He lifted his gaze, watching her hesitantly in return. "I haven't told anyone."

Leah let out a soft sigh of relief, footsteps ceasing when her eyes fixed on the stoplight, waiting for the walk signal. "Thank you," she murmured, refusing to look at him that time.

Beside her, she could hear Embry's feet shuffle on the concrete as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Like he was buying himself time for something.

Leah swallowed thickly.

"You know...Seth said he might come work for me if we get the money for the second shop...," he ventured hesitantly.

Stomach lurching at the mention of her brother's name, Leah tried to suppress the urge to grimace, a part of her suspecting Embry had brought Seth into the conversation on purpose. That he was pushing the boundaries she'd set the night outside the Park Hyatt. While she made an attempt to talk to her mother every few months, it had been even longer since she last talked to Seth.

It was something she tried not to think about...how long it had really been. How she had called her mother one day. How after talking to her for a handful of minutes, Leah asked to talk to her brother, only to have her mother tell her with a painful and tired sigh that he was busy and couldn't come to the phone.

Leah had asked that Seth call her back.

He never had.

She tried not to let it bother her but on her worst days it didn't matter how much she pushed. No matter how much she tried to ignore it. She lost count of the number of times she sat cross-legged on her bed with her cell phone in her hands, wanting to call him. Staying like that. Frozen, only to put down the phone when she realized she would never dial the numbers.

Because if he wanted to talk to her, he would have called her back.

But he hadn't, and the only reason Leah could come up with was that he'd finally had enough.

That he'd finally decided to not forgive her for leaving.

_Just another thing she tried not to think about..._

She hated herself for it...for letting it get to that point. For not doing anything about it because the only thing she could do would mean going back to the very thing she spent every day trying to escape.

Swallowing, Leah blinked frantically as the sidewalk came into focus. She nodded as the walk light flashed. "I'm glad you guys are taking care of him."

She finally ventured a glance at Embry, meeting his eyes. "We don't do that much," he admitted, looking away. "He's a good kid, Leah."

He was pushing, gently but harder, and Leah had to fight back the burn inside her. Knowing it wouldn't help a single thing at that point. Inhaling deeply, she peered over at him. Smiling when he met her eyes.

Ending the discussion.

Attempting to change the subject to something that didn't reek of regret and shame.

"He always was," she pushed the words out.

Another handful of silent moments passed. She could almost hear Embry contemplating beside her, his breaths uneven and heavy. Unsure and anxious.

"When's the last time you talked to him?"

Blinking, Leah threw a glance toward the street. Away from him, so maybe the words would get lost when she spoke them.

"It's been awhile," was all she could give him.

They had just rounded the corner – dozens of bodies lining up outside the venue for the concert, the queue of people finally visible – when he spoke again.

"He misses you, you know."

The words were too much, and Leah almost stopped walking, feet heavy and her mind suddenly frazzled by Embry's words. He was doing it again. Pushing. Making her remember. Finding one small chink in impenetrable armor and hammering at it. Incessantly, while hardly saying anything at all.

"Things haven't been the same around home since you left, Leah..."

"I'm sure they've been better..." The self-admonishing words tumbled from her mouth before she could think. "One less person going batshit crazy and disfiguring faces."

Her lips barely closed before she heard him.

"Leah..."

It took her a moment for his voice to register inside her head. For her to realize what she said, and what it probably meant to him when she said it, knowing the words went against every claim she made of being fine.

To notice he had stopped walking.

She finally hesitated a second later, turning to face him. Her name falling from his mouth a plea she'd heard before.

Embry's face was creased with a heavy concern when she looked back at him, and she took a heavy, dismayed breath, buying herself time. Trying to come up with something to say to smooth over the tension she'd caused completely on her own.

With a sigh, she held his gaze, her lips parting as she finally found the strength to speak. "Listen...I miss him too, Embry. But I'm not going back."

She tried to ignore the small, knowing smile that pulled at the corner of his mouth. "Never asked you to," he replied quietly. "Just making conversation."

Fidgeting uncomfortably, Leah's fingers curled tighter around her clutch. "I know..." she murmured. "But let's leave home at home, okay?" She swallowed, relaxing her expression. Trying like hell to soften the lines around her mouth and eyes. Smiling. "Let's just enjoy tonight...me and you."

His face was expressionless as he watched her intently, jaw tightening, and for a split second, she thought maybe he had seen it. Maybe the moment she slipped and put that damage on full display had been enough.

Maybe it would be Embry who changed his mind.

For a quick, inexplicable moment, she found herself wildly hoping he wouldn't. The feeling disappearing almost as quickly as it came.

He smiled anyway, the simple gesture causing her arms to tingle and inexplicably go cold.

"Okay."

* * *

**Alright, guys...hopefully this chapter didn't seem too uneventful, but it actually was pretty important. I had a lot more slated for this one but it was giving me hell and I decided to split it into two to keep it from becoming stupidly long (not that you would have complained, haha). **

**Also, sorry it was a little late this week. My best friend got married this weekend and I was in the wedding, so I was crazy busy these past four days. On that note, maybe I'll get the next one up a little sooner than scheduled. ;)**

**Anyway...what did you think of this one? Can't wait to hear your thoughts!**


	6. Closer

_****__****____**Disclaimer: **______All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "Siren" by Tori Amos, "This Is The Thing" by Fink, "Landfill" by Daughter, "Closer" by Kings of Leon**_

The club where the concert was being held was already packed with bodies by the time Leah and Embry made it inside. Hugging her clutch tightly to her chest, Leah could feel Embry's overpowering presence directly behind her, fingers protectively brushing against her elbow. He clasped it lightly, clearly not giving it much thought as she navigated through the thick crowd.

She let him.

By some miracle, she managed to find a small, empty table near the edge of the floor. The band – a local group that happened to be one of her favorites – was already on stage, playing the first song in a set list she had heard before.

It was a familiar setting. She'd come here once before...with Jason. Back in the beginning. In a rare moment where loneliness won out above everything else.

It was another good place to forget. The lights were low, the music was good, and the drinks were affordable.

"I'm gonna go grab a couple drinks!"

Blinking, Leah turned, eyes focusing on Embry who was looking at her expectantly. His brows lifted before he leaned in closer, trying to be heard over the music. "What do you want?"

Finally releasing her unyielding grip on her clutch, Leah offered him a small smile as she placed it on the smooth tabletop.

_It still wasn't difficult..._

"Whiskey and water. Thanks."

Leah watched him go, his tall figure easy to follow in the crowd before it was swallowed by the throngs of bodies packed onto the floor, some dancing, others simply bouncing and raising their glasses to the ceiling. She let her eyes sweep the area surrounding her. The air reeked of stale alcohol and sweat, and flashing colored lights illuminated the floor, leaving spots in her vision whenever she looked away.

Leah took a deep breath, inhaling sharply through her teeth. Closing her eyes, her hands wrapped around the edge of the table, trying like hell to find her bearings. To push back the abrupt but rattling conversation they had outside. How Embry seemed to know the exact times to push and just the right moments to pull back.

It was like he knew something she didn't. Like he _saw_ something she didn't.

She wasn't sure what game he was playing...or what he was hoping to accomplish...but pulling in a lungful of air, little by little, she could feel her determination regrouping. She meant what she said to him, and whatever it was he had planned, she was putting an end to it.

That night.

She had gone this long, and there was no room in her life for him. For any of it. Not anymore.

But it didn't stop his words from echoing somewhere in the back of her mind. Scratching. Annoying. Unyielding.

_He misses you, you know..._

_Things haven't been the same since you left, Leah..._

Leah didn't have time to overthink it. She didn't have time to try to figure it out, because she could hear a familiar voice behind her. One that was still too far away and one she shouldn't have been able to hear, but one she was able to anyway.

A voice calling her name.

"Leah!"

It took only a second to recognize its owner.

Her lips pressed into a determined line, Leah waited a moment before peering over her shoulder, greeted by a huge smile approaching her from several feet away. The expression was framed by bobbing crimson red hair, the person who owned both pushing her way through the people toward the table Leah occupied.

"I didn't know you were gonna be here!"

Autumn's voice was clearer as she drew closer, throwing her hands up in surprise, closing the distance between them.

"Hey," Leah greeted her assistant hesitantly, her eyes falling on a strange man trailing a couple feet behind Autumn. He grinned at her in return, one hand lifting in an amicable, subtle wave.

Autumn's jubilant laughter filled the space between them, easily rising above the noise of the venue. "I also didn't know you liked this band..." Her gaze left Leah's, eyebrows arching expectantly before glancing over her shoulder and surveying the space surrounding them. "Are you here alone?"

Swallowing back the sudden ball of flames in her throat, Leah shook her head, forcing her hand to motion toward the bar. Suddenly hoping there was either a long line to get drinks or Embry would take his time. She didn't want to have to explain him to Autumn. To answer her questions come morning.

"No, I'm here with a friend," she choked out.

Unfazed, Autumn's eyebrows stayed where they were, a pleased look flickering across Autumn's rosy face. "That's awesome, Lee. You're the last person I expected to run into here, but I'm glad I did." Autumn let her eyes linger happily on Leah before they suddenly went wide, remembering the man standing behind her. "Oh, shit! Leah, this is my boyfriend, Connor."

Letting her mouth relax into a friendly smile, Leah took a step forward, offering her hand to the man hovering a few feet back. He took it, giving her hand a light shake. "Nice to meet you, Leah. Autumn talks about you a lot."

Leah chuckled, holding the man's steady gaze. "I can only imagine..."

Connor winked from behind his thick, black-rimmed glasses. "Only good things."

"Of _course_ good things!" Autumn gave his arm a playful slap. "This woman is too good at her job. If I ever spoke bad about her, she'd have no trouble making me disappear," she joked just before her eyes drifted aimlessly over Leah's shoulder.

Laughing, Leah's eyes fell to the floor, staring at the toe of her shoe. "Well, you know that would never happen because then I'd have to replace you, and we both know you're one of the few people in this city who can put up with some of our clients..."

Autumn peered at Leah when her eyes lifted, cheeks pushing up her own red glasses before looking back to the spot over her shoulder.

Leah's stomach wrenched, her assistant's distracted gaze proving that her hopes had gone unanswered.

Releasing a heavy sigh, she allowed herself to look, the smile fading from her lips.

Embry was standing just behind her, one elbow leaning against the table, her drink resting in his hand. He was watching her. When her eyes met his, he reached out with a smirk, nonchalantly offering her the whiskey and water.

"You need to make more noise," Leah grumbled, fighting her smile's imminent return as she took the glass from him.

"You need to listen better," he teased back as she turned away from him. It didn't matter though. She heard his footsteps that time, his body moving so it was directly beside her. Not waiting for introductions as he offered his hand to Autumn, who gaped at it for a moment. Her eyes lingered before she silently snapped to her senses, taking his hand in hers, Embry's copper skin contrasting sharply with Autumn's milky white flesh.

Leah didn't miss the flabbergasted squeak escape Autumn's throat, words failing her.

"I'm Embry..."

Autumn was still staring, and Leah had to fight the urge to roll her eyes.

"And you are?"

Leah could almost imagine how high that eyebrow of his was. She didn't look, instead letting her own eyes bore holes through Autumn. It was something she had once been used to but nothing she had seen in awhile. Shaking her head, she eventually glanced at Connor, who seemed oblivious to the entire awkward greeting playing out in front of him.

"Oh!" Autumn suddenly found her voice, overdoing it as she continued to shake Embry's hand. "I'm Autumn...Autumn Gallagher. I'm Leah's assistant at the firm."

"Oh, so you work together?" Embry asked, one curious eyebrow still raised.

"Yup," Autumn confirmed as Embry took another step forward, moving past her as he quickly introduced himself to Connor. Autumn took that moment to glower at Leah, her jaw dropping as she gaped at her in stunned silence. Leah wasn't sure, but she was pretty sure she caught the younger woman mouthing the words _oh my god_.

That time, Leah did roll her eyes.

"So how do you two know each other?" Autumn pressed on, ignoring the cold warning stare Leah was positive she was giving her. Autumn allowed a coy grin to spread across her mouth, eyes flitting back and forth between Leah and Embry.

Embry lowered his gaze, hesitantly glancing at the floor before his eyes found Leah's. Her lips parted slightly, the words refusing to come as the music from the band drowned out any coherent thought she tried to string together. Still, it didn't mask what she was afraid of. Why she wanted to avoid this.

It also didn't disguise the fact that even though it shouldn't have mattered, she didn't really know _what_ Embry was to her anymore.

_A friend...a pack brother...the guy who once pulled over to pick her up off the side of the road._

_The shy, insecure boy who kissed her in her kitchen..._

None of it really applied. Not anymore.

Her mouth dry, words completely lost, Embry took a deep breath, his smile staying where it was when he turned back to Autumn. Answering for Leah.

"I'm a friend from home," he answered swiftly. Confidently. Barely missing a beat, like that word...that distinction...was something he never questioned.

It made her stomach ache, the guilt a thick knot gathering in her throat.

Swallowing it down, Leah looked at Autumn just in time to see her nod slowly, her eyes flicking curiously toward Leah and back to Embry. "And where's that exactly?" she asked tentatively, quietly, leaning into Connor. Almost as if she was afraid of Leah's reaction once she heard the question.

Embry's lips parted in surprise, his brows lifting in subtle shock. He glanced at Leah, a million questions suddenly running through those dark eyes as each one knocked the breath from her lungs.

Leah had to look away.

She meant it. She never talked about home. Not to Autumn. Not to anyone.

But in that moment, Embry didn't seem to care.

In that moment, he decided to push.

She could feel him look away, her breath returning the second his eyes were somewhere else.

"La Push," he answered promptly, offering Autumn a half-smile. "It's a small reservation on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington. I'm surprised Leah's never told you about it."

Leah caught herself grinding her teeth together when Autumn shrugged nonchalantly at Embry's question. "Her favorite subject is work..." Autumn replied playfully. "She usually doesn't talk about much else." Glancing at her, Autumn offered Leah a smile and a subtle wink.

When Embry returned the laugh, Leah couldn't help the groan that slipped past her lips. "I'm still here, you know," she reminded, releasing her own nervous laugh.

Autumn let her eyes drop sheepishly, letting her shoulders rise and fall once again. "Sorry, boss lady. I'm just kind of intrigued." She was staring at Leah again, one hand propped lazily on her hip while the other clasped the bottle in her hand. "I meet this guy and I automatically think he's the one person who can help me figure out the mystery that is Leah Clearwater. I've been waiting almost a year for this moment, you know."

Embry's hearty laugh beside her had Leah shaking her head, a grin threatening the corners of her mouth.

"Seriously though," Autumn pressed, turning her wide eyes on Embry to Leah and back again. "I feel like I don't know any of those things about you, so...that's really interesting. To hear more about you came from, I mean."

"That's too bad..." Embry's voice was low, and Leah caught herself wondering if anyone had heard him but her. She raised her eyes, meeting his. Finding him already watching her, a small smile still attached to his lips.

"So how long are you in town, Embry?"

It took a moment for him to hear Autumn, for Leah's eyes to unknowingly release him. When he did, he was staring at his own feet, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "A couple weeks," he replied quietly. "I flew in last Friday for work."

Autumn smiled, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Well, I hope you have fun while you're here. Chicago's great," she insisted.

Embry nodded, silently agreeing with her, but didn't speak another word. No one moved, the sounds of the club wrapping around each of them and drowning out the silence. It wasn't until Connor stepped forward, nodding with a polite smile, his fingers curling around Autumn's arm.

"Well, it was nice meeting you both," he murmured. Autumn responded with a quick breath, jerking her head to look at him, almost like she realized she and Connor were beginning to overstay their welcome.

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you, Embry," she said hurriedly before glancing at Leah. "You two have fun." Her back was turned, Connor clasping her hand tightly before she called over her shoulder. "Hey, find us later if you're still here! We'll hit up the Golden Nugget for pancakes. Nothing better to soak up the booze..."

With a wink, Autumn was gone.

Shaking her head, Leah chuckled as she closed her eyes, bringing her glass to her lips and taking a drink. Returning it to the table, her eyes opened to the sound of it hitting the table beneath her forearms.

Embry was already watching her. The curiosity gone, replaced by a deep concern that made her shift uncomfortably in her place.

Leah sighed, silently wondering how the fuck he always managed to do that.

"So it probably shouldn't surprise me you don't talk about home to anyone here either..."

Shrugging, Leah let her stare lower to the drink in front of her, fingers playing absentmindedly with the straw. "What can I tell them?" she responded pointedly, the defeat leaking through her tone. Refusing to look at him. "That I'm Quileute? That I used to be a person who morphed into a giant dog?" Finally looking up, her eyes narrowed insistently. "I don't _do_ that anymore, Embry. It's not who I am, so even if I could tell people about it...why would I?"

Embry's mouth opened, almost like he was going to push it, but Leah watched his jaw relax. As he thought better about it, remembering his promise to her standing outside the venue. To leave home out of it.

But he'd already broken that promise, and was far from letting it go completely.

"You know, she makes it sound like you don't have friends here."

Leah ran one hand through her hair distractedly, his subdued pressure causing that same heat she felt standing on the curb outside Blackbird to materialize in her limbs. To simmer just beneath her skin, craving some kind of release.

Reassuring her once again that if things went her way, she'd find it...somehow.

First, she had to get things back on track.

Doing her best to distract herself, Leah stabbed at the ice in her glass. Avoiding his eyes, knowing it would only make things worse. "I have friends," she lied, "just not as many as Autumn wants me to have apparently. I was never any good at making friends, Em. You know that."

She could almost hear Embry's sigh from across the table. "That's not what I remember..."

Leah couldn't stop the scoff that fell from her lips, unable to avoid Embry's gaze any longer. She met his eyes, leaning her forearms harder against the table as she watched him.

"That was six years ago, Embry. No one stays the same after six years," she replied earnestly, her sincerity pulling her closer to him. "I grew up...and I'm fine with what I have."

She closed her mouth, still watching Embry.

Realizing quickly he wasn't going to budge. She could see it in those eyes. Never-changing. Steady. Forgiving in the worst possible way.

Still looking at her exactly the same way. Before she said it. Before it _all_. Before she left. Before she messed everything up.

Almost like he didn't believe a single word she was saying.

It made her livid that he seemed so sure of himself, rendering her speechless at exactly the same time. She had realized it before, but it slammed home for her in that moment.

She had no idea how to deal with this version of Embry.

While she sat there, telling him how she changed, she could see how much he had changed as well. How his boyish shyness had turned into a subtle, intense confidence. How the passivity of youth had evaporated, replaced by something else. By a quiet resolve. A desire to keep himself there, right where he was.

Only reinforcing one thing. What she planned to do...

She no longer had a choice.

_It was now or never._

And even though it was going to be hard, it had to be done. She had to _hurt_ him because that gentle soul was still there. She could see it clearly..._always_...peering back at her through those fucking onyx eyes.

She closed hers, doing the only thing she could think of. Looking away. Avoiding.

_Again_.

Allowing herself to try one last time. To give him a reason – a solid, tangible reason – to walk away. To make him believe it was _his_ choice, even though by that point it felt like she was grasping at straws.

"You need to stop looking at me like that..."

Embry blinked, leaning closer to her, his face expressionless. "Like what?"

"Like running into me last week was the best thing that ever happened to you," she admitted quietly. "Because it probably woulda been better had you not."

"Why do you say that?"

"I can fucking _see_ it, Embry," she responded sharply. "You think you need me in your life...in the pack's life, for whatever reason...but you don't."

Embry's sigh grated at her nerves.

"Did someone tell you that?"

"They don't have to..." she answered resolutely, somehow standing her ground. Somehow managing to hold his eyes.

He never faltered. He never showed any sign of backing down.

Instead, it was his turn to lean forward, his eyebrows disappearing under a fringe of ebony hair. "If they didn't tell you that...if _I_ didn't tell you that...then how do you know?"

Breath catching in her throat, Leah's fingers curled around the edge of the table. Harder, until she had to remind herself to ease up. To let go. "I already told you," she replied hastily. "The person you keep talking about? I left her behind...I left her that night in my kitchen."

"Leah..."

Heart pounding against her ribs, she swallowed past the thick knot in her throat. Ignoring how he was countering everything she was throwing at him. How he was still crawling painstakingly under her skin, rooting himself there in a way she couldn't handle.

How he said her name. With a care and a grace she wasn't used to.

_The same way he always had..._

"You don't have to believe me," she whispered, interrupting him. "But you should, if you know what's good for you..."

But he wasn't buying it, and even if Leah hadn't been able to tell by the eerie calm on his face – by the certainty in his smile – it became all too clear when he leaned toward her, closing the gap. Eliminating the air and the noise between them so she would be sure to hear.

"Why don't you let me decide what's good for me, Leah..."

Even the music wasn't loud enough to drown out the throbbing of her heart in her ears. To mask the way the words gathered in the pit of her stomach, exploding, fanning through her limbs in the form of a vicious shudder.

She could feel his breath on her skin. On the side of her face...

And she knew he could feel her too. How she was responding to him.

Embry spoke first, causing her eyes to flutter open.

"I think about that night sometimes," he admitted, quieter that time, barely loud enough for her to hear his voice over the music. "In your kitchen..."

Leah swallowed, her pulse racing impossibly faster, heart sinking at the same time. His words striking something within, confirming what she already knew. Knowing he wasn't going to take the opportunity...that he wouldn't make the choice.

She pushed it away.

Brushing off the sudden anxiety twisting in her stomach, she replayed his words.

No matter how much he meant them, no matter how she responded to each one, he had set things up for her perfectly.

Which meant she had to answer him. She had to give him her own words. Ones she didn't really want to say – not when he was looking at her like that – because in that moment, he would believe them without question. He would take them to heart. They would _mean_ something to him.

Even if, somehow, they would not be a lie.

Taking a deep breath, she could feel the prominent chill bumps on her arms. How close his hand was to hers on top of the table.

Holding the air in her lungs, she let one finger reach out. Brushing carefully...affectionately...across his knuckles.

Letting a smile spread across her lips.

Rehearsed...

_Yet still real._

She said the words anyway.

"Me, too."

She saw him smile, noticing when he took a step back, his hand slowly disappearing from beneath hers. Pulling himself away from the table. Her fingers curled into a fist, unable to hear anything except the music surrounding them.

She watched him anyway. Letting her eyes sweep over the softness of his face, the candor in it. The ripple of relief that passed over his expression at her gesture. Her admittance.

_It was done..._

And for some inexplicable reason, it killed her.

He looked away first, hand wrapping around his empty glass before saying something she didn't hear. Before stepping away, his gaze lingering before turning his back, once again disappearing into the crowd.

Leah took her first breath in what felt like hours.

Like always, doing her best to steel herself. To get rid of the goose bumps. To wish away the warmth that still lingered on the tip of her finger. The way it heated her insides.

"Dammit..."

It didn't matter who Embry was...what he had once done for her. What he was doing now. When it was all over, he would be gone, and she'd never have to look into those eyes again. She'd never have to see what she'd done, the mistakes she made.

The means would justify the end, and she'd never be reminded of what she left behind.

One last time, Leah closed her eyes. Centering herself, the last traces of him were pulled inward, and she let her surroundings filter through all five senses until she was aware of everything around her. The energy of it tingling beneath her skin, filling her, reminding her that what she carried within...what she exuded to those around her, drawing them in...was so much more than human.

No matter how much of it she'd given up, she would always have that...and it had always served its purpose.

_Just as it would tonight..._

Lips parting, Leah took a step back from the table.

Moving toward the dance floor, she waited. To be there when Embry came looking. She didn't know where he was, but she knew he'd be back soon...because she could feel it starting.

She could feel _him_...somewhere.

It was the same unmistakable feeling she got whenever a random pair of eyes sought her out in a Friday-night crowd. How her pulse sped up, skin crawling just slightly. Her awareness heightened to a level impossible to any woman except her.

Pushing everything else from her mind...

_He had already found her._

Closing her eyes inherently, she could feel it...her body responding to his eyes, somewhere in the mess of people descending on the dance floor.

He was watching.

Wherever he was, he was watching _her_.

When the band started playing its next song – a heady, slower number – the crowd fluidly transitioned with it, some abandoning the floor while other bodies drew closer to each other, arms sliding around waists and legs slipping between thighs.

Leah stayed where she was. Alone. Her strong, sensual frame taking a single step forward. The lights overhead reflecting off her glistening flesh, a thin sheen of sweat already forming on the surface of her skin.

The breath Leah took was shaky, air pushing something foreign through her veins. Bringing her hand up, she ignored how her fingers trembled when she traced the curve of her neck. Palm brushing the smooth, copper skin of her chest, eventually resting on her stomach.

She still didn't know if it would work. She didn't know if he'd respond the same way the others had. Each and every one of them had been predictable...easy. Strangers who played into her game without a second thought.

Embry wasn't _them_.

Embry wasn't a stranger.

But Leah didn't have time to think. She didn't have time to question, glancing carefully over her shoulder to see him gingerly pushing his way through the crowd, a new drink in his hand.

Still watching her...

Before she turned away, she let her eyes catch his.

_One..._

Long enough for his footsteps to stop. Long enough for lips to part slightly, his intense gaze locked unforgivingly with hers. Long enough for her to stomach to churn uncomfortably beneath everything else.

_Two..._

Long enough for Leah to take inhale deeply, offering him a smile she saved only for moments she needed it most.

_Three..._

He smiled back...

That same soft smile that punched a hole straight through her, twisting her nerves in endless, inexplicable knots. She couldn't drop her gaze. She counted to four...to five...her own smile receding before she finally reached six, managing to rip her eyes away.

_Too long..._

Leah was shaking by the time she turned her back to him, instinctively closing her eyes, her body remaining still as she took one last calming breath. Letting the music filter through her ears and spread through her veins, eventually begging her body to respond. To move to its rhythm.

She complied effortlessly, both hands skimming softly over her thighs, hips finally swaying with the music. Her movements slow. Subtle. _Seductive_. A silent invitation to whomever cared to join.

There was only one she wanted.

Leah could hear him drawing closer, her frame sweeping lithely from side to side, arms lifting gracefully above her head. Curves caressed the thick, charged air surrounding her.

She could pick out his scent among it all. A rich musk...a delicate sweetness laced with the slightest hint of pine and sea.

_The scent of home._

Heart pounding, it kept time to the music as it picked up speed. As the chorus grew in both volume and intensity, echoing her movements. As she fought the urge to open her eyes and look behind her.

She didn't need to...

Leah's lips parted when the same scent was suddenly right behind her, consuming her. A familiar heat encroaching on the space her pliant body occupied, lush curves moving easily to a steady, intoxicating beat. Calling to him.

_It had been easier than she though..._

Heart slamming forcefully against her ribs, a wild anticipation pushed viciously through Leah's veins when she heard him make the faintest of noises in his throat. A growl, buried deep in the confines of his chest.

Running her fingers through her hair, she breathed in the fact he was still behind her. Holding on to that sound. Drawing in that scent. Keeping it somewhere.

She took a step back...

Feeling the planes of a firm chest ghost across the curve of her spine.

It took her breath away...in a way she didn't recognize. The electricity caused by their bodies connecting. Incinerating everything that stood in their way.

Leah didn't question it.

She didn't try to control the way her body responded to him. How it was drawn further into his, completely on its own. How her lips parted...breath catching in her throat...the moment she felt blazing fingers graze the back of her shoulders. Hesitant, even as they explored, tracing heated, invisible lines along her flesh.

She held the air in her lungs. She kept moving, allowing herself to be completely pulled into his presence. Surrounded by it, the same moment she felt his hands slide slowly to her hips.

_This was it..._

And for one split second – the moment she leaned her head against his shoulder, shivering when his breath ghosted through her hair – she reveled in the heat that matched her own, because it didn't feel like before. It didn't feel like the rest...the others...and she wasn't sure she wanted it to end...

But it had to.

She kept dancing.

She tried to ignore it...the way her head swam with the heady combination of music and heat. How his fingers tightened around her waist, pushing beneath the hem of her shirt. Brushing against bare flesh.

Following her lead, he put the moment in her hands. Silently swearing to follow her, just as he had back when she was young and he was stupid and neither one knew any better.

It made no sense...why he would. Why he would trust her so implicitly when he knew everything about her. Every secret. Every ghost. How just minutes earlier she had told him not to need it. Not to need _her_.

Yet he was still there, touching her. Hands brushing across her skin, massaging the sweat back into her skin. Making her remember in an entirely different way. How it had been so long since she felt a pair of hands that warm. How it had been so long since she felt so consumed.

So _alive_.

She _couldn't_ question it...

Because despite everything – despite how it would end and how much he would hate her when it was over – she needed it too.

His hands moved, the music slowing down once more.

Fingers splayed needfully against her midsection. Holding her to him.

_Keeping her there._

Moving her arms, one hand lowered slowly until Leah felt rough skin beneath her fingertips. The other reached back, searching, until it landed agilely on the back of his neck. Her fingers twisting through silky raven hair.

Still, Leah didn't look at him. Instead, she tilted her head...

Exposing her neck.

Giving him permission.

Submitting to him.

Even if she couldn't explain why. Even though her insides protested. Leah tried to forget, focusing instead on the fire coursing through her veins. Hanging on to it, the same way she always did, before it would disappear and take everything else with it.

But it didn't go anywhere, swallowing her whole the moment she felt his lips brush against her neck, tasting the flesh barely masking her pulse.

Causing her desperate fingers to curl into his skin, the quietest of moans escaping her throat. Swallowed by the noise surrounding them when he gently drug his teeth across the same spot.

Rendering her helpless.

"Leah..."

Embry spoke her name, the low hum of his voice vibrating across her skin. The way it sounded working its way inside her, wrapping around her thrumming her heart. Promising something she couldn't count on.

_No words..._

The band played the final chord when Leah twisted in Embry's arms, the audience exploding around them the moment she faced him. The moment her fingers dug into his neck and he peered down at her, silently begging her to look at him.

She refused, instead moving the same way she had years before. Closing her eyes. Pushing against her toes and pulling him to her, surprised how he easily he moved beneath her hands.

Covering his mouth with hers.

In that moment, six years washed away. For a split second, she could remember what it felt like. Before...how good it felt when his soft lips brushed against hers.

Just like it felt now.

How he tasted exactly the same. How good it made her feel.

How easy it would _still_ be...

How there was nothing dirty about it. Nothing shameful. Nothing broken.

Even if it would be soon...

Except there was no hesitance. No uncertainty. Embry wasn't gentle, fingers twisting through her hair, one arm wrapping possessively around her body. Bringing her impossibly closer. Encouraging her to get lost in the way his body felt pressed against hers.

_Still so easy..._

He pulled away before she did, one hand clasping her face, tilting it towards his. The audience around them disappearing when he forced her to look in his eyes. The breath evaporating from her lungs when she finally met them. Seeing a passion she didn't understand. A desire she wasn't expecting.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she silenced him with another swift, frantic kiss.

Whispering her own words against his lips.

"Let's get out of here..."

* * *

**Oh, boy. So I suppose you can guess what comes next... ?**

**So I wanted to thank all of you who have stuck with me! Those who know me know I'm a pretty big fan of angst and I really like my characters to hit rock bottom before building them back up. Call it the love of the journey, haha. That being said, there are probably only another couple chapters of this crippling angst. It WILL GET BETTER. There will still be moments, but it will get better. I promise.**

**Also, a huge thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. So sorry I couldn't hit all of you back one on one but please know I read and appreciated each note. **

**ANYWAY...thoughts on this chapter?**


	7. Unravel

**__****__****____****Disclaimer: **_______All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "Cruel" by Tori Amos, "Letters From The Sky" by Civil Twilight, "Smother" by Daughter**_

The air caught in her throat, the absence of it screaming in her chest when she felt cool, painted steel pressed against her back.

Leah's eyes flew open, the icy surface soaking through her thin tank top. Looking up, her lungs burned, fighting to recover from the shock to her already frenetic senses. To draw breath between parted lips.

He never gave her a chance.

A knowing, ardent smile spread slowly across her lips, eyes fluttering closed.

He wouldn't let her breathe.

_And she fucking loved it._

It was everything she wanted. His hands were everywhere.

_Embry_ was everywhere.

Claiming her body – drawing the life from it – when his thick fingers dug needfully into her waist, pulling back for a single moment. Long enough to push her against the door again, roughly grinding his body against hers. A soft moan escaped her lips, one knee slipping between parted thighs as her palms curled agonizingly slow around his shoulders.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he fought for his own breath. What was left of it plumed across her flushed cheeks, fanning an excruciating fire inside her.

Black, want-filled eyes holding her hostage, silently telling her that he'd waited for this. That he'd _wanted_ this for longer than even he understood.

That he wanted _her_.

Leah closed her eyes. She closed her eyes on it all, digging her fingers harder into the thin fabric covering the skin just below his neck.

Holding on for dear life, just before the fire of his mouth hungrily sought out hers. Without restraint. Without second thought.

The entire way back to her apartment, neither of them spoke. She walked first, keeping her eyes ahead. Her fingers curled tightly around Embry's, leading him. Refusing to look back – to remember who it was behind her.

He let her. He followed.

Like an animal being led to slaughter...

Leah shuddered, but it wasn't because of him. It wasn't how his tongue parted her lips, sweeping eagerly against hers – in the way she could feel the proof of what she was doing to him pressed prominently against her thigh. It wasn't in the way his fingers wound through her hair, tugging, almost like he was trying to hurt her even though she knew he never would.

As he encouraged something in her. As he tried to draw out something he thought she was holding back.

As he tried to bring the fire in her to the surface.

It wasn't because of that.

It was the sweetness of his lips. That fucking too familiar scent. The warmth of his presence – a kind she wasn't used to – that despite everything crawled on every inch of her skin, unforgivingly infiltrating her senses.

_Reminding her he wasn't one of them..._

But she wouldn't fight with herself. Not then. Not in that moment. Not even when his mouth, his hands, his hard body pressed against hers, tried to sweep away every guard she had in place.

She felt her fingers move. Falling.

Curling around his arms, Leah pushed back.

_Regaining control._

One arm kept her against him when she found herself facing the other direction. When she felt one large hand clasp the back of her head. She held onto him as he pulled her under yet again, his lips abandoning hers as they traced a heated trail up the length of her jaw. Dragging his teeth against her earlobe, her own mouth opened, finally able to draw in a breath.

She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck.

Pine and sea burned her nostrils.

Ensnaring her pounding heart.

She pushed again. Turning her face, she recaptured his mouth with hers, taking his bottom lip between her teeth. Tasting his breath as it intertwined with hers. As her feet moved beneath her, leading him toward the kitchen, her fingernails dug into his neck, marking his flesh with crescent moons. She could feel his hands press heatedly against her back, moving lower until both palms traveled roughly under fabric, inexplicably searing against her skin.

"Where do you wanna go?"

Blinking, she had to take a moment. To realize he had spoken. To hear what he said. To register how breathless his words were, sending a subtle shiver through her veins as he whispered them into her hair.

The question already had an answer...

Rarely did she ever bring them home. The only time she did was when there was no other option. When she was short on time and patience and ready to pull apart at the seams.

And when she did, she never let them in her bed.

Still, Leah couldn't ignore a part of her buried deep. One trying desperately to claw its way to surface, begging her to drag this out. To savor it while she had the chance. To let him worship every inch of her.

Because by tomorrow, he'd know what she was doing. Why she'd done it.

And the chance would be gone...

_No..._

She closed her eyes again, pushing it away. Remembering her own rules when she pressed a hard, open-mouthed kiss to the place where his shoulder met his neck. Biting down as her fingers curled around his biceps.

The bed was a place for relationships, for an intimacy she didn't want.

_This was no exception..._

She had to take hold of his hands before she could push herself away. She had to make him let go as he finally allowed each one to fall to his sides. Lips parting slightly, she took a step back, blinking in disbelief when she was finally able to see the dazed expression on Embry's soft face. Noticing how his chest heaved, trying to catch his breath. How his eyes watched her, taking in every movement, every curve, every inch of her body beckoning to him.

Noticing how she already missed the absence of heat against her.

_His_ heat...

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she let her mouth curl into a tempting smile. Her fingers grasped the hem of her tank top as she took another step back, clasping the fabric tighter.

Embry disappeared for a split second as she moved, pulling the piece of clothing over her head.

Her own breath caught when she finally saw him again. When she watched him take an uncontrolled step toward her.

Heart pounding against her ribs, it pushed the blood through her body, awakening her instincts. Giving her back some semblance of control now that there was distance between them. Still, she never let go of his gaze. She never lost sight of the fire in those eyes as they tracked her movements, cataloging them. Taking each one in as her hands moved, fingers slipping around the button of her shorts. Lowering once it was undone, a zipper following soon after.

Once she felt the cool air on her skin, she straightened, swallowing thickly but never losing the smile still resting on her lips. Ignoring how the way he watched her made her tremble just slightly. How being on display for him felt _new_. Foreign.

_How it made her nervous..._

Her back hit the kitchen island, but she never faltered. Instead she focused on the man in front of her. How he was shaking too, his jaw tight. Those eyes on fire, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. Restricting hands that wanted to touch – that wanted to _explore_ while his body held them back, waiting for permission.

Reaching behind her, Leah let one hand curl around the thick, wooden surface of the island.

She held her breath as she brought the other hand up, using a single finger to beckon him. To give him what he wanted.

To take what _she_ wanted...

He closed the distance between them faster than Leah could see, stealing her breath when his mouth covered hers once again. His hands were back, running along the smooth planes of her stomach, memorizing every contour of copper flesh as he reached around her, traveling lower.

Leah barely had a chance to savor the heat on the back of her thighs before her feet left the ground. Before she found herself placed on the kitchen island, Embry's body nestled between her legs, his lips never leaving hers as his hands curled possessively around her shoulders.

She reached up, weaving her fingers roughly through his hair. Raking her fingernails across his scalp, she couldn't help but smile against his mouth.

Silently wondering how it had all worked out.

How she could feel herself still trembling beneath his hands.

How it could be so much like the others, yet feel so different.

How she felt safe. Warm.

_Needful._

His hands were on her hips, digging into her flesh as they pulled her closer to the edge of the island. She heard the growl again, buried deep inside his chest, stealing her breath when he drug his teeth across her bottom lip.

Claiming her mouth again, he pushed the warmth through her veins. Encouraging it in the best possible way.

Causing it to explode in a haze of red when she felt his hand between her thighs, pushing aside her panties.

Leah gasped breathlessly into his mouth when he ran his fingers through the slick heat gathering there, her body immediately arching toward him. Wanting more.

She pulled back, letting her lips brush against his cheek, his fingers teasing mercilessly. Closing her eyes as his panting breaths echoed in her ear, pushing through her hair.

Curling her arms around him tighter than she should have, fingernails dug viscerally into copper flesh, trying to pull him closer.

She was losing herself completely. Drowning in an unrecognizable sea of red. One that, in a single instant, was entirely too much and not enough.

She_ needed_ more. Of his hands. Of his mouth. Of the _burning_ inside her.

Of the person she clung to...

All of it.

All of _him_.

But he ruined it...

He ruined it the moment he pulled back. The moment she felt _both_ hands on her thighs and the subtle, slow movement of a name whispered in her ear.

Reminding her it wasn't going the way she had planned...

Because his voice was too sincere – too soft – as his words worked their way inside her.

"_I've missed you..."_

Leah's stomach wrenched violently, pushing forward a crippling realization, mixing dangerously with the heat consuming her.

_She was screwing it up..._

Closing her eyes, she tried to pull herself together. To bring herself back to Earth. To ignore how she was still wrapped around him and how he didn't wait for her response, his blazing mouth finding purchase on the flushed skin of her neck.

He tasted her. His movements intense. Slow. Purposeful.

_Not like the others..._

Hands pressed through the thin cotton of his shirt, pushing against the straining muscles in his back. No doubt leaving streaks of red against copper as her fingernails moved down. She took his earlobe between her teeth. Biting harder than she wanted to.

Letting herself say her own words against his flesh.

Stop talking," she whispered breathlessly into his skin. "Just fuck me..."

Careless. Distant. Rough. The words made her intentions clear. They were ones she said before...numerous times, but it didn't matter.

It didn't change how each one burned like acid on her tongue.

But she let her hands move, leaning back as her fingers raked down the planes of his chest. Taking his shirt between tight fists, she pulled him back, finding his lips again. Pressing hers roughly against them.

Ignoring how his were no longer as insistent...

She lowered her hands, fingers curling possessively around the button of his jeans.

Ignoring how his lips stilled just slightly.

Ignoring the noise he made in his throat.

How he tried to pull away...

But she couldn't ignore it because it was enough for her to notice. To overtake everything else, his hands tightening around her shoulders – not in a way she wanted. Like he was preparing to push.

Silently putting words to a hesitation rising to the surface.

He was pausing. Taking in _her_ words. He was _thinking_.

For some unexplainable reason, it made her angry. Releasing a low, lustful growl, she tried to pull him back. They had come this far, and she wasn't letting go. Not until she was done. Not until he served his purpose like all the others.

Not until he helped her feel _something_.

Not until she finished what she started all those years ago.

Not until she _ended_ it.

But that was the thing, her lips parting as the reality of it washed over her, mixing dangerously with roughness of his skin beneath her mouth. Amid the anger, she could feel the scratching again. That thing buried deep inside her. A cloying desperation to keep him there.

She didn't _want_ him to stop.

But more than anything, she didn't want it to be _over_.

She wanted him to walk away, but she didn't want him to move.

She wanted him to stay...

_For as long as he could._

And it didn't make any fucking sense.

The feeling, the moments leading up to the one she was trying to hold onto, came rushing back. The consuming heat, the misplaced sense of security, the feeling of belonging she could inexplicably make out as it wrapped its way around a heart she swore had forgotten how to beat. That had forgotten how to feel _anything_.

But he was there, making her feel it all.

Making her heart _pound_ from the moment his eyes found her on the dance floor.

From the moment they found her that night in the bar.

_And he was about to take it away..._

He couldn't leave... Not yet.

Not until...

_Not until..._

She couldn't fucking think.

_She wouldn't let him take it away..._

"Leah..."

She could feel his fingers at the base of her neck, gentler than they were before. She could still sense the pause in his voice.

She ignored it.

Instead, she reached up, wrapping her fingers around his wrists. Pulling him back. Her thighs found his hips. Keeping him there. Breath escaping her lips in frantic gasps, she tried to kiss him again, needing the sweetness of his breath. Needing that heat back.

"Embry...please," she whispered into his mouth, her voice foreign. The words coming from someplace that wasn't her. Bleeding with a desperation she didn't understand. One she didn't want but couldn't seem to stop as it crept its way up her throat, her airway tightening as she fought to draw in another breath.

But it didn't matter.

_It was too late..._

"Leah...come on..." He spoke against her mouth that time, pushing the words past her insistence. She could feel his hands wrap around her shoulders, preparing to push.

"Stop..."

She dug in, her fingernails threatening to pierce his flesh if she pressed any harder.

Refusing to let go.

Again...

"Shhh." She tried to silence him, painstakingly releasing him with one hand. Keeping the other where it was, she brought one finger to his lips. Doing everything she could to avoid his eyes, already knowing what she would see in them. She pressed her fingertip against his mouth before leaning forward with a rehearsed smile – a gesture that felt stupid and trite – and capturing his bottom lip between hers.

"_Leah..."_

Her name was muffled against her mouth, until he pushed again.

With a defeated, frustrated cry, she finally let him.

Finally able to see those onyx eyes, wide and surprised and pleading, she knew.

_It was over..._

She could feel the fire rising in her gut – a different kind – bringing with it an onslaught of emotions she couldn't figure out, closing her eyes as every ounce of it pushed through her veins. As it settled in her shaking limbs, causing everything she felt before to disintegrate.

Replacing it with a searing anger. A desperate frustration she could feel multiplying the longer she stayed where she was.

But her lips parted anyway, six years of practice and instinct forcing her tongue to move. Her boiling blood – an unexplainable moisture gathering in the corner of her eyes – prompting her to speak.

To run away without lifting a single finger.

"You need to go..."

The words were pushed out from between clenched teeth, and Leah had to look away, her arms curling inexplicably across her chest. Hugging her frame tightly, she suddenly felt vulnerable and on display.

It was the same moment her hands started to shake and the blood simmered just beneath her skin. She could feel herself unraveling. She could feel the walls she'd built start to crumble, losing her hold on every guard she'd put in place. The realization of it all squeezing its way through one small chink in her armor.

One _he_ had put there.

Without even trying, because it had been done long before.

_It was too late..._

She shouldn't have looked at him, but she felt compelled to. She couldn't stop it as her gaze lifted, even if she didn't have the slightest clue what it was she was looking for.

Embry's soft stare pierced straight through her. She clung tighter to her frame, trying to hold herself together.

"Leah..."

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him lift his hand, the other curled around the island just next to her thigh. Leaning on it as his fingers reached for her.

A million different emotions flared in her gut, jaw trembling when she jerked away with a sharp hiss, tearing her eyes from his. Causing his hand to freeze.

Her eyes closed, breath rushing past dry lips as she fought to catch it.

Wanting that hand, but refusing it in the same instant.

She was fucking losing it...

_She already had._

"Get out," she whispered hoarsely, focusing on anything but him. Holding onto those words like they were her last lifeline. Unsure of _everything_ as she tried to ignore the desolate, consuming ferocity building inside her.

He touched her anyway. His fingers wrapped around her wrists, trying to get her to loosen her grip on herself.

Urging her to let go.

She held on tighter...

"Leah, look at me..."

She couldn't.

"_Look_ at me..."

She could barely hear him. Shaking her head, she kept her eyes closed, ignoring how his hands suddenly burned her flesh. Ignoring how her legs had fallen limp at his sides. How she could still feel that unexplainable moisture on her cheeks, the heat of her skin causing it to evaporate before it ever reached its destination.

Lips parting, she forced herself to open her eyes. That time ignoring how she probably looked to _him_, but somehow listening.

Somehow, forcing her gaze to meet his.

The pained, desperate haze in those ebony eyes caused her throbbing heart to pound harder as he leaned in closer. As that fucking scent drifted into her nostrils, wrapping itself around the tightness in her throat.

As she found her voice, speaking before he had a chance to – a barely audible plea escaping a violently protesting body.

"Please..."

She said it again, but it _wasn't_ her voice. It wasn't something she would say, but she couldn't help it as it tumbled from her lips. She wanted to grab the word and stuff it back in her throat but she couldn't. Instead, she swallowed, tearing her gaze away from his when she realized it didn't matter anyway.

How it did little to banish the hurricane of emotion resting dangerously at the back of her throat. Every ounce of it wanting out.

His hand reached her that time, closing the distance as she felt its heat on her cheek. Brushing away the leftover wetness as a shudder ripped up her spine and a tightness threatened to close her airway completely.

_She still couldn't breathe..._

"Not like this..."

The pressure was spreading, crawling through her muscles, body tensing as she struggled to suck in deep breaths. Silently repeating his words, she tried to keep a hold on her fragile control. His palm seared her flesh, and she could feel the frustration spreading, boiling inside her body. Threatening to overtake everything the same moment she could feel the loose threads threatening to fray completely.

As she started to come undone.

As she finally realized what was happening...

He was walking away.

"What do you want, Leah?"

His voice was low – unsettled – but she barely heard it. The ironic truth to the words she was putting together inside her head spreading bitterly through her veins, the air escaping her lungs in a hoarse gasp.

Knowing it was happening _again_.

Even though it was what she wanted all along.

Knowing it was still her fault...

And it didn't matter because she fucking hated him for it. For making her feel that way. For making her feel _all_ of it. For treating her the same way he always did. For using those eyes to see right through her without even realizing it. For _caring_ too much to go through with it.

_She hated him..._

For wanting _her_.

But more than anything, she hated herself.

She hated herself for letting it get to that point. For not noticing all those years ago. For encouraging it. For not doing something about it sooner. For letting him get under her skin.

For letting herself remember what it felt like to be wanted by someone.

For wanting him to stay. To never stop looking at her like that.

For wanting _him_...

To kiss her again. To soothe the anger...the aged resentment...away with his lips and give her that warmth back. To hold her.

To _need_ her...

The same way she needed _him_, more in that moment than she ever needed anything else.

In a way that scared the shit out of her.

_It still didn't matter..._

Her mouth was dry as she swept her tongue along the back of her lips, voice cracking as she finally allowed herself to answer his question.

"I want you to leave."

She could feel his other hand on her cheek.

"Leah..."

It was the last fucking time. It was all it took for the red inside her to explode, her muscles screaming. Everything coming to a head as it left her trembling frame in an anguished cry.

"Get the fuck out!"

Hands planted firmly on his chest, she pushed him away with all the strength she could muster. A frustrated growl masking a buried sob as both ripped unforgivingly from her chest.

Embry stumbled back but caught himself quickly, his eyes never leaving hers. His jaw tightened as he took a deep breath. As he stood his ground, wild, feral eyes bearing down on him from mere feet away. As her bones and skin shuddered and burned and ached, her own frenzied determination denying every instinct her body carried.

Refusing her any solace as she silently let herself fall apart from the inside out.

Instead, she clawed at her trembling skin, sliding from the island. Landing on unsteady feet, she wished wildly for the numbness that normally came after.

It never did.

Tearing her eyes from Embry, she could still feel _everything_.

But most of all, how the moment she pushed him away she wanted nothing more than to pull him back.

_Fuck, she couldn't do this..._

She was so sick. So tired...of it all.

She held her breath as she bent to the floor, grasping her shirt between quavering fingers. Slipping it over her frame as she took a step back, collapsing against the island. Her insides still screaming, but every part of her exhausted.

Every part of her tired of fighting a past she could never seem to outrun.

Maybe if she just stopped...

_Maybe if she just stopped running..._

She could, but it wouldn't matter because there was nothing to stop for when everyone who mattered – everyone who cared – had already ran from her.

And it was her own fault. For running away first. For pushing away the only people who still cared.

It wouldn't matter. Not anymore.

"Get out," she repeated, the words barely audible above the pounding in her ears. Her hands still shook as she brought both to her forehead, refusing to look at Embry. Refusing to see what this was doing to him, because it didn't matter.

"_Please."_

After her final word died in the space between them, she heard him take a step back.

Listening to her...

Which meant regardless of how she had done it, it was still _done_. It was over. He had seen it – just how broken she was. How bad it could have been had he tried to stick around. Had he tried to save her.

Because he had finally seen just how _fucked up_ she was.

And she hated herself even more...

For destroying what little faith he had left in her.

Which made her unprepared for what he would say. Unprepared for his words or what they would do once they crossed the air separating them, almost like he had pulled them directly from her mottled brain.

Words that almost made her unravel completely.

"You can't keep doing this, Leah," he said, and she could feel his presence lingering at the corner of the entryway. "Open your eyes... You can't keep running from everything you left behind...look what it's doing to you."

Even as she turned her head, her face crumpling as she let a silent cry escape her lips, she didn't open her eyes. She didn't look.

He left anyway.

Leah could still hear his footsteps long after they disappeared. Long after the door closed behind him. Long after she heard the elevator come and go.

And she could still hear his words as everything inside her...everything she had spent six years running from...pulled her down. Bringing her to her knees in her silent, empty kitchen, her hands still clinging to the surface of the island as her legs pressed roughly against the cold, hardwood floor.

Her head lowered and she tried to breathe, mouth open, struggling to find whatever air it could.

Reminding herself over and over that it was done.

Embry was gone.

_It was done._

He deserved better.

Better than her.

And after everything she had done, she didn't deserve him.

Even though in that moment, as she closed her eyes, there was nothing else inside her. Nothing but a single thought.

That no matter what she told herself – even though it was too late – the only thing she wanted was for him to walk back through that door.

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**_AN: Dizzy yet? If so, that's good...cuz that was totally what I was going for. ;)_**

**_Huge shoutout to all who left notes on the last chapter! Again, I suck...but I read them all and just wanted to say thank you! _**

**_Anyway, thoughts on this chapter?_**


	8. Worth

******__****__****____****Disclaimer: **_______All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

**AN: **Hello, all. Just a little timeline reminder here before heading into the chapter. Don't forget - in this, Leah phased BEFORE Sam imprinted and Emily came into the picture. This chapter starts off exploring one particular instant during that time, a time when Leah was herself, when the circumstances surrounding the "before" days she spent with the pack – when she was finding her place – were completely different than what you'd read in a canon fic. Hope you enjoy! :)

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_**Suggested Listening: "Medicine" by Daughter, "Nobody Told Me" by Barzin, "Your Ghost" by Greg Laswell, "Slowly Freaking Out" by Skylar Grey**_

.

_**Seven Years Earlier**_

_With a frustrated cry that reached the tops of the forest trees, Embry released an uncharacteristic fury, adrenaline ripping through every protesting muscle in his body as he threw his fist forward. _

_Releasing a violent shudder, he ignored the searing pain that shot up his arm when it connected with the bark of the weathered conifer in front of him._

_Embry's breath caught in his throat, watching as shards of wood flew in what seemed like a hundred different directions._

_He tried to swallow back the burning, ignoring the bleeding scrapes on his knuckles, knowing the wounds would be gone before he could give them another thought._

_Trying to ignore how it hadn't made him feel much better._

_Pushing his battered hand through his hair, Embry fisted the strands and tugged uselessly, hoping maybe a different kind of pain would get rid of the resentment crawling just beneath his skin. _

_It didn't._

_It also wasn't enough to dull his senses, only taking a moment for him to register the scent behind him. A subtle but exhilarant mix of jasmine and sandalwood. _

_A scent that no one else in La Push had..._

"_Go easy on the tree, Call. What did it ever do to you?"_

_Swallowing, he tried to soften his features a little before he turned to face her. To push down the heavy, clawing anger sitting smack in the middle of his chest. The one still making it harder than hell to breathe._

"_What are you doing here?"_

_That time, he felt his feet move. That time, he looked._

_Leah was perched on the top of a large tree root, peering down at him skeptically. With a heavy breath she let her fingers trace over the moss weaving its way up the tree trunk, dropping her gaze from his as she stepped down, moving toward him._

"_Umm...patrol? Or did you forget you're stuck with me this week?"_

_Embry held what little breath his lungs contained, and he could feel the tightness dissolve just slightly. It didn't, however, do much for the pounding in his head. The thoughts he always tried to push to the back of his mind – to ignore, because thinking them never did any good._

"_I didn't forget," he admitted, swallowing hard as Leah looked up. She caught his eyes again, her face a mixture of detachment and a muted concern._

_He stood there, watching her with parted lips, suddenly feeling stupid as she hitched her thumbs in the pockets of ratty cut-off shorts. _

"_So you want to talk about it?" she asked knowingly, brows high as she let her eyes flick to the damaged tree. _

_Gritting his teeth together, Embry tore his gaze away, focusing on his shoes instead. Making it a point to keep his eyes there when he stooped, fingers still shaking as he undid the laces. _

"_Not really," he grumbled, straightening as he lifted his leg, pulling off one shoe. Repeating the action with the other. "We should just get this shift over with..."_

_Leah sighed, yet she didn't move a muscle as Embry's bare feet pressed into the damp leaves, mud seeping between his toes. _

"_Well, the way I see it is you can tell me now or I can see it in your head later," she pressed on matter-of-factly. "Your choice. Either way, there's a reason you're putting your fist through full grown trees and walking around like that's perfectly normal." _

_He tried to keep it from showing on his face – a worn-down exhaustion from a battle he continued to fight, one that had nothing to do with her. One that had nothing to do with the others._

_It was his burden to bear. The memories of it – tearful pleas, accusations that hit him in the worst places – floating effortlessly to the front of his mind. Reminding him why..._

_Suddenly making him painfully aware of the throbbing in his knuckles._

_It had been his choice not to tell his mother about the pack's secret – to tell her the story, the legends, and explain to her the role he played. To tell her what he could turn into, thanks to a father he would never know and one she would never reveal. A part of him had wanted to, just to have _someone_ to tell, but his mother was from a different tribe. She was an "outsider", as Sam once said, and protecting the pack's secret was important. _

_So Embry made the choice to not tell her, one he made for the same reason. A good reason. _

_At least it had been at the time._

_Even if it was getting harder and harder to remember why, because ever since, he had spent almost every damn day dealing with the consequences of that choice._

_It was becoming too much._

_But it wasn't Leah's problem._

_Still, the helplessness he felt buried just behind that dull, insistent ache in his chest wanted a voice. He could feel the words rising in his throat the longer Leah stared at him, her head cocked slightly. Almost like she was waiting for him to speak._

_It wasn't her problem, but he wanted to tell her. He wanted her to be that person he could talk to._

_Even if there wasn't a single thing she could do about it._

"_It's my mom..."_

_If his barely-audible confession registered somewhere inside Leah, she kept a handle on it, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth holding his gaze with her steely brown eyes. "She giving you shit again?"_

_Embry could feel the clenching in his chest as he nodded, his blood suddenly burning. "Mostly, it's the same stuff...doesn't believe me when I tell her there's nothing to worry about. She's so fucking determined that there's more to it. That I stay out all night because I'm on drugs or something stupid like that, and it's always the same thing...because I don't listen to her when she grounds me, I don't respect her...all that."_

_He swore he could hear Leah swallow, despite the several feet that separated them. Still, he didn't wait for her to respond, the words surfacing with a startling insistence. Wanting out._

"_But last night, after I got in from patrol, she just went...crazy. Screaming at me, crying...rambling on about losing me too," Embry pushed on, the words coming faster than he wanted. Noticing how with each one he spoke, a tiny amount of pressure lifted from his insides. "Telling me I was the one person in her life she never thought would disappoint her..."_

_He looked up in time to see Leah's pursed lips part, her brow pulling low between both eyes. "And you believe her, don't you?"_

_Embry couldn't contain the agitated groan that left his throat. "I don't..._want_ to believe her, but fuck, Leah...a person can only be kicked so many times for the same thing before they start believing the reasons why..."_

_His words trailed off, and the silence hung thick between them. Embry's ragged, heavy breaths the only sound piercing through it. _

_After awhile, he couldn't help it. He brought his eyes up, finding Leah's. Searching through those dark irises for any indication that she understood what he was talking about._

_She blinked, shutting him out for a split second. Long enough to speak._

_Not giving him enough._

"_It'll be okay."_

_Lips parting, the air left Embry's chest. "How do you know?" he asked, selfishly wanting more. Words of reassurance. An explanation of what she meant by such simple words. _

Anything.

_Leah shrugged lightly, fingers curled into her pockets. "I just...do."_

_The answer didn't make the emptiness go away, nor the hollowing anger inside him. _

_He'd wanted more – and it made him angry that she wouldn't give it._

_And he hated it. _

_He hated how all the bullshit with his mother was making him feel. Bitter. Resentful. How despite only being sixteen years old, he was mourning the loss of a life that wasn't that great to begin with. He was never the kind of person who felt sorry for himself, but in the weeks leading up to that moment – even though most of it was done silently – it seemed to be all he knew how to do. The battles with the only person he could call family – someone who didn't understand and refused to trust him in addition to it – wearing him down to nothing._

_Making him question what life had given him. _

_Making him question his role in it._

_No one understood. They tried, but it was impossible. Everyone else knew why. Everyone else knew _how_. Everyone else had families that embraced it, celebrated it. Everyone else had families that knew it all._

_And Embry knew Leah. He knew she wasn't very good at talking. At communicating and getting things to come out the way she intended._

_It didn't matter though, and it killed him because deep down, he had desperately wanted Leah to understand. _

"_Nevermind," he whispered, unable to stop his feet as they moved. Turning his back on her. Taking a couple steps, hands moving to the button of his shorts. Preparing to phase without her. To leave her behind. _

"_Embry!"_

_The sound of his name falling from her lips made his footsteps fall short, his muscles arguing with a desire to leave. Refusing to let him move. _

"_Don't walk away from me..."_

_Closing his eyes, her words pulled at something inside him, twisting his stomach in knots. Sucking a slow, deep breath into his lungs, he held it there before letting it out in a silent rush. Before picking up his feet and turning, his eyes meeting hers._

_The insistence on her expression caused his body to freeze in a different way. A concern she saved for very few. For her mother. For Seth. For Sam._

_And in that moment, for him. _

"_I wasn't finished," she murmured, her expression assertive. Her eyes were wide with determination, but her features were set with an understanding that held him captive. "Listen, I know this sucks...I do. None of us asked for this. None of us wanted this life for ourselves, but you know as well as I do that life doesn't give a shit about what we want. It didn't give a shit when your dad decided not to man up and when mine decided to die..."_

_That time, she took a step forward, the sound of the brush beneath her feet loud in Embry's ears. Her eyes never left his, a strength he could only wish for resonating from them. One she shouldn't have but one she did anyway. It was indistinct, usually disguised by flecks of gold in those dark brown eyes, but in moments like the one they were in – moments where she wanted everyone to know she meant what she was saying – they screamed with sincerity._

"_Things might not be the best right now, Embry...but this is what we do," Leah continued, letting her hands fall to her sides. "And it might feel like you're alone right now and fighting some kind of losing battle, but you're not. That's kind of the purpose of having a pack, you know? We can't do this without each other, and we're not supposed to...even if it's hard to let it be that way, and even if we drive each other fucking insane sometimes."_

_Embry could feel the grin pulling at his lips, fingers curling distractedly around his biceps as he let his gaze rise to the lush canopy covering them. Before letting it drop to once again meet Leah's._

_Something in her words making sense. Giving him that reassurance he craved._

_Reminding him there was a purpose – that he had a purpose – and even though it was hard to see at times, there were others waiting to remind him who he was._

_And that he wasn't _supposed_ to be doing it on his own._

"_Did Sam tell you to tell me that?" he murmured tentatively._

_Chuckling, Leah crossed her arms in front of her chest instead. "No," she admitted, taking another step forward, peering up at him and giving him a friendly nudge with her shoulder. "But I think you've got that part figured out already...don't think I've forgotten about the night I first decided to join this little freak show."_

_It was Embry's turn to laugh, the frustration finally dissipating in his chest. Lifting a weight from his body. _

"_Your mom will understand someday, you'll see," she said from behind him, her voice fading as she pushed farther into the forest. As he closed his eyes... _

"_But until then, just know what we're doing...you're meant to. And the people who matter get it. If she tosses you out on your ass, so be it...because we're still here and we'll pick you back up if she does. We'll remind you why it was worth it..."_

.

Embry's fingers wrapped tightly around the small glass sitting on the counter in front of him. Releasing a destitute breath, he brought it to his lips, letting the flaming liquid fill his mouth before swallowing it. Letting it burn for a split second as the alcohol spread through his stomach.

It was a fire that disappeared much too soon.

One that felt similar to the night before...

It was safe to say he lost himself somewhere. Between a few gazes that lasted too long. An unexpected brush of her fingers on his. The way her body moved beneath low lights, her eyes found him in the crowd. Calling to him.

Almost like she was saying it was all for him and he'd be stupid to feel otherwise.

Holding him in place. Calling him _back_.

The same way they always did.

But somehow, he'd seen what he wanted to see. He let himself be pulled under. He let himself give in to Leah.

To the absence of her.

He allowed himself to hang on, trying to keep her there. Trying to keep her with him in a way that did neither of them any good...at least not at that point.

Yet in a way he never knew he wanted as much as he did.

And he'd gotten lost...

In a way he wasn't sure he wanted to be saved.

He let himself _burn_...in an entirely different way.

And it felt _right_.

The way that fire filled an emptiness within. One that had been there since the day she left.

The way, for a split second, Embry Call had felt complete.

He'd always been drawn to Leah. He'd always _noticed_ her, but never the way he had the night before. It wasn't anything as profound or consuming as an imprint – he knew what that felt like through Sam, Jared and the others.

But it was irrefutable...how it had felt to _him_.

Like her soul – every part of it, animal and woman – had reached out to him. _Needed_ him. How he responded with an anticipation he hadn't counted on. One he wasn't able to resist. Not when so much time had passed. Not when he'd always wondered what it would feel like.

How those same parts of him had needed her just as much.

And the way his mouth felt on hers – _better_ than it had the first time. The feel of her flesh beneath his hands. Her scent...so potent, so intoxicating he couldn't think straight. What it did to _his_ body.

It soothed those same parts. It soothed the beast inside him in a way he never expected, almost like it had finally found a part of him he was missing.

_It felt right..._

Up until it wasn't.

Up until the _man_ inside him realized it wasn't the same for her. That maybe it _had_ been but she just wanted him to think something else.

Regardless, he didn't know...and he suddenly found himself wanting to stop. He couldn't explain why he didn't want to go through with it, fighting every primal instinct inside him because after everything that happened – after everything she inadvertently let him see – he still felt she deserved better.

That _they_ deserved better than some quick fuck on her kitchen counter.

He wanted it to be more than that.

The second his feet hit the concrete outside Leah's apartment, he walked until he lost track of time, letting a rush of grateful air escape his lungs when he finally saw a taxi. When it pulled to a stop at the curb, he fell into the backseat, still reeling, telling the driver to take him as far outside of the city as he possibly could.

The driver didn't understand, but shrugged anyway, turning and pulling onto the street.

Embry sat there, unable to move, watching the bright red numbers tick on the meter. Not caring this trip was going to cost him a small fortune.

The taxi driver stopped somewhere off the interstate outside of the city – past all the suburbs – and Embry had no idea where he was. Stumbling from the vehicle, he was thankful for only a few things.

Fields.

_Empty_ fields.

The absence of city lights.

No one around to see.

Embry barely waited until the taxi's red taillights disappeared before he turned, pushing between stalks of corn. Ignoring how foreign it felt against his skin as his fingers moved desperately, ripping his shirt from his body. Everything else following, carelessly left behind him before he crouched low to the ground, his body unfurling as bones and muscles shifted. As they realigned. Elongating before he landed back on the soft dirt, a deafening growl ripping from canine lungs and four legs already running for everything he was worth.

It was like scratching an itch he hadn't been able to reach. For almost a week, the city hadn't allowed him this. It made it impossible, and in that moment – where so many things were threatening to consume him from the inside out – he _needed_ it. More than anything else.

It was a part of who he was. Something he couldn't deny and never had.

At least not after that moment. The one seven years ago where he so desperately needed someone to understand. When he was in the middle of questioning everything he stood for.

Not after her words. Ones that somehow had managed to elude him until that moment.

Ones he hated himself for not remembering sooner. For not seeing the significance.

He couldn't get it out of his head. All of it – the feel of Leah's fingers digging into his arms, her eyes pleading. A voice that reminded him too much of the one he heard in his head years earlier...the first night she phased and asked him to stay without speaking the word.

"_Please..."_

A voice that reminded him too much of his _own_, back when he was sixteen and confused and angry and in danger of losing himself completely.

When all he'd needed was someone to understand.

And he _did_ understand, but she wouldn't let him show it. She kept pushing him away, refusing to give him a choice...

_No..._

He had a choice.

The way her shoulders heaved, the way her chest fought to catch her breath, her entire body trembling viscerally beneath what he could only assume was an urge to phase. An urge she did nothing but fight, a family she continued to run from...an instinct she had spent six years separated from, and one she still couldn't ignore. One she still couldn't get a handle on...

The way her face echoed it all when she finally turned away.

He remembered it – and it killed him, because it was then he knew – even if it took him entirely too long to figure it out.

She was alone. She had _been_ alone the entire time. She could tell him everything she wanted to about having friends and creating some big new life for herself, but Embry had seen it. He had _felt_ it when a dull pain shot up both arms, caused by the way her fingernails pressed into his flesh.

_Not_ in a way that was a side effect of the heat they were both lost in...

In a subconscious attempt to keep him there. To keep him from walking away.

_We can't do this without each other, and we're not supposed to..._

He remembered her words, and he'd seen how he failed her.

The night he left her in her kitchen. When he let her leave in the bar. When she got into that taxi outside the restaurant and drove away.

When she stood in front of him, broken, vulnerable, and alone...

He'd still failed her...just like the rest of them.

Just like Sam.

The taxi had waited for him at the rest stop like he'd asked the driver to. Embry's skin had finally stopped crawling, his body only somewhat satiated by the run, but his head was still a mess. Once he was back in his hotel room, more than a hundred dollars poorer, he collapsed on his bed. He collapsed, but he didn't sleep. He drowned in the silence, running it all through a loop in his head.

Trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do to fix it.

It was mid-afternoon by the time he ventured out into the scorching summer daylight. He walked that time, feet despondently pressing against pavement as he made his way to God knows where, but not surprised when they eventually took him to a vaguely familiar place miles away.

A bar occupying a busy street corner in a neighborhood he already knew was hers.

The same one he'd went to the week before – a tip from the girl at the front desk.

Where he'd seen Leah for the first time in years.

And it made sense why he ended up there. A futile hope that maybe when he walked in, she'd be there too.

She wasn't, but Embry allowed himself to stay anyway, sliding into a seat at the almost-empty counter and ordering a glass of nothing but whiskey. Something he couldn't stand the taste of but needed anyway.

"Need another?"

Looking up, Embry's gaze fell on the man behind the bar, who was wiping his hands on a towel and peering at him expectantly.

Taking a deep breath, Embry have him a half-hearted nod. "Sure."

The man moved to the well where he'd placed the bottle containing the same liquor Embry had just consumed. As he grabbed a fresh glass, filling it with ice, he looked back to Embry while he poured. "You from around here?"

Leaning his forearms against the bar, Embry stared at his empty glass. "Nope," he replied curtly. "Just in town on business."

"Awesome, man," the bartender quipped, setting the bottle back on the bar. Grabbing the full drink, he took the steps needed to reach Embry, sliding it across the counter until it met his eager fingers.

"I'm Kyle..."

Looking up, Embry nodded as he let his hand lift, firmly grasping the other man's as he shook it. "Embry."

Taking a step back, Kyle crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaning against the counter behind the bar. "I've seen you in here before though."

Swirling the alcohol in his glass, Embry let his head bob, watching the man with resignation. "Maybe...I was in here last Friday."

"I remember," Kyle replied. "You were with Leah, right?"

Embry's stomach wrenched, lips parting slightly at Kyle's recollection. "You know her?"

A small smile pulled at Kyle's lips. "Yeah, I know her..."

Embry wasn't sure what kind of look was on his face, but whatever it was, Kyle let a chuckle escape his throat. "Not like that, man. Don't want you to think anything is going on if you two are...you know..." His words halted, the smile drooping slightly on his mouth as he searched for his next ones.

It was Embry's turn to release an ironic laugh, shaking his head before taking a drink from his glass. "It's not like that. I've known her forever, but...we pretty much grew up together."

"Huh..." By that point, Kyle had let his gaze travel up, his mouth opening and closing, almost like he was trying to decide whether or not he should ask whatever question was on his mind.

He did anyway.

"So what's her story?"

Frowning, Embry turned the glass between his thumb and fingers. "What do you mean?"

Kyle sighed. "Well, she's been coming here for...a long time. I'd say we're friends, but I'm not even sure I could call it that. But she's here a lot and I pay attention, and there's just something...different about her."

Swallowing thickly, Kyle's assessment of Leah didn't surprise him in the least. No matter what had happened, he'd seen it too, especially in the past week. Despite what she was going through, and despite what she allowed herself to think, she still had something that surrounded her. A presence that commanded attention.

He asked anyway, wanting to hear it from this guy. Wanting the insight of someone who'd _only_ known a version of Leah that Embry couldn't quite wrap his head around.

"What do you mean by different?"

Kyle shrugged. "Well, I stopped trying to get to know her a long time ago. She never wants to talk, but...I still kind of look out for her when she's here. She always comes in alone, but rarely ever _leaves_ alone..."

The words settled like a fucking rock in Embry's stomach, his mind automatically drifting back to the night before. To hot breath on his ear and a command whispered unforgivingly against his skin.

_Just fuck me..._

They still burned on the edges of his mind.

"But she ran into you and didn't leave with you, so I guess that's why I remember you..." Kyle continued, pushing himself off the bar. "I don't know...I guess I just worry about her. She'll come in and she just...sits here. By herself. Doesn't talk to anyone until she finds whatever it is she's looking for."

Embry swallowed thickly, already knowing the answer to the question he was going to ask. "Which is...?"

Kyle shrugged, leaning over and pulling a couple six-packs out of the back cooler. "Depends on the day."

Grimacing, Embry couldn't help it when he shook his head, his fingers curling around his glass. "She's not like that, man," he murmured insistently, trying to keep away the protective anger already seeping into his voice.

Kyle threw his hands up, taking a step back at whatever look it was Embry was giving him. "Hey, that's not what I'm saying," he replied quickly. "No judgment here. She's nice to me and she tips well, and that's all my job allows me to care about." Lowering his hands, he took a step forward, watching Embry cautiously.

Looking down, Embry realized his own hands were trembling. The blood in them simmering beneath his skin.

"So what are you saying then?"

"Hell, man, I don't know...just making conversation," he said quietly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I guess I was just kind of hoping you were an actual _friend_ of hers. It's just...she used to talk, back in the day. Before it got bad, and I know she doesn't have anybody...and I know she's better than the guys she finds in this place. And I know why she does the things she does...loneliness is a pretty easy thing to spot when you've been doing this as long as I have."

Taking a deep breath, Embry closed his eyes, that last piece of a puzzle he'd been trying to figure out all day – all _week_ – finally falling into place. Kyle's words – a confirmation of something Embry pretty much knew all along – only solidifying that knowledge.

But it wasn't that. It wasn't the other men. It wasn't the fact she had turned to sex to substitute the real, tangible presence of others in her life, even if he hated that's what it had come to.

_It wasn't that..._

It was how she must have been feeling inside – how fucking lonely she was, the pain and regret she _still_ hung onto, and how little she thought of herself – to think _that_ was how much she was worth.

And that killed him more than anything else.

"She's not alone."

Embry meant it, and it hadn't taken Kyle to help him see it.

It was something he'd been trying to show her since his eyes fell on her just inches away from where he sat.

_Don't walk away from me, Embry..._

But he'd failed at that too.

Just like all the guys she had picked up in a bar that no longer felt comforting to him. That no longer felt like a place he would come to find her.

He hadn't gone after her. He hadn't refused to move.

He'd given her exactly what she wanted.

Just like they had.

Every single time she asked him to he'd done it. He'd walked away, thinking there was nothing he could do to change her mind. Thinking that maybe she would come around eventually.

He was wrong. He knew that now.

And he knew what it was going to take. What he needed to do.

Because every single person in Leah's life had walked away from her when in reality, all she needed was someone to push her. To pull her back. Kicking and screaming, if they had to.

To be there.

To make her see, even if she didn't want to.

Because he knew that deep down, she did. That she knew what she wanted. What she needed.

That she'd asked him not to walk away – _again_ – without speaking a single word.

That she was better than what she let herself believe.

That the woman who once held the person she used to be – that held what she _was_ higher than everything else – still resided in there somewhere.

And it was his job, as a member of her pack, to help her remember where she belonged.

And it was his job – as a _man_ – to make her see the woman she still was.

One he couldn't forget.

One he couldn't leave behind...not anymore.

Pushing the glass away, Embry leaned back in the barstool, reaching for his pocket. "How much do I owe you?"

Kyle shook his head. "It's on me, bro."

Managing a small smile, Embry pushed his chair back and rose to his feet. "Thanks, man."

"No problem." Kyle took another step forward, both eyebrows lifting. "You should come back later though. It's Thursday...the company here's usually better than me." As soon as his mouth closed, the corners of his lips pulled up in a small, knowing smile.

Nodding, Embry threw a five-dollar bill on the bar.

"I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

Autumn Gallagher really wished the phone would stop ringing.

It had been ringing all fucking day. Everyone wanting to talk to Leah, more so than a normal day.

And of course, she wasn't there.

Autumn wasn't sure what was going on. Leah never took sick days, and even though she had kept a watchful eye on the crowd at the concert the night before, she'd lost track of Leah early.

She wondered if something had happened. If they'd left.

Because that flawless example of a man she had with her would have been terribly hard to _not_ spot in a crowd.

Chuckling to herself, Autumn rocked back in her chair. Taking a deep breath, she felt her cheeks blush like a damn teenager. Silently relishing the moment she saw the voicemail light blink on the phone.

It soothed her extremely annoyed ears and that small, throbbing headache she could feel starting just above her right eye.

But it didn't get rid of her worry.

Leah never took a sick day. Ever.

In fact, Autumn was pretty sure she wasn't even capable of _getting_ sick.

But she'd seen her the night before, and something was definitely wrong. She was tense. Wound up. Something clearly eating away at her.

And Autumn worried.

She _always_ worried when it came to Leah Clearwater.

Because for someone as beautiful and successful and tough as her boss, that sadness in her eyes just never seemed to go away. It didn't just sit there – it _screamed_.

Until she looked at _him_.

That tall drink of water who couldn't keep his eyes off Leah either.

And Autumn _noticed_.

But she didn't notice the footsteps approaching her desk, the shadow fall over its surface, when that fucking phone started ringing again.

Groaning, her mind was jerked back to the present, her body doing the same as it sat upright in her chair, leaning forward. Reaching out for the receiver.

Finally noticing the person standing in front of her desk.

Her eyes raised slowly, lips parting. Fingers frozen, poised over the trilling phone.

Eyes raking unabashedly up a frame she'd like to reach out and touch just once...

But she didn't, the ringing phone long forgotten.

Instead, she opened her mouth further and let the words tumble out.

"Holy crap...it's you."

* * *

She wasn't sure what time it was.

She wasn't even sure how much time had _passed_.

All Leah knew was there was a brilliant orange glow peeking through the drawn curtains of her bedroom window, indicative of a setting sun and marking the passing of another day. Fighting its way into the darkness of the place she'd been since the night before.

At least that's how long she _thought_ it had been...

She had plenty of time to think. Plenty of time to bury herself beneath the covers on her bed. Plenty of time to lie awake and stare at the ceiling.

Plenty of time to bring up moments from a past she had spent six years trying to forget.

Searching...

For what she wasn't quite sure.

She searched anyway, trying to figure out where she went wrong. Trying to find a source to feelings she didn't want and didn't understand.

Stuck in some weird place she didn't recognize.

Embry hadn't come back. He'd done exactly what she wanted and hadn't come back.

And a part of her hated him more for that than anything else.

For the fact that she could still feel everything...

_Every fucking thing._

It hadn't gone away. The numbness that usually came after was nowhere to be found. Coupled with trembling fingers that she couldn't seem to get a handle on, it was almost like a dam somewhere had broken. Somewhere inside her, letting out everything she had forbid herself to feel for the better part of six years.

Forcing herself to see the person she used to be.

Forcing herself to see the person she had turned into. Someone she didn't recognize.

She saw it all. Everything, lined up in neat little rows, seeing everything she once possessed. Everything she lost. Everything she had tried to forget. Everything she hadn't allowed herself to feel.

Everything she had ran from, refusing to face. Refusing to overcome.

Everything she had allowed herself to believe. About her life. About herself.

And she remembered all the things she felt only hours earlier...before it all went wrong. Before she pushed Embry away. The way his lips felt on her skin, the way his hands moved across her body.

The way those eyes looked at her. The way they had _always_ looked at her.

_A look that took her that long to notice..._

The way it made her feel...

He had done it.

_Embry_ had done it.

And she wanted it. Still. More than anything.

_She wanted it forever..._

But it didn't matter. None of it did, because as every single thought cycled through her hazy mind, bringing everything to the surface, refusing to let her move, it only reinforced one thing.

That Leah knew better than anyone that forever didn't mean a thing.

_She needed to move..._

She would prove she didn't need it.

She would prove she didn't need _him_.

She would prove to herself – and Embry, wherever he was – that she would be fine. That life would be fine just the way it was.

She would prove this panic rising in her gut – one she couldn't seem to shake at the thought of never seeing Embry again, at him going back to La Push and taking everything but the storm inside her with him – was a figment of her imagination and a product of fear.

Drawing in a deep breath, Leah sat up, surveying the room as her bare feet hit plush carpet. As she stood, turning and making her way to the bathroom, she had to remind herself to put one foot in front of the other.

She knew where she needed to be. What she needed to do.

Even if she couldn't ignore the small part of her still screaming – still aching – for what she knew she _wouldn't_ find once she got there.

* * *

**AN: So...thoughts on this? Predictions on what's to come?**

**Can't wait to hear them! :)**


	9. Proof

_****__****__****____**Disclaimer: **________All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_________**AN:** Power through this one, guys. That's all I'm saying. ;)_

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "How" by The Neighbourhood, "Bird Sounds" by Circa Survive, "Flawless" by The Neighbourhood, "Virus" by Sarah Fimm, "Touch" by Daughter**_

Leah pressed her lips roughly against a closed fist, her leg bouncing anxiously beneath the counter. She silently begged it to stop, trying to ignore how it wouldn't comply. The fingers of her other hand curled around that same closed one, feeling her knuckles crack beneath it.

She opened her eyes, body stiff, allowing her gaze to scan where she was – taking in the familiar setting, the pounding music. The smell of sweat. The sea of faces. Some she recognized, and some that she knew had to have a story similar to her own. Others she didn't know.

But she ignored it. She ignored the eyes she could feel watching her. She ignored the sounds, the scents, everything that wanted to assault her senses.

All things she used to find comfort in.

She ignored them, because it wasn't happening. Not that time.

It all grated her nerves, making her uneasy, body burning with the need to fidget. With a desire to move, to release the pent-up energy causing her blood to simmer.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed it all down, swallowing back the anxiety gathering in the form of a thick knot in her throat.

She was doing this differently. She wasn't in the mood for games. For any of it.

_Prove it to him..._

_Prove it to yourself._

Leah's eyes fell on her cell phone sitting inches away, screen-up on the bar. Wishing it would light up despite the fact she had no fucking clue what she would want when it did.

She recognized Kyle's hand in her peripheral vision, reaching for a bottle beneath the counter. Looking up, she disregarded the intense stare he had focused on her. One that wasn't new but one she definitely didn't have time for.

And a little part of her wanted to laugh at him, the same part that forced her lips to curl into an ironic smile against her knuckles, her head shaking slightly.

_Look at what it's doing to you..._

She didn't need his judgment because buried not so deep inside her was plenty of it to go around. Judgment for what she'd done, judgment for what she was _going_ to do – it didn't matter. It was still there, overtaking her and scratching at a heart that never bothered to care before.

Or one that was too numb – too _blind_ – to recognize it to begin with.

But it fucking didn't matter. It didn't matter because he was gone.

Embry was gone.

And there was no one left to remind her...

No one but herself.

Opening her eyes, she could sense a presence encroaching the narrow space between her and the person on the next barstool. She blinked and Kyle was gone, her gaze focusing instead on the shelves behind the bar. She didn't have to look to feel the body next to her – to smell his scent, a pungent mix of peppermint and a perfectly aged brandy – before she saw the person it was.

Lips parting, she took a breath. Heart stuttering in her chest, her stomach dropped to her knees.

She'd heard about this thing people called rock bottom, but somehow, she'd always convinced herself she would never reach that point. That it would always elude her. That she was always one step away from the edge that led straight to it.

She was wrong.

And until that moment, Leah hadn't really realized what a horrible liar she was in addition to everything else.

Because she was pretty sure the person next to her was _exactly_ what rock bottom felt like.

The smile she forced across her lips was almost painful, the trembling beneath her skin feeling like thousands of live wires. Adding to it all. Two voices warring for dominance in the mess inside her head.

Her voice...

_Prove it._

And his...

_You can't keep running._

Knowing what it meant but not ready for it.

_She wasn't ready for any of it..._

Moving anyway, she turned her gaze toward the source of the aroma burning her sensitive nostrils, letting her eyes rake up a frame she knew. When her eyes landed on his expression, a trademark smirk flirting on his lips, she remembered how that same look used to make her insides twist in a way she hated.

But in that moment, she didn't feel a fucking thing.

"It's about time, Princess."

She couldn't help the irritated scoff that escaped her lips, one she hid behind a smug smile as she ripped her eyes from his. Focusing instead on the line of top-shelf liquors several feet away.

"Shut the fuck up, Tony."

He released a chuckle from his mouth, one that settled like a lead weight inside her. Swallowing, she tried to push it down – the knowledge that no matter what, what was about to happen was different. That it was a length to which she'd never gone before. That there could be consequences. If the wrong person saw, if the wrong person caught wind of it...

_Prove it..._

"What do you say we get out of here?"

Tony's voice brought her back, but only enough to hear his words.

A shudder ripped up her spine the moment the request left his mouth. Lips parting, nothing came out when she tipped her head back, catching those icy blue eyes with hers. Her body froze when he reached up, that fucking smirk still there as he used the backs of his fingers to trace an excruciating line down the length of her jaw.

_The way those fingers felt... _

They were too cold. She'd always noticed it before in the others, but suddenly, she couldn't ignore the screaming in the back of her head. One telling her that wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

That it wasn't what she needed...

Leaning back, she broke the contact between their skin, banishing the voices the moment she did. She inadvertently caught Kyle's eyes watching her again, and she ignored how they pulled away, his gaze flitting toward the door for a brief moment.

Reaching out, Leah gripped the glass of liquor on the bar between shaky fingers, bringing it to her lips. She swallowed its contents without a second thought.

Trying like hell to hang on to the fire it created as it wound its way through her insides.

Knowing she would need it then more than ever.

"I have a better idea."

* * *

It was too familiar. She'd been there before.

Leah held her breath, letting the weight of Tony's body pin her to the door of the bathroom stall. His hands were rough – impatient – mapping paths across her midsection. His mouth finding a home on the slant of her neck, his tongue peeking out as it tasted her.

Closing her eyes, Leah tried to ignore everything inside her fighting it. How her body didn't want to respond. How she had to force her hands to lift, to push through his short hair. How she had to remember to make a sound when his teeth dragged across her flesh. To pretend like she meant it as her fingers curled around the back of his head, guiding his lips to hers.

She tried to concentrate – to drink it all in, his scent invading her nostrils. Feeling the coolness of his palm when it wrapped around her thigh, it steadied her as he guided it to his hip, the burning taste of brandy on his breath.

Everything happening through glassy eyes that couldn't seem to focus.

But it didn't matter, because Leah just wanted it to be over.

_She just wanted it to be done..._

Leaning back, she opened her eyes, refusing to look Tony in his. Refusing to look at his face when she pushed him back, her hands lowering, seeking out the button on his pants. Impatient, heavy fingers fumbled, taking longer than normal to free it.

She could feel a burning though – a different kind. An _urgency_ as it rushed through her veins, an anxious frustration, reminding her to hurry. Telling her to get it over with. The sooner it was done, the sooner she would prove to herself...

Prove_ what?_

The burning was changing, growing into a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. It caused her body to tremble unforgivingly, clouding every moment that led up to the one she was in. She couldn't remember a fucking thing. Holding her breath, Leah lost focus on her hands, letting them rise instead. Letting her fingers curl around Tony's shirt, pulling him back. Covering his mouth with hers...

Trying to ignore the knot as it worked its way up the back of her throat, choking her. Trying to ignore the stinging in the corners of her eyes.

Trying to make herself remember why she was there...

Trying to make it matter..._somewhere_.

But she was slipping – falling from that same edge she'd thought about earlier, watching as the bottom of a pit that had always seemed endless rushed up to greet her. Seeing it all as it opened its arms for her, preparing to swallow her whole.

Her body went limp beneath Tony's hands.

Preparing to give up...

Unable to hear. Unable to _feel_.

Except the sound of a door opening. Of metal giving way against protesting hinges, the rush of air pushing into the suffocating space surrounding her.

_The warmth at her back..._

Suddenly, the room exploded around her, pulling her back so quickly she lost her breath.

Leah's eyes flew open, her body barely having time to register the feel of _blazing_ fingers digging into her waist before her back collided with brick. Blinking frantically, she gasped, the air pushing roughly from her lungs.

Her eyes finally finding what she was looking for. Her head figuring out what was going on.

For a split second, her heart fucking stopped. Her mind was confused, but everything inside her lurched toward something else. Everything coming back.

Pulling her body straight, away from the wall.

Toward _him_.

Her eyes opened wide, lips parting, the words coming from somewhere.

"Embry, what the fuck are you doing?"

He didn't hear her, the look on his face sending a searing shiver up Leah's spine. A feral, protective expression she'd never seen him wear before, his lips pulled back slightly into a snarl. Ebony eyes bore holes through Tony's blue ones, which were wide, all bravado from them gone as his hands reached up, trying to remove the ones curled around his shirt collar.

"Get the fuck out."

Non-negotiable. A command. Leah's heart pounded. She had no idea how he was there, standing in front of her. How he'd found her, the fact alone still enough to push through her a relief – a gratitude – she hadn't expected. One strong enough to take her breath away.

She wanted to move. She _tried_ to move but she couldn't, her gaze locked unforgivingly on the person who had pulled her back.

The person who had _come_ back.

Embry released Tony, pushing him toward the door. Tony recovered, but not before he gracelessly hit the wall just next to the exit. Once he'd taken a moment, both his pride and his ego more bruised than his body, Tony let a testing chuckle escape his throat, his gaze turning on Embry.

"Really, man?" Tony shook his head, the nonchalance – the arrogance of who he was – bleeding back into his expression. "Do you know who I am?"

"No...and I don't give a fuck," Embry countered, his hands curled into fists at his sides, muscles straining beneath flesh. "Get out."

Tony didn't move. Leah shuddered as he planted both feet firmly on the ground and Embry's fists clenched tighter beside him. She closed her eyes, searching for words, some instinct that had been ingrained in her wanting to tell Embry to leave and get out. To leave _her_ alone and let her take care of it herself. To let her finish what she started.

But she couldn't do that either.

All she could do was watch, knowing what would happen the moment Tony tipped his head up, eyes narrowing in challenge. His ignorant stare fixed on the man in front of him.

"Who's going to make me?"

"Em –"

Leah wasn't sure how she found her voice, but it was too late. Before she could let the second syllable of his name fall from her tongue, Embry had crossed the distance separating him and Tony. She barely had time to take in how Tony's blue eyes widened as he drew closer.

Her gaze was too fixated on Embry, her own body unable to move as a depraved cry escaped his throat, one arm lifting. Pulling back. Moving forward without calculation, propelled by only a fraction of the force she knew he carried within.

Expecting it didn't matter. Leah still jumped, her frame shaking beneath the fury of his movements. A muted cry leaving her throat, one hand raised defensively the moment Embry's fist connected with the metal paper towel holder on the wall just inches to the left of Tony's head. The metal giving way – collapsing all the way to the wall – beneath the force of the blow.

Leah held the air in her lungs, Embry's labored breaths the only sound piercing the silence of the bathroom.

She didn't miss how Tony flinched, his face scrunching. Eyes closing, he pulled in a breath, his face relaxing again the moment he opened them. His expression once again steady. It didn't matter though because his eyes betrayed him, darting side to side like a caged animal looking for a way out. Wild with disbelief, trying to pull away from the trembling frame in front of him.

From where she stood, she swore she could hear the blood rushing through Embry's veins. Fueling him.

Refusing to relent.

Refusing to let him walk away.

"I'm not gonna ask you again."

Leah's mouth opened in a wordless reply the moment those indigo eyes shifted, landing on her. The moment Tony swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing beneath the movement.

"I'll wait for you in the car."

A part of Leah told herself to stop him, to keep him from moving, but as Tony gave Embry one last venomous glare, she didn't. As his eyes found her a final time before turning – before slipping out the bathroom door – she couldn't find it in herself to care.

The moment the door closed behind Tony – the second those endless eyes turned away from the door and refocused on her – Leah could feel everything. Figuring out the full weight of it and what it meant even if she had no idea how it happened. How _any_ of it happened...

How he'd known. Why he'd come back.

Why she finally felt like she could breathe.

The question fell from her lips anyway.

"Why are you here, Embry?" Her voice was low, raspy. Thick with that same vulnerability she'd felt the night before, half-naked and trembling in front of him.

He took a deep breath, his jaw tight as he took a few steps forward, closing the gap between them. Cornering her. Leah moved away instinctively, her own breath hitching as her back hit the brick wall.

"Why are _you_ here, Leah?" he countered, his eyes on fire with a sincerity she couldn't fathom.

But beneath the embers, she could see something else. A knowledge he already had. Answers he already knew, even though she didn't have the slightest clue how he'd figured it out. How he knew exactly where to find her. How he knew what she'd be doing.

Regardless, it grated at something inside her. That part of her that refused to be weak, no matter how much it killed her. That instinct she couldn't seem to shake. Archaic walls that had worn down beneath that gaze but hadn't decided to crumble completely.

It came from the last sliver of a stubborn heart that refused to give in.

Still, she had no answer for him, her lips parting as those eyes dug at her. Trying to see inside her and searching anyway.

Embry frowned, his forehead creasing vehemently as he leaned closer. His hands found her shoulders, fingers digging into her skin. "Is this how you forget, Leah?" he asked, throwing a glance over his shoulder toward the bathroom stall. "Is this what you think you need?"

Accusation or not, the tone of his voice fanned that same fire inside her. Whether he meant it or not, all she could hear was judgment laced within his words.

It was almost enough to mask the shudder that ripped through her, the heat of his palms soaking into her skin.

"Fuck you," she spat out, reaching up and roughly brushing his hands away. For a moment, her strength matched his, the absence of heat palpable the moment she did. "You don't know a god damn thing about me, Embry."

Leah tried to push him away, her palms bracing against his chest.

He moved too fast, catching her wrists between deft fingers, a vicious cry escaping her lips when he brought them up, pinning her arms to the wall behind her. Trapping her.

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me," he pressed on unforgivingly, his voice thick with a passionate determination. His face was inches from hers, his proximity causing her chest to heave with labored breaths as he forced her to stand there. To look into those eyes. To hear what he had to say.

"I know who you are, Leah," he continued, his voice low. Steady. His expression unfaltering. "_You_ don't...not anymore."

The words pricked at something inside her, stealing some of her resolve. Weakening her barriers just enough to cause the knot in her throat to reappear, threatening to cut off her airway completely.

Eyes closing – freeing one part of herself from his invisible hold – Leah felt her head rock back and forth, arms straining beneath his grasp. Begging to be released. Dropping slowly to her sides the moment he finally did.

"You _don't_ know, Embry..." she whispered, her palms pressing roughly against the wall, steadying herself. The coolness of it extinguishing the fire within, replaced only by the heat in front of her. The one reaching out, trying desperately to get over the wall. To find that weakness in her it somehow created long before.

"I do," he said firmly, her eyes opening as he took her face between both large hands. Forcing her to look at him, the sounds from the bar just on the other side of the door faded the longer he held her gaze. Making sure what he said was the only thing she would hear. "I do..._you_ don't. _They_ don't." For a split second, his eyes redirected to the spot Tony had stood moments earlier.

Taking a deep breath, she released it, held prisoner by those eyes. Knowing there was nothing she could do but listen.

She could feel it. Something deep inside her rising quickly – a part she had felt the night before. The one that reached out to him, silently begging him to stay. Crashing its way front and center, screaming with an urgency that left her breathless.

His fingers were searing against her skin, and she could feel herself start to tremble, still unable to look away from those eyes. The same ones that had always seen through all the bullshit. All the facades. Through all the fucking walls and armor.

_Just like they were doing in that moment..._

His breath pushed warmly across her lips when he spoke.

"A long time ago, you told me something..." His voice was soft. Determined. "You told me that no matter what someone made me think about myself – that no matter what _I _thought – it wouldn't matter...because there would always be others there waiting to remind me who I was." His fingers were softer on her face, keeping her in place. It wouldn't have made a difference anyway, because she couldn't move.

Even if she wanted to.

_She didn't want to..._

"That was before," she whimpered, her voice full of a sickening defeat. Her mind a sudden mess of a million thoughts. "That person...wouldn't have done what I did...she wouldn't..."

"It was an accident, Leah," Embry pushed the words out with conviction, his hands falling to her shoulders. "You have to stop punishing yourself for it."

"I'm _not_..." she murmured, the words barely audible. Unbelievable.

"You are," Embry countered, his eyes widening earnestly. "And I don't blame you for running...I don't. I don't blame you for wanting to forget, for wanting to get away from it all...but you lost yourself somewhere along the way, and all it did was make you run faster."

Shaking her head, the burning in her eyes intensified, clouding her vision.

Knowing somewhere, there was truth in his words.

With a frustrated, anguished growl, she brought her hands up between Embry's arms, rubbing her face roughly with both palms. Letting them fall limply in front of her, she processed what Embry was saying – hearing every word – but unable to form any kind of response.

"We should have stopped you...one of us should have stopped this." His hands were on her arms now, lightly brushing against her flesh, leaving goose bumps in their wake. She could feel herself lean forward, away from the wall. Toward him. Her own hands lifting, curling despondently around his forearms.

"We all failed you, Leah," he whispered, his breath pushing through her hair. "_I_ failed you."

Her eyelids fluttered closed, and she inhaled deeply through her nose, pine and sea soaking slowly into her system.

"Embry..." she breathed, feeling his lips brush her forehead. "You need to wake up... You need to realize that not everyone can be saved."

As soon as the words left her mouth, his hands grasped her shoulders, once again pushing her back. The breath left her lungs and Leah peered up at him with wide eyes, watching as his features softened, a resolve spreading across his expression.

"Maybe not, but I can try. _You_ can try," he persisted. "Just stop running. Stop running...and try."

"It's not that simple..." she said anyway.

"It _is_ that simple," he interrupted. "Stop running...just for a fucking second. Stop running and just look around..." His hand was back on her face, the heat from it everywhere, evaporating the moisture on her skin. "...and see what's right in front of you."

Leah took a shaky breath, her mind still reeling. A part of her wondered how he made it seem so easy. How the idea, coming from his lips, didn't seem so impossible.

How even though she was selfish and broken, he _knew it_. He had seen her at her worst, yet he was still there.

_He had still come back..._

"It's too late," she whispered anyway, although a bigger part of her – the largest part – wanted to believe something else. "This is who I am now, Embry. You don't want this. You don't want me."

He blinked knowingly, the corner of his mouth lifting into a small smile, stealing the breath from her chest.

She didn't respond.

She didn't have a chance.

Not before Embry moved, pushing her body against the wall. His mouth unforgivingly seeking out hers, sweeping away what words she had left.

Fingers curling around his arms, Leah responded with an urgency that left her breathless. She tasted the sweetness on his lips before the warmth of his presence infiltrated her senses all over again, winding its way deliriously through her veins. Taking everything else with it.

Helping her to feel everything. _Again_.

Losing herself in it all – how fucking good it felt, how _right_ it felt – the need in the way his mouth moved against hers enough to send her reeling.

Doing its best to convince her that maybe stopping – that maybe looking around – would be worth it.

Maybe _he_ would be worth it.

Maybe _she_ was...

But even then she fought herself, her heart pounding against the overwhelming power of what she felt. Forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut, pressing back against his shoulders. Leah pushed him away in one swift movement even as her trembling fingers absentmindedly moved to her tingling lips.

She opened her eyes to see Embry watching her insistently, eyes dark, mouth pressed into a thin line as his hands fell to her bare shoulders

"Is that what it feels like? When they kiss you?"

She couldn't respond, her lungs aching with a need for air. Her lips still burning from the warmth of his breath. She could feel the stinging in the corner of her eyes return, fingers curling unforgivingly into his arms. Holding on for dear life.

"It doesn't..." he whispered, answering his own question. Leaning in once again, his palm captured her cheek as he pressed his forehead against hers. "It doesn't because _they_ don't want you, Leah. They don't give a shit about you. None of them do, and no matter what you think...I do. I always have. And that's why I came back... so you would see it."

Swallowing, Leah blinked rapidly, her head shaking beneath his persistence. Her mind spinning.

"I don't think I can..." she whispered, her voice cracking from the weight of it. Knowing _exactly_ what it was he wanted her to see. "I don't think I know how to _let_ you, Embry... not anymore."

Embry pulled back, just enough to look her deeply in the eyes, his features softening when she felt his fingers trace the line of her jaw.

"You don't have to," he murmured sincerely, the truth of it hanging tangibly from his words. "You told me once not to walk away from you...that's what I'm doing. I'm _here_...telling you that I'm not gonna walk away. Not again. Not _ever_...because I'm part of your pack, Leah, and we don't give up on pack, and I'm not gonna give up on you...because you're worth it. You're worth it to me, and I'll show you...I'll _remind_ you, if you let me."

Taking a deep breath, she held it. Keeping the air inside her – keeping it _all_ inside her. Embry's words – the delirious high he'd somehow created inside her, the undeniable conviction in his words – wrapping around her pounding heart. Replicating more feelings she hadn't felt in years. Safety. Need.

_Worth_.

Feelings she'd felt more than ever since he walked back into her life.

_This is what you need._

_He knows who you are..._

But Leah let go, and it had nothing to do with her own stubborn resolve – with what she thought she needed.

She let go because _he_ wasn't going to, even though a part of her didn't _want_ him to. That same part that _needed_ him, knowing he was right in front of her. That she could have it if she wanted.

And it scared the shit out of her because similar feelings had only led her to where she was...

At a point – one that felt entirely too much like a crossroads – where that fear was stronger than ever.

But so was the _need_. To hang on to who he was.

To hang on to him. Telling her not to leave. Not that time.

_Not ever._

But she let go. In that moment – one where she could see there was a choice he was offering her, one he didn't have to speak – the same fear became more powerful, prying her fingers from him one by one. The tiny shred of resolve she had left in her rushing to her legs, knees bending as her back slid down the wall. As she ducked beneath his arm, freeing herself from his hold.

She stumbled, taking a step away. The moisture gathering frantically in the corners of her eyes when she saw the pained, desolate look in his eyes. His expression finally faltering, a desperation replacing the strength in it.

Like one step away had made him give up hope that he was ever going to get through to her.

_I can't..._

Leah could hear the words she wanted to say in her head. She could feel them, thick and heavy in her mouth, but when she opened her lips, they stayed where they were, nothing but silence escaping her body. Her eyes holding his as her back found the door, fingers curling around the handle.

_Stop running..._

He took a step toward her.

"I..." She pushed the word out, her voice cracking as it traveled the space between them. She shook her head, holding a hand in front of her, hoping like hell he would understand...why she was leaving.

Even if in that moment, she didn't understand it herself.

"Leah..."

Her breath caught in her throat, lips parting as she opened the door, letting in the onslaught of noises and smells from the bar outside. Choking her.

"I'm _sorry_," she whispered.

She tore her eyes from his, causing a searing pain to rip through her insides the moment she stepped through the door, leaving him on the other side.

Weaving around bodies, her feet moved faster than she thought possible. Allowing her to escape, refusing to look back even though something inside her kept fucking pulling, urging her another direction. Demanding she turn around. Her mind disconnected from her body as she pushed through the crowd in the bar, working her way toward the door. Her eyes focused but not really seeing it.

Leaving Embry behind...

And not really knowing why. Despite her fears. Despite all the reasons she could probably come up with if she just had a moment to stop and think – to get her head on straight and remember why she lived her life the way she did in the first place. Why she'd set out to prove something to herself. Why she couldn't fucking remember what it was...

_So why was she still running?_

The warm air outside the bar slammed into her like a brick wall, filling her lungs. Allowing her to breathe but doing little to ease the war going on inside her. Her feet carried her toward the curb – to a sleek, black car containing a part of her she wasn't sure she wanted anymore.

Opening the door to the back seat, she slid into the silence of the vehicle, closing the door behind her. The stale air inside it clawed at her lungs.

"So..." She could hear Tony's voice beside her, a suggestive undertone to it, causing her blood to go cold. She could feel him lean closer, encroaching on a space that already felt suffocating. "How about we just pretend that didn't happen, huh? Pick up where we left off..."

Leah's lips parted.

She closed her eyes.

She could feel his breath against the curve of her neck, his mouth pressing a destitute kiss to her flesh.

And in that moment, it all came back.

Her _head_ came back.

Separated from the noise and the smells and everything she had once counted on, it all pushed to the surface, brought forth by the feel of his mouth on her skin. Bearing down on her with a jarring clarity, just like it had earlier that night. Before the bar. Before Tony.

Before _Embry_ had come back.

_Before his words rooted somewhere inside her..._

Each one of them making perfect sense of her imperfect life.

Leah could see it all, playing out like a bad movie behind her eyelids. Every night she spent in that fucking bar. Every guy she'd taken while there. Every guy she'd taken _with_ her when she left. How she challenged them to scale impenetrable walls _she_ built to protect herself, knowing they would always fail – at reaching the top. At making her forget. At making her feel something. At allowing her to hurt them.

At hurting _her_...

But Leah could also see that, little by little, they had done exactly that.

She could _feel_ it – the proof in how Tony's hands moved on her body in that moment, his mouth on her flesh. Uncaring. Unfeeling. _Cold_.

And it had always been that way. So subtle that over time, it was barely perceptible.

But now, she had something to compare it to.

And it hurt. It hurt like hell, and she could see where they all succeeded. How when it was over, they all walked away, just like she wanted. Just after she walked away from them.

How every time she did, she left a little piece of what was left of her with them.

How after six years, it felt like there was nothing left to give. Nothing that mattered.

Because she never mattered to them.

And Leah could see it...

How she no longer mattered to herself either.

But to _Embry_, she did.

She didn't fucking understand it. She didn't know why he had walked back into her life. Why he had come back. He_ saw_ it though. He'd _always_ seen it – some piece of herself she thought she lost along the way, one she couldn't feel anymore. One she wasn't sure how to find.

One Leah desperately wanted back...

And a part of her wondered. A part of her couldn't help but think that maybe she had ran so far she ended up at the beginning. At the starting line, in front of the very person who was standing there the moment her feet first hit the ground.

And maybe it was time to take another step.

A step _back_.

Because Leah wanted a lot of things...

But she didn't want what she had – what she'd gotten used to. That frozen feeling. That sense of being stuck. Of drowning in her own self-hatred with no visible way out – no way except the one she'd always taken.

She wanted to rest. She wanted to breathe. She didn't want to run.

She wanted to stop.

She wanted to see what would happen if she did.

_She wanted to trust Embry..._

And Leah wanted to let him show her. To let go – if only for a moment. To let him see if he could find the woman he remembered. The one he kept fighting for.

The one she yearned to be again, even if she had no idea how to find her.

To help her prove to herself she needed something more than the bottomless existence she called a life.

Blinking, Leah once again found herself staring at the back of the passenger seat. Eyes wide open, she remembered who was next to her. She could feel Tony's cool palm on her thigh, pressing against her flesh as it crept under the hem of her dress.

Closing her eyes, her own hand lowered over his, stopping it. Keeping him from going any further.

She shook her head, the movement causing the lips at her throat to cease.

She opened her mouth, unfamiliar words forming on her tongue.

_Welcome_ words leaving her lips.

"I can't do this..."

* * *

Embry let his head fall back against the elevator wall with a hard thump, his eyes closing as he listened to the distant bell ticking off the floors, taking him swiftly to his hotel room. Taunting him.

Ticking off every _almost_. Every attempt he made.

Every single time he had failed. Just like he had that night.

_Again._

She'd somehow managed to evade him all night. He went to the firm he knew she worked at, only to find Autumn's confused stare when he showed up. To find out Leah hadn't gone into work that day. The helplessness in Autumn's voice when he asked where she was – where he could find her – only tightened the knot in his stomach. All she could do was shake her head and tell him that she didn't know.

But the phone had rang just as he was about to turn away. Wide eyes held on to his when Autumn answered it, quietly telling someone on the other end of the line that Leah wasn't in. Watching as her brows furrowed in confusion, the corners of her cherry-red lips pulling into a frown.

Embry suddenly couldn't move.

Autumn had hung up the phone slowly, her gaze refocusing on Embry.

"I could lose my job for this," she whispered, her eyes darting frantically in every direction. "But that was one of Leah's clients. He called to, um...to ask if she was here and to confirm their meeting tonight at Murphy's..."

He recognized the name long before Autumn's expression gave anything away.

He remembered seeing it on a sign just before he walked in.

He remembered the bartender's voice...

"_Come back later though. It's Thursday...the company here's usually better than me..."_

Embry had taken the long way there, making one stop first. Standing outside her apartment for longer than he should have, he tried to gather courage he hadn't thought he would need as the sun sank beneath a distant, invisible horizon. Marking the time he had left to find her before things only got worse.

Taking a deep breath, he went in, heart pounding when he reached her door. It ceased to beat altogether the moment he lifted his hand, fingers curling into a fist before letting it knock lightly on the cool steel.

It sank when he didn't hear a fucking thing.

But he didn't stand there long. He left, knowing he would come back if he had to – if she wasn't at the next and last place he would look. Knowing he would sit outside her door all night if he was _forced_ to.

When he finally made it to the bar counter, his gaze scanning the crowd for her, he didn't need to look anymore. He found the answer he was looking for the moment Kyle's eyes caught his. The moment the other man jerked his head toward the back of the building, that same knowing look in his eyes from earlier.

And somehow Embry just knew – what was happening. Where to go. Where to look.

Where to find her.

But she fucking slipped through his fingers..._again_. She left and he had stood there. He stood there for one fucking second too long before his legs decided to work. Before he went after her, pushing through the people, trying to make his way to the door. His heart racing faster every time he looked into a pair of eyes that weren't hers, when his gaze landed on a face that was too light. Too dark.

The city air plowed into him the moment his feet hit the concrete in front of the bar, eyes still searching frantically for any sign of Leah in the bodies littering the sidewalk outside.

But he saw nothing, and he tried harder than hell to hang on to what little hope he had left.

He walked back to his hotel, suddenly needing that fresh air. Trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do after he'd laid all his cards on the table, after he'd used every weapon – every piece of ammunition – he had in his arsenal. After he'd practically ripped his heart from his chest and offered it to her, bleeding and wanting in the palms of his hands.

He had no idea what he was going to do.

But it didn't matter. It didn't matter because he'd figure out a way to keep trying. He'd find a new way to get through, if that's what it came to.

He would try – every fucking day – until his plane took him back to La Push.

Maybe even after, if he had to.

With a sigh, Embry's gaze lowered as the elevator doors opened. Pushing himself off the wall, he exited the small space, feet moving slowly. His hand pushed into his back pocket, his eyes trained on the intricate carpet pattern beneath him as fingers dug for the key card to his room.

Finding it, he pulled it from his pocket.

Looking up, his legs stopped. His entire body froze when his eyes found something else, landing unexpectedly on the person sitting on the floor in front of his door. Long copper legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles. Holding his breath, his fingers gripped the key card tighter, his gaze traveling up until they found a pair of wide, dark brown eyes already looking back at him.

He smiled.

And Leah smiled back, the churning in her stomach lessening by a fraction at his gesture. She wasn't sure what to expect when he finally showed up or how he would react. If he would even show up at _all_, but she knew – that slight, knowing smile was the best possible outcome after everything that had happened. After everything she'd done. After all the times she pushed him away.

Licking her lips, she lowered her eyes, her gaze inexplicably focused on his shoes.

"So the security at this hotel is pretty fucking terrible," she finally spoke, a small laugh escaping her throat. "All it took was a little cleavage for the guy at the front desk to crack and give me your room number."

Leah's laugh fell short when Embry didn't answer, his silence the only response. Her heart stuttered in her chest, second-guessing herself. Second-guessing everything. Wondering if maybe she had truly fucked up whatever it was between them before it even started.

That maybe she'd pushed him too far that time...

And for a second, she couldn't breathe.

He took a step forward, and Leah looked up. Finding the smile gone from his lips but seeing the same softness in his eyes, one laced with a hundred questions she wasn't sure she could answer.

But she would try... even if she could only answer one.

_She would try..._

"Why are you here, Leah?"

Her eyes watched as his arm lifted from his side, reaching for her. Leah regarded his outstretched hand for a moment. Finding her breath, she took it, allowing him to pull her trembling body to her feet.

Straightening her dress, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, leaning against the doorframe leading to his room. Looking up, she took a deep breath, holding his curious gaze as she spoke.

"I ran," she replied quietly, "but I'm not sorry..."

"Leah," he interrupted her, taking another step forward, stopping when she held one hand out to silence him. Her expression unchanged but her eyes pleading to let her finish.

"I'm _not_ sorry," she repeated with finality, holding on to those eyes for everything she was worth. Finding that last bit of strength she needed to _stop_. To take that first step back. "I'm not sorry because somehow...I ended up here."

Embry's eyes closed at her words, his shoulders rising and falling with a deep, labored breath. Almost like it was the first one he'd taken all day. Her lungs mimicked the action, providing her with her own kind of peace. One she wasn't used to but wasn't going to question.

"And right now," she whispered, "that's all I can give you." His gaze was back again, silently telling her he was listening. "But that's more than I've given anyone in a long time, and...it has to be enough."

He still didn't speak, and Leah's eyes searched his for something – anything – to show her he understood.

He didn't speak, taking another step toward her, closing that last bit of distance. His eyes refused to release hers as his arms lifted, taking her face between his hands. She held her breath, feeling that familiar heat once again. Eyes closing, she relished it – savored it that time – as it soaked into her skin.

_He didn't speak_, but he said everything he needed to when she felt warm lips press against her forehead. Softly. Gently. Carrying more promise than she needed, but one she held on to anyway.

Realizing in that moment just how much she _truly_ needed it.

And she didn't protest – she didn't speak a word either – when she felt his hands lower. When his arms wrapped around her body, pulling him to her. Surrounding her with his warmth. His scent. Cocooning her in that same silent promise.

She didn't pull away.

She didn't _run_ away.

Leah planted her feet. Taking a deep breath, every muscle in her body relaxed, for the first time her arms finding their own way around his waist. Surrendering to what he was offering her. What he had offered her all along...

A family. A protector.

A piece of the home she left, even if he was still a part of it. Even if she wasn't sure if or _how_ she could ever be again.

But in that moment, it didn't matter.

She relaxed into his embrace, knowing whatever road lay ahead of her wouldn't be easy. She swallowed the fear she knew was still in her somewhere, letting the heat from Embry's arms sweep it away. All of it – the scars she still wore. But more so, the battles she had yet to fight. Ones she had to remember how to win.

_It didn't matter..._

Because in that moment, she would let Embry remember for her.

And maybe in time, she'd learn to remember too.

* * *

_**AN: *Cue the singers and the hallelujah chorus* Amiright?! ;)**_

_**See that, guys? That ladder I strategically set up in this chapter? You know that means right? While there will be still be challenges to come, more dips here and there, and more story to tackle, Leah's on that ladder – climbing her way back up. Woooot!**_

_**Huge thanks to all those who reviewed the last chapter. I sucked again, but I got all the notes and you all rock my world.**_

_**Anyway, thoughts?! REALLY can't wait to hear them. :)**_


	10. Welcome

_****__****__****__****____**Disclaimer: **__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "Bones" by Ben Howard, "Halcyon" by Ellie Goulding, "Sweater Weather" by The Neighborhood, "Lonely Hands" by Angus & Julia Stone, "Youth" by Daughter**_

Sighing heavily, Leah trailed her fingers over the numerous bottles of wine on the shelf of the corner grocery a few blocks from her loft, hand pausing momentarily over a bottle of merlot she'd tried before. Taking a deep breath, she tried to squelch the weird, somewhat lost feeling deep in her gut.

She didn't think it would feel so odd, trying to remember what normal, less broken people did with their Friday nights – Friday nights that didn't include the bar she normally called home.

The itch was still there, buried somewhere. It was like a debilitating habit – an addiction that wouldn't be easy to break.

But that wasn't happening. Not anymore.

If she was going to have any real chance at mending the pieces of her life, she had to go cold turkey. Cut the problem off at the source. Make a clean break.

Starting with Friday night.

In her purse was a movie she'd picked up at the video store she'd spotted a few doors down after getting off her train from the city, even if she wasn't sure she was going to watch it. The idea was stuck in her head though, some foreign notion that involved it, a pair of sweatpants, and a bowl of popcorn in her lap.

Come to think of it, she was pretty sure she didn't even _own_ a fucking pair of sweatpants...

Leah shook her head, trying to rid herself of the ridiculous thoughts, realizing they didn't matter. So long as she didn't do what she'd _been_ doing. What she had done before, because that was a better step than none at all.

And she'd taken the first step she needed to the night before.

Closing her eyes, the memories were still loud and clear in her mind.

When she'd finally pulled away from Embry, still standing outside his hotel room, he'd smiled at her before reaching around and quietly unlocking the door. He didn't speak – didn't invite her in – but a part of her knew she couldn't leave. Going home wasn't an option. She didn't want to be alone, still somewhat unsure of her determination and whether or not it would see her through the night. If it would still be there in the morning.

So she followed him into the darkness of the room, one hand subconsciously reaching out, capturing the hem of his t-shirt between shaking fingers. Hanging on, even as he slowed down slightly but pretended not to notice.

Eventually, she let him go, closing the door and allowing her body to relax against the cool wood. Embry took a few steps into the silent room before turning around, catching her gaze.

"I'll be right back," he whispered, soft eyes holding hers for a moment and his voice nearly getting lost in the darkness.

Leah nodded, watching him make his way across the room, turning on the light in the bathroom before closing the door.

She lost track of how long she stood there, seconds ticking by before she finally straightened, absentmindedly kicking off her heels and leaving them where they landed by the door. Leaving the lights off, her feet carried her across the room even though she wasn't completely sure why. Hands moved, reaching behind her, inexplicably steady fingers finding the small zipper on her dress. Lowering it in one swift movement, she allowed the garment to fall to the floor. The sounds of Embry moving inside the bathroom barely registered as she stepped over the heap in which it landed.

Again, she wasn't sure why she had done it – what she was hoping to accomplish – when she leaned forward, hands pressing into the plush comforter covering the immaculately made bed. Why she crawled onto it, crossing the short distance before reaching the pillows and allowing her body, clothed in nothing but her underwear, to stretch out on her side. To feel the icy cold material against her flesh.

_She'd always avoided beds..._

But all she knew was she was still exhausted. Still so tired.

She didn't want to leave. She wanted to be there...where she felt safe, knowing if she woke up in the morning and Embry's face was the first thing she saw, she wouldn't forget. She would remember his words.

She would remember he was there, and she would remember why she was too.

Her eyes were still wide and alert when the bathroom door opened, flooding the room in light for a single moment before it once again was plunged into darkness. Leah held her breath, listening as Embry hesitated in the doorway. As his feet finally carried him toward the bed, the sound of every movement loud and clear in her ears.

Leah still didn't breathe when she felt the bed behind her give way beneath his weight, her entire body stiff, waiting for him to say something – to protest. To tell her whatever she was doing wasn't a good idea, considering what they'd just been through and what Embry had witnessed earlier that night.

Swallowing thickly, a deeply embedded part of her expected him to send her away.

But Embry never spoke a word.

Leah finally drew in a deep, relieved breath the moment she felt that consuming heat at her back. When a strong arm wrapped around her body without a single sound, pulling her closer to that warmth. Wrapping her in it the same way he had minutes earlier when they were standing in the hallway, the same way he had so many years ago when her life had irrevocably changed. Before it all fell apart, back when she was terrified and alone and in danger of losing herself completely.

Embry didn't move. He simply held her.

And she let him.

One by one, every tense, exhausted muscle in Leah's body relaxed. She finally closed her eyes, her entire body curling into his, wanting to lose herself in all of it. She listened to him breathe, each exhale warm as it pushed through her hair, his mouth unmoving even though it rested gently against the back of her head.

Neither of them moved, but it wasn't long before she closed her eyes, Embry's even breaths – the rise and fall of his chest against her back, the comfort of his arm wrapped tightly around her – pulling Leah into a deep, dreamless sleep.

When her eyes opened the next morning, it didn't take long for that heat to soak back into her senses. Leah held her breath, realizing neither one of them had moved throughout the night.

A part of her didn't want to disturb that.

That was all it took, a few moments at the beginning of a new day – Embry's arm still draped across her body, the sound of soft snores filtering through the early-morning light – for her to remember every word that passed between them the night before. To once again feel everything that pushed through her veins in that car. What she felt when she was sitting outside Embry's door, and when he pulled her into his arms after she told him she would try.

To realize it was still there.

All of it, and so was that strength, tucked right beside a fierce – and maybe even premature – determination to do better.

Blinking, the bottles of wine reappeared in front of Leah. Hesitating for a single moment, she took a deep, cleansing breath, eventually letting her hand move from the bottle of merlot. She continued down the aisle till she reached the whites, her eyes landing on a Sauvignon blanc with a colorful label.

_Something different. _

Pulling her lip between her teeth, she reached up, deft fingers swiping it from the shelf and depositing it in the basket hanging from her arm.

Walking slowly back up the aisle, Leah's mind drifted, thinking of dinner. The thought didn't stay long, interrupted by the trilling of her cell phone.

Shifting the basket to her other arm, Leah reached into her purse, rummaging through its contents until she located the phone. Pulling it out in one swift movement, her gaze fell on the caller ID, a subtle warmth crawling through her veins the moment she did.

A slight smile pulled at her lips when she hit the button to answer it, lifting the phone to her ear.

"You better have a Brat Pack movie to contribute to my Friday night in or else I'm hanging up on you," she said in exchange for a greeting, letting her eyes trail over the bottles of wine to her left.

On the other end of the line, Embry snorted in surprise. "Well, lucky for you, I remembered to pack my copy of Pretty in Pink before I left."

Laughing, Leah welcomed the way Embry made her feel – like she wasn't facing a night she wasn't sure she could handle. Like her idea wasn't the most ridiculous thing she could come up with. Reaching into her purse to snag her wallet, she precariously balanced the shopping basket on her hip and the phone against her shoulder.

She and Embry went their separate ways that morning – Leah back to her apartment to shower, change, and face two days worth of work she knew she'd have to catch up on, and Embry to his meeting with the head of the company that wanted to invest money in the new garage. When Leah finally showed up at the office, she dodged Autumn's twenty questions about the day before – most of them skeptical in nature and probing about the sickness Leah hadn't actually come down with. Eventually she sent Autumn to a not-so-important meeting with a smaller client just to get the other woman out of her hair for a couple hours.

Finally leaving work for the day, she kept her phone close by. Staring out the train window on her way back to Bucktown, a part of her thought about calling Embry to see how the meeting went, but another part didn't want to push it. She wasn't sure how far he would step onto the welcome mat she'd barely placed outside the door.

And Leah wasn't sure how far _she_ could step onto it just yet.

Yet she couldn't ignore the relief she felt standing in the aisle of the store, catching herself not minding so much – recognizing that same warmth, even though it somehow felt different – as she listened to his familiar laugh dwindle on the other end of the line.

"Perfect," she murmured, letting a moment of silence pass between them before pausing in the middle of the aisle. Frowning, she could hear the sounds of many voices on his end, like he was caught in the bustle of a large crowd of people. "Where are you?"

"Some place called Whole Foods," he replied eventually, and Leah pulled her lip between her teeth to keep from laughing. "I asked concierge for a grocery store, and this is where they sent me. This place is fucking...overwhelming."

"Yeah," she murmured. "It's a little much. A far cry from the Thriftway in Forks."

"No shit," he countered. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure it has what I'm looking for...I just need to find it first."

Leah fell in line behind a small handful of people at the single checkout inside the store. "And what are you looking for exactly?"

Embry chuckled. "Dinner."

Leah's mind drifted for a moment while she chewed on his response. Granted, it had been dark in his hotel room, but she couldn't remember a kitchen hidden anywhere inside the suite.

She opened her mouth to respond, aimlessly tossing a magazine into the basket, before Embry interrupted her.

"Speaking of that...do you have plans tonight?"

Taking a deep breath, earlier thoughts came back to her quickly, eyes falling on the basket containing the magazine and the bottle of wine she'd picked out at random. Heaving a forlorn sigh, she shook her head. "No..."

"Good," Embry came back, the metallic sound of a voice over a loudspeaker echoing through the earpiece of Leah's phone. "Because these dinner plans involve you."

Lips parting, Leah's eyebrows arched in surprise. "Oh, really?"

"Oh, yes," he replied knowingly. "Where are you right now?"

Smirking, Leah shook her head, the tone of his voice nothing if not determined. Letting her know without saying it that regardless of what she thought, there would be no opposition to his idea – and it wasn't up for discussion.

But deep down, Leah wasn't sure she wanted to protest.

"About four blocks from my place," she answered.

"Good," he said quickly. "Go home when you're done. I'll be there in an hour."

"Embry..." Leah mumbled, not entirely convinced that what she was about to say was what she really wanted. "There's gotta be about a thousand better things to do in Chicago on a Friday night than babysit me."

Embry scoffed. "Who said anything about babysitting?" he retorted. "I need to eat, you need to eat, and I need a kitchen. Problem solved."

Leah blinked, staring blankly at the back of the bald head of the person in front of her. "You're cooking?"

Silence. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well...no, but..."

"But nothing," he cut in, Leah's mouth still hanging open. "Wherever you are, go home when you're done. I'll be there in about an hour or so. Maybe a little longer...if I can ever find where they hide the meat in this place."

Laughing in spite of herself, Leah shook her head, her stomach suddenly a huge fucking ball of nerves as the reality of what was going to happen that night set in. A part of her unable to _not_ feel like it would be some sort of a test – a do-over for both of them while, at the same time, the first attempt by Embry to stick his toe in the door she had barely opened for him the night before.

But even she knew it was something she couldn't argue – the necessity of it. The knowledge that _she_ had welcomed it, despite only saying a few words.

Still, it all felt new. Foreign, but in a completely different way, and that time she had nothing to hide behind. No walls, no boundaries. Whether she liked it or not, she'd let her guard down the night before just long enough for Embry to climb in with her.

He was there...and he wasn't going anywhere. That much she did know. That much she'd figured out already, and a large part of her couldn't refute the fact she was thankful for it, even if she didn't know how to say it. Even if she didn't know how to tell him.

So she said the next best thing.

"Fine," she gave in, offering a small smile to the checker as he greeted her. "You remember how to get there?"

"Yup," Embry answered surely. "So I'll see you in an hour?"

Leah nodded, swallowing what little anxiety lingered in her throat.

"See you in an hour."

* * *

Leah was standing in the middle of her kitchen – tightly gripping the neck of the wine bottle under one hand and using the other to twist the corkscrew further into the top of it – when she heard the knock on her door.

Taking a deep breath, she released her grip on it, wiping clammy palms on the front of her shorts before turning and hurrying toward the entryway. She paused for a moment in front of the mirror that hung opposite the door. She'd gone no frills for the night – tattered jean shorts, a simple white tank top and her midnight hair swept up into a messy bun.

Leah closed her eyes, unsure of why her appearance suddenly mattered. Embry had seen her in worse and less and the way she looked in that moment was nothing compared to that. Groaning quietly, she turned around, taking the few steps needed to reach the door. She unlocked the deadbolt, letting trembling fingers curl around the doorknob.

She opened it to a grinning Embry, who was holding a paper bag under one arm and a six-pack of beer in the other hand.

Leaning against the doorframe, Leah shook her head, laughing before she could stop herself. "I have booze here, you know," she chuckled, pointing at the container of bottles in his right hand.

Embry lifted one eyebrow teasingly, eyes never leaving hers. "I brought my own this time." His lips pursed together, still watching Leah as she found herself unable to look away, captivated by how his expression closely resembled the one she had seen a week earlier in the bar. The one she'd seen for the first time in six years, an expression that carried a lightness – an exuberance – she'd stolen the moment she opened her mouth and spoke to him.

The eyebrow went back up. "Can I come in?"

Blinking, Leah nodded wildly, taking a step back. "Yeah...of course. Sorry."

Holding on to the door, she stepped aside long enough for Embry to walk by, closing it behind him. Once he was out of sight, she paused for a moment, taking another deep breath to gather her bearings. To push all the inexplicable nerves as far down as she could before following him into the kitchen.

Embry was standing at the kitchen island when she walked in, pulling packages out of the grocery bag.

"I like your place," he said quietly without looking up from his task.

Leah smiled as she approached the island, sliding into one of the stools she'd pulled up to it earlier. Reaching forward, she pulled over the bottle of wine to finish uncorking it. "Thanks," she murmured, finally removing the cork from the bottle. As she untwisted it from the utensil, she let her eyes wander over the spread of groceries Embry was placing over the countertop. Italian sausage, fresh basil, mushrooms...

"So...what exactly are you making?"

Grinning easily, Embry didn't look up from what he was doing. "Spaghetti...well, my version of it."

Lifting her own eyebrow in curiosity, Leah poured herself a glass of wine – still watching Embry as she did – trying to remember any time from before when he had indicated an interest in cooking. Regardless, she came up short.

"Wanna help?" Embry's gaze lifted, sincerity plastered across his expression.

Eyes widening slightly, Leah shook her head. "You don't want my help, trust me...pretty sure I could burn water if I tried hard enough."

Rolling his eyes, Embry folded up the paper bag and placed it on the counter behind him. "Where do you keep the knives?"

"Top drawer, right next to the stove."

Following her instructions, Embry retrieved a chef's knife from the drawer, bringing it back to the island and sliding it across the butcher-block surface toward Leah. "Pretty sure you can't screw anything up by helping me chop stuff."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Leah grumbled, a quiet chuckle following her words when Embry handed her the basil and garlic. "You might lose a thumb from all the way over there." When Embry laughed, she let one corner of her mouth lift with an amused smile. "I definitely did not get my mother's cooking genes..."

Embry paused for a moment, watching her as she opened the container of basil. "How is your mom?" he asked tentatively.

Leah shrugged, ignoring how her heart pounded instinctively beneath the question. How the subtle ache in her chest appeared, the same one that showed up almost every time she thought about either her mother or her brother.

"You tell me...you probably talk to her more than I do."

"Why do you say that?" Embry's voice was farther away, thick with a nonchalance she knew he was using on purpose. Still, Leah glanced up to see him searching her cupboards for pots and pans.

Swallowing, she took a calming breath, pulling out a few sprigs of basil from the packaging. "I only talk to her every few months or so, and when I do, it's not for very long." Lining up the herbs beneath the knife, Leah began to chop.

"She never said anything, you know..."

Looking up from what she was doing, Leah frowned at Embry's back as he filled a pot of water at the sink. "What do you mean?"

"About where you were," Embry replied, still not turning around. "We would ask...a lot, but she would never give us the answers we wanted."

"You asked her?" The surprise in Leah's voice, to hear Embry talk about how he and the others had attempted to find her, wasn't something she could hide.

Finally, he turned from the sink, his gaze finding hers as he approached the stove. "Yeah. Like I said...a lot. But I guess if there's one thing you did get from her, it was the fact you're both stubborn as hell."

The small truth of it allowed the smile to stay where it was, but inside, Leah couldn't quite swallow back the subtle flare of regret and anger she felt listening to Embry talk about it. Anger toward her mother, and anger toward herself.

A part of her couldn't blame her mother for what she'd done, for simply doing what Leah told her to do – to keep her mouth shut, to listen when Leah asked her not to tell anyone where she was. She never wanted to be found and she made it perfectly clear to her mother, using every tactic she could think of to keep her quiet. Threatening to never come home again if she breathed a word of it to anyone, even though in reality, Leah never had any intention of going back to La Push.

The anger in Leah's stomach melted quickly into a crippling remorse, but she kept it inside, letting her eyes follow Embry as he moved around the kitchen. Leah's actions, the belief that her pack had never tried to find her. But more so, it was the hard place she had put her own mother in – a spot somewhere between a fierce sense of loyalty toward her daughter and the fear of never seeing her again, suddenly slapped her in the face with a jarring clarity.

But after a handful of years, and especially in that moment, it wasn't difficult to see the other side of it.

Sue Clearwater had given up on her daughter – on the hope of ever getting through to her. Of ever getting her to come to her senses. She'd lost faith in Leah's threats. She'd given up, thinking her daughter was too far gone.

Cutting her losses, and Leah knew it, so she'd stopped trying right along with her mother.

And that hurt worst of all, knowing that was something that lay ahead of her – something she would someday have to fix, even if she had no idea how. Even though she knew deep down, she was the one who had broken it in the first place.

Still, a part of her couldn't help but think – the same part watching Embry's fluid movements as he navigated her kitchen – that maybe her mother could have fucking tried a little harder too.

But Leah pushed it from her mind, saving it someplace inside her for later, focusing her stare on the basil spread out across the island. Focusing on the _night_ in front of her and reminding herself to take it all one step at a time.

"So how did the meeting go this morning?"

Pouring olive oil into a frying pan that now rested on top of the stove, Embry turned around, a blinding smile on his face.

"I sign the papers next week."

Letting go of the knife, Leah couldn't help it as her mouth fell open in astonishment. "Oh, my god! Embry...that's fantastic!"

Leaning against the counter next to the stove, Embry crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I know. Jake was there over conference call and he liked everything he heard and so did the old man, so...everything's pretty much a go."

Smiling, Leah brushed the basil into a small pile before reaching for the garlic. "Well, congratulations, big shot." Looking up, she winked at Embry, who still had the grin attached to his lips.

"Thanks," he said quietly, his eyes dancing as he watched her. "I guess it hasn't really sunk in yet. Probably gonna need at least another day or two to wrap my head around the fact it's actually real, you know? That it's actually happening."

"So, you never told me," Leah continued, looking up from the garlic, "where's the new garage going to be?"

"Just outside of Port Angeles," Embry replied, not moving from his spot, his gaze still fixed on Leah. "Jake's got his eye on a building for sale on the west side of town near the highway. Now that the meeting is over, I'd imagine he'll probably be heading up there Monday to get the ball rolling. They're not asking much for it, and the market is better there than anywhere else in the county."

Leah wasn't sure why she frowned, the sound of the knife clicking against the kitchen island the only one she could hear. "So, you'd have to move there?"

"I don't know yet," he responded, finally taking a step forward and transferring the sausage to the counter next to the stove, unwrapping it as he continued. "I haven't really decided what I want to do, although it would probably be easier if I _did_ move there. It would be an almost forty-five minute commute one way if I didn't."

"That'll probably be an...adjustment," Leah ventured, using her index finger to clear the knife of garlic shards, a part of her instinctively wandering back to her own memories – her own moments – where she couldn't keep her mind from home. When she couldn't help but wonder about the people she left behind, how they were doing, how life was without her.

How things might have different if she'd kept them close by...

"I wouldn't be too far from home," Embry interrupted her thoughts, negating them without even realizing it. "I think that would make it easier."

Leah didn't reply, part of her buried deep down wanting to agree with him but failing to materialize a response. Instead, she took a deep breath, letting her curiosity roam. Another part of her wanted to know more – for him to tell her more than she allowed him to say during any of the time they'd spent together that week.

To hear everything else she'd missed in _his_ life.

"So where are you living now?"

"In an apartment down by the marina," he answered, the sausage sizzling as soon as it hit the hot skillet. "Turned eighteen and pretty much got the hell out of my mom's place. It's not much, but I can walk to work from there. It's small, and nothing like this," Embry peeked over his shoulder, nodding toward Leah's loft, "but it's helped me save up money to hopefully buy my own place someday soon...and it's enough for just me."

"Just you?" Leah chuckled, pausing to take a sip of wine. "You cook, you have your own place, you're about to own a business..." She leaned back in her chair, offering him a coy, curious smile when he peered over his shoulder. "You think one of the girls on the rez woulda snatched you up by now."

With a shy smirk, Embry lowered his gaze, shaking his head. "You would think."

Leah wasn't sure why she asked, but the words fell quietly from her lips anyway. "Have there been any? Girls, I mean."

Embry's smile stayed where it was, but he still didn't look at her. "There've been a few. Longest lasted almost a year, but..." That time, he took a breath, meeting her eyes. "Since I couldn't tell any of them...about the pack, I mean...it got kind of hard after a while to come up with excuses for disappearing for hours at a time without them thinking something completely different..."

Leah swallowed roughly, knowing what he meant as she grimaced behind her hand.

Knowing perfectly well what a life like his – a life she used to have – could cost them.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again to find him watching her. "I'm sorry, Em," she said quietly.

He shrugged, shaking his head before he turned away. "Oh, well. I got over it...everything happens for a reason, and when it's not meant to be...it's not."

Leah's stomach twisted at his words, a part of her thinking he hadn't meant them for just himself.

"What about you?" he asked tentatively, unexpectedly interrupting her thoughts. "Did you ever try to date?"

Leah's insides tightened instinctively, everything inside her programmed to shut down at the question. To run from a subject she usually avoided. Taking a deep breath, she tried to push it down. To respond _differently_. To find the strength somewhere inside her to answer the question – and to give him an honest response.

"No," was the best she could come up with, shaking her head and glancing up, meeting Embry's eyes and realizing she didn't need to say more for him to understand.

But that didn't stop the words from coming out.

"Last night, you asked me why..." she murmured, watching as Embry slowly turned to face her. Abandoning what he was doing as he simply watched her, his jaw tight and his expression stoic. "It was easier that way. I got what I thought I needed and I thought there was nothing to lose when I did. What happened before..." She paused, swallowing thickly and forcing the rest of the words out. "..._couldn't_ happen if I did things that way."

She looked back to Embry in time to see the flicker of soft understanding pass through his expression.

"Leah..."

She looked away, the care in his voice prompting more words to form on her tongue – almost making her want to shut down, but she didn't, remembering the ones he'd spoken the night before. Words she was grateful for – the reason they were both sitting in the same place, having the conversation.

And she needed to say more.

"I've been messed up for a long time, Embry, and it's gonna take me even longer to get past all this shit I made for myself by doing things that way, but...I'm glad you're here...and that we're doing this." The words threatened to stick in her throat, each one of them feeling heavy and foreign and final, but she pushed them out anyway. Each one suddenly rising from a place she'd felt that morning, the night before. Words she suddenly needed to say, even if they didn't come out right.

_Telling him..._

"I'm glad it was you...that came back."

It took a moment, Leah's lips parting as her eyes finally met Embry's. Her breath catching in her chest when he gave her an easy, knowing smile. Before he turned back to the stove and Leah went back to chopping garlic, a part of her was relieved. A part of her a little lighter, simply because she managed to put a voice to the overwhelming and unexplainable gratitude she felt.

"Me too," he whispered.

* * *

"That was...really fucking good."

Leah watched Embry's shoulders shake as he laughed from where he was rinsing dishes in a sink that probably hadn't seen soapy water in the better part of a year.

The night had passed easily, much to Leah's relief. As they ate dinner, the conversation came swiftly and Leah's anxiety lessened as the minutes went by, and Embry was able to pick up on it.

"Thanks," he replied, grabbing the towel next to him and drying his hands as he turned around.

Raising her eyebrows, Leah took a sip of her wine before using her index finger to point to his left. "I do have a dishwasher, you know."

"I know," he answered, "but there wasn't that many to do...and I'm kinda used to _being_ the dishwasher. If I don't do them, they'll never get done. That's kind of where the cooking thing came from too. I mean, I can't eat dinner at Sam and..."

Embry's words stuttered – cutting off almost as abruptly as they came – but it was too late, the silence suddenly thick as Leah's stomach jumped into her throat. Taking only a second to realize it was the first time she had heard Embry say _his_ name.

He had slipped, and Leah could feel him waiting. Waiting for her to react or to see what she would say, she didn't know. Still, she closed her eyes instinctively, fingers curling tighter around the wine glass. Her chest tight, swallowing back the burn inside, forcing herself to breathe.

"I'm sorry, Leah," she heard Embry say, his voice thick with regret.

Taking another breath, she shook her head, forcing herself to open her eyes. "Say what you were gonna say," she said quietly, bending her shaking fingers into a fist. Her voice low, steady, and almost too controlled.

Embry looked hesitant, lips parted slightly and eyes latching onto hers. Seeking permission, his mouth finally moved when he found it somewhere. "I was gonna say...I can't eat dinner at Sam and Emily's every night."

It hurt. It fucking hurt like hell, stealing what little breath Leah had in her, all of it threatening to come back. Everything threatening to unravel with a simple slip of the tongue.

But she held on – to the eyes watching hers. Remembering to breathe. Nodding.

"It's...okay."

But she didn't push it. She didn't ask him to say anything more, letting her stare drop, fingers reaching out and grabbing her cell phone, which rested inches away on the top of the island.

"Bella helped a lot, actually," Embry continued, his voice wavering slightly as Leah cradled the phone between her fingers, scrolling quickly through her work email. Letting herself be distracted for just a moment until she could calm the simmering just below her skin and the crawling sensation that still rested in her hands. "Teaching me how to cook, I mean. I think she just got sick of having us over at her and Jake's all the time too, but I know she enjoyed it. Jake's like you when it comes to cooking...just keep him out of the kitchen. I was a little bit better of a student..."

Embry's laugh pulled Leah away from her phone, looking up to see set the towel down on the counter. She lowered the device, replacing it in one hand with her glass of wine and taking another sip.

"It's almost ten," he murmured, leaning against the counter, watching Leah as she placed the glass back on the island. "I should probably get going."

"Yeah," she agreed, although a part of her that _wasn't_ buried all that deep didn't want him to. It had been a good night – an easy night – despite the fears and anxiety Leah carried into it. Even though a part of her knew it would be, simply being _around_ Embry was easy. It was comforting. Warm.

He brought out something in her, just like he always had.

But Leah slid from her seat anyway, bare feet hitting the wooden floor, Embry's eyes still fixed on her even as he pushed himself off the counter.

"Don't forget your beer," she murmured automatically, pointing toward the fridge.

One corner of Embry's mouth pulled into a smile. "I'll leave it here, just in case," he said quietly, his gaze dropping as he walked away, heading toward the entryway. "Or you can drink it...whichever."

Leah's feet moved without waiting for permission, phone still clasped between her fingers as she followed him to the door, hanging back a couple feet even though she wasn't sure why. He opened it, peering back as her lips parted, unable to think of what she could say. A part of her didn't want to say goodbye – the word seemed too stiff, too final. A part of her wanted to move, remembering how his arms felt around her the night before. A part of her wanting to feel that again before he walked away. Another wanting to see what he was doing the next day...

"So, I'll talk to you soon then..."

The thoughts collided in her head, almost drowning out Embry's voice, causing her mouth to go dry and all words to disappear.

Remembering she had no fucking clue how to do what they were doing...whatever it was.

Until her fingers curled around her phone.

Until she remembered the email she had read just before Embry had started talking about Bella and Jake and cooking and being a good student...

She blinked, noticing Embry was still smiling at her, but turning to go.

"Hey, Em?"

The words tumbled from her lips before she could stop them.

But they stopped Embry, his frame twisting to face her, brows arched expectantly as he waited for her to continue.

Frowning, Leah placed a hand on her hip, eyes suddenly on the floor. "So, I was checking an email a minute ago, and I had one from my boss. I guess, uh...I guess him and a couple of the other partners are meeting for dinner tomorrow night and he just sent me a last minute invite. He told me not to miss it."

She was rambling by that point, not quite sure what she was doing even though she had a good idea where it was going to end up.

"But, um...do you..." She took a deep breath, finally tearing her eyes from the floor and meeting Embry's slightly amused gaze. It made her want to stop. It made her want to stuff the words back in her mouth, but she shook her head, forcing the rest of them out anyway.

"Do you want to go with me?"

Her heart was pounding by the time she closed her mouth, wishing wildly for a moment that she'd simply kept it that way.

"On a Saturday?" Embry asked quietly.

Leah nodded briskly. "I know, they do things like that sometimes... and I mean, the firm will pay for it." She was talking again, wishing in that moment Embry would just fucking say something and shut her up. "So worst-case scenario, we can use it as an excuse to celebrate the deal on the garage. My bosses are all assholes who love to throw the company's money around, so..."

"Leah..."

_Thank god._

She closed her mouth again with a snap, trying to ignore how Embry was silently chuckling, hopelessly trying to contain the grin on his face.

Leah wasn't sure why she held her breath when he leaned forward slightly, one eyebrow rising like she should have known the answer all along.

Like she should have known he'd be there when she took that step too.

"I'd love to go."

* * *

**AN: Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this little break from the mega-angst. ;)**

**Big wave to any "new" readers here. With the sad news of JBNP's closing, I know FFn isn't always a favorite place to read. Should you like a closer, more one-on-one reading experience though, I also have this story posted on Tricky Raven, a wolf-centric fanfiction site that also dabbles in original writing. It's a fantastic site. I'd encourage you all to check it out and find me and this story on there. THE LINK TO TR IS ON MY PROFILE PAGE.**

**Finally, big thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. On that note, the next one might be a little late next week. I have a work event that's going to take up my entire weekend this week and cut significantly into my writing time. I heart you all madly for the love and for your patience (in advance).**

**ANYWAY, thoughts on this chapter?**


	11. Opportunity

_****__****__****__****__****____**Disclaimer: **__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

___**AN:** You guys. I am so ridiculously sorry for the length of time between updates. I'd give you a million excuses about life kicking my ass, but instead, I'll just offer up that apology and thank you guys for your immense patience._

___On that note, just a head's up – this chapter has NOT seen a beta. Figure you guys would forgive me this once since it's been so long. :\_

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_**Suggested Listening: "One More Day" by Lydia, "The Ladder" by Andrew Belle, "Run" by Daughter, "Under My Arrest" by Fossil Collective, "Leases & Promises" by Spokane, "Come Clean" by Greg Laswell**_

"_So, you're not gonna like...make me call you _sir_ now, are you?"_

Grinning, Embry looked away from where his fingers fumbled with the button on his shirt cuff, his gaze landing on his phone sitting on the desk a few feet away. "Nah, dude. Plus, you said you didn't want to come work at the new shop, so I won't be your boss anyway."

Quil Ateara's hearty snort echoed through the phone's speaker, filling the silent hotel room.

"_Well, I still might...shit's been fucking nuts at the shop this week. Jake's right hand goes away for a week and the whole damn place goes to the dogs...literally."_

Finally managing to slip the button through the hole, Embry let his arms drop to his sides, heaving a deep breath alongside it. "I'm sure it hasn't been that bad..."

"_Trust me, man...it's been that bad. Bella stormed in here the other day on the warpath and you weren't there to intercept her like normal. Paul and me hid out in the last bay while she read Jake the riot act about not picking his clothes up off the floor that morning or some stupid shit like that. Fucking hormones... Then she started bawling and ran out of there like she was on fire and Jake went after her. Didn't see him for the rest of the day, then I had to deal with it when Old Man Littlesea didn't get his car back by five. That old coot scares the shit out of me, dude."_

Smoothing his white button-down shirt, Embry appraised himself on the mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door, releasing a detached chuckle. Both his reflection and Quil's voice fading somewhere into the background the longer he stood there staring. Remembering...

Embry's mind was a million other places besides the conversation he was having with Quil. Instead, it rested heavily on what was to come. How he looked. Where he would be going in less than an hour.

Who he would be going with.

_Leah..._

Fuck, the thought of it – of _her_ – made his stomach twist in knots. The way she smiled, the expression obscured only slightly by her wine glass, the candid words she spoke. The strength she'd shown already without even realizing it, and the feeling it caused inside him whenever he caught her looking at him with an appreciation and willingness he couldn't fathom. An ease in her gaze he couldn't comprehend.

It was so different, a complete turn from two days earlier when everything had seemed so hopeless. When a part of him, despite his determination, felt like there would be nothing he could ever do to get through to Leah. To make her see what he saw. To believe what he believed. To make her remember just long enough to stop.

He _thought_ it was hopeless.

But then he found her – sitting outside his hotel room with a resignation in her eyes he had longed to see. One he'd wished wildly for, put on display carefully next to a willingness to let go. If not completely, than at least enough to let him in there with her – to let him _stay_.

If he hadn't known before, he could feel it when he wrapped his arms around her and she didn't push back. She didn't pull away, and he could feel it when she leaned into him – in the way her heart calmed, in the way her body relaxed into his – letting him protect her in a way she never had before.

And he knew she had. _Somehow_, she believed him.

Still, the moment she walked out of his hotel room the morning before, he knew it was far from over. The step she had taken was only a small one and there were so many more to take.

There was so much more to face.

For _both_ of them.

Because she was there...all the time. In his head more than ever. Inside him. The simple memory of Leah – the whisper of her name perpetually resting on the tip of his tongue – ignited a fire inside him that only grew the more it resided there. The flames growing and burning faster when he thought of a memory she probably wanted to forget – of the realization he came to when his body was pressed against hers, resting between her legs as desperate lips and needful hands moved frantically across flesh.

Despite everything, that hadn't gone away for Embry and he knew that better than anyone.

It hadn't all been an act. Not for him.

He needed her too. Now that he had found her – now that she'd stopped running – he didn't want to make the same mistake twice. He never wanted to let her go.

And he wanted _her_ in a way she couldn't possibly be ready for. In a way he was pretty sure he always had. In a way he wasn't sure she wanted in the first place...or would ever want again.

So he had to keep reminding himself, pushing back the ache twisting his insides – the distant scratch of the wolf inside him, growing more prominent by the minute. He had to remember that even though things were different than they were days earlier – that even though the energy between him and Leah was more open and different than it was before – he needed to let her move at her own pace.

Even if she never reached the place he stood in.

Even if the time he had left with her was limited.

He hated to think about it – about the fact he would be going home in six days, having no idea what he would leave behind or take with him when he went.

Shaking his head, Embry remembered where he was. He pushed it back, reminding himself to focus on that day and on the dinner that was only an hour away.

The days were numbered, but he would do what he could to make it count, even if he didn't know how things would end up. If there would be any resolution or release for what was unfolding inside him. If he would leave Leah in a place better than the one he found her in.

It didn't matter because he was going to be there, like he promised. _Somehow_. Not just for her, but for him as well because in that moment, next to her was the only place he wanted to be. To take those steps with her while he could. To show her she made the right choice and to help her remember more. To be there for her the way none of them had when it was all she really needed.

To let her need _him_, if that's what she wanted.

No matter how long it was for, that was where he wanted to be – and in the meantime, he would take what he could get.

"_Dude, are you there?"_

Blinking, Embry tore his eyes away from the mirror, once again finding his phone where it rested on the desk. "Yeah, man, I'm here...sorry."

"_Did you hear what I said?"_

"No..." Embry murmured, unable to stop his eyes from going back to the mirror, appraising the dark wash jeans he'd paired with the shirt and hoping like hell it wouldn't be too casual for whatever restaurant they were going to.

"_Thanks for listening, man...always great to know I can come to you when I need a friend."_

"Dude," Embry quipped quickly, "shut the fuck up. Stop acting like a toddler and just tell me what you said."

"_Fuck off."_

A long, hesitant pause silenced the phone.

"_Well, it wasn't about me anyway."_

Embry scoffed. "Figured."

"_Anyway...I asked if you'd talked to Seth since you ran away to the big city?"_

"Yeah, he called me this week."

"_Did he tell you him and Grace set a date?"_

Breath catching in his lungs, Embry stared at the phone in disbelief as he grabbed the hanger holding his sport coat from the closet. "Seriously? Already? I just talked to him on Wednesday..."

"_Yeah, man...looks like we're gonna have a wedding in about a month or so. They weren't kidding when they said they didn't want to wait. I'm sure it'll be a shit show. Jake'll be all stressed out, Paul will try to get drunk and piss off Rachel the whole night, Bella'll be all eighteen months pregnant and moody..."_

Reminding himself to move, Embry slipped robotically into the coat, his mind instinctively drifting somewhere else – to _someone_ else. "A month..." he muttered. "Jesus, that's not a lot of time."

It definitely was _not_ enough time.

"_I know...but you know Grace. Between her, Sue, Emily, and Bella, I'm pretty sure they could have the whole fucking thing planned out in a couple days."_

Embry's stomach inexplicably wrenched the moment the words left Quil's mouth, feeling the absence of a name his friend didn't pick up on. At least not one he mentioned out loud.

"_Get this though, man...we were having dinner at Sam and Emily's last night and Grace decided to just casually announce that Seth should get in touch with Leah and ask her to be a bridesmaid..."_

Embry almost choked, his eyes widening as the rest of the air escaped rapidly from his lungs. "Are you serious?"

"_As a fucking heart attack. It was pretty god damn awkward, if we're being honest. Like, you could cut the tension with a knife, man. Sam's face went all pale and shit and I'm pretty sure you could have heard a pin drop in the kitchen if you listened hard enough. But get this...no one said a word until Emily spoke up and told Grace that would be a great idea."_

Swallowing thickly, Embry didn't even bother to pick up the phone as he sank to the edge of the bed, elbows finding his knees. Clasping his hands together, he pressed them to his mouth, shaking his head without really knowing why. Remembering another time – standing in Sam's kitchen – when Emily had spoken similar words. When she had went to bat for her cousin, despite everything that happened.

Over time, he had grown to respect Emily. To love her even, like he would a sister. She was kind and generous and she took care of others, especially the pack, even though it had taken a majority of them longer than was probably acceptable to warm up to her. To welcome her into a spot that had once been filled by someone else. Time, resignation, and patience had helped, but it was more than that.

As much as Embry had wanted to hate her at one point, he couldn't, because despite everything that happened and despite how Sam consistently bristled at the sound of Leah's name, Emily was one of the first to speak it in front of him. Emily was one of the first to speak of her cousin like she wasn't dead. Like she wasn't a ghost. Like she could still come home. She was one of the first to bring forward fond, happy memories, somehow managing to keep that hope alive in all of them.

They were noble words – admirable words – but they were exactly that. Words.

They still hadn't been enough.

"Has Seth even called Leah?" Embry said quietly, knowing Quil would hear him. Knowing the answer to his question despite asking it anyway. A huge part of him wanted to tell his friend but still remembered the promise he'd made to Leah a week earlier. Another part didn't want anyone else involved in what was going on, at least not yet. Not when Leah was still figuring out which way was up.

"_I don't think so...I caught the tail end of convo I probably wasn't supposed to hear when I lit out of there last night. Grace was asking Seth the same thing out on the back porch... Okay, so I was eavesdropping, but still...he made it sound like he planned to call her and she was yelling at him for not doing it yet and how it seemed weird that they've been together for a year and she's never even spoke to Leah. And how she's beginning to think she doesn't actually exist and blah, blah, blah. I try not to get in the middle of those things."_

Embry shook his head, managing to crack an ironic smile despite the fucking lead weight sitting right on his stomach. Quil was usually at the epicenter of all the biggest happenings in the pack, one nosy ear pressed to the ground, and Embry also didn't need Quil's words to reaffirm what a horrible liar he was.

Quil's voice interrupted Embry's thoughts, cutting into the silence once again.

"_Even so, man, do you really think Leah would come even if Seth did call her? It's been six years and she hasn't come home once. She doesn't even call. Fuck, we still don't even know where she is."_

Chewing on the inside of his lower lip, Embry ignored the obvious statements Quil made – the ones Embry wasn't supposed to have an answer to. Instead, he repeated the question in his head, knowing a week ago the answer would have been a clear and steady 'no'.

Yet in that moment, he couldn't help it as his hopes got the better of him. That maybe, if given just a little more time, the answer would be different.

"Who knows..." was all Embry could choke out.

Quil heaved a huge sigh on the other end of the line, causing Embry's head to snap toward the phone.

"_Well, I did talk to Seth this morning. He's gonna call you or text you later, I think, so..."_

Taking a deep breath, Embry stood, begrudgingly making his way toward the phone. "Thanks, man."

"_No problem. See you on Friday?"_

"See you then. Later, man." Embry murmured, picking up the phone from the desk, hitting the end button and trying to ignore the way Quil's words sat heavily inside him. How despite everything – despite how much he wanted it to be the one time Seth actually called his sister, that he would be the one to put pride and anger aside – a part of Embry couldn't get that one word out of his head.

_Time._

Reminding him again there wasn't much of it. That even though a part of him wanted to tell Leah about the wedding himself, another didn't want to be the person to do it. A part of him holding out even more hope, knowing that hearing the words from Seth's mouth could make all the difference needed when the days were so numbered.

That it would make a bigger difference _period_.

That it would help remind Leah that as much as it was about finding the person she used to be, it was also about remembering the family still missing her at home – even if they couldn't seem to figure out the right way to tell her.

Embry sighed, doing his best to push it from his mind.

Promising himself he'd think about it later.

* * *

Leah stood outside the steakhouse on Michigan Avenue, unable to control the dominant urge to pace back and forth on the sidewalk. The night air was warm on her skin, but she could still feel the goose bumps crawling the length of her arms – the simmering just beneath her skin, a feeling she was all too familiar with. One that crept in every single time she felt like she was losing her hold on a situation.

A frustrated noise escaping her throat, Leah ignored the curious looks of those passing by her.

Letting out a breath, she swore silently to herself, hating how her body was responding to all of it. How she could feel her insides twisting – _sinking_ – as she pulled out her phone and checked the time for probably the fifth time in less than two minutes.

Embry was late.

Granted, he wasn't _that_ late, and normally, she wouldn't care. Leah was used to clients showing up whenever they felt like it, and it never fazed her when they did. She adjusted her schedule accordingly, went about her day, and learned to show up when they did.

This was different though. Embry wasn't a client. Embry wasn't _business_.

She couldn't fight the rock sitting in her gut – a nagging, inherent feeling she knew all too well, but had never experienced like she was in that moment. A dread accompanying the thought that because he was late, that had to mean he wasn't coming at all.

Leah closed her eyes, crossing her arms tightly in front of her chest and swallowing the heaviness in her throat.

Unable to wonder if maybe he had decided it wasn't worth the trouble after all.

That _she_ wasn't worth the trouble.

A long string of expletives wound against her tongue when she turned her back to the street, silently calling Embry – not to mention herself – every name in the book as she took a step away from the curb, missing the yellow taxi that pulled up to it the moment she did.

Fingers wrapping tightly against her phone, she had half a notion to call him and unleash those words she held just inside her mouth, but her self-deprecating thoughts were interrupted by the slam of a car door.

Instinctively turning around at the too-close noise, all the words evaporated on Leah's tongue. Lips parting in silent bewilderment, all the unease disappeared the moment her eyes fell on his familiar face.

Taking a bit of that insecurity with it.

"Sorry I'm late," Embry breathed hurriedly, offering Leah a warm and apologetic smile. "Quil called right before I was gonna leave, and well, you know..."

Taking another calming breath, Leah didn't have time to think about or question how much better she felt simply because he was _there_. She let the corners of her mouth curl into her own knowing smile. "Still in love with the sound of his own voice?" she asked quietly.

Laughing, Embry crossed the last bit of distance between them, his sparkling gaze holding hers. "He only gets worse as we get older, I swear." He let his eyes drop, and she didn't miss it as he let them sweep over her frame, silently appraising the sleeveless red dress she wore. Allowing his eyes to travel over her bare legs before rising, lingering for a minute on the draped neckline of the garment before finding her eyes once again. "You look amazing."

Raising her eyebrows, Leah pursed her lips in mock indignation. "For a minute there, I thought it was gonna be all for me," she quipped.

Embry grinned, hitching his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans as he took a step back. "You haven't gotten rid of me yet..." he murmured smugly, the hint of arrogance in his tone unable to hide the kindness resting just behind it.

Leah smiled anyway, but inside, a part couldn't help but chastise herself for the thoughts leading up to Embry's arrival. For thinking he would walk away then, even considering everything that happened leading up to it. For not giving him more credit, even if a part of her still wasn't wired in a way that would allow her to trust him completely. Even if a part of her still felt she couldn't count on his promises.

But he was there – in front of her. _Still_.

_That_ counted for something.

"So...you ready to do this?" Leah questioned quietly, her gaze flicking toward the restaurant's entrance.

Without a word, Embry smiled and took another step, his eyes steady as hers were pulled downward. Noticing how he reached out to her, fingers spread and his palm waiting patiently. For her.

She wasn't sure how it happened but it did, her arm lifting without waiting for permission. Taking his hand, her fingers wrapped tightly around his.

Leah didn't miss the way he squeezed her hand as they walked into the restaurant. How he didn't speak a word. As he didn't overthink it or worry about what she would say. How he let it mean whatever she wanted it to.

So she let it settle between them as a silent guarantee, reassuring her he was still there. That he was next to her and didn't plan on leaving anytime soon.

In that moment, with the contact, she felt it again. The sense of security. A feeling of belonging. A warmth that didn't consume, instead winding deliriously slow through her veins, causing a small smile to form on her lips as Embry led her into the restaurant.

She held on tighter.

Once they passed through the restaurant's front foyer, a hostess with a brilliant smile pointed them to the correct table. Leah fell into step beside Embry, her hand still clasped against his.

"Okay, so they're here already," she said quietly, peering up at Embry the same moment he glanced down at her. "We're having dinner with two people...Wes Jones is one. He's the senior vice president of the firm, and the other is John Anderson. He's the vice president."

Embry made a noise in his throat, eyes straight ahead, but she could still see the corners of his mouth rise. "You weren't kidding when you said 'bosses', were you?"

"No," Leah confirmed swiftly. "They're gonna talk about business, more than likely, and probably ask a lot of questions about you. They'll sit there, drink their scotch, and congratulate themselves on being masters of the universe. And they'll probably talk baseball...always the Cubs. They love the fucking Cubs, so just..."

"Don't mention the Mariners?" Embry silenced her with another squeeze of his hand. Closing her mouth, she looked up at him again to see nothing but the same steady, subdued confidence in his eyes that always seemed to linger there. He chuckled when he noticed her watching him. "Leah...I've got this."

Smiling, Leah finally allowed herself to look forward, pulling in a deep breath. She shook her head in some kind of disbelief. "I know...sorry."

As they approached the table, Leah's gaze fixed on the two men she'd just told Embry about, both dressed in the same suits and ties she was used to seeing them in, despite it being a Saturday. Wes was a well-built man in his late forties. His features were strong and prominent, his presence both charismatic and demanding respect. John was his polar opposite. Tall and thin with wiry glasses held up by a long nose. Both men were involved in their own conversation, oblivious to the pair approaching the table.

Leah's heart pounded for some inexplicable reason. Swallowing once, she took a deep breath, remembering it was a part of her life she could still handle. Her job was still something she could do – something she was good at and something, even now, she could make no apologies for.

A larger part of her didn't want to, but she released Embry's hand the same time Wes' gaze turned, finding her with a confident and knowing smile.

"Miss Clearwater, happy you could make it," he said easily, his voice smooth and strong.

"Wes. John," Leah greeted them with a firm smile, nodding to each man in return, fingers gripping her clutch instead of Embry's hand.

"Leah, thanks for coming out tonight," John greeted, placing his glass on the table before standing. "We don't mean to interrupt your weekend, but we had a business matter to discuss with you that we thought warranted a Saturday dinner."

Keeping the smile on her face, Leah tried to think back to the week prior, searching for any indication her bosses had given her that would have pointed toward a "business matter" that required a weekend meeting. Her mind drifted to phone calls, emails, morning meetings, but still, her mind came up short.

_Unless..._

Leah's steady expression faltered for a split second, her thoughts accidentally landing on two nights earlier. To the bar she waited at. To the man who appeared by her side, reeking of designer cologne and expensive brandy...

_Tony_.

For a moment, the realization stole the breath from her lungs, a part of her remembering her own thoughts that night. Remembering how she _had_ thought about the consequences, if the right person had seen. If the right person had decided to say something. What it could mean for her and her career...

A violent shiver tore up Leah's spine the same moment she choked back the sickening knot rising in her throat. A sinking feeling of dread that could only be likened to the realization that maybe her past choices were finally catching up to the one part of her life she had managed to keep in tact through it all.

Blinking, allowing her to focus on the scene in front of her, she forced herself to smile anyway – to not jump to conclusions. To not expect the worst.

In the same moment, she felt Embry's hand press against the small of her back. Whether he meant to do it or not, it didn't matter. It was a silent push – the tiniest of comforts – helping her to pull in that last breath needed to find her voice.

"It's not a problem at all," she replied, her voice surprisingly sure of itself. She could still feel that blazing heat soaking through her dress. "Wes, John, this is my friend, Embry." Taking a step back, Leah watched Wes rise to his feet alongside John, waiting his turn as Embry stepped forward with a smile and a nod, firmly shaking the hands of both men. "I hope you don't mind that I brought a guest," Leah continued.

"Not at all," John affirmed, motioning to the two free chairs at the square table. "Please...have a seat."

Leah approached the empty chair closest to her, a part of her surprised when Embry followed, pulling it out for her as she slid lithely into it. As he pushed it in, Leah peered over her shoulder, met by his small smile and teasing eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered, so quietly she was certain Embry was the only person who heard the words.

As Embry moved next to her, lowering into his own chair, Leah situated herself, drawing in one final breath to calm the lingering apprehension she could feel in the pit of her stomach. When the waiter showed up, she watched Embry for an unnecessary amount of time when he ordered himself a beer and her a glass of red wine. She studied him silently, noticing how the confidence in his eyes had spread to the rest of him, his expression steady and posture comfortable, like it was a kind of life he was entirely used to living.

She still couldn't wrap her head around it – how he kept trying to tell her he hadn't changed, yet with every confident movement and steadfast expression, both meant for her and not, she continued to discover just how wrong he'd been. How much credit he refused to give himself.

Leah smiled, her eyes still lingering on Embry when Wes spoke, the words bringing her out of the haze she had inexplicably found herself in.

"So, Embry, are you from Chicago?"

Leah finally blinked when Embry shook his head. "No, sir."

"Where are you from?"

"Washington state."

"Which part?" Wes pressed, a curious smile occupying his mouth as he leaned back, one elbow propped lazily on his chair.

"La Push. It's a small reservation on the Olympic peninsula."

"That's terrific," Wes continued, reaching forward and retrieving his glass of scotch from the table. "So how do you and Leah known each other?"

Embry let his gaze drift toward Leah in that moment, a flash of remembrance racing through his eyes. To a similar question asked by Autumn a few days earlier, a part of him likely remembering how Leah had responded to it, another silently asking for permission.

Taking a deep breath, Leah smiled at him. Her own wordless reply.

"We grew up together," he continued, turning his gaze back to Leah's bosses, quietly thanking the waiter as his beer was placed in front of him. Leah did the same, reaching out automatically, her fingers curling around the wine glass – keeping them occupied – before bringing it to her lips.

Wes nodded. "Very interesting," he said. "What brings you to Chicago then?"

"Business," Embry replied swiftly before taking a pull off his beer bottle. "A couple friends and I own an auto repair business on the reservation, and I'm in town going through all the necessary steps to secure financing for a second location."

"Congratulations," John chimed in, lifting his glass slightly before taking a drink.

"Thank you, sir," Embry smiled, looking at Leah warmly. She could feel the tense knot unraveling in her stomach little by little, watching the exchange between a man she had known all her life and two who had helped launch her career. "It's very exciting."

"Indeed," Wes agreed. "Well, that's very nice that you and Leah were able to meet up while you were in town. And congratulations on the business venture. There's nothing quite as rewarding and fulfilling in life as new opportunities."

"Very true," Embry murmured genuinely, his unfaltering gaze remaining on the two men across the table.

"How many others are in business with you, if you don't mind me asking?" Wes questioned curiously, swirling the amber liquid around in his glass.

Embry leaned forward, forearms pressing into the table. "Well, the owner is a good friend of mine. He initially started in his garage at home before he decided to expand it and turn it into a legitimate business. There's one other partner besides me, and I'll be moving to the second shop to manage, which means my stake in the business will increase." Leah watched as Embry's smile widened, the same excitement spreading across his features, consuming them like it did each time he talked about the business.

"We're finally in a spot where we have the revenue to expand, so we're taking advantage of it," he continued. "Eventually, we want to start giving some of it back to our tribe. Someday, we'd really like to set up some kind special fund that can go toward things like scholarships, community betterment projects. Our hope is people...other businesses and organizations...will see that and start to contribute themselves, and it will just continue to grow from there."

John and Wes were nodding in agreement, both bearing pleased and impressed expressions.

But Leah wasn't watching them. Instead, her gaze was back on Embry, a smile lingering on her lips as he talked about another facet of the business he hadn't told her yet. Still, a part of her wasn't surprised, remembering the boys she grew up with. Remembering their fierce sense of pride in their tribe and their people, and how despite what life handed them, they always wanted to succeed. To do more.

And they had.

Leah blinked, freeing herself. Unable to discredit the overwhelming flash of sadness – a subtle regret – that wrapped itself around her insides. Still, she didn't look away when Embry caught her watching him.

She took a deep breath. "Sounds like all you need is the right marketing firm to make it happen," she murmured coyly, relishing in the way Embry's grin caused that warmth to once again bloom deep inside her, banishing everything else.

John and Wes both released hearty chuckles at Leah's response. "And that, Embry, is why she's one of the top performing account executives at our firm."

Embry only smiled, taking another drink of beer. "I can see why," he replied, casting a sideways glance at Leah. "She's always been like that. Stubborn, tenacious...which can be both good and bad, depending on which end of it you're on."

The men laughed again, and her gaze fell to her lap, masking the subtle redness she could feel flaming on her cheeks. A part of her weirdly mortified by the simple yet foreign reaction to Embry's words.

Still, she remembered to breathe, looking up and doing her best to make sure her face bore a mix of amusement and certainty.

"Her mom was holding a bake sale on the reservation once, and no one was signing up to participate," Embry pressed on. Leah glanced at him, somewhat awestruck by the captivated looks on the faces of her supervisors as Embry enthusiastically went into a story she had forgotten about over the years, but could suddenly feel coming back to her, resonating in some corner of her mind. The memory of it clear as day.

"Leah made it her mission to go door-to-door, somehow convincing people why they needed to participate. Telling them if they simply agreed to give a little, it would help out everyone in return..."

"How do you remember all this?" Leah interrupted, a chuckle escaping from her lips before she could think twice about it. "I was fifteen years old when I did that..."

Embry was silent for a moment, peering back at her with a soft glint in his eyes. "You came to my house. You talked to my mom about it, and I was there," he replied knowingly. "People noticed you then too, Leah...how once you got your mind set on doing something, there was no stopping you..."

Leah shook her head, still wondering how he could remember the smallest things she'd cast aside. "Well, that's how you get things done. How you make things better," she responded, leaning back in her chair and cocking one expectant eyebrow in Embry's direction. His smile refused to falter. "You can't expect results by sitting back and hoping they come to you."

Nodding amiably, Embry finally looked away, reaching out for his beer. Talking more to Wes and John than Leah in that moment. "You're right, but sometimes the best opportunities in life happen when you don't go looking." He took a drink of beer. "Sometimes they just find you."

Leah ignored the murmurs of agreement from her supervisors. Any words on her tongue dissolved as she stared at Embry, as he finally looked back to her. As he held her eyes for a few infinite moments.

She swallowed. "Like the second garage, right?"

Embry's shoulders rose and fell with a heavy breath, but he didn't release her eyes. "Sure, Leah...like the garage."

"Well, Embry," a throat clearing interrupted them, and Embry turned away long before Leah was ready for him to. She barely heard Wes chuckle in the background, his voice somehow the only thing managing to pull her away from the iron grip those ebony eyes held on every cell inside her. "If what you say about Leah is true, I can assure you not much has changed,"

"I'd imagine you're probably right." Embry relaxed into his chair. "Leah's brother will actually be joining us soon," he revealed, keeping his gaze on the others. "He's expressed a lot of interest in doing his part, and we're excited to bring him on board too."

Leah's eyes closed inherently, Embry's words from before forgotten for a split second. It was still there – that longing, the regret that came from hearing about her brother from a secondary source. That wild hope inside her that she would one day hear it from him, but the reality of it crippled by her own fear. Blocked by an obstacle she wasn't really ready to overcome...

_You can't expect results by sitting back and hoping they come to you..._

Leah pushed aside her own words, doing the best she could in that moment to keep all those feelings at bay.

Nodding, Wes took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair. Leah placed her wine glass on the table, looking up, realizing he was now watching her. "You must be very proud of him."

To her right, she could feel those fucking eyes on her again, but she ignored them, offering Wes the easiest smile she could muster. "I am."

"And he must be proud of you," Wes continued.

The empty feeling – the sensation of balancing precariously on the edge of a black hole she was all too familiar with – was a little harder to ignore.

Causing her to wish like hell that what she was going to say – somewhere, deep down – was the truth.

"I hope so," she murmured.

In the split second that followed, she looked up just in time to catch Embry staring at her. To see that reassurance in his eyes, another promise somewhere inside him and the smile on his mouth somehow easing the turmoil inside her. Somehow pulling her back just enough to lose sight of the blackness below. Just enough to let her know that maybe, just maybe, her words held more truth than she thought.

"I know we are definitely proud of you, Leah," Wes continued, pulling Leah's gaze away from Embry, causing her to take a deep breath and collect her bearings. "The things you've accomplished in your short time with our firm have been unprecedented for someone with your experience."

Forgetting about everything else for a moment, Leah managed to smile. "Thank you, Wes."

"It's true," John interrupted. "You've retained more clients this past year than any other account executive in your division, not to mention brought in more. Word of mouth is important, and the things you've done for Tony McIntire and his career have not gone unnoticed."

Leah's chest tightened, but she could feel her earlier apprehensions dissolving as she studied the reactions of the two men, as she ignored the appetizers being placed on the table and watched the expressions on their faces. Whatever reason they had for bringing her there, she could sense it was not for the one she had allowed herself to think.

"Which is why we asked you here tonight," Wes spoke again, continuing John's words. Leah couldn't explain why she held her breath as she watched a small, coy smile pull at the corner of his mouth. "We have a position opening at the end of next month...account supervisor."

Leah couldn't help the sharp intake of breath she drew between parted lips, sensing a similar reaction from the man to her right. She didn't dare look at Embry in that moment, focusing instead on Wes' crystal blue eyes watching her with expectance. Like she should have known what he was going to say. Like she should have expected it all along.

"And considering your performance and the things you've done for our company, Leah, we'd like to offer you the position. If you're interested, of course."

Leah stopped breathing altogether, the sound of the words falling from his lips still able to knock the breath from her lungs.

It was everything she wanted – everything she had worked toward. She could feel the adrenaline, an intense surge of excitement push through her veins as she chewed on the words for a few moments, digesting them. Letting them sink in. Knowing that six years of college and studying and then working her ass off had finally paid off.

That one more piece of the life she had wanted was falling into place.

_The life she wanted..._

She couldn't explain it, but the words she wanted to say – the ones that would solidify the interest they were hoping for – were stuck on her tongue, caught somewhere behind her surprised smile.

Wes raised his eyebrows, seizing an opportunity in her hesitance to say more. "It's a great move, Leah. You'd be managing a team of account executives. You'd get to direct them, the vision of the department, all of it. It's a huge step, but one we think you're more than ready for, not to mention more than capable of handling. It comes with a significant pay increase as well." His eyebrows lowered. "If you're interested, of course," he repeated.

Lips still parted in shock, Leah shook her head, remembering she had to speak and shaking her silence off with it. "No, that's...that's fantastic. Thank you. I'm speechless, actually," she finally pushed out, a nervous laugh tumbling out behind her words.

"We thought you'd be pleased," John said quietly, offering her a warm smile.

"I am," Leah reaffirmed, swallowing back the inexplicable thickness in her throat, "I'm more than pleased, it's just surprising. I never expected an offer like this so soon."

"We reward hard work," Wes replied with a wink, "but it's like Embry said...sometimes opportunities present themselves when you least expect it."

_Embry..._

Blinking, Leah's gaze snapped quickly toward the man on her right, her eyes immediately finding his. Embry's elbows leaned against the table, both hands clasped together, cheek resting against the closed fist they created. Watching her. For a split second, she listened to the sound of his heart. Thick, hard, steady beats. Anxious.

But each one was overshadowed by the softness of his face. The look of pride he wore on his features.

The pride he wore for _her_.

Something she wasn't used to...

She looked back to Wes, everything inside her urging her to respond. The single word of acceptance sitting on the tip of her tongue.

"I don't know what to say," were the words she finally heard herself speak.

Wes nodded in understanding. "It's a big responsibility, and we completely understand if you want to take some time to think about it. We don't need an answer tonight."

"I appreciate that," Leah murmured, one hand curling around the napkin resting beside the appetizer plate that had appeared in front of her, a large part of her not understanding her hesitance.

John cleared his throat, once again demanding Leah's attention, refusing to give her more time to think on it. "Regardless, I think this night deserves a toast." His hand reached out, finding his glass as he lifted it with a smile. "To Embry's new business. And, Leah, to your future with our company."

Leah smiled in return, her eyes glancing to her right. Finding a pair of ebony ones already watching her. "To opportunities."

His smile – one mirroring the same pride she found in those eyes – caused a delirious warmth to creep through her veins. Filling her completely.

As he repeated her words, making it impossible to look away in that moment. Again.

"To opportunities."

* * *

"What a night..."

Tearing her gaze away from the city rushing by outside the taxi window, Leah looked at Embry, who was sitting to her left across the short distance separating them in the cab's back seat.

"You're telling me," she murmured, holding her clutch tighter against her lap as the taxi sped toward Embry's hotel.

The rest of dinner had gone well. The talk of her promotion had stopped at the toast, and the night continued without a hitch. Wes and John asked more questions about the garage back in La Push, their interest in Embry and his background more than apparent. The night had concluded with the trio of men sharing stats of both the Cubs and the Mariners, arguing goodnaturedly over the value of baseball pitchers over dessert.

Leah once again found time moving faster than she anticipated, both dinner and her company for the evening coming to an end.

She and Embry had agreed to split the cost of a cab and since they already were closer to the Park Hyatt, Embry was being dropped off first.

"I still think I'm shock," she replied. "This was what I was working toward, but I never in a million years thought it would be this soon."

"I don't blame you," Embry said quietly. Leah glanced up from her lap, meeting his reserved gaze. "But you're smart, and I'd be lying if I said it surprised me. You deserve this."

"Thanks," Leah muttered, a part of her wanting to change the subject. To not talk about the promotion, even if she couldn't begin to explain why. "I think they should hire you though. Talk about winning over a crowd."

Embry's gaze dropped, shaking his head and turning his cell phone between his fingers. "Nah. Those guys probably just aren't used to how us small town, rez folk do it."

Laughing, Leah leaned back against the headrest. "You know, I think I forgot what it's like to carry on a conversation and not have the person pull out a cell phone or make a call in the middle of it. They probably have, too."

Embry hesitated. "So...then it wasn't my sharp wit and unrivaled humor?"

Grinning, Leah let her head rock to the left, just in time to catch him offer her a wink. "You've done pretty well for yourself, Embry, all things considering. I think they saw that tonight. I know I did...again..." Taking a deep breath, she could feel it welling deep inside her. Something that closely resembled the look she had seen in his eyes earlier that night. "I know I haven't told you yet, but I'm proud of you. I mean it, all of you...Seth, Jake, Quil, even Paul."

She held her breath as Embry's smile lessened slightly, the playfulness in his eyes replaced by a layered intensity she couldn't describe.

Regardless – somehow – it managed to take away what little air she held in her lungs.

Blinking rapidly, Embry dropped his gaze, setting his phone on the seat between them. Rocking forward, he quietly asked the driver to stop at the nearest gas station. Peeking at her from where he was, Embry raised one eyebrow incredulously. "I'm gonna stop up here and get something to drink before we get to the hotel. Do you mind?"

Shaking her head, Leah offered him a small smile. "Of course not."

Seconds later, the taxi driver hung a sharp left, pulling into the gas station parking lot. Once the vehicle was stopped, he grinned at her before opening the door. "Be back in a few."

Leah took a deep breath as the door slammed behind him, the silence in the small cab enveloping her. She fiddled aimlessly with the hem of her dress, a part of her almost disappointed that he hadn't asked her to join him. She would have been lying if she said that same part of her hadn't wanted the night to last a little longer. That a part of her didn't want it to be over quite yet.

Even if he had asked her, she didn't know what to expect. She didn't know what she'd be expected to do, what they would talk about, how they would pass the time. All of it still seemed new. Foreign, even if that night had been one more step and she couldn't help but think maybe an invitation like that would be one more, too.

Still, steps and words and what to do didn't matter because she did know one thing in a sea of other unknowns.

She was enjoying Embry's company. The dinner they had the night before, the one they had that night. She had enjoyed it all, despite some words that were said. Despite topics that were broached. Despite new opportunities commanding her attention.

With him around, things seemed easier. Things seemed lighter.

Once again reassuring her that maybe – truly – she was no longer doing this on her own.

Leah was smiling when a sharp, punctuated noise pierced through the quiet vehicle. Brow creasing in confusion, the source of the noise pulled Leah's gaze downward. Toward the seat just next to her hip.

Her eyes landed on Embry's forgotten cell phone, sweeping quickly over its illuminated surface, ears registering it as the source of the single noise.

Every part of her ceased to move, breath catching in her lungs, when she saw the name at the head of the text message displayed on the screen.

_Seth..._

She should have known better. She should have stopped the moment she reached out, fingers trembling inexplicably as they drew closer to the device. As better sense disappeared the moment her hand curled around the phone, lifting it from its resting place and bringing it closer to her.

Somewhere inside her was a distant voice screaming at her to stop, but she couldn't. It didn't matter that it was none of her business. It didn't matter that it was Embry's phone. She couldn't find it in herself to care, a larger part of her just wanting to know..._anything_ about her brother. How he was. What he was doing.

Thinking maybe the words on the screen would make everything just a tiny bit easier.

Thinking maybe this was an opportunity she shouldn't miss.

Leah held her breath, clutching the phone tightly as she let her eyes sweep over a message that wasn't meant for her.

As she felt her stomach sink to some place deep inside her body...

_Hey, man. Just letting you know Grace and me set a wedding date. You're gonna be in it so keep the last weekend of the month free..._

* * *

**AN: ****Huge wolfy hugs for everyone who's reviewed over the last few weeks. Will be making rounds this week to circle back to all of you individually to say thanks. :)**

**ANYWAY...thoughts on this chapter? Predictions? Can't wait to hear them!**


	12. Focus

_****__****__****__****__****__****____**Disclaimer: **__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "Come By Fire" by Sara Jackson-Holman, "Please Don't Find Me" by Civil Twilight, "Another Life to Lose" by Greg Laswell, "Shallows" by Daughter, "And The World Was Gone" by Snow Ghosts, "Love Like This (Acoustic)" by Kodaline**_

She wanted it back.

The feeling of ease – the strange sense of hope, of _happiness_ she'd felt only minutes earlier.

_She wanted it back._

Because what Leah was feeling in that moment was nothing like that. Her chest tight and fingers wrapped unforgivingly around Embry's phone, the words on the screen were burned in the back of her mind. Reminding her there was nothing easy about it – her life, the person she was trying to find. There was nothing _happy_ about it.

It felt too familiar.

It felt like _before_.

Leah had to stop herself from putting any more pressure on the phone, the restraint physically painful as her hand threatened to break it into a million pieces.

She let it go instead, each finger unwrapping slowly before the phone fell to the seat, forgotten. It didn't matter though because the edge of that black hole she was dancing on earlier was now somewhere above her and she could feel herself crawling – grasping – at the sides. Trying like hell not to let it swallow her whole, but still able to feel gravity winning out. To feel everything crashing back down on her.

Sucking her in.

Because the text message wasn't sent to her.

There was no missed call on her phone, no voicemail bearing her brother's voice. Not that she could blame him – she'd burned that bridge long ago through her own inaction, her own inability to pick up a phone and tie together the frayed ends of the relationship she and her brother once had.

But the smoke from the damage that always rose somewhere in the distance was now an excruciating fire swallowing her whole.

And no one had thought to tell her. No one had _warned_ her. No one had thought to share such a huge happening in her brother's life.

Not Seth.

_Not even..._

Leah's heart pounded, one hand curling into a fist as she brought her to mouth. She let her gaze travel slowly toward the door of the gas station as it swung open and Embry strode out, unaware of anything that was wrong, pushing one hand into his pocket while the other grasped a six-pack of beer.

Leah's fingers shook as she stretched them, thinking better of it as they curled back into a fist. The frustration directed at him – the anger – burned her insides, despite the deep breaths she pulled between parted lips. She felt each blazing exhale fan across her knuckles the moment the door to her left opened and Embry's lithe frame slipped into the backseat.

"Sorry. Figured I'd get something to drink for when I got back to the hotel..."

Leah closed her eyes, his voice somewhere in the distance despite the mere inches separating them. Her head turned toward the window without waiting for permission the moment his gaze traveled to the seat between them. She held her breath when she heard his hand drop, picking up the discarded cell phone.

He didn't speak a word. He didn't say a thing as the taxi pulled out of the parking lot and back onto the street, and Leah couldn't ignore the sickening feeling rising in her throat, her own silence choking her.

All of it reassuring her why she had always ran. Why she always refused to stop and look around at her life.

She always knew that when she did, something would happen. _Something_ would come along to remind her that maybe she'd done the right thing by continuing to run. By not stopping to look around.

Leah just never thought something as simple as a text message – a message to a person she had let in, _somehow_, even though he wasn't supposed to be in her life in the first place – would be the thing to do it.

But it _was_ enough.

Reaffirming what she already knew by unforgivingly slapping her across the face with just how much she had missed. By putting words to it. Definitive proof she couldn't ignore.

Showing her just how badly she fucked up by letting so much time pass.

Unfailingly reminding her just how much her family had moved forward without her.

An affirmation that everyone's lives were just fine without her...

Embry was saying something else, but by that point, Leah wasn't really listening. Still, she somehow allowed her head to turn. For her dark, conflicted eyes to find his across the narrow seat. For her stomach to clench at the site of his smile.

It was in that moment she realized just how much she'd trusted him. Not fully, but enough for it to matter. She realized just how much she had _counted_ on Embry, despite the miniscule amount of time that had passed.

And he'd already let her down.

He hadn't told her, even though he _had_ to have known.

And it didn't matter that the divide between her and her family was mostly her fault. She felt blindsided, and couldn't push back the nagging feeling that he should have _told her_.

As the taxi sped toward the hotel, she turned away, still unable to speak. She had half a notion to jump from it at the next stoplight and leave Embry behind, but she ruled that out quickly, remembering his words. His promise to her that he wasn't going anywhere. His refusal to walk away.

Leah knew it would do no good because he knew too much – where to look, where to find her. How to scale those walls she could already feel cementing back in place.

Running from him was no longer an option, even if a part of her – one still buried deep down – tossed the idea before she filtered through all the reasons why in her head.

She'd have to do things the way she used to.

She'd have to confront him, even if she had no idea why or what purpose it would serve. What she wanted to accomplish or gain by doing it. Leah just knew she needed to say something, because the clawing, debilitating ache in her gut was only getting worse. The regret – the anger – only grew heavier as the hotel grew closer. As each building came and went through the taxi window.

Her hand was wrapped around the door handle by the time the cab pulled to a stop outside the hotel's main entrance. Pulling in a deep breath and holding it, Leah's grip tightened as she turned her head slightly to look at Embry, only to find him already watching her, an expectant yet hesitant expression plaguing his features.

Either he knew something was wrong, or was preparing to ask her a question he didn't know the answer to.

Breath leaving her in a rush, she shook her head, not waiting for him to speak as she pulled the handle. The door opened easily, allowing her to exit the car before he had a chance to say the words resting on his lips. Squaring her shoulders and reminding herself to be steady, Leah didn't look back. She didn't wait for confirmation or to see if Embry would protest. Instead, she gripped her clutch tighter in her hands and listened to the clicking of her heels on the pavement as she purposefully made her way toward the door, the noise keeping time with her thrumming heart.

A door slammed behind her and it wasn't long before Leah heard the soft footfalls on the pavement behind her. It wasn't long before that heat was once again reaching out for her, just in time for her to push the glass doors open and the smell of expensive leather and harsh cleaners to filter into her nostrils.

But it wasn't until she reached the elevators that Embry was finally able to catch up. Her fingers digging into the material of her clutch, he cleared his throat from beside her.

"So, uh...I take it you want to come up?"

Leah swallowed, but refused to move her eyes from the descending numbers on the wall, indicating which floor the elevator had reached. She forced herself to nod. "I figured we still had a lot to talk about..."

She couldn't ignore the slight, irritated tone laced through her words, or the swift rush of air that left Embry's body when she spoke them.

"Okay..."

He didn't speak another word, even after the elevator arrived. Leah didn't follow him to the back of it, instead turning and roughly pushing the button that would take them to Embry's floor. Crossing her arms tightly in front of her, she closed her eyes, listening to the thick silence enveloping them. Unable to hear anything except the soft hum of the elevator and the strained, erratic rhythm of her own pulse throbbing in her ears.

Until she heard Embry's. A rhythm that matched her own.

He was anxious, and it did little to soothe the war already unfolding inside Leah. Instead, it only exacerbated it, reminding her once again how much she hated feeling that way.

It was enough to take a step back, her eyes closing inherently as she fought to draw the breath into her lungs. The silence bringing it all to the front. Forcing her to remember...

Seth.

Seth's _wedding_.

_Grace..._

It was excruciating, the ache in the center of her chest. The knowledge that her brother was marrying a girl she had never met. One whose _name_ she had only just learned. She hadn't counted on it hurting as fucking bad as it did, but it didn't matter. It was crippling, trying to imagine the person he was now. All the scenarios ran through her head – who he was spending the rest of his life with. If she was kind and strong. If she was a woman worthy of Seth and his gentle heart...

It didn't matter because it was too late. He was marrying her, and Leah had no say in it.

_And Embry had known._

She wanted to hate him all over again. She wanted to tell him to leave and never come back. She wanted him to take his phone and his text messages and the reminders of everything she left behind and just fucking go back to La Push like she'd asked him to so many times.

But it hadn't worked before, and she had no idea how it would this time either.

Still, she told herself she had every fucking right to be angry with him.

If she would have known about it, she could have...

_She could have..._

The elevator doors to Embry's floor opened swiftly in front of her, interrupting Leah's thoughts. The walk to his room was harrowing and long. Leah managed to hang back, watching Embry's frame move, following his hand with her gaze when it dipped into his pocket to find his key card. Not missing how he hesitated for a single moment outside the door before he peered back at her with a soft smile, almost like he was trying to comfort her even though he didn't have the slightest clue what was going on just below her steadfast surface.

Embry walked into the room first, but Leah lingered behind, slowly pushing the door closed against the weight of her body. She tried to push away the thoughts of what happened the last time she was there. Tried to forget what he had done for her. She swore silently to herself when her eyes drifted to Embry's silhouette in the darkness. Barely noticing when he shrugged out of his jacket and his fingers moved to the buttons of his dress shirt. Instead, her stare moved to the bed just beyond him, the sight of it not allowing her to erase what happened. As she remembered the way it was like to be there...with him. How much it had meant to her.

How safe she had felt...

Her stomach wrenched, giving birth to a shudder as Leah let her head fall back against the door. She could feel her breath catching in her throat, that anger – a misplaced betrayal she couldn't help but feel – clawing its way toward her mouth. Aching to come out in strands of venomous words, directed at one person and one person only.

Wanting him to know that what little faith she had inside her she'd given to him to care for the moment she came back. The moment he found her outside his door.

And how much it fucking hurt that he'd already taken it for granted...

Leah could suddenly feel her frame push off the door, her hands curling into fists at her sides. She could feel the blazing heat simmering just below her skin as it redirected, rushing to her legs.

Begging her to move...

But she waited. She waited a moment, her eyes fixed on Embry as he switched on the small lamp next to the bed, bathing the room in a soft, yellow glow. Long enough for him to look at her. For Leah to see the expression in his eyes. A look of concession. A look of apprehensive defeat.

A look of guilt, even if she only imagined it.

It was enough.

As soon as Embry straightened, Leah's body moved, dropping her clutch on the floor and closing the distance between them faster than even she could comprehend. Her head was swimming but she didn't think twice, her limbs moving without waiting for permission.

She wasn't sure how it happened, but before she could blink – before Embry could move – she had a fistful of his shirt in one hand and the other arm pressed against his chest. Before she could tell herself she would get nowhere this way, she drew on every ounce of dormant strength in her body to push him roughly against the wall and keep him there.

"You son of a bitch," she growled, ignoring the frozen shock in Embry's eyes, one she could see clearly between his rapid blinks, as the rest of him struggled to catch up to what Leah was doing. She ignored it all, including the fact he had made it too easy. For her to approach him. For her to hold him there.

"Leah..." he murmured quietly, swallowing thickly before twisting against her hold.

"Shut up," she cut him off, the air leaving her in anxious gasps. Bracing her feet on the floor, she pushed one last time just to make sure he wasn't going anywhere. To keep him beneath her restraint. "Just...shut up. You..." She refused to look at him, instead fixing her stare on a point on the wall just beside her head. She couldn't look in his eyes. It would ruin everything.

But she did it anyway.

Because she wanted to see if she was right. If she was justified in feeling the way she did,

But the resignation – the apology and knowledge in his gaze, mixed with the same fucking kindness she always saw – was enough to make Leah pause. It combined with all the warring thoughts in her head, causing everything inside her to explode into a messy haze of red. To make her forget why he was standing in front of her, and why she wanted him to go away. To make her fingers loosen her grip on his shirt just slightly, even though she was still struggling to breathe. To contain the adrenaline that fueled the steps taking her to where she was, and to soothe her shaking fingers and every cell in her body desperately seeking release.

To make her reconsider where she was placing the blame.

But it was not enough to make her forget words on a cell phone.

_Not enough to forget..._

She wanted _Embry_ to say it. To tell her, but in that moment, she realized she was nowhere near ready for it.

And she wasn't sure she ever would be.

Suddenly, she released Embry, pushing back with so much force she nearly stumbled. A frustrated cry slipped past her parted lips. Still, she closed her eyes, shaking her head wildly. Trying to find the words – _any_ words – to say to him.

"This is why..." she whispered, the only three she could find nearly getting lost in the small room.

Leah opened her eyes, barely managing to swallow past the thick knot in her throat. Embry was already watching cautiously, worry written all over his features, shoulders rising and falling with heavy breaths.

He took a step toward her. She couldn't move.

"You saw the text, didn't you?"

Wincing, Leah's gaze fell, hands curling into fists at her sides. Trying fruitlessly to stop the tremors rolling from her fingers. To stop the paralyzing feeling of defeat inside her. "This is why..." she pushed out through clenched teeth, " I kept running."

"Leah..." He spoke her name again, and she heard him take another step, even though she refused to look away from the spot of carpet on which her eyes rested. "It'll be okay..."

The words seemed cheap, easier for Embry to speak than for Leah to believe. She shook her head, eyes snapping toward him, causing his footsteps to stop.

"How can you tell me that?" she exclaimed despondently, lips parting in dismay. "My brother's getting married, Embry. He's getting _married_ and everyone just _forgot_ to tell me. How can you hear me say that and still tell me things will be _okay_?"

The defeated look on Embry's face clawed at something inside her. Leah's stomach twisted, knowing even before he spoke that he wouldn't have a good answer for her. That there was nothing he could say to convince her that's how she should have found out.

He took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. "I should have told you," he admitted quietly.

Leah scoffed, bringing her hand up and rubbing one searing eye with the back of it. "Then why didn't you?" she demanded coldly.

Embry took another step toward her, but she countered it, backing away. Ignoring the look of pain on his face the moment she did. He needed to answer her before she would let him get close again. She needed to hear his explanation.

Eyes fixed on her, Embry refused to move.

"Because it wasn't my place."

Leah grimaced, the words definitely not what she wanted to hear, causing the ache in her gut to flare. "It _was_ your place, Embry," she pressed on, feeling the edge of the bed against the back of her knees. "You wanted me to stop. You wanted things to be different. You wanted to _be here_ for me and help me get my shit together, and I let you...so why didn't you tell me?"

Embry drew in a sharp breath, taking two quick steps before Leah could react. Still, there was nowhere she could go, trapped by the bed. Something so simple refusing to let her keep her distance.

"Because I wanted Seth to be the one who told you."

His words were vehement. Unwavering.

They were exactly what Leah expected he would say.

And as much as she wanted to hate him – as much as she wanted to blame him for all of it and for not telling her – the words, laced with a noble intent she should have expected, registered somewhere inside her as truth, clearing some of the haze in her mind. Taking her right back to her thoughts in the taxi on the way there.

Reminding her this wasn't his fault.

It was _hers_.

Knees suddenly weak, Leah couldn't help it as she sank to the edge of the bed, releasing a ragged breath as she felt the mattress give way beneath her weight.

"This isn't how I wanted you to find out," Embry whispered, his voice closer than it was before. She could feel him, standing just in front of her. "Not from me, Leah...I didn't want you to find out from me. I told Seth to call you. I wanted him to be the one to do it."

Leah swallowed, palms curling around her thighs, lungs holding the breath she drew between dry lips. "What makes you think he was going to?" She turned wide eyes toward him, Embry's dark gaze already on her. "Do you know how long it's been since I've talked to him?"

He looked away, and Leah knew he didn't have a clue.

The words felt like acid on her tongue, but for some reason, she kept them in her mouth. For some reason, she needed to ask something else, the marriage and the girl's name running on repeat in her head. Another part of her needing to know if maybe the reason Seth hadn't told her had something more to do with the very thing that started her life down such a destructive path in the first place.

She swallowed, pushing the question out with every bit of strength she had inside her.

"Is she his imprint?"

She didn't look up but suddenly Embry was kneeling in front of her, those eyes catching hers once again. "Leah..."

Ignoring the throbbing in her chest, she held his gaze. "You have to tell me," she insisted, her voice cracking beneath the difficulty of the words. She ignored it when Embry winced, his hand lifting slightly from his knee. Wanting to reach for her.

"You can't keep things from me," Leah continued. "You're here...and you _can't_. I need to hear it. All of it...even if you think it'll kill me."

She refused to look away, wildly searching for the answer in Embry's eyes before he even spoke the words. Feeling the aftermath of what he would say as his lips parted to speak the words she'd asked for.

"She is..."

Leah's stomach wrenched, and it suddenly made sense. It suddenly made things a little more clear, even if she didn't know for sure. A larger part of her hated it – that her brother never had a choice in who he got to love. That there was always a chance it might have cost them both so much. That maybe there was someone like Leah in the shadows, that had lost entirely too much because of it.

Regardless, she held onto it. Hoping that was the reason Seth hadn't told her.

That maybe he didn't want to hurt her more.

Even if, in that moment, the reality of it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Tell me about her..."

Embry sighed. "Leah..."

"Tell me about her," she repeated, interrupting him. Ignoring the searing moisture she could feel on her cheek. "I want to know. You have to tell me. You owe me that much."

Embry took a deep, ragged breath. Conceding to her words.

"She's the same age as Seth," he murmured softly. "She's actually Kim's cousin. She was from Neah Bay originally, a Makah...like my mom. She's smart, Leah, and kind. She actually just finished school in Seattle. She's a teacher...and they hired her at the rez school, and she's gonna be teaching kindergarten and first grade."

Leah held her breath, hanging onto every word even when Embry paused, a smile pulling at his lips. "She's pretty soft-spoken, kind of like Seth, and it's entirely too easy to pick on her. Something Quil and Paul take advantage of...a lot...but Seth doesn't usually let them get away with it."

Leah swallowed, a part of her needing to ask. A part of her feeling like she could rely on Embry's answer.

"Do you think she deserves him?"

Embry's smile returned, his eyes softening. "She loves him, and he loves her...and so do we. So yeah, I think she does."

Finally releasing the air in her lungs, Leah leaned forward. All his words – everything he knew that she didn't and the fact she had to take his word for it – had her fighting the urge to double over. To bury her head in her hands and not face what was in front of her. "God, this is so fucked up."

"What is, Leah?"

"All of it!" she exclaimed. Her head lifted, a frustrated expression twisting her features as she glared at Embry. "All of _me_. I just...I should know all this, but...I don't, and I hate it. I hate that she probably doesn't have a fucking clue who I am."

"She knows."

Leah blinked, still watching Embry's unfaltering expression. "But how much?"

Embry's shoulders squared, buying him a moment before he had to answer. "She knows who you are, and she wants you there, Leah...at the wedding."

Grimacing, Leah shook her head, roughly rubbing her face with her hands. "Only because she doesn't know...because Seth probably didn't tell her. None of you guys probably did...why I'm not around. Where the scars on Emily's face came from..."

"No...she wants you there because you're Seth's sister and he loves you."

"You sound awful sure of that..." She couldn't help it, her hopes from earlier overshadowed by the reality of it. By the _uncertainty_ of it. How there was no way she could know for sure...not until she talked to him.

And even though she knew what to do – how she could start to fix it – a part of her was too paralyzed to admit it. A part of her was too afraid of what would happen if she tried.

"Because I _am_," Embry replied steadfastly, answering her. One hand finally came up to rest on her knee, the heat from it a stark contrast to the cold she felt inside. "I meant it when I said I told him to call you, and I think he will. But even so, what's to stop you from calling him first?"

"He doesn't want to hear from me..." The words were ingrained in her, a belief she had taught herself was truth. But hearing herself say it, she couldn't help but question it.

"How do you know?"

"Because he hasn't spoken to me in over a year, Embry!" Leah couldn't help it as she rose to her feet, taking a purposeful step away from him. Letting the words from earlier finally spill out. Embry followed her, but she turned her back to him, unable to take any more.

"And it's fucking killed me...every damn day, it's killed me, and I don't know how to fucking fix it," she cried, her voice rising. "I pick up the phone and I just stare it because I don't know what to say. I don't know how to make things better...any of it. And I don't think I could handle it if he didn't answer...or if he did and then refused to talk to me. I just...I _can't._"

Embry took a breath, moving behind her. "What did you say at dinner tonight, Leah? About opportunities?"

Leah closed her eyes.

_You can't expect results by sitting back and hoping they come to you..._

But her own advice suddenly didn't seem so easy, even if it was something that got her through the last six years on her own.

"I don't think I can fix this, Embry," she whispered, opening her eyes and turning to face him. Her life and everything she'd broken along the way all she needed to back up her up. How her attempt to fix things had, in fact, only made them worse.

Despite the fact she desperately wanted to believe this was something she _could_ fix.

But how could she when something as simple as a text message had almost unhinged her completely? How could she face what she left behind and mend so many broken bridges when she'd barely started fixing herself? How could she not lose her fucking mind in the process?

_She couldn't..._

But the way Embry was watching her, it was clear he thought she could.

Leah shook her head wildly, tearing her eyes from his. Feeling like she had to say it. "And even if I can, he'll want me there. He'll want me at the wedding and I don't think I can do it. I don't think I can go back...and face everyone else."

"Leah..." Embry took a step forward. "Believe me when I tell you that you _can_. That it might be okay..." He paused, searching her eyes to make sure she was really listening. "And that you won't be alone if you do. You won't be in it by yourself."

"I don't think I can," she repeated robotically, heart still pounding as she trained her gaze on the floor just next to Embry's feet. "Not yet. Not this soon...I'm not ready."

"I know," he murmured, "but this should count for something." By that point, he was only inches from her, reaching up. His hands hesitating for a moment, making sure she wouldn't pull away. She held his eyes, refusing to move. Something inside her forbidding it.

He took her face between his hands, tipping her head up. Making sure she watched. Making sure she was listening.

Leah held her breath.

"You're still _here_, Leah," he pressed on quietly. "Talking about it, even after all this. You didn't run. And that means something. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, and even though it should, it means something to me."

Leah closed her eyes, letting the words register somewhere inside her, mixing with the warmth of his hands on her skin. Letting the truth of each one soak in. Knowing that a week earlier, she wouldn't have been standing there, facing it. Giving her demons a voice. Knowing she would have been long gone. Still hiding, without a second thought.

Behind closed eyelids, she realized Embry was right. That even if he hadn't told her, somehow, he'd helped give her the strength to get through it. To make her pause, to think before fleeing.

Knowing he'd be there if she tried to...

Or maybe she was simply stronger than she realized.

Maybe it was something she _could_ do...eventually...even if she spent years convincing herself otherwise.

But in that moment, it still seemed like too much. Too big. Too daunting. Too impossible to get rid of that last shred of sickening defeat, the one that seemed to hold her back from facing everything she left behind. That feeling of worthlessness that was so imperviously hard to shed.

She found herself leaning forward, hands lifting, pressing against Embry's chest. Feeling his heartbeat beneath her fingers.

"Maybe to you," she whispered, "but would it mean something to the others? Am I worth it to anyone else? The pack? My family?" She closed her eyes, shaking her head at her inability to get out of her own way. "What's the point in trying to fix it? To put myself back in that life when everyone...you, Seth, Sam...you're all different now. You've all done fine without me..."

Embry's hand moved tentatively, thick fingers gently tracing the curve of her jaw. Urging her to look at him.

"We're better with you around, Leah," he responded, his voice thick with truth and conviction. "We always have been."

Fingers curling into this shirt, Leah blinked back the scalding moisture in her eyes, trying to push down the sudden raw vulnerability she felt. The need she couldn't ignore and how she was hanging onto Embry with everything inside her, wanting to take what he said at face value, but another part of her needing more.

"Tell me why I'm supposed to believe you..."

The corner of Embry's mouth lifted, his small, unconcerned smile reassuring her in its own way.

"You don't have to believe me," he admitted, "but there's really only one way for you to find out. You'll have to see for yourself, but in the meantime, I'm still here...standing in front of you. Telling you it's not just them, Leah." He paused, dipping his head slightly. Coming close enough she could feel his warm breath on her lips. "They're not the only ones who are better when you're around."

She felt each word – the confidence behind them. The warmth, traveling to the very center of her body and grabbing hold of her. Refusing to let her doubt – any other proof she needed tangible in the ebony eyes, watching her with the same assurance, just as they had days earlier when she'd been on the cusp of losing herself completely.

Leah blinked, her eyes lowering. Landing on his mouth. The curve of his lips. Wondering if it would feel like the last time...

Her hands gripped him tighter.

"And the others?" Embry spoke, causing her concentration to falter. His voice lifting her eyes. "You'll see it...eventually, but don't think about that. Not right now. You don't have to go home...not yet. Not until you're ready.

His words were steady, a reminder to take it one step at a time. To simply be there and let the rest of it come.

Leah's eyes lowered again.

"Look at me." His voice was barely audible, but she heard every word. She felt his finger beneath her chin, lifting her face toward him. Holding her with those eyes in a way no one else before had been able to.

"Just focus on this. Focus on today. Focus on _me_, Leah. Do _this_."

Staring into those eyes, she felt it again as the warmth turned into something more. That same sensation that crept through her body when he pressed against her on the dance floor at the concert. It was the same warmth she felt when his lips captured hers – in a kitchen so many years before, in hers just days earlier. The way his hands moved over her skin, his frame resting prominently between her legs. His mouth moving against hers in the bathroom at her bar, a gesture to secure a promise. To make his point. To show her he meant everything he said.

It was the same safety that consumed her when he held her in his bed, his body wrapped around her. When he pulled her into his arms outside his door, hands splayed across her back. Holding her. Refusing to let go.

It was a feeling she'd been void of for nearly six years.

But even then, in that moment, it was still different.

It was something entirely new.

It all combined, mixing with the words he'd said. She didn't want him to move. She didn't want him to go anywhere. He _hadn't_ let her down.

He'd pulled her back. Again.

And she was filled...with _hope_. With a strange sense of certainty. With a desire to pull him to _her_. To hold him closer. To believe every word he ever said to her.

With a consuming need to trust him, desperately wanting to show him even if she didn't know how. Not yet. Not completely.

But something shifted before she got the chance.

Embry pulled back slightly, the dim light from the lamp behind him dancing across his undoubting expression. Leah's eyes grazed over his features, and she could see him swallow thickly, his ebony eyes contemplative but still so certain. Slowly, his hands dropped from her face, traveling to her shoulders. Mapping out a path along her flesh until they reached her elbows, one hand tightening its hold on her. Urging her to turn around.

"One step at a time," he repeated, his voice barely a whisper. "Do _this_..."

And even though she refused to close her eyes – even though she didn't want to look away – she did the moment she felt her body turn. When she found herself facing the bed, eyelids fluttering open, her gaze fixed on some unknown point on the other side of the terrace door glass. Both arms stiff at her sides, Leah held her breath, unsure of what was happening but knowing it wouldn't matter.

Because _this_ she could do.

_This_, she wanted. Whatever it was.

A part of her wondered...what it would feel like. What it would mean if pretense and ulterior motives were stripped away.

She closed her eyes again, the moment she felt Embry's overwhelming presence directly behind her, the second that heat reached out and wrapped itself around her. She let her fingers slowly curl into fists, unfurling a moment later when Embry's breath washed across her neck, causing a slow, deep shiver to erupt across her flesh.

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, Leah reminded herself to breathe just before his warm hands brushed across the smooth, copper flesh of her shoulders.

_Focus on this..._

The thought taking everything from before with it.

Leah's inhales were deep – her exhales quietly labored – as Embry ran the tips of his fingers down the long, slender length of her arms. Taking his time. Drawing it out before she felt each one at her wrists. Before the fingers of his left hand laced through hers and the other rested softly on the underside of her wrist, coaxing it up. Urging her arm to rise beneath the gentle coercion.

Listening to the way he moved, Leah stretched her arm out beside her, Embry's mimicking the action. He brushed his fingers over hers, traveling over her knuckles to her fingertips and back again. Rendering her helpless as each tiny movement paralyzed her. As they forbid her to move just before he took that hand in his as well.

Eyes still closed, what breath she held in her lungs rapidly spilled out when she felt Embry gently press his lips to the spot where her neck met her shoulder. As his soft, warm mouth lingered there, sealing a silent promise into her skin. Savoring the taste of her before he moved, leaving another kiss on her flesh as his lips traveled farther from where he started.

Leah's body shook, and she found herself leaning into him, her back pressing gently against his chest. The fire inside her continued to burn, the flames growing as she never lost track of where he was, his lips still brushing along her skin. Traveling down her arm, his mouth not missing a single spot as warm breath spilled over sensitive skin.

When he reached her hand, Leah opened her eyes, turning her head slightly. She could only watch as Embry's fingers wrapped tighter around hers. As he gently bent her arm, lifting her hand. Bringing it to his lips, hesitating for a single moment before pressing them to the back of her fingers. Pulling it away only to repeat the movement, leaving his mark on each of her knuckles.

She wanted to move. She wanted _more_, but not a single part of her would listen.

Not a single part of her wanted him to stop.

So she stayed where she was, her eyes unable to follow Embry when he slowly lowered her hand to her side. As he moved behind her once again, her breath catching when his hands reappeared on her shoulders. As he pushed her hair to one side, delicately sweeping it over her shoulder. Leah's body ached with the desire to move, but still, she remained where she was. Following each restrained exhale, each movement of his fingers as they came to a rest on the small zipper of her dress.

Leah closed her eyes, a part of her suddenly not sure if she wanted things to go that far. A part of her wondering if she allowed it to happen, whether or not he would still be there when it was all over.

But when she felt those smooth, warm lips on the back of her neck, lingering – breathing her in – she released her own. Pushing out the uncertainty with it. Hanging onto the warmth she felt.

Surrendering control...

Putting it all in Embry's hands, at least for that moment.

_Trusting him_, as much as she could.

She stood completely still when deft hands pushed the straps of the dress from her shoulders. As she relaxed her arms and let the fabric fall, lifting her arms just slightly to allow Embry to remove it the rest of the way, revealing the bare, copper flesh beneath. The dress pooling at her feet as it hit the floor in one whispered movement.

Bringing one hand up, it took Leah only a moment to realize her fingers were trembling, letting the tips graze her stomach. She waited, everything inside her on fire as Embry closed the small distance between them, one arm reaching around her. His hand covering hers as he brushed his nose along her exposed neck, inhaling deeply. Releasing the breath through his lips, the warmth of it causing a visceral shudder to tear up Leah's spine.

One arm moved, disconnecting from the rest of her body as it reached behind her. As her fingers found him, weaving through the hair at the nape of his neck. As she was finally able to move the rest of her body, turning her head just slightly.

Catching Embry's eyes, Leah found all the permission she needed – all the reassurance – as she tightened her hold on him. As she pulled him toward her, inhaling sharply the moment his mouth covered hers with a startling need. An intensity that left her breathless.

She twisted in his arms, turning to face him, lips never leaving his as they moved familiarly against hers. Wrapping her arms around his neck, large hands burned against her waist. Possessing her as the traveled her burning skin.

She pulled, an inherent part of her still wanting more, fighting to breathe when his tongue swept across her bottom lip. As she parted hers, giving him permission. Deepening the kiss as his hands splayed across her back, holding her tightly against him.

Leah was losing herself in it, never losing track of where Embry was. How his mouth moved against hers. How his heart was pounding, matching her own. How his hands moved down, tightening their grip on her thighs just before she felt her feet leave the ground.

Holding on impossibly tighter, Leah pulled away slightly, taking Embry's bottom lip between her teeth. Trembling at the subtle growl it elicited deep in his chest. Recapturing his mouth with hers as he moved. Never separating from him, even when she felt the jarring coolness of a comforter against her flushed skin. Even when Embry was suddenly hovering over her, one hand brushing tenderly against her cheek.

So many times before it felt wrong. So many times before, it didn't feel good.

But in that moment, it was different. In that moment, he reminded her once again why he wasn't like the others.

As Embry's hard, eager body pressed into hers – as Leah's thighs hitched around his hips – she didn't feel any of those things. It was all missing. The dread. The helplessness. The anger. The crippling emptiness.

She didn't feel _any_ of those things.

And she wanted more, for reasons entirely different than she was used to it, even if she didn't know why.

All Leah knew was she didn't want him to stop.

Which is why the cool air washing over her heated skin startled her. Forcing her eyes open, her chest heaved with labored breaths. The haze cleared from her vision, allowing Leah to see Embry kneeling between her legs, his gaze heavy and lustful, but a softness still lingering on his face.

Leah frowned, propping herself on her elbows. "What's wrong?"

Embry shook his head. "Nothing...nothing's wrong." When she didn't respond, unable to look away, he released a breath. Leaning down, he kissed her softly, stunning her with how easily she responded. And even though he was almost hesitant, she could still feel what it carried. Another silent reassurance even though she hadn't asked for it.

When he pulled away, it was all Leah could do not to move with him.

"Close your eyes..."

Leah shivered at the sound of his voice, the warmth of his lips brushing against hers. Blinking, she searched his eyes for something – an explanation, a reason – but found nothing other than what she saw before.

Taking a deep breath, she listened, eyelashes ghosting across her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut.

She held the air in her lungs, all of it escaping in a swift rush when she felt Embry brush his lips tenderly against her pulse, his tongue peeking out to taste her.

Still, she kept her eyes closed, letting her other senses compensate for what she couldn't see. Listening to his body shift. Feeling him between her legs, the way his demin-covered hips contrasted against her bare thighs. Smelling the subtle scent of sea and pine filtering into her nostrils. A scent she suddenly wanted more of as she drew a long, ragged breath through her nose.

Embry moved, and Leah's hands curled into fists at her sides when his mouth grazed along her clavicle. Tracing patterns with his lips, blazing hands gently stroking the curve of her waist.

He didn't stop, journeying down her body, mapping a path with his mouth. Refusing to miss a single spot as he drifted across her flesh. Destitute lips traveling slowly down the valley between her breasts, Leah's chest rising and falling as she fought to catch her breath.

Her hands curled around the comforter, the heady silence in the room pierced by nothing but her own subtle gasps each time Embry moved. Each time his kisses marked a new place and he claimed another piece of her. Soothing any leftover anxiety she held with a sweep of his tongue, and sealed beneath a sure and steady mouth.

Finally reaching her stomach, he lingered just below her belly button. Leah had to fight herself. She wanted to open her eyes – she wanted to see him – but she pressed her lips tightly together, keeping her body prone and still beneath him.

She could hear Embry straighten, his legs pressing into the mattress beneath them. He drew his fingers up her thighs, traveling to her knees and back again. Repeating the action, Leah's legs trembled, her head pressing harder against the bed beneath every stroke of his hands.

She felt his breath again, just above her knee. The heat from it doing little to calm the foreign need inside her, even as he left one last kiss in its place.

It was excruciating, how he took his time.

God, she wanted more...

"You're so beautiful..."

He whispered the words against her skin, each one reaching inside her. Replacing that fire. Quickly dulling it with something else. Words no one had spoke to her in so long, ushering everything else away with the subtle warmth of a devotion and respect she wasn't used to.

The way they sounded, falling from Embry's lips, reminding her what it felt like to hear them.

Reminding her how much it _still_ mattered to her.

And Leah suddenly understood why. She understood what he was doing. How he was giving her what he felt she deserved. Every slow movement, every drawn out kiss, every gentle touch of his hand.

How he finally was able to show her what she was worth. To _him_. That her body – that _she_ – deserved more than she'd allowed it to be given for far too long.

She deserved to be worshipped. To know she was worth every single moment of every second he was trying to prolong.

And she couldn't bring herself to mind. She couldn't bring herself to care.

The fact it wasn't what she was used to only made her want more.

Only made her want _him_ more.

Leah opened her eyes.

She found him already watching her, the smallest of smiles resting on his mouth. A simple gesture that threatened to pull her apart completely.

Sitting up slowly, she freed her body of the invisible hold he held on it. Reaching out for Embry, his gaze fell, watching her hands move. Still, she studied his face. The expression on it – the way his breath caught in his chest when she captured the hem of his shirt between agile fingers. Pushing as Embry grasped it, pulling it over his head in one swift movement. Those ebony eyes catching her reverent stare. Those lips smiling as they watched the soft regard she was sure he would find on hers.

Leah let her arms fall, grasping for Embry in the dim light. Her hands finding the hard curves of his chest, drawing out her own moment. Memorizing him, her fingers curling into smooth, copper flesh. Again, feeling his heartbeat beneath her hands.

Memorizing how it beat for her, in that moment.

How he was still there – _for_ her – when she absolutely needed him the most.

How she needed him in that moment, in an entirely different way.

Leah held onto him harder as she leaned in, closing her eyes and pressing her lips to the very spot that heart rested inside his chest.

Silently telling him, in the only way she knew how, just how thankful she was for a heart that, no matter what, refused to give up on her.

Pushing everything else away, she pulled back, opening her eyes and tipping her head toward Embry. Everything else gone as he bent down, Leah's arms curling tightly around his neck. As she stretched to meet him, the sweetness of his lips overtaking her just before they covered hers. Before she deepened the kiss, her body giving way beneath his as he lowered her to the bed.

Surrendering to him all over again, hands still pressed fiercely to his chest.

Keeping him there.

Still, refusing to let go.

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**AN: *cheesy wave* Huge thanks to all of you who reviewed and read the last chapter. It's driving me nuts I haven't had time to respond to your reviews individually, but time has been short and the way I see it – you'd rather I spend that time writing, right? :D Anyway, thank you again, you guys! You all rock my world.**

**Anyway, so this chapter... thoughts?**


	13. Control

_****__****__****__****__****__****__****____**Disclaimer: **__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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_**AN: **__Just a reminder, everyone. If you ever feel the urge to listen to the suggested songs with each chapter, you can find this story's FULL playlist over on Grooveshark. If you go there, search by my penname (meliz875), you'll find the link to my profile there, which lists ALL my playlists, including individual chapter playlists and a master playlist as well. :)_

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_**Suggested Listening: "I Know You Care" by Ellie Goulding, "Alas We Aspire" by Amy Stroup, "Open Season" by High Highs, "Heartache Is A Cold Place" by A Boy and His Kite, "Great Divide" by Lovedrug**_

When traces of morning light pulled her from a deep, dreamless sleep, the first thing Leah noticed wasn't the dark, unfamiliar room she found herself in. It wasn't the foreign bed covers she was tucked under, or the strong, comforting aroma of sea and pine as it filtered slowly into her nostrils.

It wasn't any of that.

Instead, it was the cold. The lack of heat surrounding her. The silence. A heartbeat that lulled her to sleep the night before was nowhere to be found.

Slowly, Leah opened her eyes, blinking as she shifted beneath the cotton blanket wrapped around her body. Letting her gaze sweep over the room she was in, an abundance of light filtered through the cracks in the drawn curtains, bathing the room in the faintest of glows. Allowing her to remember where she was.

_As if it would be possible to forget..._

Feeling the smallest of smiles pull at her lips, Leah brought her arms up, blearily rubbing her face with her hands. Letting them fall to the pillow, her eyes closed. She didn't forget. Instead, she remembered. Every kiss, every touch, every whispered word that led her to the place she was in that moment. How fluidly it happened. How easy it had been to let it.

How it somehow helped her leave behind another piece of another place she didn't want to be anymore.

She remembered it all.

What happened...

Rolling to her side, Leah sighed. Allowing her gaze to fall on the empty space next to her in the large bed, she noticed how the blankets had been pulled up to fill it. Reaching out with one arm, she released a deep sigh as her finger absentmindedly traced the prominent indent in the pillow, marking the place where Embry slept but no longer was.

What happened between them the night before continued to surface in nuanced flashes. How hands moved and mouths explored, how every moment was drawn out to last as long as possible. How they'd savored each other, together and one at a time, before it came to a slow and peaceful close.

Leah closed her eyes.

Remembering how Embry hadn't tried to take it any farther.

Remembering how she couldn't bring herself to _ask_ him to, despite how much a large, inexplicable part of her wanted it. Despite how she could see it in his eyes, memorizing every curve and path of her body, relishing every movement. Gleaming with a feral, instinctual fire, confirming he wanted it too.

But it didn't happen.

She'd laid next to Embry instead, facing him. Watching him for no explainable reason as he watched her in return, his ebony eyes filled with a fervent softness she couldn't seem to wrap her head around. A look she should have been used to by that point, but she wasn't. She couldn't get _enough_ of it, siphoning everything she could from it. A silent understanding somehow passing between them, one that carried no words to complicate things.

Leah could feel him. She could hear the sound of his relaxed, even breaths, the cool sheets beneath her cheek a definite contrast from the temperature of his bare skin pressed against hers.

Flashes – snippets of the hours, the days, leading her there – came back to her hazy mind, allowing that comforting warmth to once again spread through her veins. Keeping the emptiness away. _Filling_ Leah with something she hadn't felt in entirely too long.

She was _close_...much closer to him, to _all_ of it, than she'd let herself get at any point leading her there. Quite possibly in over her head, all her need for the man beside her tangible in that moment. At the mercy of those eyes.

Putting herself in a position she always told herself she'd never be in again.

But in that moment, she couldn't find it in herself to care.

Fingers gripping the sheet beneath her, heavy eyes recaptured his, not missing the way they looked at her. Confident. Certain. When he offered her a smile filled with a million words he wanted to say, the twisting in her stomach was enough to knock the breath from her lungs.

Still, she didn't speak and neither did he. Instead, her hand reached out, fingertips drawing aimless patterns on the dips of his chest. She needed to touch him. To prove to some distant part of herself that it all really happened. That she had opened herself to him. Surrendered control. That he was still there and everything going on inside her - every last bit of content she felt in that moment - was real.

_That maybe it wouldn't go away..._

"Will you stay?" he'd asked her quietly.

God, she wanted those words, too. But as she drew in a deep breath, another word she was used to formed on her tongue, everything inside her preparing to disappoint him. A part of her screaming to ease up before she let herself be pulled in farther.

But when Leah's lips parted, it wouldn't come out. She couldn't say it.

She didn't _want_ to say it.

She didn't want it to go away...

Her mouth closed, and Leah didn't speak a word. She smiled at him instead. Leaning forward, she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his. Just to make sure the word stayed inside her mouth. A silent answer to his question. Quieting the protests inside her.

Still, something pulled at her insides when she drifted back to the present. Forcing her eyes to open, Leah's gaze drifted toward the door on the opposite side of the room. As a part of her wondered where Embry was and why he had left. Why he wasn't there. An inherent reaction in the back of her mind she couldn't seem to ignore.

Wondering - still - if this was ending the same way...

Her eyes traveled from her place in Embry's bed, landing on his suitcase, still sitting propped open on the luggage rack next to the armoire.

Leah let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, pushing the unwarranted anxiety right out with it.

Rolling to her back, Leah sat up, pushing disheveled strands of hair from her face. Tossing back the blankets, the lack of barrier allowed the cool air to sweep over her bare flesh, leaving an icy trail of goose bumps in its wake. Silently, Leah threw her legs over the side of the bed, standing and stretching before making her way to the foot of the mattress. Her gaze lowering as she found Embry's t-shirt from the night before, crumpled at her feet. The slight smile returned when she bent at the waist, trying to ignore the rampant thoughts of tired cliches she was bringing to life when she scooped up the disheveled garment and pulled it over her head.

_Fuck it, _she thought, reminding herself it was a much better option than the dress she had on the night before.

The thin cotton smelled of him, the scent enveloping her all over again as Leah distractedly ran her hand through her hair one last time. While one part of her wished wildly for a cup of coffee, another wondered what the hell she was supposed to do now. Leave? Call Embry? Wait for him to come back? It was enough to make her head swim with foreign questions she didn't know the answers to, her feet taking a few steps toward the terrace doors. Pulling the curtain aside, Leah peered through the glass, eyes immediately taking in the bright August morning waiting just on the other side.

She didn't think much of it when her fingers reached for the handle. Pulling the door aside, the warm air and busy sounds of the city rushing to greet her.

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Leah stepped onto the terrace, approaching the railing as she let her eyes sweep over the city several floors below. Regardless of where Embry was, a part of her was grateful for the moment he'd inadvertently given her. For the time to sort through the inevitable aftermath of everything that happened the night before. She wasn't used to it, knowing words would have to be said. Knowing they'd crossed some invisible line, and they were past the point of two friends simply being there for one another. Knowing there was more to it than that. There had _always_ been more to it than that, even if it was something she never recognized.

Knowing there was no way it meant nothing to Embry.

A part of her silently acknowledging it meant something to her, too, even if she didn't know what that something was.

With a heavy sigh, Leah pushed back from the railing, taking a couple steps before collapsing into one of the patio chairs. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she took a deep breath, letting her eyes travel over the Chicago skyline, still wondering what all of it _did_ mean. Contemplating where the hell she was going to go from that point.

Frankly, she had no fucking idea.

But Leah's gaze faltered, trailing toward the open terrace glass when she heard the soft sound of a door opening and closing from inside the room.

Holding her breath, Leah wrapped her arms around her legs, all thoughts from before gone as she waited. Propping her chin on one knee, the face she expected to see peered hesitantly around the door. Accepting the small smile he gave her by offering him one in return. A part of her relieved to see it again.

"Hey," he said softly, and Leah was surprised by the sudden shyness in his voice.

It warmed something inside her, remembering a time from _long_ before. Reminding her of another Embry, when he used to look at her the same way, his voice carrying the same modesty. Wondering how she'd never really paid attention to those kind eyes and the bashful smile lingering on his lips in that moment.

It was clear Embry noticed the way she was watching him. His eyes dropped as the smile erupted into a grin, all protection from insecurities and words - offered by the moments they lost themselves in the night before - gone as quickly as it came.

"Hey," she murmured back, her gaze falling when Embry stepped over the threshold. It was then Leah could see the two coffee to-go cups in his hands and a small bag clasped carefully between one.

"Sorry I wasn't here when you woke up," he continued, sitting in the chair next to her. "I brought a peace offering."

The hopeful grin he gave her made Leah smile, too. Watching as he slid the cups across the small patio table, she dropped her feet to the cool cement beneath them. Leaning forward, Leah turned the cup so she could see the label on the cardboard holder. "Argo, huh?"

"Yeah," Embry confirmed, placing the bag next to the cups. "I found one a few days ago, a few blocks from here, and the coffee is way better than the sludge they serve down in the lobby."

"I'm sure," Leah said lightly, claiming one of the cups. Leaning back in her seat, she decided to keep things as lighthearted as possible. "I told myself I was gonna be mad at you for just taking off, but I think I might reconsider now. Had you come back empty-handed, I mighta been telling a different story."

Bringing the cup to her lips, Leah let her gaze travel to the man beside her, watching as a light, easy smile still rested on his mouth. "Black, right?" Embry asked, glancing at her as he leaned forward to open the paper bag.

She took a sip, suddenly knowing exactly what he meant. "Perfect."

Embry chuckled. "I remember how much crap you used to give Quil for putting so much cream and sugar in his coffee."

Leah scoffed, clutching the cup tighter between her palms. "Well, if he wanted to be a baby about it, he shoulda went out and got a gallon of chocolate milk instead of wasting perfectly good coffee."

Grinning, Embry brought the bag back to his lap. "He still drinks his coffee like that. Idiot uses about a half-bottle of creamer for each cup he drinks."

Leah grimaced, brushing her lips against the cup's plastic lid. "That's disgusting."

"I know." Embry reached into the bag. "I think I've figured out the reason he's always so fucking hyper is the sugar in that crap, not the caffeine."

"Or just because he's Quil," Leah murmured, finally taking a sip. Her eyes fixed on one of Chicago's many tall buildings, emerging from its concrete surroundings and dominating the crystal blue sky.

The crinkling of paper brought Leah out her trance. Lowering her cup, she peered over at Embry, her gaze lowering to the source of the noise.

"Oh, hell. You didn't..."

Embry grinned, offering her a delicate pastry wrapped in a thin, white paper. "The girl working there said the apple tarts were popular, so..."

Letting out a soft groan, Leah took the tart between her fingers. "You are my favorite person right now."

Embry shrugged, his smile widening. "Apparently, the city folk like a little butter and sugar with their flax bars and green tea."

"Ugh, I'll take these over that any day," she laughed, peeling back the paper and picking a piece of caramelized apple from the top of it. Popping it in her mouth, she closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath before swallowing. "My office isn't close enough to an Argo, so I almost never get these." She took a huge bite out of the succulent pastry, not thinking twice before she opened her mouth to speak again. "Mmm, you did good. I just might keep you around yet, Call."

Chewing, Leah ventured a glance at Embry, finding him already peering at her from where he sat, the somewhat distant yet hopeful look in his eyes pulling at something inside her. Causing her to remember everything all over again. The moments coming back. Whispered words. Tender touches. Every kiss.

Causing her to see, for a single moment, what the possibility of the words meant to him.

That maybe he had a few less questions than she did.

But she kept smiling, the action teasing and requiring little effort, even as she reached up to lick the gooey cinnamon mixture from her index finger.

"So pastries are all it takes, huh?" Embry's gaze lightened. "You're a cheap date, Clearwater."

"And you're figuring it out quick."

He made an amused noise in his throat, removing his own pastry from the bag as Leah chewed thoughtully on hers, the silence between them comfortable and easy. Something she hadn't anticipated, but was grateful for nonetheless. He took a bite, chewing a moment before he looked at her, swallowing thickly.

"So what's there to do around here on Sundays?"

Leah took a deep breath. "Well, what have you done since you've been here?" she asked. "You know...besides showing up at random dive bars in Bucktown and breaking into bathroom stalls?"

"Hey, I don't get to do that too often, you know..."

Leah grinned in spite of herself. "I figured..."

Embry swallowed, pushing his hair back from his face as the warm breeze caught it. "But no...in all honesty, I haven't done much," he replied. "Besides, you know, going to meetings and chasing you all around Chicago."

Rolling her eyes playfully, Leah chewed hard on a bite of tart. "So, you haven't been out to see the city at all since you got here?"

Embry's gaze fell. "Not really."

Sighing, she leaned forward, carefully placing the pastry on the table, making sure it rested on the thin paper in which it came. Turning to look at him, Leah leaned back in her chair. "So, don't take this the wrong way, but how often do you actually get out of La Push, Em?"

He chuckled, taking a bite of his own pastry. "Not very often," he admitted with a mouth full of apples.

"Exactly," Leah responded knowingly, "so why wouldn't you take advantage of it? Autumn was right when she told you there are a lot of great things to see. Touristy stuff...holes in the wall. You name it."

Taking a deep breath, Embry looked at his feet before he spoke. "Pretty sure I wouldn't even know where to start."

Leah hesitated, but refused to think too hard about it. She refused to question the words as each one formed on her tongue. Almost like they would have come out eventually, even if his hadn't prompted them.

"Well, it's a good thing you have someone here who knows her way around, huh?"

One eyebrow lifting, Embry glanced up at her, his lips fighting a coy grin. "So is that you're way of asking me to spend the day with you?"

She couldn't help it as she rolled her eyes again, shaking her head but smiling when she looked away. Ignoring the nervous knot suddenly sitting like a lead weight in the pit of her stomach.

"Or it could just be me offering to show you around, since I'm the only person in this city you know…"

Leah looked back in time to see Embry nod, his shoulders lifting in an exaggerated shrug. "I could always call Autumn. I bet she'd do it…"

"Ha," Leah snorted, sitting her coffee on the table and rising to her feet, not losing track of how Embry's eyes followed her as she moved. Turning, she cocked an eyebrow and peered down at him. "Too bad you don't have her number."

"Well, there was that day I stopped by your office…"

Shaking her head, Leah looked away with a laugh, her feet moving toward the open terrace door. "You're a smooth guy, Embry Call. Didn't know you had it in you."

"Well, then you _should_ know…" Embry's words drifted off, and before Leah could reach the door, she felt a blazing hand wrap around her wrist, the sensation of his fingers digging into her flesh dissolving the knot in her stomach. Pushing the remnants of its heat through her veins.

Body frozen, she looked down at him to find those ebony eyes already watching her, all joking gone by the time she did.

"I'd rather have you do it," he continued, his voice low, a small smile still resting on his mouth. "So yeah...if you won't ask, I will. Do you want to spend the day with me?"

The sincerity in his eyes, barely masking the hope resting alongside it, kept Leah from looking away. His was the same look that pierced straight through her from the pillow next to her the night before, reassuring her that it was okay to be there. That maybe it was fine to want more.

That maybe things didn't have to be complicated.

That, for now, it might just be okay to leave the questions alone.

That it was still okay to want him around...

Taking a deep breath, Leah moved without giving her body permission. Her eyes watching Embry as she bent at the waist, drawing closer to him. Closing them as she tasted the sweetness of apple on his breath just before leaving a soft, sincere kiss on a pair of lips that reignited the heat inside her body. Not missing it when his fingers dug tighter into her wrist.

Pulling away, she lingered for just a moment before opening her eyes, finding his bewildered ones already watching her. His dark gaze still so filled with the same certainty she'd come to rely on.

She wasn't sure when her free hand lifted, but she noticed when her fingers absentmindedly traced the line of his jaw.

"Under one condition…" she finally whispered, giving him a small smile when she felt the hand around her wrist slowly disappear. As she straightened, despite a small part of her still watching those lips. Wanting to kiss them again now that, removed from the night before, she'd given both of them permission to let it happen again.

One brow lifting, there was a tentative curiosity in Embry's eyes. "What's that?"

Pursing her lips, Leah's own eyebrow arched expectantly. "We have to stop by my place...so I can change clothes."

A part of her warmed at the relieved glint in his eyes, another suddenly looking forward to the idea. Of spending the day in the city with another person. Of spending the day with _him_.

Without a word to accompany it, Embry captured her hand when she turned to go inside, refusing to release it even as she turned away.

She held on, too.

Only letting it go when she finally stepped through the door, Leah's insides twisting in a way she hadn't felt in years. The sensation foreign. Pleasant. _Overwhelming_. The smile still resting on her lips as she walked silently toward the bathroom.

Hanging onto it instead.

Still blown away and awestruck by the fact he wanted her around as much as she suddenly found herself wanting to be there.

* * *

"Holy crap, we're high up…"

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, Leah's shins pressed against the railing separating her and Embry from the floor-to-ceiling glass windows of the John Hancock Observatory in downtown Chicago. Their day was coming to a close and this was the best place she could think of to show him parts of the city he might not get to see.

It was their last stop. After running to her loft to shower and change, she'd taken him back downtown, arriving at Millennium Park by noon. They'd spent a couple hours there, eating lunch and wandering around. Stopping every once in awhile so Leah could point out the tallest buildings in the city, telling him which ones they were and what was inside them.

When Embry suggested going to the Field Museum, Leah smiled and agreed, knowing it would be a place he could easily lose himself in for hours.

When they got there, Leah hung back as much as she could, letting Embry take in what he wanted and spend time at exhibits he found interesting. Growing up, she'd paid enough attention to know he had always been intelligent, hiding it like a lot of the boys she knew did, but Leah clearly remembered the love he had for science. For how things worked and how they grew.

So she observed quietly, content to watch how he lost himself in some of the displays. Smiling when he mumbled unintelligible words and observations to himself, suddenly remembering she was there before turning to explain what he was looking at to her, too. Leah had been to the Field Museum several times, but she didn't mention it to him. A part of her was too pleased with how much he was enjoying himself, so she kept her mouth shut. She smiled, and she listened.

When they left, a grinning Embry rambling next to her in the backseat of the taxi, Leah decided where she would take him last. A place she would often shell out the money to visit just so she could clear her mind and think. It was far from sacred, always populated by throngs of tourists, but it was a place she loved nonetheless.

Smiling, Leah blinked, her vision refocusing on the city below them, which seemed infinitely smaller from one thousand feet up. "Yeah," she murmured. "I love it here, though."

"I can see why," Embry said quietly from beside her. "You can see everything from up here."

Leah nodded, glancing at Embry knowingly out of the corner of her eye. "And you don't have to wait in line for hours to see it like you do at the Sears Tower."

"That's always a good thing…"

Embry's voice drifted off, overshadowed by distant conversations in other parts of the observatory. Taking a deep breath, Leah held it, eyes traveling up Lake Shore Drive and back again. Watching the microscopic cars traveling in the receding daylight. The silence between her and Embry was thick, but not entirely unwelcome. It didn't feel awkward. It didn't feel forced.

Still, it was interrupted several moments later by an unfamiliar ring of a cell phone, the noise coming from just beside her.

Frowning in spite of herself, Leah glimpsed beside her to see Embry digging into his jeans pocket, eyes fixed on the phone in his hand. Lifting it closer to see who was calling, he stared at it for a long moment, making no move to answer it.

Something in Leah's chest tightened.

"Who is it?" she asked quietly.

Embry swallowed, his gaze still affixed to the phone. "It's Jake." Staring at the phone for another moment, he silenced the ringer with a sweep of his finger, pushing it back into his pocket.

Taking a breath, Leah released it, the tension inside her dissipating. "Don't you wanna take it? You're supposed to sign the papers for the garage this week. It might be important."

Embry shook his head. "I'll just call him back later."

Nodding, Leah tightened her arms around herself. Trying to think of something to say, but only one question coming to mind. One she hadn't thought much about since Embry first told her during their dinner at Blackbird, but one she found herself wanting to know more about this time.

"So when is the baby due?" she asked quietly, pretending not to notice Embry's startled gaze turn toward her. His eyes shifted before she got a good chance to look at them, softly regarding her when she did.

"End of October," Embry replied. Shrugging, his gaze lowered. "But we're all placing bets that Bella's gonna have it way before then."

Leah let a small smile pull at her lips. "Why do you say that?"

"Nothing in particular," Embry responded, an amused grin flashing over his features. "We're just hoping...or else Jake might not make it till then."

"Is she that bad?" Leah queried, lifting one eyebrow, drawing on what little she knew about Bella Swan.

Chuckling, Embry shook his head. "No, she's just…" he paused, "her normal need for order and organization mixed with the unpredictability of pregnancy hormones is just...well, it's a little out of character for her. It's like mood swings on steroids. It's a bit comical actually...if you're not Jake, that is."

Allowing a small laugh of her own to slip past her lips, Leah finally looked away. "So when did that happen...Bella and Jake, I mean?"

"Not long after you left," Embry replied quietly, forcing Leah to think back to where Bella and Jacob had been when she fled La Push. She remembered a pale, meek girl who kept Jacob at arm's length for longer than he should have put up with, but also remembering Jake relentlessly trying to get through to her after her vampire boyfriend - the same kind of creature Leah and the others were made to destroy, to protect their people from - skipped town one day and never came back. To bring her back to life. To convince her she was _better_ among the living.

"Bella applied for a lot of colleges the year after she graduated, after you were gone," Embry continued. "All of them pretty far away from Washington. She'd go visit them but they were never right, you know? Something always kept her from sending the papers back and actually enrolling in classes. Something always brought her back." Taking a deep breath, Embry's gaze was fixed on the glass in front of them. "It took her a long time to realize what it was...or _who_ it was, but she did. Eventually." He shrugged. "So she went to Peninsula instead, and the rest is history. The rest of it pretty much played out like it was supposed to."

"So she never even tried to leave?" Leah asked, her voice barely audible, curiosity seeping through the words.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Embry shake his head. "She just realized where her life was meant to be. She realized where she was better, and it just happened to be the same place she was the whole time."

Leah swallowed anxiously, following it with a deep breath. "Did any of the others try to leave?"

"No," Embry answered indefinitely. "Almost everyone else has something...or someone...tying them to La Push." He peered at her out of the corner of his eye. "A lot of them imprinted."

Looking away, Leah nodded, clearly remembering the brief conversations when her mother tried to mention it out of some sense of obligation. Never saying it, only when Leah repeatedly told her she didn't want to hear it, knowing full well what her mother was trying to do. To let her know it was happening to the others, too. That she was missing these moments in the lives of her pack brothers by staying away, despite it being the same kind of moment that drove her away from La Push in the first place.

Still, this time, she took a breath and asked.

"Who?"

It was all she needed to say for Embry to understand, and when he responded, she kept her stare focused on anything but him.

"Well, you know about Jared and Kim, since they happened first," Embry replied. "But after you left, it happened to Paul, too." He chuckled, trying to deflect from the hesitant tone of his voice. "Quil was after him."

When he fell silent, Leah nodded, trying to understand. Noticing how it didn't elicit the same kind of anger and regret it did listening to Embry mention it again. She hated the math on it, though - just how many of her pack brothers had actually imprinted. Still, the reminder didn't feel like a punch to the gut. Not like it usually did.

Regardless, it didn't make her hate the idea any less. What it meant. What it cost those if happened to, whether they knew it or not.

"And, like you already know, Seth has Grace," Embry pressed on, the words laced with a heaviness Leah didn't miss. "And Jake's alpha now, and with the business, with Bella, the baby, his dad...his entire life is in La Push."

"Mom did tell me about that," Leah admitted quietly. "About Jake...taking over the pack." She focused on Lake Shore Drive again, chewing on the inside of her lip. Ignoring how she thought maybe she was about to take things too far. She'd spent so much time blocking _his_ name from her head, doing everything she could to banish the memories and forget about what caused it all in the beginning.

Still, another part of her - a larger, more masochistic part - wanted to know how it would feel to say it that time, consequences be damned.

"What made Sam give it up?"

It was easier than before...

Still, it chilled her skin, and she swore she could hear Embry swallow, even beneath all the white noise enveloping them.

He took a ragged breath. "Sam wanted other things…"

"Like what?" Leah murmured, her voice steady and overly confident, even for her. She took a step closer to Embry before she even realized her feet moved, her eyes watching him. Imploring. "You remember what I told you last night…" She caught his gaze, the words more of a statement than a question. "I'm asking, and it's not just for the hell of it. I want you to tell me these things if I do, Embry."

Leah couldn't explain the small smile that pulled at the corner of Embry's mouth. She held onto it anyway, keeping the sincerity in her eyes. Counting on the honesty in his.

"To get married," Embry finally said, cautiously holding her eyes. Refusing to look away. "To start a family." Lips parting, he watched Leah for a moment, searching hers for any sign he'd said too much.

It was the answer she expected, and it still hurt like hell - to hear the words spoken out loud, to know it was a future that had once belonged to her. One she had trusted blindly but lost without a choice. Still, she needed Embry to grab the edge of the bandage. She needed his help ripping it off, knowing the wound wouldn't heal if she didn't give it some air. Knowing the conversation they were having was only a continuation of so many they'd had before. Knowing he would do what he could to soothe it all once he did.

"That," Embry's voice broke the silence once again, "and his heart just wasn't in it anymore. How he handled it...when you left...did a lot of damage to the pack. It broke a lot of bonds he could never really repair."

Blinking frantically at Embry's admission, Leah's breath caught in her throat, a part of her still not used to hearing it. How her leaving affected the others. She'd never given it much thought, both in the beginning and over the years. How her departure would affect the dynamic of the pack. Frankly, at one point, she hadn't cared.

But like always, hearing Embry say it was different. Taking a moment to consider it - how persistent Embry was, how confident he was in his decision to stick by her - she wanted to know more. She wanted to know if the others had possibly felt the same way.

She suddenly wanted to ask him all the questions swirling through her brain, but she didn't, pursing her lips and keeping the words in her mouth. Possibly saving them for another time.

What he had told her was enough, and a larger part of her didn't want to talk about Sam. She didn't want to hear any more.

"What about Brady and Collin?" Leah changed the subject quickly. "Seth told me they phased after I left. They never imprinted?"

Beside her, Embry made an annoyed noise in his throat. "No, they didn't. Not yet, at least. But that's probably a good thing. They're still pretty young...getting into trouble. Enjoying all the perks that come with what we are, and not being the thirteen and fourteen-year-old kids they were when they first joined us..."

Leah couldn't help the grin she flashed the window in front of her. "Have a little trouble keeping it in their pants, do they?"

"Yeah...you could say that," Embry laughed.

Once the words dissipated between them, Leah pulled in a deep breath, once again turning her gaze toward him. Finding him pensively watching some unknown point on the Chicago streets below them.

"What about you?" she murmured, a part of her already knowing the answer to the question she was about to ask. "There's nothing tying you to La Push. Why'd you stick around?"

Lips parting, Embry's head lowered, buying himself some time for a reason that was lost on Leah. Still, she waited, watching as he lifted his face toward her.

"It's my home...the only place I've ever really belonged, and the pack…" He paused, his eyes finding hers, "..._all_ of it...is the only family I've ever really had."

Leah understood, knowing what she knew about Embry and knowing what his mother was like during a time when he simply needed someone to understand. Knowing it wasn't far from the truth when he said those words. Recognizing that fierce sense of loyalty she felt at one point, too, and remembering how she and the others had been more of a family to him than his own blood.

Sighing, she crossed her arms in front of her. "So it was just me, huh?"

"What do you mean?'

Leah swallowed. "That left."

She didn't miss it when Embry's shoulder lightly brushed hers. "Everyone understood why, Leah…"

"Did they?" She turned her head that time, eyes wide. Clouded with disbelief and an honest need to know when Embry finally looked back. "Did they understand why I came here? Why I didn't want to be found?"

"Most of them think it was because of what happened," Embry admitted, his face despondent but his eyes still looking directly into hers. "I never showed them what you said to me in the truck after, or in your kitchen. I didn't think you'd want them to know."

Leah turned away, pulling her arms tighter around her. "It wouldn't have mattered," she said softly, "but maybe it would have. Probably not, though, since I did everything I could to keep from being found, and even if what I think is true...even if you weren't the only one who wanted me to come back...there was a _reason_ I didn't want to be found, Embry."

She could feel the words bubbling in her throat, the tightness in her chest pushing each one out. Urging her to speak, even if Embry hadn't asked to hear it.

"There was a reason I _threatened_ my family...I told them they'd _never_ see me again if they ever breathed a word to any of you."

Leah ignored the startled wince as it flashed across Embry's features, disappearing as quickly as it came. Despite how it brought a latent shame inside her dangerously close to the surface.

"Yeah, a part of it...was because of Sam," she stammered, her voice thick. "How he made me believe I wasn't wanted...how I believed I wasn't worth anything." The words were heavy from years of sitting in her chest, trapped by a heart that refused to give them the time of day. That refused to feel them. To let them out.

"And a bigger part of it was not being able to face Emily and what I did to her," Leah conceded quietly. "But mostly it was because of _why_ it happened...what I was, and knowing I didn't want to be a part of that life anymore. It caused me to hurt people...it hurt _me_ and took away all my choices." She sucked in a ragged breath. "I paid a high price for that life, and I didn't fucking want it anymore, so once I got where I was going...once I got here...I didn't want to be part of a life that took things from people. To be a part of a life I couldn't control."

She could hear Embry swallow next to her. "Did you find that here?" he whispered.

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth to fight an ironic smile, Leah fixed her gaze on the sprawling city dozens of stories below them. "No matter what happened...no matter how fucked up it made me...I was in control of this. Everything I did here I did because I _chose_ to."

Embry didn't respond, even when he moved closer to her, Leah's eyes closing inherently when she felt his arm slip gently around her waist. Pulling her toward him, she instinctively felt her body relax, a heavy breath escaping her lungs. Once again making her feel like it was okay. To lay it all out. To answer his questions.

She could feel his mouth, moving softly against her hair.

"It's okay to want that, Leah," he reassured, his breath warm. "I get it, but you can't control everything in your life. That's not how it works."

Leah took a deep breath, one arm loosening its hold on herself. Moving down until she felt her hand cover the one Embry held against her hip. "I know," she admitted, "but it's hard to believe it. It's hard for _me_ to trust it and let myself rely on anyone _but_ me, even now, because that's all I allowed myself to do...for a long time." She held her breath that time, tipping her head up. Feeling Embry pull back until she was looking into those ebony eyes, finding some kind of strength and reassurance in them. Helping her say what she wanted to say.

To speak more words she wasn't sure how to before.

"But then you showed up."

She could see the smile pulling at his lips, but she averted her gaze, knowing she wasn't finished. "You showed up and you fucked it all up," she murmured with a subtle laugh, her tone laced with a lightheartedness despite the underlying meaning. Hiding her own smile as she turned away. "I feel like I haven't been in control of anything since you got here, and it's freaked me out. It's _still_ freaking me out." Shaking her head, Leah kept her gaze focused on the floor. "That's why I fought you so hard at first, because you made me question _everything_. You made me _remember_ everything…and I didn't want to. Not at first..."

"Leah…" Embry's grip around her waist tightened.

"Hear me out," she insisted firmly, interrupting him. The smile gone from her lips, she glanced back at him to see his brows pulled low over his eyes. Both clouded with that same intense commitment that, in a single breath, both comforted and scared the shit out of her.

"I don't know what this is. I have no idea what we're doing or what the hell is going to happen or if I'm ever gonna fix everything I need to. I don't fucking know _anything_ anymore and the thing is...I think it's okay, because I still feel _better_," she conceded quietly, unable to look away from Embry. "Better than I have in years. Maybe it's because you're here...maybe it's because I can admit it to myself finally...that maybe I _need_ parts of that life. I can't explain it, but...I think it's because somehow, you remind me of what was _good_ about it...and I _want _that. I want to remember...why sometimes, it _was_ worth it."

Shoulders rising and falling with a deep, languid breath, Embry shifted. Turning his body toward her, Leah never let go of those eyes when she felt both hands on her cheeks. A part of her not wanting to close her own, even though she did when he bent down, pressing his lips to hers. Tenderly. Once, twice, three times.

Too gentle, but Leah couldn't find it in herself to argue.

She couldn't help but smile against his mouth, fingers brushing against his waist when he finally pulled away.

"Keep reminding me…"

She could feel _his_ smile, one that matched hers, when he closed the tiny bit of space between them. Kissing her again.

"Just...don't stop." Her eyes were still closed when Embry straightened, and she could feel his lips on the crown of her head. "Because so long as you don't, I think I'll remember everything I just told you...and I think I can do this. I really think I can."

Embry's breath pushed through the strands of hair on top of her head. "I know you can…"

Finally drawing air into her lungs, Leah opened her eyes. Glancing up at Embry to see him still watching her, a look of pride and a million other emotions swirling through his. Blinking, she eventually let her gaze fall, looking back toward the window. Watching as twilight descended on the city.

_I want to remember…_

_Why sometimes, it was worth it._

"Wanna get going?"

Embry's voice pulled her from her thoughts. Looking back to him, she nodded, a new kind of knot already forming in her stomach when he smiled at her. When he turned to go, expecting her to follow.

But she didn't, the words falling from her lips before she could stop them.

"Shit. Hey, Em?"

He stopped, eyebrows lifting expectantly when he turned to face her.

Leah's face screwed up, her mouth suddenly dry. Her heart suddenly pounding against her ribs. "I need to call Autumn really quick and check on something for morning. I'll catch up."

Embry glanced toward the exit, where others were sifting in and out of the observatory. "You want me to wait for you?"

Offering him the best unalarming smile she could muster, she shook her head. "No, it's okay. I won't be long. Go grab us a taxi and I'll be down in a minute, okay?"

Embry hesitated for a moment, his expression unconcerned despite the pause. Finally, he nodded.

"Okay."

Feet rooted to the floor, Leah's gaze fixed on the back of Embry's head as she watched him go. As his tall frame disappeared around the corner. She still didn't move, waiting a handful of moments just to make sure he wouldn't come back.

Letting out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, Leah wiped her clammy hands on her shorts before letting one travel behind her. Trembling fingers wrapped around the cell phone in her pocket, pulling it out.

Holding her breath again, she turned, leaden feet carrying her in the same direction Embry went. Toward the elevators, except when she reached her destination, she kept walking, approaching the doorway near it. Hand reaching out, she turned the knob, stepping over the threshold.

The door clicked shut behind her, shutting Leah in an empty stairwell. The sound signifying something else. Another step.

Letting her know the time she spent running...the time she spent hiding from _this_...had finally run out.

Chest tight, Leah took a couple steps forward, pulling what little air she could into her burning lungs. Collapsing on the landing, she rested her elbows on her thighs, holding her phone between both hands. Staring holes through the lit screen.

Her fingers refusing to hesitate…

Surrendering control as her thumbs moved instinctively over numbers she knew by heart. Over numbers she never forgot.

Putting the phone up to her ear, Leah's pulse pounded when she heard the first ring.

The phone shook in her hand by the second.

She couldn't breathe by the third.

But when she heard a click in the middle of the fourth ring - when several agonizingly long moments of silence passed without a word - that same heart ceased to beat altogether.

_Refusing_ to until she heard a deep breath that wasn't hers, gathering its own courage, followed by a voice she hadn't heard in so fucking long. _Too_ long.

A voice belonging to someone else who maybe could help her remember. Who could remind her this just might be worth it.

"_Leah?"_

She gripped the phone tighter, fingers no longer shaking. Unable to explain the burning in her eyes.

Instead, Leah smiled.

"Hey, Seth."

* * *

**AN: So I kind of freaking loved this chapter. Hope you guys did too. Had the ending planned all along! ;) **

**Thoughts on it?**

**Also, sorry about the delay in posting...again. I came this close to putting this story on a temporary hiatus because since my last update, I actually got laid off from my job. BUT, because I'm apparently not meant for unemployment, I already have a new one, which I start next week. :D So this show will go on! Thank you all for your immense patience. Hopefully I have my head back now. :)**


	14. Unexpected

_****__****__****__****__****__****__****____**Disclaimer: **__All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "Myth" by Beach House, "High Hopes" by Kodaline, "Slow" by Grouplove, "Trembling Hands" by The Temper Trap, "Perfect Darkness" by Fink**_

His concentration completely shot, Embry closed the lid of his laptop with a little too much force, releasing a heavy sigh.

Leaning forward at his desk, Embry glanced at the bright red numbers of the digital clock. He'd spent almost the entire day working, going over last-minute contracts and paperwork before the signing on Wednesday. Mostly, though, he tried to stay occupied. Distracted. At one point, he even relocated to the same coffeehouse he'd went the morning before.

But he couldn't keep his eyes off the damn clock.

He was uneasy. On edge, even if he couldn't explain why.

Still, a part of him knew. He wanted to call Leah. Wanted to text her. Wanted to do _something _other than sit where he was, wasting time and simply waiting.

Pushing his hands through his hair, it was all too clear. Everything inside him ached to see her again, an unsettling urgency buzzing through his veins. He wanted her there, as much as she could be.

But it was Monday and she was still at work. No matter what had happened between them over the weekend, she was living a life she still had, regardless of it all.

Staring at the closed laptop several inches in front of him, Embry swallowed thickly, another part of him knowing why he felt the way he did.

Remembering that two thousand miles away, there was another life waiting.

_His._

Fuck, he was in too deep. Drowning...

_And he didn't want it any other way._

Closing his eyes, Embry clasped his hands together, pressing them to his mouth. Two nights earlier, it had taken everything inside him to stop, every cell in his body - every instinct he carried within - fighting it. Remembering how Leah looked beneath him. How her eyes fluttered closed, how her skin glistened in the moonlight. How her chest heaved with breaths she couldn't catch.

Embry shuddered, the memory of it enough to bring it all back to the surface. Every moment filling him wholly.

It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done - to not let the animal inside him dominate it all. To give _into _it all - that feral urge to take. To claim what he wanted as his.

He'd come close to making that mistake with her once, and remembering it only reminded him of what he'd seen. What he'd _felt _during a time when it finally meant so much more.

She wanted it. She wanted _him_.

She wanted it _all_, every part of her drawing him in in the best possible ways. Encouraging him. The heavy veil of lust and _safety _in her eyes. The heady, potent shift in her scent. The way her body responded beneath his hands. His mouth. The way she surrendered herself to him. Beckoning.

Silently pleading him to take every piece of her.

But he pushed it away. He buried that part of him in a deep corner because no matter how much he wanted it - no matter how much _she _did - he wanted something else more.

He wanted it to be _different_.

Embry couldn't forget what led up to it, how Leah had opened up to him in a way she never had before. She'd willingly shown him a vulnerability and regret he knew rested just beneath the surface.

How even then, she thought it was all too far gone to be fixed.

That _she _was too far gone to be fixed.

So no matter what, it meant too much. Even though her eyes had cried out to him, the same way they had since that night he ran into her at the bar, he knew what she was doing. Bringing it to the surface. Letting it go.

Trusting him, in the only way she knew how.

Those eyes held him captive, reminding him of what he needed to do. What he needed to prove.

To keep showing her how she was worth it all. All the kisses. All the moments.

All the time in the world...

It only pulled him in deeper.

God, he'd wanted to ask her to stay - the night before, after the day they spent together. Especially after what she said to him at the observatory, but he also didn't want to push it. Once again, he had to remind himself to be patient.

_Patient_.

She hadn't stayed, and another night had passed. Which meant it was Monday, and he would leave in less than three days.

Three days was all he had.

Three days until he left.

_Less than a month until Seth's wedding…_

Reminding him there was very little time for patience, but wildly hoping it would be enough.

That maybe he'd have a lifetime after if he could only help her through the first two.

With another sigh, Embry opened his eyes, trying to ignore the fire in his gut at the thought of it. The sinking feeling in his chest, knowing his mind was running away with itself. Hating that there were no guarantees past the days he had left. All of it threatened to knock him down, yet somehow fueled his determination in the same ragged breath.

_Then you better make it fucking count..._

Pushing his chair back, Embry stood, pulling in one calming breath after another. A frown pulled on his lips as he scanned the room for his absent cell phone, needing to find it. A part of him wanting to send that text anyway just so she knew, his feet carrying him toward the jeans he was wearing the night before, still lying in a pile near his suitcase.

His legs ceasing to move when he heard a loud, determined knock on his door.

Eyebrows scrunching in confusion, Embry glanced toward the door before his eyes pulled back to the clock, realizing it was only a few minutes later than the last time he looked. Wondering if maybe it was possible Leah got off work early and he simply hadn't heard his phone ring.

Taking another breath, Embry moved, crossing the distance between the door and where he stood. A small smile crossing his lips as he reached for the door handle, something inside him churned in anticipation as he turned it.

All of it disappearing the moment he opened the door.

All of it replaced with something else when he saw who was standing on the other side.

All the breath leaving him, replaced with a heavy dread - an infallible fear - when the other person stared back at him expectantly, a knowing brow lifting high above one eye.

"You know, you wouldn't be so surprised to see me if you actually answered your damn phone."

* * *

"Wednesday sounds great. No - thank _you_. See you at three."

Once she heard the click on the opposite end of the line, Leah hung up her phone. Releasing a puff of breath, she leaned forward in her chair, elbows pressing against the glass surface of her desk. The call ending a timeout from the thoughts she wasn't able to turn off. Ones that started with another phone call the night before.

Pressing her lips into a thin line, Leah clasped her hands in front of her mouth. Remembering…

_Listening to the silence on the other end of her cell phone, the smile on Leah's lips threatened to disappear the longer it she held it. Chest tight, eyes still burning, Leah waited. Clenching her fist against her cheek, she wondered - if Seth was going to say something. If he was going to hang up on her._

_If he was going to tell her that maybe this was all a mistake and maybe she acted too quickly._

_But she swallowed it down, trying to remember what Embry told her before, when he assured her she might be surprised when it came to her brother. That he might want to hear from her more than she thought._

_As much as she wished it would have been him calling her, she knew it was half her fault, too - how long it had been. Why so many words went unsaid. Why maybe he felt like reaching out to her was no longer an option._

_She wanted to make it right..._

_Leah drew in a deep breath, blaming Seth's silence on anything but what she thought it might be._

_She spoke again, saying the only thing she could think of in that moment._

"_I...I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"_

_Fuck, she hated it - how unfamiliar the words sounded. How she was speaking to her a brother like a stranger. Like an acquaintance she hadn't seen in years…_

_Her stomach twisted, and she had to remind herself it _had_ been that long. _

_Leah's thoughts were interrupted when Seth sucked in a deep breath._

"_Umm...no, you're fine. I was actually just on my way out."_

"_Do you want me to let you go?" Leah held her breath. _

"_No...no, that's okay," Seth replied, his voice shaky despite taking no time to say the words. "I'm...uh, I'm glad you called. I was gonna call you actually."_

_Leah swallowed thickly, the burning back in the corners of her eyes. Her chest suddenly feeling a million times lighter. "You were?"_

"_Yeah," Seth admitted sheepishly, and Leah couldn't help but smile at the way he said it - quietly, laced with a characteristic hint of embarrassment. Spoken in a way that was so familiar. "But you, uh...you beat me to it. I, um...actually have some news."_

_Holding her breath, Leah thought carefully about her words before she spoke them. Already knowing what he was going to tell her, she wanted to hear him say it. Wanted to let him tell her himself, the way Embry had wanted. The way Seth was supposed to._

"_Oh, yeah?" she whispered, her voice cracking slightly through parted lips._

"_Yeah...unless Mom already told you…"_

_Leah shook her head, even though he couldn't see her. "No, I haven't talked to her…"_

"_Oh," Seth murmured, "okay, well...that's good, I guess. I didn't really want her to be the one to tell you, and...I swear I was gonna call you sooner, it's just...I wasn't sure how to tell you, and I didn't want to make you mad or upset you, so...just don't get mad, okay?"_

_Leah grimaced, knowing her brother had no idea what she'd been through the past several days. The realizations she'd made - the barriers that were falling - were lost on him because he didn't know. His words cut deep, reminding her of the person she'd been not that long before. What she did and what she'd said to him to make him believe they were necessary to say._

_Closing her eyes, Leah could feel a searing tear squeeze its way from her eye, leaving a trail as it traveled down her cheek. Taking a deep breath, she brought up one hand, swiping it away._

"_I won't be mad, Seth."_

_There was another moment of silence. Leah covered the mouthpiece as she sniffled loudly, unable to control how her body was reacting to it all. A mixture of sadness, relief, and an overwhelming joy she didn't recognize, somehow finding a way out._

_She pressed the phone harder to her ear the moment Seth took a ragged breath of his own. _

"_I'm getting married."_

_She wasn't sure where the rest of the tears came from or why there were so many of them, but Leah found herself unable to see, everything in her field of vision blurred as the moisture gathered frantically in her eyes. Still, she held her breath. Still, she smiled. _

"_That's...great," she whispered. "I'm happy for you."_

_Seth paused, almost like he didn't believe her, and Leah didn't miss it. _

"_Really?"_

_She nodded anyway, running her fingers over the spots of moisture on her shorts, marking where the tears had fallen from her chin. _

"_Yeah," she murmured. "What's her name?"_

"_Grace."_

_Her lower lip quivering violently, Leah tucked it between her teeth to stop it, brushing another trail of moisture from her face as more words formed on her tongue. Things she needed to ask despite the time that had passed. Despite how estranged she felt from the person on the other side of the phone and how much it both killed and helped her to hear his voice._

"_Is she nice? Is she good to you?"_

"_She is," Seth said softly. "I think you'd like her…"_

_Staring at her knees, Leah smiled. A part of her wanted to remind him she was still his big sister and deep down, no girl would ever be good enough for him._

_But she didn't, unable to feel like she was in a place to say it. Not yet._

_She swallowed past the words in her throat. "I'm sure I would…"_

_She could hear Seth moving around on the other end of the line. "Listen, Lee, I need to run…"_

_Chest tightening, Leah clutched the phone tighter, her stomach leaping. A part of her searched for some way to keep him on the line. To keep him talking. To draw this out, too. Because regardless of the fact he picked up the phone and decided to talk to her, Leah couldn't help but think if she let him go, she wouldn't hear her brother's voice again._

"_Seth…" Her voice was barely audible._

_He pretended not to hear her. "Before I go, though, I just...it's been a long time, I know that, and...I want to talk more, I do," Seth pushed out hurriedly, a sincerity Leah recognized buried deep in his voice, "but...I want you to come to the wedding. It's the last weekend of the month. We're gonna get married on the beach, and...I know how you feel about...everything, but...Grace wants you to be a part of it, and I want you to be there, if you can."_

_A fresh stream of tears cascaded down her cheeks. She swore silently to herself, but the smile still rested on Leah's lips. It wouldn't go away, despite his question. Despite the fact there was no way she could give him a definite answer to it. Wanting to, but not knowing if she was ready for it - to see him. To see her mother. To see everyone else._

_To face them all. To face _everything_ she left behind in order to do what her brother asked._

_To go _home_._

_Leah's lips parted, but not a single word came out._

"_And...if you can't, well...I'll understand." _

_She could hear his voice wavering beneath his resolve, confirming a part of him deep down didn't really mean it. That despite everything and how long it had been, he didn't want her to say no. _

_The realization reached into her, stealing the breath from her lungs and twisting her insides. Forcing the tears to fall harder._

_One small word formed on her tongue._

_One word…. _

_But she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried to push it out._

"_Just let me know, okay?"_

_Leah took a deep breath, losing what she was going to say to his request, even though she knew there was no way she'd forget about it. All the struggle inside her and every day she'd spent imagining what it would feel like crystal clear in the only word she _could _give him._

"_Okay."_

_Seth sighed. "Alright, well...I'll talk to you later, Leah." He paused. "It was good to hear your voice."_

_The line went dead, the only noise in the stairwell the sound of Leah's labored breaths and her pulse pounding in her ears._

Leah opened her eyes, the edges of the memory receding into the corners of her mind.

Seth said more to her than she could have hoped. All the theories she'd had a year to dream up and all the worst-case scenarios went away each time she recycled his end of the conversation, every word on a constant loop in some part of her head.

It was a short conversation. Not much was said, but he didn't turn her away. He said what was necessary, and he hadn't told her to never call him again.

In fact, he'd done the exact opposite.

He'd asked her to come home.

It was a question she'd heard him speak several times before, but never like this. Maybe she was imagining it, but she couldn't help but feel there was a hint of finality to the words. That he was trying to make her see it would be the _last _time he would ask. That there wouldn't be another request following it.

That maybe it was his way of knowing something without actually knowing it...

That maybe he was trying to tell her it was now or never.

It wasn't the first time she'd felt it in the days leading up to that moment. It took her several minutes in the stairwell to pull herself together, including a trip to the bathroom to wash the tear stains off rosy cheeks. Watching herself in the mirror, she pulled in deep breath after deep breath until she knew she could hold herself together long enough to travel the dozens of floors and walk onto the street outside, knowing who would be waiting when she did.

When her feet hit the pavement outside the building, she immediately spotted Embry, his eyes already on her. As he leaned against the open door of the taxi, she tried to ignore the worry on Embry's face. Tried to focus on something other than the concern in his eyes when she crossed the distance separating them.

Finally reaching the cab, her feet stopped, finally meeting Embry's gaze the same time she felt the warmth of his fingertips trace the length of her arm.

"You okay?" he murmured.

Swallowing hard, she nodded, gIving him the most genuine smile she could to soothe whatever was left of his anxiety.

"Yeah, let's go."

She couldn't tell Embry - not yet, regardless of the fact she knew he'd be more than pleased she'd done it. That he'd be proud of her because she took that step. Fuck, she was proud of _herself _and no matter what, that fact wasn't lost on her. She knew how big it was, what she'd done. How she'd swallowed back so much to let her fingers dial that number and knowing full well that Embry was one of the largest reasons she was able to.

Still, even when they went their separate ways later that night, she told herself she'd made the right choice by not saying anything. She needed a moment, one where the answer Seth wanted - where the answer _Embry _more than likely wanted - wouldn't constantly be staring back at her in a pair of familiar ebony eyes.

So she tucked it all away, keeping it for later until she was forced to give Seth's question the attention she knew it deserved. The time she knew it would take to know for sure...

If going home was something she really could do.

A soft knock on her door pulled Leah out of her own head, her gaze snapping toward the door. Remembering to breathe, her eyes fell on Autumn, who was leaning against the doorframe. Eyes wide, a small smile played on her lips.

"You looked like you were about a million miles away there," she ventured quietly, adjusting her glasses.

Smiling, Leah shook her head slightly to clear it. "I was," she admitted. "Sorry." Leaning back in her chair, Leah crossed one leg over the other and raised an eyebrow in Autumn's direction. "Everything going alright today?"

Autumn released a dramatic sigh, pushing off the doorframe and treading into the office. "Well, I suppose that depends on your definition of alright," she speculated, eyes focused on the ceiling as she shrugged, "because I heard a rumor today. A rumor about a certain boss of mine who apparently likes to keep secrets from her favorite assistant."

Leah gaped at Autumn, unsure of what she was talking about. "And what rumor did you hear, Autumn?"

Gaze lowering to meet Leah's, Autumn crossed her arms in front of her. "Oh, just a little one. No big deal," she replied, feigning nonchalance, but Leah noticed the shift the moment Autumn stepped forward. When her serious expression disappeared completely, a wide grin and bright eyes taking its place. "Just that you got a promotion and failed to mention it to me!"

_Her promotion. _

The one she was offered only two days earlier but hadn't , she'd almost forgotten about it, the news obscured by everything that happened in the hours following it.

Leah swallowed anxiously, silently wondering how it was possible Autumn seemed more excited about it than she was.

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Please," Autumn scoffed, rolling her eyes playfully. "I'm an assistant. One of many here, and assistants know everything. It's like a secret society in this firm."

"Remind me never to talk about my life in the break room again," Leah muttered, raising her eyebrows in Autumn's direction..

"So?" Autumn queried, ignoring Leah and her miserable attempts to deflect from the subject.

"So, what?"

Autumn groaned. "Are you gonna take it?" She glowered at Leah, lips parted expectantly. "Please tell me you're gonna take it."

Leah left one eyebrow up. "Do you say that because you're genuinely interested in me taking the position or because it means mine will open up for you?"

Grin fading a little, Autumn's shoulders lifted and fell with a despondent breath. "Well, if we're being honest? Both." Leah bit her lip to keep from smiling, knowing deep down Autumn was just as ambitious as Leah was a few years earlier. "But of course I want you to take it," Autumn pressed. "You're a rock star here, Leah. If anyone has earned it, you have. It's well-deserved, and I say that not just as your assistant, but as your friend, too."

Friend.

It was a word Leah had fought for a long time. One she wasn't interested in, regardless of who was extending it. Autumn had tried for the better part of a year to convince Leah she was worth befriending. That she could be trusted - that Leah could talk to her - but Leah was never interested.

Still, the way Autumn was standing in front of her - a tangible sincerity written all over her features - Leah suddenly recognized it in a way she'd never taken the time to notice it before. The gleam in her eye. The softness in her face.

It almost took her breath away, giving her a moment to think about it.

Where she'd seen that look before.

And she could feel a different kind of warmth bloom somewhere inside her. Reinforcing Autumn's constant gestures of friendship. Causing Leah's lips to part, releasing a reply she would not have less than a week earlier.

"Well, I haven't accepted it yet," she admitted, noticing how Autumn took a step forward, her hand gripping the back of the chair in front of Leah's desk.

"How come?" Autumn asked softly. "I figured that would be a no-brainer for you."

Leah shrugged, tightening her grip on the armrests of her chair. "It's a big move. A lot more responsibility, and I just want to make sure I'm..._ready_ for it before I take it. That I know it's what I want."

Rolling her eyes in disbelief, Autumn made a disapproving noise in her throat. "You? Not ready? I doubt that." She moved to the side of the chair, eyeing Leah warily as one brow lifted in curiosity. "Couldn't have anything to do with your friend from home who showed up here on Thursday looking for you...could it?"

Grimacing, Leah shook her head wildly.

Even if she couldn't ignore the fact her heart leapt into the back of her throat the moment Autumn suggested it.

"No," Leah responded firmly. "We're just friends."

Autumn's eyebrows went back up, causing her glasses to slide down her nose. "Really?" She pushed the glasses back up with her index finger. "Coulda fooled me."

Leah rolled her eyes, ignoring how she was smiling. Ignoring that familiar warmth curling its way through her insides. The way her body responded to Autumn's insinuations. By simply alluding to Embry…

Taking a deep breath, Leah forced her face to relax, taking the smile with it. "Well, I promise you, Autumn, if I take the job, which I'm sure I will...you'll be one of the first to know," she assured. "Then you can spread your own rumors next time."

"Damn right," Autumn chuckled, taking a step back. "And you better believe I'm applying for your job, so I'll expect a glowing recommendation from you, not to mention a long line of tips and tricks as soon as you get done writing that. You know, tell me how I can charm Wes and John into thinking I'd do a fraction of the job you do..." With a wink, she turned to go.

Leah leaned forward in her chair, elbows hitting the smooth glass.

Letting the rest of what she wanted to say tumble from her lips.

"However…"

Stopping, Autumn peered over her shoulder, hand gripping the door frame.

"Maybe I can start prepping you now," Leah suggested, offering the other woman a reserved smile. "Lunch this weekend?"

Autumn's grin returned, brighter than Leah had seen it in awhile.

"That would be awesome."

* * *

The small pizza box was hot beneath Leah's fingers as she pushed out the door of Giordano's onto the busy street. Turning right, she started the short trek to the Park Hyatt, the heady smell of marinara and pepperoni drifting up from the sturdy, cardboard container. Making Leah's mouth water when it eventually reached her nostrils.

A small smile crossing her lips, Leah quickened her pace toward her destination.

The rest of her work day had went by quickly, and as she watched the clock on her laptop move closer to six, she decided once she sent the day's last email that she didn't want to go home. She had a million things to do, forgotten errands piling up from more than a week's worth of turning a blind eye to them.

Still, a part of her didn't care. It was the same part that prompted her to lean forward in her chair, purposeful fingers reaching for her cell phone on the desk. Sweeping over the keypad as she typed in a quick message before sending it.

_Up for some company tonight? Was thinking pizza…_

It was fifteen minutes before she left the office, but her phone remained silent. Tucking it into her purse, she tried not to think about it when she left the building. Hopping into a taxi, she instructed the driver where to take her, trying not to jump to conclusions. Checking her phone several times on the short drive to the pizza place.

Even when the taxi driver left her on the sidewalk outside Giordano's, she still hadn't heard back from Embry.

Squaring her shoulders, Leah reached for a confidence she knew she had within. Reminding herself that despite the silence, she and Embry were probably past the point of personal invitations and needing permission anyway. Telling herself he'd appreciate the surprise, especially if it came with dinner.

Several minutes later, Leah was standing in front of Embry's hotel room door, clasping the pizza box tighter against her body. She could hear him moving around inside, and that knowledge alone soothed the small bit of latent anxiety she'd allowed to build in the pit of her stomach.

Swallowing the last ounce of it back, Leah held her breath - a different kind of nervousness assaulting her insides - when she brought her fist up, knocking lightly on the door.

The footsteps ceased, and Leah still refused to breathe. Counting the seconds before she heard the faint shuffling resume, moving closer to the where she stood.

Rising up and down on the balls of her feet, Leah could feel the heat from the pizza soaking through through the box and into her skin. A small smile spread across her lips when the handle finally turned, her eyes lifting when the door opened swiftly.

The way Embry looked when he realized it was her enough to make her take a small step back.

"Leah…" he whispered, his eyes inexplicably wide. Unnervingly blank. His lips still parted in dismay long after her name fell from them.

"Hey," she said, forcing the smile to stay on her face. Trying to push down how much the way he was looking at her brought back that anxiety, banishing all the confidence she'd drawn from on her walk there.

Like she was the last person he expected to be on the other side of the door.

Like she was the last person he _wanted_ to be standing there.

Her skin went cold, letting her eyes sweep over his tense frame, reaching his when he finally glanced down at the box she held in her hands.

"So, I, uh...I brought pizza," she added quickly, words fumbling as she remembered to speak, moving the box in front of her. "Giordano's. You haven't really eaten pizza until you've had theirs."

Embry tried to smile, but there was something missing on his expression. The warmth wasn't there. His eyes were apprehensive as they studied the box. His fingers trembling as he finally reached out to take it from her. Without a word, he took a couple steps back, placing the box on a surface Leah couldn't see.

_Still not inviting her in._

Frowning in spite of herself, she tried to ignore how heavy her insides suddenly felt. How her stomach was already turning, despite Embry barely speaking a word.

He shifted, quickly moving back to the door, his gaze catching hers. Both eyes were dark with an insistence that hadn't been there before.

"Can you come back later?"

Shaking her head without really understanding why, Leah gaped at him, searching his face for a reason behind the odd request. How it didn't really make sense and wondering if maybe showing up at his door unannounced was taking it too far. That maybe it was a bad idea…

"_Please…_"

Embry's voice was practically a whisper, his arm propped against the doorframe, body leaning heavily against it. Blocking her view of the room behind him.

Still, she didn't move. She _couldn't_ move as she watched him, refusing to speak. Searching for some kind of explanation because she could still see something in his eyes. A desperation. A desire to keep her there, although something else - something stronger - was begging her to walk away.

Pulling in a deep breath, she listened instead, counting heartbeats for some inexplicable reason. The one suddenly pounding in her ears. The nervous, frenetic pulse just a few inches away…

And a third one. A distant one.

One coming from behind Embry. From behind a wall, or maybe a closed door.

As Leah realized, for the first time, Embry wasn't the only person in his hotel room.

Her insides turned cold.

Gaze turning toward Embry, hard, skeptical eyes locked with his. Beneath the cold, she could feel that burning deep within, scratching its way from a place she had put it two nights earlier. Wanting loose. Wanting to consume her the way it did for nearly six years, its edges white-hot, finding her fingers as they curled into tight fists as her sides.

Yet Embry didn't move. He didn't back down, eyes still fixed determinedly on hers.

Still _pleading_ the moment Leah heard a door open. When she heard a voice from inside the hotel room.

"Alright, Em, I'm thinking if we can get all this resolved and sign the papers tomorrow, we'll just…"

The voice stopped.

A _male _voice.

A _familiar_ voice.

_No..._

But the pounding in Leah's chest had already stopped. The heat in her veins receded quicker than it came, leaving her completely frozen in place. Unable to move as her eyes remained on Embry, holding onto them for dear life. Watching all his breath leave him, her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands when Embry stepped forward, the certainty finally back in his eyes. Returning just in time...

_It was still too late._

Leah had to remind herself to breathe when Embry reached out, his fingers grasping her wrist.

Keeping her there. Answering her silent request.

"You can do this," he whispered, the sincerity in his gaze willing her to listen. To remember those words, if nothing else, in the moments that were sure to follow.

Lips parting, Leah shook her head.

She couldn't. She couldn't do this. Not yet.

_Not yet..._

"Oh, shit, is that dinner? I've got some cash, dude..."

The person was closer. The heartbeat grew louder. Leah's eyes closed and she could feel it, brought on by the scent approaching her. By the simple sound of his voice, wrapping itself around her insides. Everything about it commanding her attention. Everything about it _powerful_, appealing to a life and a side of her she no longer claimed.

Everything about it familiar yet so completely different.

_Holding her in place..._

Body trembling viscerally, she opened her eyes in time to see a copper hand curl around Embry's shoulder. Moving him out of the way.

The footsteps stopped. The _heartbeat _stopped. Another pair of eyes went wide.

Eyes - ones that had also seen inside her soul - now staring directly into hers.

"Leah..."

The color drained from Jacob Black's face, his gaze clouded with a fierce disbelief at the woman standing in front of him.

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**AN: Plot twist! **

**Before you (may or may not) throw rotten tomatoes at me, I HAVE A PLAN. :)**

**Can't wait to hear your thoughts!**


	15. Different

_****__****__****__****__****__****__****____**Disclaimer: **__All publicly recognizable characters, s____ettings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_AN: Hopefully that update was quick enough? In case it wasn't, this chapter is a monster. Like, an 11,700-word monster, so make sure you set aside a little time to read. ;)_

* * *

_**Suggested Listening: "A Rush of Blood to the Head" by Coldplay, "Oats in the Water" by Ben Howard, "Nothing to Remember" by Neko Case, "Tomorrow" by Daughter, "Drift" by Daughter, "Atlas" by Coldplay**_

Leah's hands curled into fists, unable to look away as Jacob gaped at her, a million different emotions swirling through his onyx eyes.

Blinking rapidly, she could only watch as he shook his head in disbelief. She could only stand there as he took a step forward.

What she couldn't do was fucking _move_, his stony, unbelieving gaze refusing to let her go.

She didn't think it was possible, but her blood ran colder the longer he stared at her. Skin crawling, everything inside withered beneath it. A part of that look confirming he was still in shock. Another part containing a thousand questions. A flare of anger, a subtle betrayal.

God, she wanted to get out of there. She wanted to disappear. She wanted to do _anything _but stand there and let him look at her like that.

Still, she couldn't move, something stronger holding her in place.

So she held her breath instead. She waited, heart pounding viciously against her ribs.

Several moments passed before Jacob finally allowed himself to look away, glancing at Embry for some kind of an explanation. For answers to whatever questions he held inside his head in that moment.

Embry didn't look back.

Leah felt herself take a step away, finally free from whatever it was that forbid her to move.

And she could feel those ebony eyes watching _her_. Waiting.

Worrying.

Hoping like hell this wouldn't undo _everything_.

Body releasing a rough shudder, she felt her feet take another step.

"Leah…"

That time it was Embry who spoke her name. He took his own step forward, negating hers. Still, it didn't matter. Removed from the moment that held her in place, her head was coming back, putting it all together. Wondering how in the hell Embry failed to mention Jacob was coming to her city. That he would be in his hotel room.

_That he hadn't warned her..._

She could feel so many words on her tongue, pushed forward by the fire in her veins, sweeping away the cold with each passing second.

_So many words…_

But she kept them in her mouth, somehow managing to tear her gaze from Embry's and look at Jacob, whose lips were moving slightly, despite no sound coming out. His own words failing to materialize.

Leah didn't say anything.

Instead, she let the heat inside her rush to where she needed it most, all of it gathering in her legs. The edges of it reached out, causing her eyes to find Embry's. To show him everything she was thinking without a single word.

Another part of her silently begging him to do _something _to keep her there. To prove her wrong, even if she knew deep down it wouldn't make a difference.

It didn't matter. Her feet moved inherently, refusing to wait for permission. Refusing to wait for his reaction, her body shifting, self-preservation winning out.

Turning her back on both of them.

"Leah!"

She could hear Embry's voice behind her, laced with a hint of desperation. She could hear his feet moving across the carpeted hallway, following her.

Fuck, it almost made her stop, a larger part of her screaming to give him the benefit of the doubt. To let him speak. To listen to him.

To let him show her, just like he had every day since he showed up.

To _trust _him.

_To talk to Jacob…_

"Leah, wait!"

Nearing the end of the hallway, the throbbing inside her chest was excruciating. One part demanded she keep going, the other - caused by the voice behind her and a better sense she knew she held somewhere - screamed at her to turn around.

"Leah!"

The voice was different. Stronger. _Not _Embry's, thick with purpose and heavy with an infallible demand.

"Stop."

The decision was made for her.

Leah's feet stopped moving.

Breath catching in her lungs, Leah reached out, hand grasping fruitlessly at the smooth plane of the wall beside her. Feet leaden, the air pushed rapidly past her lips as she willed her legs to move. As she tried to refuse what the other voice asked of her.

She _couldn't_.

With a frustrated groan, Leah slammed her fist against the wall, feet finally moving but only to turn her around. Facing the way she came, her wild glare found Jacob first. It landed on his stoic frame standing in the middle of the hallway, his jaw tight and shoulders squared. Knowing it was his words that stopped her, his eyes uncompromising.

Leah shook her head, hating that even after six years, it was _still _something she had to feel.

That the animal inside her, one she kept contained, was still required to submit to his order.

She was moving before she realized it. Approaching Jacob, her breath spilled from her mouth in rapid gasps, the fire consuming her before she finally reached him.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Jacob Black?" Leah seethed, standing in front of Jacob in little time. Both hands came up, pushing against his chest, despite the fact he didn't budge. "What makes you think that after all this time you can come here and order me around like one of your fucking puppies?"

Jacob swallowed, his frame unyielding despite the conflict in his eyes, one not quite able to mask the haze of questions still needing answers.

He took a deep breath. "You left once and there was nothing I could do to stop you...now I can."

Leah growled, the sound barely masking how she faltered. How she took a surprised step back.

Shaking her head anyway, her lips pulled into a grimace. Unable to argue with what he said, her own stubborn resolve did little to negate the true meaning of the words. Still, she hated how he did it all the same.

"You have no fucking right," she snarled, refusing to release his stare. Projecting her own sincerity through every means she could because no matter how far she had come, that _still _wasn't something she wanted.

"I can't..._do_ this with you right now. Had I known you were here…" Her voice drifted, and Leah turned her stare on Embry, who watched her from a few paces behind Jacob, his chest heaving with suppressed breaths. "I wouldn't have set foot in this hotel."

Embry's face crumpled. Seeing it pulled at something in Leah, that same something she felt when she tried to walk away. As she heard his voice calling for her as she did.

It pulled something from Jacob, too, noticing how he picked up a look in her eyes she wasn't completely aware of. Doing it without asking a single question.

"He didn't know, Leah," Jacob interrupted, taking a step forward, both his stance and his expression softening. As he inwardly figured out he wasn't going to get far with the Alpha tactics he was used to.

Leah blinked in surprise, a part of her taken aback by his words, questioning how in the hell it was possible Embry _didn't _know.

Even though she was unable to ignore the nagging in her gut. The all-too-clear feeling that confirmed she'd known it all along.

"What?"

"He didn't know," Jacob repeated, attempting a smile. Trying to lighten the tension swallowing them whole. "I tried calling him, but the idiot refused to answer his phone."

Ignoring how she trembled, Leah's mind instinctively floated back to the night before. How her eyes watched Embry pull his phone from his pocket, his gaze lingering before he put it back, leaving the call unanswered.

"But you're here, so…" Jacob took another step forward, interrupting her thoughts. His eyes were wide, regarding her like a wild animal. His movements slow, almost like he was trying entirely too hard not to spook her.

_Fuck, she couldn't blame him_...

"Why don't you stay awhile?"

Leah's heart faltered in her chest. There was no order in his voice. No command. The question was exactly that - a question. His words ensured she had an option. His tone reaffirming it was her choice.

It rattled Leah, especially when she finally took a moment to let her eyes travel the man standing in front of her. Holding her breath, she looked harder than she allowed herself to before, searching for the Jacob she remembered. The seventeen-year-old kid she'd last seen.

She didn't know if it was possible, but somehow he'd grown. Somehow, he looked older, too. Bigger. His frame was fuller than she remembered it. Broader. His cropped hair was gone, replaced by a long wave of black tied loosely behind his shoulders.

She kept trying, attempting to find any sign of the stubborn, bull-headed kid she remembered beneath his altered frame. The one who always spoke before he thought better of it, throwing caution to the wind and dealing with the consequences of his words later.

She couldn't find him.

She couldn't see any of it, at least not in that moment.

Instead, all she could see was a loyal determination, a steady confidence. An infinite patience that was entirely new, a sign of the boy that was no longer there. She saw power, strength, and wisdom - several facets combining to define the man he'd turned into.

And the longer she held his gaze, the clearer she could see...the eyes of a leader. A new Alpha. One who always put his pack before himself.

_His pack..._

Fuck, she'd seen that powerful hue before. She'd seen that look, in another pair of eyes, so many years earlier…

She remembered when it went away. When it disappeared completely...

Leah couldn't contain the shudder as it ripped up her spine.

But she didn't move, her body still shaking. Every part of her struck dumb by it all, even as she continued to look. As she held on to Jacob's eyes. As a part of her realized she'd seen the rest of what lay in them - the determination, the patience, the _reassurance_- in someone else.

Blinking, she glanced quickly over Jacob's shoulder.

FInding the eyes she was thinking of.

Eyes that, with a similar look, constantly reminded her he was on _her _side...

"I don't want to do this here," she murmured, shaking her head. "I don't want to stand in some hallway in the middle of a hotel and try to pretend like this is how I wanted all this to happen, Jake. I didn't want to do this...not yet."

"Yet?"

When Jacob spoke, Leah glanced back to Embry. Expression conflicted and anxious, his body instinctively leaned forward, like all he wanted to do was close the distance separating them.

Like all he wanted to do was protect her from all of it, even though he knew better than anyone how badly she needed to face it.

Jacob noticed, throwing a subtle glimpse over his shoulder before turning back to Leah.

"Okay," he continued firmly, "let's get out of the hallway then. How about we go back in the room?" He flashed her another tentative grin. "That pizza you brought smelled really fucking good."

She couldn't return the smile - not yet, everything inside her preparing for a hundred questions she wasn't sure she would be able to answer. Still completely blown away by how Jacob was holding each one of them in, despite the fact she wasn't daft enough to think he didn't want to ask.

She also remembered everything she put Embry through before she could even admit how fucked up she was…

_That was then…_

_That was _before…

She eventually allowed Embry to be there.

She eventually called her brother.

And she couldn't help but think that even though _this_ eventually had come sooner than anticipated, maybe it wouldn't be as hard as the night she first saw Embry in that bar. Or as difficult as it was to dial the numbers herself to hear Seth's voice. To invite Autumn to lunch. To put herself out there. To offer her friendship to someone for the first time in years, even if it was in the smallest of ways.

_She'd come this far..._

Still, she didn't have a chance to respond before Jacob turned, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away without another word. Leah's lips parted in surprise, watching as he disappeared into the hotel room.

As he gave her the choice to follow.

However, Embry stayed where he was, the way he shifted from one foot to the other buying him some time. It caused her to feet to grow roots, an inherent part of her still not wanting to follow Jacob. When Leah eventually ripped her gaze from the path he took, she let her eyes find Embry's concerned gaze, the expression in it bordering a fine line between subtle concern and something more prominent.

More pride, despite it all.

Swallowing, Leah tried like hell to pull herself together. She looked away, doing everything in her power to hang onto the microscopic strands of confidence flickering somewhere inside her.

"Can you stop looking at me like that?" She'd spoken similar words before. "I'm not gonna break."

She heard the breath push past his lips. "I know," he murmured, and she looked up in time to see him glance down at the floor. "I just...lost track of my phone, Leah. I swear I didn't know he was coming."

She didn't reply, a stubborn, more difficult part of her not wanting to let him off the hook so easy. A part of her still feeling like he could have warned her. That if he had, she could have had a moment to fucking _breathe_. To come up for air during a week when she felt like she was barely staying afloat among past mistakes, mended bridges, and steps toward some kind of a fucked up definition of self-redemption.

But that wasn't how her life worked, and this moment was apparently no exception.

Several heavy, silent seconds passed before Embry sighed.

"Do you want me to stay?"

Leah took a deep breath, unable to push the thought from her mind. Unable to convince herself there _wasn't_ a right and a wrong answer to that question.

But despite everything, she remembered what she thought the night before...about ripping off bandages.

About remembering who would be there when she was done, just in case she was left exposed and bleeding.

"No," she replied, astonished by the confidence in the word, even though her mind backpedaled when she heard Embry's heart stutter. "I just...I can do this...by myself."

She glanced at Embry just in time to see him nod, his features expressionless.

"Okay."

Leah couldn't stop the way her breath hitched when he moved, when Embry's body brushed past hers. How she stood there frozen for a split second, listening to his footsteps retreat. How her lips parted, a larger part of her wanting to ask where he was going. If he was coming back. How long he would be…

But she didn't, all the thoughts and words disappearing as she pulled a calming breath into her lungs. As she took a step forward, followed by another. As she made her way back to the hotel room she stood in front of minutes earlier.

The time it took to step into the room felt infinite, Leah's shaky fingers reaching out to close the door behind her. Wiping her clammy palms on her dress, she took another deep breath. Taking the steps she needed to, the room expanded around her.

Jacob was hunched over the desk, peering at an open laptop, two fingers aimlessly brushing over the trackpad.

He released a sigh, but he didn't look up.

"So, there was a complication with the deal...some papers the lawyers didn't have," he explained forlornly, despite the fact Leah hadn't uttered a single word. Clenching and unclenching her fists anxiously at her sides, Leah watched as he pulled his hands away from the computer, leaning against the desk but still staring at the screen. "And, since I'm the legal owner, turns out they needed those _and _my signature on at least one dotted line."

Leah crossed her arms tightly in front of her chest, leaning against the wall. Unable to look away, even when Jacob straightened. Even when he turned around, serious eyes catching hers.

"I'd explain it, but I'm assuming you already know most of what's going on…"

Bristling at the way he said it, Leah scowled. "I don't need your insinuations, Jacob," she said coldly. "In case you forgot, I didn't ask for you to be standing on the other side of the door when I showed up here."

"Point taken," Jacob replied quickly, dropping his gaze. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he leaned against the desk. "But you're here, and you can't blame me for wanting to know how. Or why…"

Ignoring that flicker of self-preservation still lingering somewhere inside her, Leah pushed herself off the wall, crossing the floor until she reached the bed. With an exhausted sigh, she turned, dropping to the mattress.

"Then tell me what you want from me," she said quietly, rubbing her face with her hands.

Jacob didn't speak, taking a moment to appraise her. Surprising her when he let out a frustrated groan, the reality of what was actually happening coming to a head.

"Jesus, Leah," Jacob exclaimed, his stare focused intently on her. "I…I don't even really know how to _start _this conversation. I like to think I've gotten pretty good at having ones like this over the years, but I'm just...I have about a million questions, and all of them I want answers to, but I won't get them all, no matter what I say."

Looking away, Leah's elbows pressed into her thighs. "I'd say you're right…" she muttered, "but you're about the thirteenth curve ball I've had thrown at me in the past week and I'm still standing, so you might get lucky. I might be feeling more inclined to give you answers just so I can put this one behind me…"

Arms dropping, Jacob's palms curled around the edge of the desk, his lips cracking an ironic smile. "Lucky me, then, huh?" When Leah scoffed, he took a deep breath, ignoring her sarcasm. "Alright, then...so I guess the best thing I can say is...that I want you to tell me what you're willing to tell me." He paused until Leah's face was expressionless. Until she looked up at him and he was certain he had her attention. "It's not an order, and I'm not requiring you to say anything, because you're right...that's not my place anymore, no matter what nature says. I won't force you, but I still want to know. So if I ask you a question and you want to answer it, go for it. If not, just tell me it's off limits, okay?"

Leah couldn't help the foreign smile that pulled at the corner of her mouth, Jacob's method coming off as more than ridiculous.

A part of her dumbfounded by how much she found herself _appreciating _him for it.

Leah nodded anyway, clasping her hands together. Pressing her fist tightly against her mouth, the questions eventually came.

"So how long have you been in Chicago?"

Leah took a breath, fueling her ability to get the words out.

"Since I left."

"Did your family know you were here?"

Leah nodded.

"And how long has Embry known?"

That time, she allowed her eyes to redirect, finding Jacob's wide, insistent stare trained on her. "Since the day he got here," she replied steadily, feeling like there was more she needed to explain. "I ran into him in a bar the night he flew in."

"So he's known the entire time he's been here?"

Leah nodded, recognizing the traces of disappointment in Jacob's voice, another part of her immediately going on the defensive. A part of her wanting to protect Embry from Jacob's insinuations, too.

"I told him not to tell you," she pushed out hurriedly, shaking her head. "When I told him that...I didn't want _him _here, let alone anyone else."

Jacob chewed on her words for a moment before glancing toward the floor. "That makes sense, I guess. Still wish he would have told me...but I guess Embry's always been protective when it comes to you."

Frowning, Leah didn't miss the twisting in her stomach. "What do you mean?"

Jacob looked up, meeting her curious eyes. "I mean, Seth aside, Em took it the hardest when you left, Leah...when no one would tell us where you were. He's the one who looked for you first, and the one who always stayed on an hour extra after his patrols to see if he could pick up anything that might lead us to believe you'd tried to come home."

Leah swallowed, a part of her speechless because of what Jacob said, another part of her wondering where it came from. Why he felt the need to tell her that when there were so many other things he could ask. So many other things he could tell her about.

"He told me you all looked for me...for awhile," she murmured hesitantly, a larger part of her not wanting to tell Jacob _anything _that happened since Embry showed up in Chicago. A part of her wanting to keep that to herself, too. "But he didn't tell me that."

Jacob shrugged. "I'm sure you know why he did," he replied, eyebrows lifting slightly. "I know he was the last one of us to see you before you left." When Leah raised her own surprised eyebrow, Jacob looked away. "He thinks no one knows, but he slips sometimes. He can't keep that barrier in place all the time. He's slipped, and I've seen it. How sometimes he blames himself."

Staring at her feet, Leah's stomach wrenched. "It wasn't his fault I left."

"I know," Jacob murmured, "and I'm pretty sure he knows that, too, but that's just Embry…"

Shaking her head, Leah refused to look back, focusing on the alarm clock resting on the nightstand instead.

"He shouldn't feel that way…"

Jacob made a noise of agreement in his throat, prompting Leah to glance at him. "No, he shouldn't," he reinforced, "but I think he just always thought he could have done _more_...that, and he doesn't give up on people he cares about, which is pretty much the opposite of what the people who were _supposed _to care about _him _did." Jacob's eyes lingered for a moment before he pulled them away. "Still, I don't think it's just that."

Leah swallowed, refusing to ask what Jacob meant by it.

Another part of her knowing anyway...

But Jacob changed the subject, and she let a rough, shaky breath spill from her dry lips.

"So, are you...doing okay, Leah?" Jacob asked tentatively, his tone slightly sheepish. For a split second, bringing back a part of the kid she remembered. "It's been so long...did leaving lead you down the right path?"

Leah chuckled before she could stop it, the gesture sounding out of place as she shook her head in surprise. "You sound like your dad…"

She glanced back in time to see Jake grin. "Yeah, well...try growing up around it," he retorted. "Although it all kind of makes sense now why he always tried so hard to make sure all his lessons stuck."

The smile falling from her lips, Leah glanced back at her hands resting distractedly in her lap. "There's not much to tell. I went to college. I have a good job. I made a life for myself...for all intents and purposes."

Jacob didn't respond, and Leah couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. The one confirming he wasn't going to leave things where they were, that it wasn't the answer he was searching for. He was skating the thin ice of a surface she definitely did not want to breach. Not with him. Not yet.

"But you never came home. I think we all thought you would eventually, but you didn't. Not even to visit," he continued. "Why?"

Leah shrugged, closing her eyes and silently swearing to herself. She'd seen it coming, and a part of her screamed to simply speak those two words. Two words were all she needed and he'd leave it alone. He promised he'd leave it alone...

"I didn't want that life anymore."

_The wrong words..._

Wincing, she glanced up in time to see Jacob frown. "You didn't want your family?"

"No!" Leah exclaimed, lips parting in a frustrated scowl. "You know that's not what I fucking meant. Of _course _I wanted to see my family, but...it was one in the same, Jacob. _All _of them…" All kinds of wrong words were spilling out of a place she kept entirely too _close _to the surface these days, putting them on display for Jacob before she could be sure she was ready to tell him. "All of _you _tied back to it somehow. What happened...what I did. I just couldn't be there. And...everything just got worse..._inside_."

Jacob's shoulders lifted with a heavy, despondent breath. "We woulda helped you through it, Leah," he assured quietly. "Emily, she didn't…"

"Off limits."

That time, she remembered.

Jacob gaped at her, lips parted with stunned words still resting inside his mouth. "Okay," he pressed on tentatively, "but you _know _what I'm trying to say."

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Embry yesterday," Leah responded, eyes wide with purpose.  
"I didn't want to be a part of a life that took away my choices. That caused me to hurt people."

"But you just told me things got worse," Jacob murmured, his gaze knowing and unnerving and a hundred other things that seemed to debunk what she was saying.

Leah hesitated, the response she'd trained herself to say forming on her lips.

"I still don't regret it…"

"But you left...and you stayed away," Jacob pushed, his body leaning forward with conviction. "You could have called. You could have _visited_. You could have talked to Embry, to me, to _any _of us...just to let us know where you were. That you were okay. That you were happy…"

"No, Jake, I _couldn't _have," Leah ground out from between clenched teeth, matching his purposeful stare with her own. "You can't come here and pretend like you understand what happened with me the past six years. I can sit here and talk to you about this _now_, but fuck…" She shook her head, suddenly unable to look at him, staring at some invisible spot on the floor instead. "_So much_ has changed. Ten days ago, I would not be sitting here talking to you about this and I wouldn't be within a hundred miles of this hotel if I knew you were here."

She swore she could hear Jacob swallow, letting the words settle between them for a split second before he asked the question she knew he would. Knowing he wanted to understand, at least a little bit, what had kept her away for so long.

"Then where would you be, if you wouldn't be here?"

Eyes squeezing shut, Leah drew in a deep breath, forcing out the rest. "I would be out chasing some _part _of that person you remember...the one I left behind when I ran. I'd be chasing her but would never really be catching her...because I left her there, Jake. I didn't care about any of it...any of _you_, and I constantly told myself that. The person you knew? The one who gave a fuck? The one who was good at that life before she ruined it? She was long gone by the time I got here."

Leah forced her eyes open. Head tipping toward Jacob, she implored him to understand what she was saying in the words she was allowing.

"And she's just _now _starting to come back..."

There was a flicker of comprehension in Jacob's steady eyes when she spoke the words, as he searched hers and let them answer probably a dozen more questions he wanted to ask. As he let at least a few puzzle pieces fall quietly into place.

"So you just decided to inflict all the hurt on yourself to spare everyone else. Am I close?"

Leah swallowed, the truth behind the words knocking the air from her lungs, causing any other words to evaporate in her mouth. She dropped her gaze, once again training it on the floor, fingers wringing together anxiously on her lap.

"I'd say that's about as close as you're gonna get."

The silence was heavy, and Leah caught herself wondering what else there was to say. What else there _possibly _was that Jacob would want to know.

Still, he wasn't close to finished.

"Listen," he pressed on quietly. "I'm not gonna pretend like I know what's happened all these years, or where your life went besides what you've already told me, and I'm not going to ask...even though I want to. I don't want to give you the third degree and ask you if you made the right choice, because I think I have a pretty good idea."

Leah could hear the mild insinuation again, but she glanced away, turning her head away from him. Refusing to bite back, a larger part of her knowing that wasn't what he meant by it. That he wasn't trying to be cruel. That he wasn't trying to provoke her.

Knowing that Jacob had always been perceptive, and knowing - as Alpha - it was his job to know his pack.

_His pack…_

Leah closed her eyes, fighting back the urge to shut down.

"Thank you," she said instead.

"But I do want you to know," Jacob whispered, "that you still hurt us, too."

The restraint was swept away with his words. Leah could feel all the venom resurfacing, all the heat wanting to push its way through her veins. Opening her eyes, she turned her head toward him. She wanted to let it all fall from her lips, to remind Jacob just how much _she _hurt the past six years.

But she didn't, because it didn't matter. She swallowed it back because Leah wasn't dense or selfish enough to deny what he was saying was truth. She'd heard it in her brother's voice. She'd seen it in Embry's eyes...

Leah closed hers again.

"I know…"

Jacob sighed, the heaviness behind it towing a line of regret and exhaustion Leah couldn't fathom.

"Listen, Leah, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I swear I'm not," he insisted. "I've always hoped this would happen eventually...and I've always thought of this conversation I'd have with you about a million times in my head."

"Is it living up to your expectations?" Leah asked, unable to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

Jacob chuckled. "Trying to prepare for it was kind of pointless, yeah."

Leah didn't look away in time to hide the small smile on her mouth.

"But that's something I do know," Jacob continued. "I _know _what it did to everyone at home when you left, and even though I don't expect you to understand, I think deep down, you do. I think you know, too. What it did to me, to your family, to Embry. To the rest of the pack..."

Leah didn't reply, her lips pressing into a thin line as she tried to ignore the burning in her eyes. It was a feeling she fucking hated, a different kind of shame, but one she'd felt often in the days leading up to the moment they were in.

"There's been a huge hole...since you left," Jacob murmured as Leah bit down hard on the inside of her lip, trying to distract herself but listening despite it all. "Not just in the pack, but in our _Iives_, Leah. I don't think you understand the role you played before...everything happened. What you meant to us, and how helpless everyone felt because there was nothing we could do to find you because the only people who knew were too afraid to tell us because of their own fear."

Leah blinked rapidly, the moisture flaming against her skin as it left a trail down her cheek. She recognized what Jacob was saying, his words reinforcing something she refused to believe for years, despite the fact it was something she always knew. She knew because it was in her mother's voice whenever Leah talked to her, in the year she went without speaking to her brother. It was in Embry's eyes the first time she walked away from him in that bar.

And even though she was trying, it still left her wishing - hoping, more than ever - that she would eventually be able to fix it.

"Good to see you're still kind of a know-it-all, Jacob," Leah said sarcastically, thankful there was still a hint of jest laced through the words.

Jacob chuckled, and a part of Leah was grateful he'd picked up on it, too. "No...I've just gotten pretty perceptive doing this." With a sigh, he pushed himself off the desk. "Still, I want you to know...that no one has filled that void, Leah. It's always been there, and I think you've felt it, too. And maybe you don't know this, but we've do...we know there's only one person who can fill it."

Leah glanced down at her feet, Her hand reaching up to swipe away residual tears, knowing what he was saying. Recognizing the way he was doing it, Jacob's words doing something to validate the fact that the loneliness - the emptiness - she'd felt all the years she'd been away maybe wasn't something where the cause rested solely on her.

That maybe it was something beyond her control. That maybe she'd exacerbated it by the walls she put in place.

"How long has it been since you phased?"

Leah closed her eyes, the answer coming to her immediately.

"Not since that night."

She heard Jacob take a deep breath. "Do you think that was the right choice?"

Leah looked up to see Jacob watching her, his expression stoic and unwavering, reassuring her that no matter what, there was no right or wrong answer to the question.

"Yes," she said shakily, blinking rapidly before she looked away. Before she opened her mouth to speak again. "Maybe...I don't know."

Jacob let the silence linger a moment before he continued. "Well, it doesn't matter whether it was or wasn't. It's still a part of you, and I'm sure you've felt _that_, too. _We're _still a part of you as much as you're a part of us. You're pack, Leah."

Leah winced, confused by how he could say that with so much certainty after how much time had passed. Especially considering how many bridges she'd burned and relationships she'd jeopardized.

"It's not just something you can turn off," Jacob pressed, not waiting for her to respond. "It's not something _we _can turn off, and it's not something you can either. And no matter what you think...no matter what anyone made you believe or how much you think we might have gave up...we don't give up on pack. And regardless of whether or not you still phase, you're still a part of this one."

Shaking her head, Leah gaped at Jacob in disbelief, even though she could remember someone else telling her that not that long ago.

_I'm part of your pack, Leah, and we don't give up on pack, and I'm not gonna give up on you..._

Still, she had to ask.

"I don't understand how you can say that...not after all this time."

"I can say it...with confidence even," Jacob reassured, his brow lifting determinedly. "And I know Embry. If you didn't have a good _reason _for staying away as long as you did, I know he wouldn't still be here. I know there's a reason he is, and I know there's a reason you are, too."

Leah pressed her lips together tightly, letting the silence settle between them. Letting Jacob's words filter through her. Processing them. Thinking about each one.

"So, listen...I'm done. I won't say any more, but I will say one thing," Jacob spoke up, turning as he walked toward the opposite side of the room. "I can't promise you it would be easy after all this time, but I can promise you there's truth in everything I just told you. If you were to ever come home, even to visit, you'd have my support. That your family...and your pack...would be happier to see you than you might think."

And Leah wondered, because Jacob was also the second person to tell her that no matter what she did, no matter how far she ran, she was still a part of the very thing she had ran _from_.

That she was still a _welcome _part of it, if what Jacob said was true. Even after all she did. No matter how long it had been.

Still, that didn't mean she wanted it.

It didn't mean she wanted to go back.

_Not yet..._

"So the pizza is probably cold…"

Jacob smiled, looking toward the box on the other side of the room. "It'll probably taste just as good. Tell you what, Em better get back soon or else he's gonna miss out." He frowned, throwing a cursory glance toward the door. "Where the hell did he go anyway?"

"I don't know," Leah whispered. "For a walk, I think."

When Jacob reached the pizza box, he glanced at Leah over his shoulder, one incredulous eyebrow lifting.

"Is there something going on with you and Embry?"

Leah's breath caught in her chest. "What?"

"He has this look…" Jacob dipped his hand into the box, emerging seconds later with a thick slice of pizza. "I'm not _just _his Alpha. I've been the guy's best friend since before we could walk."

Swallowing past the tightness in her throat, Leah's voice came out in a whisper. Not just unwilling to answer his question, but unable to give it an answer he would understand.

Fuck, _she_ didn't even understand it.

"Off limits."

Pausing with the slice of pizza suspended halfway between the box and his mouth, Jacob eventually nodded, his head dropping in silent understanding.

He bit into the food, and Leah finally remembered to breathe.

The same moment she heard a soft knock on the door.

Rolling his eyes goodnaturedly, Jacob shuffled over to the door, pizza still in hand, throwing it open as Leah caught herself once again holding the air in her chest.

"Dude...this is your fucking hotel room. I really don't think knocking is necessary."

Leah watched as Embry pushed past Jacob, distraught eyes immediately finding hers, silently searching to make sure he'd come back at the right time. That he'd given them enough of it. Looking for that, and looking for about a thousand other things in the span of a second.

She didn't speak. Instead, she only gave him a tight-lipped smiled, the knot sitting in the bottom of her stomach unraveling slightly when she did.

"So, I'm gonna take this with me…"

It took Leah a moment to look away from Embry, to realize Jacob was speaking again. Blinking in surprise, she focused on him, eyebrows knit together in confusion.

Jacob shrugged. "I need to check in. This room only has one bed."

Leah watched as Jacob picked up a large duffel bag from the floor, chewing noisily on a huge bite of pizza. Embry stepped aside, tentative eyes watching Jacob as he passed.

Jacob opened the door before slowly turning around, a light smile resting on his lips. "So, I'm glad we did this. I'm glad you showed up, Leah, even if you're probably kicking yourself for it now." He chuckled, and Leah glanced at her lap, hiding her own smile. "I do have one last question though…"

Glancing up, Leah shot him a curious frown. "And what's that?"

Jacob's smile stayed where it was. "When's the last time you talked to your brother?"

Swallowing thickly, Leah noticed the absence in her stomach - how it didn't twist into a thousand tiny knots. How it didn't ache with the fierce regret she was used to.

How she felt like, maybe, she could finally talk about it with an honesty she hadn't felt in so long.

Leah could feel Embry watching her, everything he'd seen before expecting her to react differently. Preparing for those reactions she _wasn't _feeling to come to a head.

They never showed up.

Leah took a deep breath.

"Last night," she whispered.

Jacob's smile widened, taking a step through the doorway but never looking away from her. "Good. So I'll see you at the wedding, I take it?"

Leah could still feel another pair of eyes, burning holes straight through her.

She smiled back - a small one, but a smile all the same - trying to ignore everything else. A part of her still not understanding how any of it happened. How she'd found herself in this situation.

How she'd made it through, discovering that if she _did _decide to go home, she may have another ally there after all.

Another friend to help her through it.

"Maybe," she answered softly.

Jacob chuckled. "That's better than nothing, I suppose." He glanced up, looking behind her to Embry. "Don't ever let me tell you you're horrible at keeping secrets again." When Embry looked away, Jacob shook his head, still smiling. "Anyway, don't forget...the signing is tomorrow morning now. I'm gonna see if I can get your return flight pushed back to tomorrow afternoon because with that out of the way, I could really use you back to manage the shop while I start scouting properties for the new one."

Leah had no idea why, but her heart faltered, all the air escaping her body at Jacob's suggestion.

Tomorrow…

She tried to inhale, but the tightness only grew worse, her fingers curling around the comforter beneath her. The reminder bringing forward a realization she somehow managed to forget about until that moment.

_Tomorrow…_

And for some inexplicable reason, the word was only followed by two more.

_Too soon…_

And she did the worst possible thing in that moment.

She looked up from her lap, conflicted, confused eyes seeking out Embry. Forgetting the things she thought before she and Jacob talked, everything else coming back. All the warmth, all the safety. All the moments that had nothing to do with Jacob and everything to do with her and Embry, mixed with the tangible certainty of something else.

Fear.

Fear of losing it.

Fear of losing _him_...

Leaning against the wall, Embry was already watching her, ignoring Jacob's expectant stare as he held hers. Silently telling her he'd already thought about it.

That he was thinking the exact same thing.

Somehow, in the middle of everything that happened the twenty-four hours before, she'd forgotten just how numbered the minutes they had left were. How Jacob saying it out loud reminded her Embry wasn't going to be there forever. How she already knew he had a life so many miles away despite letting herself forget, if only for a moment.

Beneath all that, she also remembered all the minutes they had _before _that one and how - in one instant, for some inexplicable reason - it wasn't _nearly _enough.

_Tomorrow _wasn't enough.

She couldn't figure out why it mattered, but she couldn't bring herself to look away first.

And neither could Embry, but his lips parted, breath leaving him before he spoke low, purposeful words.

"I think I'm gonna stick around till Thursday," he murmured, eyes still holding Leah's. "If that's okay…"

Holding her breath, Embry's words confirmed what she already thought. A part of her expected Jacob to argue, to tell Embry he had no choice in the matter. That his life - the one he had so far away - and all the responsibilities that went along with it were more important than this.

She made herself look away, forcing her eyes to find Jacob instead, still refusing to breathe. Waiting as he watched Embry, that same knowing look in his eyes from earlier.

"Well, we survived this long without you," Jacob replied softly, glancing at the floor and taking another step into the hallway. "Suppose we can get by another couple days." He shot a brief glance toward Leah. "See you soon, hopefully."

And with that, she watched him pull the door closed, encasing the room in silence. Leaving her and Embry alone.

Embry didn't speak a word and neither did Leah, even though she recycled the few words he had said in her head. How he'd asked to stay longer. How he'd refused to leave even though Jacob needed him. Even though his life was anxiously awaiting his arrival back home.

As she tried to figure out what it meant.

How she already _knew_, all the definition she needed buried not so deep in the pair of ebony eyes she could still feel watching her.

All of it in Jacob's words from earlier.

_He doesn't give up on the people he cares about._

Something she already knew, the proof of it in every single moment of the past ten days.

_He has this look…_

One she'd already seen. One - as she finally allowed herself to look up, to find those eyes - she could see in that moment. The same warmth, affection, _pride _she was used to.

She knew why - why he stayed. Why he came back. Why he didn't want to leave.

Because it was there - all of it, mixed with something new. A glimmer of something else, something that had _always _been there but she'd never noticed before. That he'd contained. Words she wouldn't allow herself to think and ones she wasn't sure she could bring herself to hear. Not now. Maybe not ever...

Still, she couldn't ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach, the one that knew better. The one that should have seen it coming. The one that didn't want to _let _him. She couldn't ignore it.

But she was going to. She already knew that, too.

She was going to because all of it - beneath the anxiety, the fear it brought forth - she finally recognized the feeling inside _her_. The safety, her own warmth, the confidence those eyes brought out of her. The urge to do better.

To _be _better.

For herself…

And for _him_.

She recognized it, because she'd felt it before.

And even though that fear was still there - that reluctance to put a name to it, to figure out what it meant then and there, and that inherent reaction to put a stop to it - she stood on shaky legs, smoothing her dress as she held Embry's gaze. As she crammed a million apologies into a single look.

Figuring this moment out first, and knowing what she wanted to come from it.

Embry swallowed, though his eyes never lowered from hers. "You called Seth…"

Taking a deep breath, Leah nodded.

Embry straightened, moving a step away from the wall. "Is that what you were doing yesterday? When you stayed behind at the observatory?"

Holding her breath that time, she nodded again.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Lips parting, Leah reminded herself not to look away, trying to find the right words. "Because I still wasn't sure if it meant anything."

Frowning, Embry moved suddenly, crossing the distance between them in a few long steps. The air stuck in her chest, Leah looked up as his hands reached out, catching her face between them. "Leah...of _course _it meant something."

Leah's inhale was shaky, the tremors spreading slowly through the rest of her body. "I know...but I'm still not sure it means what you want it to mean."

Embry's eyes fell and he released her slowly, fingertips tracing the length of her jaw as his gaze followed their path.

"You still coulda told me," he whispered. "This being here for you thing...it's not something I'm gonna turn on and off, Leah. No matter how slow or how small the steps you take are, I'm not going to stop."

"I know," Leah repeated, a part of her remembering something else Jacob said. A reason she didn't have before, but one that suddenly made too much sense held up against her own. "But I didn't want to tell you until I knew if it made a difference, you know? I didn't want to...get your hopes up...and then let you down if it didn't..._work out_ the way you hoped it would."

Releasing a deep sigh, Embry's expression relaxed and he peered back at her through grateful, liquid eyes. "You're not gonna let me down."

"I might," Leah pressed, her arms lifting without waiting for permission, hands inherently finding his waist. "And I know you have hopes...a lot of them. I can see it when you look at me, and that's okay because you want me to be better and you seem to get all of this better than I do, especially since I have no idea what I'm fucking doing half the time." Her fingers curled tighter against his frame. "It's just...I already _have _let you down...probably about a hundred times, and I didn't know it before, but I know it now...and I don't want you to think it's your fault if I can't do it."

"If you can't do what?" Embry murmured.

Leah took a deep breath. "If I can't go home. I don't want you to think it's your fault if I can't…"

There was a flicker of understanding in Embry's eyes, one she recognized from a night years earlier when he stood in her kitchen. When she'd asked him to leave. The same one from so many times over the past ten days, when she'd pushed him away.

A resignation, an admittance. A knowledge that while he knew deep down it wasn't his fault, a little part of him still carried more weight than the rest of those she left behind. A part that always _would _blame himself for letting her go.

And she fucking hated it. She hated that look, and she wanted it to go away because he hadn't done any of it. None of it was his fault, and even if she'd told him before - in whatever way she had tried - she needed to tell him again.

She needed to make sure he understood.

"What did Jacob say to you?" Embry asked slowly, his voice so quiet Leah caught herself leaning in.

"Nothing," she answered hurriedly, shaking her head. "Nothing that I didn't know anyway...not when I stop to think about it."

Embry raised an eyebrow. "So everything went...?"

"Shh. " Leah couldn't help it as she lifted a finger, stubbornly pressing it to his lips. "Let me get this out, okay?"

She finally dropped her finger when Embry smiled against it.

She took a deep breath, releasing the words building up some place inside her. "Maybe that's why I wanted you to leave so I could talk to Jake, in case I couldn't do _that_. I don't know, it's just...I _did _do it and it was okay. He was..._understanding_ and he said a lot of things that might have helped," she rambled, her gaze flicking down to Embry's chest. "And you're back now and you're staying and I'm _sorry_."

A moment passed before she felt one deft finger beneath her chin, prompting her to look at him. "What are you sorry for?"

"For everything," Leah admitted, still not sure where all the words were coming from. "For not telling you, for that split second I didn't believe you when you told me you didn't know Jake was coming...for any time I made you feel like any of this was your fault."

"Leah, what are you talking about?"

Holding her breath, she peered up, releasing Embry. Moving swiftly, she roughly took his face between both hands, urging him to see all the sincerity in her eyes. Wanting him to believe - even if she never felt that way and he never made her believe otherwise - there was nothing he could have done to stop her.

"Me...leaving. It's not your fault."

Embry closed his eyes, chest heaving with a deep breath. A moment passed before he reached up, hands spreading over hers as he tried to pull them away. A silent reassurance hers weren't necessary.

He'd always done that - took on more than he should have. Bore a heavier weight than he deserved, and fuck if she didn't want to make it go away. For a second. For the night.

_For good..._

"You kept me there," she insisted, her voice uneven. Tentative, but sure. "Even if it was only for a second, you kept me there. You pulled me back. Then..._now_." He opened his eyes, lips parting as he peered down at her. As his gaze mapped a path over her features, finally landing on the conviction in her eyes.

"You pull me back." She said it again, words still coming faster than she could contain them, but she refused to stop. She refused to close her mouth, letting each one fall from fumbling yet honest lips. "There's my family, but other than them, you are the only one that makes me question what I did. Because of what you did then...what you do _now_..._you_ are the only _good _thing in that life I left behind, and I...I don't want to make you feel that way again...e_ver_."

The look in his eyes was back, only it was more than a glimmer. It was more than a faint glimpse. She could see it all, the intensity of it wrapping around her insides, dissolving what was left of the anxiety within her.

Helping Leah to see that even if her words weren't necessary, what she wanted to do was done. That he understood what she was trying to say, even if it may not have come out the way she hoped.

It didn't matter.

Reaching up, Leah's hands curled around Embry's neck, pulling him to her. Certain lips covering his, pulling him to her this time, letting him know that's where she wanted him.

Right there with her, until he had to go.

They'd worry about labels and what all of it meant later. They'd wait until another day to figure out what that perpetual look in each other's eyes meant, and why desperate hands always seemed to reach for one another all too quickly.

The need he carried, the way his mouth moved against hers, immediately stole the breath from her lungs. Trying to inhale, she pulled his scent into her nostrils, the action doing little to temper the need in her. It made it worse, doing even less to stop her hands from memorizing the contours of Embry's chest as both grazed over his frame, to not feel how his fingers dug into her waist and into her neck, pulling her closer to him.

Her feet moving beneath her, Embry's arms wrapped around her body until it turned. Until suddenly the weight of his was pressed against her, the wall at her back, all of it pushing a sigh from her lips that was swept away by mouth. Leah tipped her head back, squeezing her eyes shut and struggling to find her breath as blazing hands swept the length of her arms and a purposeful mouth left a trail of deep kisses on her neck.

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, Leah's hands moved, finding the hem of Embry's t-shirt. Her fingers were on fire as she pushed them beneath the fabric, grazing smooth, copper skin before curling around the button of his jeans. Before pulling him to her again.

He didn't fight her. He didn't pull away, one hand twisting gently through her hair, the other dropping. One heated palm wrapped around her thigh, lifting it to his hip the same time Leah felt her shaking fingers release the button she found herself struggling with.

It was happening again. It was happening and she _wanted _it, just as much as the last time, if not more. It wasn't just because she wanted him closer, or how fucking sweet and _good _his breath tasted against her lips. How his palms against her flesh continued to fan that consuming fire already inside her.

She wanted to _show him_, to prove to Embry just how much she meant the words she spoke. How she felt in that moment...when she saw him after waiting outside his door. The mornings she woke up in his bed, and when she laid across from him the night before last.

Even if she refused to put words to it - even if she _couldn't_ - she wanted to show him. How he made her feel.

What _he _deserved.

And Leah was counting on Embry to see it. To understand how in that moment, words wouldn't matter. That he would remember she had always been a lot like him in at least one way.

Always saying things best without words.

But when she held her breath - determined hands sweeping beneath the waist of his jeans, unfaltering fingers tracing the flesh over the cut of his hips - Embry made a noise in his throat.

He pulled back, lips stilling against hers as his mind caught up to the rest of him.

She opened her eyes, finding black, conflicted ones already staring back at her.

Fighting to catch her breath, she brought her hands up when Embry leaned in, pressing his forehead against hers. As hot breath washed over her lips. As he fought some battle inside him she couldn't see, one that Leah knew had to do with her. His hesitance still abundantly clear. How it somehow tied back to the other night, no matter how perfect and _needed _it had been.

"Leah," he whispered, his voice lower than it should have been. Her name heavy as he pushed it out on a ragged breath. "I…"

Leaning forward, she silenced him by pressing the most gentle kiss she could manage against those lips. Giving back to him just a sliver of what he had given her before…

She pulled away, keeping her eyes closed. Not wanting to see the hesitance, but for reasons she wasn't entirely used to. She kissed him again, feeling her lips brush softly against his when she finally parted them to speak.

"Let me show you this time," she whispered. "That it's okay, Embry...that I _know_."

"Leah…" He murmured her name again, still struggling to catch his breath, an ounce of heaviness gone from his voice. A hint of something else laced through it, almost like he knew what she meant by her words.

But she said them just in case. They were words she _could _say, if it meant he'd understand.

"You're _not them_…" Her voice barely audible, her fingertips found his face. Feeling the roughness of stubble beneath her hands, outlining a strong jaw. Memorizing every facet of it while she could.

A part of her wildly hoping she wouldn't have to…

"And I don't want you to stop...not this time."

He didn't speak a word. He didn't make a sound, the only noise coming from heavy breaths pushing from two mouths, two bodies at some kind of crossroads.

Silence finally coming when Embry's needful lips once again found hers, as Leah found whatever answer she was looking for in the silence immediately following.

She pushed instead of pulled, once again feeling her legs move as one strong arm wrapped around her. As her fingers still grasped at Embry's face, her body responding to the low, rumbling noise he made in his throat when she pulled his bottom lip between her teeth. As the fire crawled through her veins when she recaptured his mouth, simmering just below her skin when obstinate fingers found the zipper of her dress, lowering it in one swift, undeterred movement.

It wasn't like the last time. Leah knew as much in the way impatient hands moved, how his fingers brushed the straps of her dress from her shoulders. How it fell to the floor the same time she reached back, clasping his t-shirt between shaking fingers, removing it from his body in a single movement. How her hands lowered to another zipper the same time she felt his at her back, removing the last barrier between his skin and hers.

The cool air within the walls of the hotel room was exhilarating against Leah's bare, heated flesh, but it was swept away by Embry's hands when they touched her. As they traveled the length of her back, the curve of her ass before curling around her thighs.

Leah gasped against Embry's mouth when her feet left the ground, as he lowered them both to the bed behind him. Knees pushing into the mattress, Leah opened her eyes, the heat of Embry's body resting between her legs causing a visceral shudder to tear up her spine.

They stayed like that for a moment, Leah's fingernails brushing lightly against his neck as Embry left kisses on her shoulder, on her clavicle, on her neck, making his mark on any part of her he could reach. As he pulled back, those ebony eyes finally finding hers. The way they regarded her made her tremble, insides twisting in a way she wasn't used to but in a way they had before.

Leaning forward, Leah took his face between her hands, kissing Embry slowly. Her lips tasted his, memorizing the way they moved against hers. His gentleness was agonizing and perfect, ensuring she didn't miss a thing. Making sure she felt everything.

Fuck, she didn't want to, but Leah pulled away, placing one hand on Embry's chest. Catching her lip between her teeth to stop the smirk wanting to spread, she pushed gently, coaxing him back against the bed. Taking a deep breath as she watched him watch her.

It was a look that excited her, yet left her nervous in a single moment. Reminding her this was the first time, but unlike so many others before it, this mattered. _She mattered..._

And so did he.

Leah left one leg on either side of his body, bending down, hearing Embry's breath catch in his chest as her hands pushed against it. As she pressed her mouth to the defined spaces between his ribs, lingering there. Breathing him in. Savoring him, the same way he had done to her less than two days earlier.

She listened, taking it all in, refusing to miss a single thing. How his hands gripped her hips tighter each time she moved. How his breaths became labored, all the noises he made in his throat when she spent an extra moment where she was, her tongue peeking out to taste him. To leave her own mark on a body that had done everything short of possess hers.

All the while he touched her. His hands moved, mapping paths over her thighs, tracing the curve of her spine. Bringing all that fire she felt inside her to the surface, causing her kisses to become deeper. Her own breaths to turn longer, the burn inside her craving some kind of release.

She couldn't wait. Not a second longer.

Slow had come before, and it would come later. In that moment, she could not wait, everything inside her already threatening to fall apart beneath Embry's touch. To crumble beneath the weight of what every movement was doing to her.

_She couldn't wait…_

Leah held her breath, placing one last drawn-out kiss against his neck. She rose up, knees pressing into the mattress, feeling the heat of Embry's body between her thighs. She kept her eyes open. She wanted to see him. For later, for next time...it didn't matter.

She just wanted to remember.

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she smiled as she she watched his eyes travel unabashedly across her body. Eyes moving over the curve of full breasts, lingering for a moment, regarding her with a softness she was used to before looking away. Before finding her eyes once again.

Before she felt strong, warm hands on her hips.

Before she leaned down, letting him lift her at the same time.

As she held those eyes, eliminating any doubt. Soothing any fear he may have still carried inside him that it wasn't the right time. That it wasn't something they should be doing.

Doing what she could to get rid of it all, because there were a lot of wrong things Leah had allowed into her life.

Embry Call wasn't one of them.

Moving again, her eyes closed, every single thought going away - every word lost on her tongue - when she lowered herself the same time Embry pushed. When she finally felt him fill her wholly. Completely.

Leah's mouth fell open, her head fucking swimming at how he felt inside her. As she waited for a single moment, the fire in her veins and the second her body needed to accommodate his rendering her helpless. Forbidding her to move. Allowing her to focus on what it was already doing to her.

She opened her eyes to find Embry still watching her, his forehead creased and lips parted as he waited. As he watched, that infinite patience and endless adoration still completely present in the way he looked at her.

Helping her remember how much she missed it.

Not what they were doing, but how it made her feel.

Desired. Needed.

_Beautiful_.

Releasing a breath, Leah bent at the waist, feeling Embry wrap his arms around her body the same time she rocked forward. As her mouth found his the moment Embry's hips moved beneath her. As he pulled back. As he filled her again.

He didn't take his time, and Leah couldn't bring herself to mind. She trembled in his arms, fingers grazing the length of his jaw as her mouth traveled to the warm curve of his neck. Every movement, matched by her own, pushed the fire through her veins. The feel of his racing pulse beneath her lips, the heady scent of his need for her winded its way through her senses.

Making it all worse in the best possible way.

Still, beneath the urgency, there was everything she remembered. The way Embry didn't miss a thing. The way one hand drifted tenderly down the curve of her back while the other held her tighter to his body. The way he pressed gentle, open-mouthed kisses to her shoulder. The way he softly breathed her name into her glistening skin, reminding Leah it was _her _making him feel this way.

The way he left no part of her body and soul untouched.

Giving her that fire she craved. Making her feel _everything_. Dragging it out, in a way she wasn't sure it would be possible to end.

Embry shifted beneath her, causing Leah to cry out against his skin. She could feel one strong arm tighten around her frame, the other grasping her. Fingers clutched at Embry's flesh, holding him tight as he suddenly sat up. Leah pulled back to look at him but all of her curiosity was swept away by a blazing mouth that found hers the moment she did.

Everything inside her was boiling, causing her to lose track of it all. Making her miss it as Embry moved again, as she suddenly felt the absence of him inside her. As she felt the cool comforter pressed against her back and the heat of Embry's body above her before she could even open her eyes.

As he took control of it all.

Leah opened her eyes, reaching for Embry in the fading light inside the room. Her fingers tracing patterns down the curve of his chest, heaving with deep, labored breaths. As he watched her with dark, hooded eyes, one hand guiding her thigh to his hip.

Lips parting, Leah struggled to find her own air, the rest of her feeling cold. Fingers curled into his skin, needing him closer.

"Don't stop," she whispered, blinking rapidly. Fighting to find focus beneath the residual effects of the fiery haze wrapping itself around her insides.

Still, it wasn't enough for her to miss the small smile on Embry's lips. For her to see it disappear the same moment he leaned forward, pressing his lips to her stomach. Repeating the action a little higher, inhaling sharply as his mouth traveled through the space between her breasts. As her hands twisted through his hair, pulling, all patience within her lost somewhere in a place she didn't want to find, knowing she didn't want it back.

She opened her eyes the same moment Embry left a tender kiss on her gasping lips. To see him pull back slightly, that smile back on his, eliciting another from hers.

"Never," he whispered.

Her smile was swept away by Embry's mouth when it finally covered hers, the same time she held her legs tightly to his hips. The same time he gave her what she wanted. What she needed, and what he did, too. Reassuring her it was far from over. That, no matter what, he wouldn't pull away.

Proving that he believed what she said to him. That this was what it was supposed to feel like.

Reminding her, over and over, just how different this was - how different _he _was - from everything that came before.

* * *

**AN: YES. You guys have no idea how long I held out on this. Hope it was worth the 15-chapter wait ….. *looks around the room cautiously*. If not, I can assure you now that I've pulled the metaphorical trigger, there will be much more where that came from. Hehehe! :)**

**Anyway, can't wait to hear your thoughts!**


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